FicWad

"I love you."

It was a surprise how easy the words rolled off her tongue. They've been hidden in the deep caverns of her chest for so long. A bomb with an explosion only she had the control to trigger. One push and there was no stopping it. It crawled its way up to her throat until the words burst out of her mouth and suddenly she had the urge to shout it from the steepest mountaintop. Each echo emphasizing the phrase until it fades into one last, almost inaudible finale.

It was like an awakening to her. A feeling so strong that she doubted it would even compare to losing her virginity. Doesn't your first love work the same way? You can fall in love again, but it's only the first time that really matters.

"I love you, too," he whispered back, his body tangled with her's underneath his scarlet bed sheets.

Mae felt like her mind was in another realm of its own where absolutely nothing mattered but what she felt and what she wanted. The butterflies in her stomach had created hurricanes to take their places. She noticed how Frank's eyes had fallen into a trance-like gaze and she knew that her's had done the same.

There was a substitute that day for Mr. Betterby's class. A younger male teacher took his place and completely ignored his lesson plans. Instead of practicing L'Hopital's Rule, the class was asked a series of questions based on their plans for the future. Mae had the hardest time answering the last question: "Where do you want to be in 10 years?" 10 years was no joke. It wasn't like another round of high school where you try out new styles, find your strengths and weaknesses, discover who your true friends are, and get your heart broken for the first time. 10 years was a transformation. In 10 years, she could be married, have kids, or living independently in her own apartment somewhere on the other side of the country. There were many things that could happen in 10 years, but in that course of time what would she want to happen? It's one thing to have an expectation, it's another thing to have a plan, but it's a whole different situation when you throw in what you want. Mae just scribbled down a fake answer about being financially stable and leading a happy life, but she failed to answer the very first part of the question. Where?

It wasn't until now did she find the true answer. In 10 years, there was nowhere else she'd like to be than in a comfy bed intoxicated with a million feelings with her body wrapped around someone who made her feel secure. Her very own anchor that would keep her from being sucked into that tornado of anguish and self-destruction. Someone who would keep her feet on the ground, but had a way of lifting her spirits. Someone who would know exactly when to hold her back and when to let her go.

Mae wasn't sure how long she had been lying in bed with him because, for once, her mind forgot that time existed. Since the last minute she kept track of, she had spent the day exploring the feel of Frank's palms against her's. How his kisses felt like on her collarbone and how the hot air of his whispers tickled the inside of her ears. She felt a sort of completeness from his touch. As if she had been walking around with half a heart for her whole life and only recently became aware of what she had been missing.

"I think I'm ready now," Mae told Frank who hovered above her, resting on his elbows. She tucked a loose lock of his hair behind his ear so she could get the full effect of his haunting eyes.

"You think?" Frank asked. "Are you sure?"

"I mean I know I'm ready," Mae corrected. "And I haven't been so sure of that until now."

Mae kissed his neck invitingly, but he didn't make a move. She waited a moment for him to take the next step and even checked the clock only to confirm that they had more than enough time.

"Frank, I'm ready," Mae repeated. "I love you."

Frank smiled down at her and kissed her forehead. He kissed both of her shoulders before planting another peck on her chin. Then, surprisingly, he broke apart from her arms.

"Let's not do this now," Frank mumbled, scooting up to the edge of the bed and sitting up.

"I don't get you, Frank," Mae frowned. "You snap at me when I stop you and when I tell you it's okay, you push me away."

"I told you that I was upset that day," Frank argued. "I didn't mean it. We shouldn't be doing this."

"Why not?" Mae pushed. "Because I'm not as attractive as Heather?"

"This has nothing to do with her," Frank said through his teeth.

"Then tell me why," Mae sat next to him.

"Because you don't know what you're getting into," Frank muttered as he left the room.

*

Finally, she had him where she wanted him. After years of being "close friends," Lydia finally invited Bob to her house for the first time. They had a history together; starting in eighth grade when Lydia had to change her class schedule so she could be a teacher's aide for her history teacher. She ended up in a science course with Bob and the rest just seemed to fit in place.

Of course, everyone around them asked whether they were dating because they would often be walking to class together or hanging out at lunch. For a year, Lydia convinced herself that there would be nothing but friendship between them. Yet, those bold blue eyes were hard to deny. The more time they spent together, the more noticeable his features became. Besides the blond locks and the sky colored eyes, Lydia fell in love with his tough guy demeanor. He was a step away from being the bully if it weren't for his charming nature. From afar, he seemed as if he would have the deepest voice but, in actuality, he had a much more soothing tone. He surprised Lydia to no end and instantly won her over by the end of freshman year. If only she could've done the same to him.

