FicWad

Mae frowned at her latest test score. The school year was coming to a close and, within a couple of weeks, she would no longer be considered a highschooler. She made the goal to end her senior year with straight A's, but she wasn't sure if that goal was even reachable anymore. Her grades have been dwindling ever since her break up, if she could even call it that. There was never an official specification between them that they were no longer together. They just sort of stopped talking. Or more like they stopped acting like they knew each other.

She couldn't help but wonder if it was killing him inside to try to pretend as if the last couple of months hadn't happen. It embarrassed her to imagine him not giving a damn that he no longer had her when all she could do was muster enough pride to ignore him back. She wanted him so bad that sometimes all she wanted to do was go up to him and ask if they could talk things over. But she was much too proud to do it.

Her test paper was suddenly ripped to shreds impulsively by her nervous hands. She had made a mistake while doing the Chain Rule. She forgot to take the derivative of the number inside the parenthesis and it was the one thing Mr. Betterby always emphasized. "Don't forget the inside!" Mae had to laugh at her own mistake. This wasn't the first time she had made it. Sure, she remembered to do the Power Rule to the exponent outside of the parenthesis, but she forgot the inside. After all, it's always much easier to notice the outside skin of things, but it was much more difficult to see underneath that layer of skin. Maybe Frank's good looks just fooled her into thinking she was in love. It made him seem like an angel to her eyes and distracted her from seeing the demons within. She tossed the remains of her paper into her wastebasket and swore not to make another Chain Rule accident again.

Besides, there was much more to worry about that night than shitty test grades. Prom was a day away and she had everything she needed. She loved her classic red dress. It was simple, but vibrant; a glossy cherry fabric held up by two tiny straps and stopping short just above her knees. She bought some glittery chandelier earrings for a more formal touch. Her heels were the same matching red with bows going across her toes. She even studied a couple of teen magazines for hair and make up tips. All that was missing was her date.

Well, technically, she had one. She's had a guaranteed date ever since she was a freshman. Gerard promised to take her to her senior prom if she didn't have a date by then. She felt a little pathetic to have to take his offer. It was just like going to prom with an older brother. She always boasted to him that she would find her own date, but she had no energy left to search for the perfect beau. She already had a taste of what it was like to find one.

There was still a big part of her that wanted to know the rest of the truth that was Frank's past. All she knew were the bits and pieces of all the horrible parts. It was like having a jigsaw puzzle of a brutal murder scene and having only the portions of the blood and weapons. It was still a mystery about who killed who or if there was even a murder at all. Maybe it was all a big sick joke. She had been praying for it to all just turn out to be a cruel prank. She promised she would be the loudest to laugh if it were.

*

Frank believed in ghosts. But he never thought it would be possible to be haunted by someone who was still alive. Heather was off somewhere, possibly on the other side of the country if she even lived in the same country at all. Maybe she moved off to a whole new continent to start over and pursue all the things he so was hungry for. All he wanted was a new life in a new city, but the same old memories he tried to run away from never seemed to be too far behind.

He ruined his life before and, just when everything seemed to be working out again, it all collapsed on him like a tower of blocks. He liked his new school. He liked the new city. He liked his new friends and he loved his new girlfriend. But she was more like his new ex-girlfriend now. He always imagined what it would've been like to take her to prom. They talked about it a few times. How he was going to buy a black suit with a red tie to match her dress. How she was going to slow dance for the first time in her life. He missed those conversations and he felt as if he could trade in his whole prom night just to have another conversation about prom with her.

She was different and that just made his whole move complete. A total opposite of Heather, but that was exactly what he was looking for. She was unconventionally beautiful and it took his breath away. He loved the awkwardness in her movements and the way her eyelids tilted whenever she laughed. He loved how she bit her bottom lip when she was nervous or unsure. But mostly, he loved her intelligence in subjects like poetry, art, and even her cute little mathematical mistakes.

Heather was a logical science lover which was her greatest strength and also her greatest flaw. She was good at knowing the facts. She always wrote the best thoroughly researched essays in her whole biology class and she had ambitions in the medical field. But her logical brain took toll on her creativity. She was often sarcastic when it came to discussions on art or literature. Frank found her comments hilarious but after awhile they became irritating and sometimes even insulting. She was his first and only love at the moment and that was why he accepted her every flaw. And deep down inside, he still missed her more than anything.

Frank was not looking forward to prom at all. He said yes to the first girl who asked and it just so happened to be Chloe Harper, the Homecoming Queen. No doubt she was one of the most beautiful girls in the school, but he had his heart set on taking Mae. But he understood why she wouldn't want someone like him. A boy who carried too many regrets on his back.

He looked at his closet at the black and red suit he bought just last week. He didn't ask Chloe what color her dress would be and he didn't care to find out. He got that suit for a reason. Just in case . . .

*

"Hey Beautiful," Gerard teased as Mae walked down the stairs all dolled up for prom.

"Hey there, Handsome," Mae played along, twirling her hair for effect.

She did slightly resemble a doll with her lengthened eyelashes and pink blushed cheeks. The red lipstick suited her and went well with her hair in loose black curls. Though she was a bit uncomfortable in her new heels, she looked like a different person. Gerard didn't do too much, but he did have a clean and pressed black and red suit to match her clothes. He even tidied up his hair and cut it a bit. They exchanged their corsage and boutonniere made from beautiful red roses. It was so traditional and cheesy that they nearly burst out laughing about it all.

After posing for thousands of pictures at home and smiling so widely that their jaws felt as if they were going to fall off, it was finally time to get to prom. Mae wasn't exactly thrilled to be going in Gerard's Subaru, but she wasn't the type to throw a fit over a limo she couldn't get. She giggled, thinking of going in Frank's LeSabre. She imagined him turning on the ignition and getting hit full blast by those fumes and almost getting into an accident while he drives on the downhill street where the parking lot would be.

