FicWad

‘Come on! Tell me!’ I begged, still refusing to get back in bed. Gerard had held me on his lap for more than 3 hours and he had to leave. I knew begging him to stay was useless. I’d already asked if he could stay with me but the doctors and nurses told me he couldn’t.

‘I’ll tell you tomorrow. Now get some sleep. I love you.’ He whispered, lifting me into the very uncomfortable hospital bed.
Over the 3 hours, we were able to rekindle our ‘relationship’. Gerard still blamed himself for me being hospitalized but I’d asked him simply not to dwell on it. I’d apologized for getting drunk and he forgave me.

‘I don’t want you to go.’ I pouted.

‘I have to. I’ll be back though. I promise.’ He kissed my forehead and tucked the blanket around me.

‘Okay. But can I ask one thing?’ I gave him another pouty look. He smiled and sat on the edge of the bed.
‘How long am I staying here?’ I knew what had happened. The shot glass had severed my vein, leading to mass blood loss and a stupid surgery.
Mikey had so gladly filled me in on all the details. Everything from how I looked when I was rushed into the hospital, right to how much blood was gushing from my arm. He even took photos, which upset my stomach.

‘Just until your body accepts the new change. Now, get some sleep. I’m not even meant to be here now. Its midnight. Love you.’ He pecked my lips and jumped up from the bed. He’d brought me my bag and phone when he’d come.

‘Love you too. Oh, and…. What… if I dream…. Again?’ I added. I looked deep into Gerard's eyes. Watching them flicker from confusion to pain.

‘If you dream again… I’ll come get you. Just think happy thoughts.’ He kissed me once more and left. I sighed and sunk back into the pillows. I prayed that I didn’t dream. Gerard wasn't just down the hall anymore so I couldn’t check to see if he was alive or not.
I yawned and shifted down in the bed, trying to find a comfortable position. When I’d found the most comfy position you could get in one of those beds, I closed my eyes and slowly slipped into a dream filled sleep.

‘Please, not this again!’ I yelled, my voice echoing back to me. It was the same room with one difference. There was a bloody body pinned and chained to the wall. I ran to it. I hadn’t noticed the floor was flooded. When I looked down, I saw my reflection in blood.
I looked into Gerard’s beautiful face. He was perfectly intact except for the pins in his hands and the metal thing in his stomach. I thought it was just something to keep him on the wall… that was till it split in half and stretched. I covered my mouth in disgust then my ears as he let out a glass shattering scream. I had thought he was already dead.
‘GERARD!’ I yelled, trying to help him but there was nothing I could do. His blood ran down the wall, adding to the flood. I continued to scream as his body hung limply from the wall. His bones were broken and his lower half was hanging by the skin.

I jerked awake, sitting straight. I wiped the sweat and tears from my face. My heavy breathing was starting to hurt my chest again, but there was no way to slow it till I knew Gerard was safe… and alive. I grabbed my phone from the bedside table and dialed Gerard's number. After 4 rings, I got worried. I glanced at the clock. 4.32am… I begged for him to be sleeping.
I sighed and was about to hang up but the dialing stopped, replaced by heavy breathing.

‘Frankie? Baby, what’s wrong?’ Gerard asked, a little out of breath. I was shocked, to say the least. I’d called him while he was…. Ewww.
‘Frankie?’ His voice was more worried. I heard the phone shift a little. I felt more tears come to my eyes.

‘I-I’m sorry… you’re busy.’ I breathed out, trying to control my voice.

‘What?... Baby, no! I’m not doing that, I promise. I was wrestling with Nic.’ He laughed a little. Probably at my stupidity.

‘Oh….’ I did feel stupid. It was 4 in the morning, he wouldn’t have been out. I still felt horrible, the dreams were getting worse.

‘You dreamt again, didn’t you?’

‘Yes.’ I started to cry again. Yes, Gerard was safe but it felt real. Like I was in the room. The blood beneath my feet, the piecing screams.

‘Shh… baby, calm down. It’d okay.’

‘I don’t want to be here… I don’t want to be alone.’ I pressed the phone harder against my ear, needing to feel like Gerard was with me. Holding me.

‘Do you want me to come get you?’ He asked, obviously weighing the dangers of moving me from the hospital and leaving me there.

‘Yes.’ I whispered.

‘I won’t be long, okay? Just stay calm. I love you.’ He hung up before I could answer. I moved out of my bed, sitting back down in the corner of the room. The light from the hall shined on me through the crack in the door.
I felt better in the light. Being able to see around me. I could hear a nurse doing her rounds, trying to be quiet but it wasn't working.
I leant my head back against the wall, watching the ceiling. It was just plain white, which strangely comforted me. I guess it was the lack of red, the lack of blood.
I started to sing in my head, anything to get the images out. I couldn’t think of a happy song. Only songs of death and revenge.

‘Frankie?’ Gerard’s voice rang through the silence. I hadn’t heard the door open, nor had I heard him walk closer to me. He was squatted down in front of me. I threw my arms around his neck and pulled myself up against him.

‘Told you I would dream.’ I whispered against his chest. He arms pulled me closer, holding me still from shaking that I hadn’t really noticed.

‘Frankie… please, tell me what these dreams are about. I hate seeing you like this. It scares me.’ He whispered, tightening his grip on me.

‘You’ll think I’m stupid. I can’t. No.’ I shook my head violently.

‘Please, baby. I want to understand why they bring you down so far.’ I sighed and pulled away from his chest. I looked in his eyes, seeing the pain in the hazel orbs.
I sighed again and jumped into the explanation of the first dream. I told him how I felt, how it all felt so real and how much it hurt when I saw him in those situations. He kept quiet through it, holding me tighter when he heard something he didn’t like.
I finished the explanation on my most recent dream and waited for him to say something. He was staring at nothing, eyes glazed over.

‘I-I… see, I knew you’d think I was insane.’ I tried to pull myself away but he caught me and pulled me into his chest again. His grip was almost painful, too tight.

I dont know whether that dream is disturbing for anyone. it's kinda normal for me.... anyways, heres the next chapter. no more hospitals after Franks out. promise. i know i said that last time but this time, i swear on Gerard's like :) xox E