Her high school friendship with Bob proved to be the hardest years of her life. Suddenly, there were beautiful girls left and right since he dropped a lot of weight over the summer. Lydia couldn't help but to be envious of some of the girls Bob dated because she was the one who saw through the extra weight in middle school. She never even thought he was fat although everyone around her would tell her different. She always thought he was perfect and she couldn't believe that he pushed that perfection even more in the following years.

"I've always imagined you to have a bright yellow room," Bob commented as he stepped into her simple room complete with beige walls.

It had a feminine air to the place especially with the brightly colored stuffed animals decorated on the shelves and the bed. The lacy white curtains embroidered with flowers suited her style well, but everything else seemed a bit bland. Every piece of furniture had more simple and safe colors of white, pale peach, or cream.

"I guess I've never been one to over decorate," Lydia shrugged as she invited him in.

Bob couldn't help but to picture bright walls to compliment such a stunning person. Lydia could be so bubbly when she wanted, but could also tone it down just right for more serious situations. She was a huge romantic so he wasn't surprised to find a whole stack of romance novels under her desk, but he knew that her room could never have been spacious enough to contain her personality.

He glanced at her desk and noticed a few stray papers scattered about. The penciled graph caught his eye immediately.

"I didn't know you know you were a math genius," Bob pointed out, grabbing the sheet of paper and attempting to interpret it.

"Mae showed me that at lunch," Lydia explained. "I didn't know calculus could be tied to Alice in Wonderland."

"What?!" Bob exclaimed. "Okay, now I actually want to know what this means."

"It's some rule by this french guy named Hospital or something," Lydia failed to remember L'Hopital's Rule. "And it's this equation with limits and infinity and going to zero."

"Um . . .okay," Bob had no idea what she meant.

"Anyways," Lydia tried to get to the point. "When you graph that rule you get two lines that intersect and make a sort of crescent."

"And this is related to a childhood movie how?" Bob raised an eyebrow.

"You know how the Cheshire Cat still had his grin before he fully disappeared?" Lydia asked.

"Yeah."

She tilted the paper until the crescent became a wide grin.

"Before the lines disappear, they make a grinning shape," Lydia took a pencil from her desk and drew vertical lines across the curves to give teeth to the creepy smile.

"Wow," Bob replied as he stared at the equations Mae had written on the margins of the paper. "I didn't know math could be so interesting."

"Maybe it's only interesting if an interesting person explains it you," Lydia mused.

"Well, that makes you the most interesting person I've ever met," Bob smiled.

"I got it from Mae," Lydia blushed.

"But she wasn't the one who explained it to me, was she?" Bob countered.

He was such a smart ass sometimes, Lydia thought, but that was another thing she loved about him. It was actually harder to think of things she didn't love about him. She even found some of his bad habits amusing. Like how he chewed on his left thumb nail when he was nervous or how he had terrible table manners. How he rarely ever apologized or how he sometimes didn't know his own strength. There was only one thing she hated about him; that no matter how long it has been she still didn't know exactly what he thought about her.

*

Frank was outside smoking one of his mother's cigarette while Mae waited patiently for him in his room. She knew he drank and smoked now and then, but he never did it when she was around. She couldn't help but to feel somewhat awkward about it. He was making snappy remarks again and Mae knew that something was bothering him. She already forgave him before he even stepped out of the room because she had no doubt that she did love him.

He was taking much longer than she'd imagined and, as she peeked out the window, she could tell that he was planning to smoke the entire pack. Something was definitely wrong and it was big. She placed her hands on his bedside desk for support as she got up. Before she could leave, she heard a small metallic tink! She had knocked something off of it.

Between her toes, a beautiful golden ring shone in the afternoon sunshine. There was a small cursive engraving on the inside too small to read from Mae's distance. She didn't hesitate to pick it up to get a closer look.

Frank and Heather Iero

A wedding band. Mae went completely frozen and her mind went blank just from overloading on a million thoughts in such short time. Frank was married?

*

There was no else in the house and she was going against house rules by having a member of the opposite sex in her bedroom alone. There was nothing like a little risk to spice things up. Lydia knew that it was what made their first kiss that much more amazing. She could feel the tingle of broken rules on her lips.

It was really out of nowhere. Almost like out of a movie. She was talking on and on about whatever first popped in her mind and he nodded his head, smiling and pretending like he wanted to listen. Her habit of getting too frantic in her speech around a crush got the best of her. It was that moment when Bob decided to shut her up with a kiss.

"It took you long enough," Lydia teased, lacing her fingers together on the back of his neck.

"I thought you were gonna make the first move, Miss Romantic," Bob placed his hands firmly around her hips.

"The first rule of all romantic clichés is that the guy is supposed to make the first move," Lydia said matter-of-factly.

"Is that so?" Bob grinned as he pulled her closer.

"Busted!"

They both jumped in surprise as Ray stood in the doorway with his arms folded.

"Is Mom here?" Lydia asked in a whisper.

"Nope," Ray leant against the doorframe.

"You scared me, asshole!" Lydia was rushed with a sense of relief.

"I'm the last person in the world you should be insulting right now, Lydia Marie," Ray dropped her middle name just to spite her.

"I should go," Bob cut in. "I'll see you at school, Lydia."

"Alright," Lydia sighed.

She followed him to the front door and, before he could step out, she grabbed his wrist and kissed him on the cheek, knowing fully well that Ray was behind her watching.

"I won't say anything to Mom," Ray began.

"Good," Lydia snapped.

"For a price," Ray smirked.

"Name it," Lydia rolled her eyes.

"My chores for the whole month," Ray offered.

"Done," Lydia had no better choice. "Now leave me alone."

"Well, actually, I was wondering if you could call up your friend, Mae, for me," Ray added.

"What?!" Lydia eyed him suspiciously. "She's not your type, your age, and to top it off she's got a boyfriend already."

"That's not what I meant, idiot," Ray scoffed. "I need to tell her something important."

"About?"

"Don't be nosy."

As if by cue, the phone rang. Ray extended his longer arms to grab the phone before Lydia.

"Gerard," Ray acknowledged the speaker. "I was just gonna have Lydia call her."

Lydia stood unmoving by his side. Her hands were on her hips, waiting for an explanation.

"I need to tell her something about Frank," Ray revealed.

"What about him?!" Lydia exclaimed.

"Shhhh!" Ray glared at her. "Yeah, if you get a hold of her before I do, let me know."

As Ray hung up the phone, Lydia followed him to his room.

"She's my friend," Lydia stated. "If there's something going on with her boyfriend that isn't right, I should know, too. She'll believe it more coming from me than she will coming from you."

"Fine," Ray agreed after careful consideration.

*

"You have no fucking business going through my shit," Frank hissed as he tossed his finished cigarette aside on the concrete floor.

"I didn't have to go through anything!" Mae defended herself. "You stupidly had it lying around on your desk like I would never see it!"

"Don't talk to me like you know all about my life," Frank sneered, smoking escaping from the corners of his lips as he spoke.

"But that's just it, Frank!" Mae admitted. "I don't and I want to know who you are!"

"No, you don't," Frank shook his head. "You really don't."

"You married Heather?" Mae stared wistfully at the ring resting on her open palm.

"No," Frank denied, taking the ring from her outstretched hand. "I didn't."

"But you were engaged to her?" Mae asked.

"Yeah," Frank nodded.

"Frank, what is going on?" Mae was exhausted from all of the complications.

"You should go home now," Frank waved her off. "You're not supposed to be here."

He turned his back to her and went inside without looking back. Mae felt something inside her collapse before she had to use every ounce of strength left in her to keep herself from crying. The coldness and the thick skin she developed from Mikey had come in handy. With all the dignity she could muster, she clenched her fists and began to walk the long walk home. She was thankful for her long nails that pierced her palms as she squeezed. It put a halt to the tears that were more than ready to make their suicidal leap.

*

Gerard was worried. He had sat on the porch outside of his house with the summer heat burning down on him for the last hour just so he could be there when Mae arrived. He knew that it had been way past the time she usually came home. Seeing her composure as she trudged up the steep hill to her home literally broke his heart.

"Mae," Gerard said softly as he ran up to meet her.

"I'm sorry, Gerard," Mae's voice cracked as she spoke. "I should've listened to you."

"Ray told me about him," Gerard held her as she fell into his arms. "We've been trying to contact you all day."

"I'm so stupid," Mae mumbled. "I feel so stupid."

"You're not stupid, Mae," Gerard led her back to his house.

"I told him I loved him today," Mae confessed.

"Wow," Gerard didn't realize she felt that strongly for Frank.

But then again, it hardly took him long to realize that he had fallen in love with Lexi. It took him much longer to realize that she never felt the same way. For someone to get through Mae's cautious nature, Gerard had to give it to Frank. Mikey hadn't even scratched her surface while Frank got underneath her skin and into her blood stream until he stole her heart and threw it out of her body.

"I can't believe he didn't tell me that he was engaged to her," Mae sniffled.

"Engaged?" Gerard questioned.

"Yeah, I found the ring," Mae elaborated. "Wait . . . what did Ray tell you?"

"Mae," Gerard sat her down on the couch as he weighed her shoulders down with his hands. "Frank got Heather pregnant."