"You look happy," Gerard commented, noticing Mae's thoughtful grin. "And you haven't even seen the surprise yet."

"Surprise?" Mae asked, but Gerard didn't have to say a word as the huge white stretch limo parked right in front of them. "Oh my God."

"You didn't think I was going to take you in my car, did you?" Gerard raised an eyebrow.

"Oh good," Mae joked.

"Yeah, I don't need you getting my baby dirty so I decided to rent something and this was the cheapest I could find at such short notice," Gerard opened the door for her.

"First of all, I can't believe you referred to your car as 'baby' and second of all, you hate driving," Mae shook her head.

"Just get in, Cinderella," Gerard chuckled.

She had never been inside a limo before and neither had he. Gerard didn't go to his senior prom because it was around the time of his break up with Alexia. Which made Mae wonder whether Frank would still go to prom and, if he did, who would he go with?

"You okay?" Gerard rubbed her shoulder, taking her out of her thoughts.

"Yeah," Mae muttered, feeling incredibly stupid for letting Frank into her mind again.

"Are you sure?" Gerard persisted.

Mae hesitated before she finally asked, "Gerard, how do you know when you've fallen in love with someone?"

"Uh . . .," Gerard was suddenly caught off guard with such a heavy question. "Why are you asking me?"

"Because I know you loved her," Mae decided to leave Alexia's name out of it.

"It's hard to describe," Gerard began. "But when it happens, you just kinda know."

"How do you know it's not just your mind playing tricks on you?" Mae wondered.

"Actually that's a lot like how it feels," Gerard explained. "Your mind does play tricks on you. It tricks you into contradicting yourself. It's like you do things you once said you'd never do or feel things you thought you'd never feel. If that makes sense."

"Yeah," Mae drifted off.

Of course, it made sense. It was exactly how she felt at that moment. It's how she had been feeling for months. Gerard could see the realization in her eyes and sympathized with her. He knew she was hurting on the inside and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

*

Chloe Harper was glowing in her elegant pink gown and her honey blond curls flowing softly on her back. She was made up from pedicure to hairdo to the very last eyelash extension. Frank could see the pure excitement in her sparkling blue eyes that were so similar to Heather's he couldn't stand to look at them for long. She took his gesture as one of affection and giggled madly at his cute shyness.

It was awkward meeting the Harper family when he hardly knew Chloe herself. They loved Frank and Mrs. Harper kept complimenting on what a beautiful pair they made. Mr. Harper shook his hand approvingly and gave him a brief tour of their big beautiful home. They were so wealthy that Frank was embarrassed of barely having enough money to chip in for the limo but it would have been much more embarrassing to have to take her in his car.

When they arrived to the venue of the prom which was in a fairly decent hotel, the whole scene made Frank feel like he was in an entirely different world. The room the school's prom committee rented was a huge dining hall with a DJ booth and dance floor in the middle. It was lavishly decorated from the ice sculptures to the red and white rose petals scattered onto the floor and tables. Definitely far from the cheap balloons and streamers he imagined from the movies. The whole hall seemed as if it were made out of gold with the crystal chandeliers shedding its bright yellow lights all over each wall.

"Chloe!"

A tall and skinny brunette in an emerald green dress came scurrying over to her best friend. It was Jessica Sanders, the senior class president.

"Jessica!" Chloe engulfed the girl into her arms.

"Where's your date?" Jessica looked around, seemingly right through Frank.

"Right here," Frank reluctantly raised a hand.

"You're not matching?" Jessica's eyes went back and forth Chloe's and Frank's attires.

"We kinda forgot to coordinate," Chloe shrugged.

"Oh well," Jessica waved it off. "Matching is so corny, anyways."

Frank raised an eyebrow at Jessica's hypocritical comment as she pulled her own matching date toward them. His name didn't even get through Frank's ears as he was too lost in his own thoughts to care. He looked around at the crowd of multicolored suits and dresses. There were quite a lot of guys wearing white tuxes and the popular colors with the girls were white and red. Just his luck. Every time he saw a flash of red, he wondered whether or not it was Mae. He never turned completely around for fear of her catching his watchful eyes.

Mae and Gerard entered the prom almost an hour late. Their limo driver got caught in traffic after getting lost twice. They had quite the journey there as they shouted directions back and forth with their driver, but upon seeing the venue they were just relieved that they made it. Mae scanned the scene, taking every lavish design in slowly and appreciatively. She had never been to an event so beautiful and formal. Gerard smiled as he waited patiently for her to take it all in, unknown to the fact that she was also hoping for a glimpse of Frank.

"Please don't ask me to dance now," Gerard muttered.

"I'm not," Mae rolled her eyes. "I'm starving! Let's eat first."

They found a middle table for four and assumed the two seats would remain unoccupied until Bob and Lydia found them. Lydia wore an eye-catching yellow dress and Bob matched her with a black suit and yellow tie. They looked cute together and Mae didn't need to ask whether they were finally a couple; they were absolutely glowing. Mae wondered whether if she and Frank ever looked that way to other people.

"So are you guys together?" Lydia asked, waving her fork from Mae to Gerard.

"Hell no!" Gerard and Mae exclaimed together, causing Bob and Lydia to burst out laughing.

"Incest is illegal," Gerard stated matter-of-factly.

"Ditto," Mae agreed.

"I didn't think you took that brother and sister thing that seriously," Bob shrugged.

"I wouldn't be caught dead taking Ray to prom," Lydia added.

"Thanks," Mae replied sarcastically.

"Sorry," Lydia apologized. "Is Frank even here?"

"Haven't seen him," Bob shook his head.

"Good," Gerard scoffed.

"Bad . . .," Lydia nudged toward the table in the back where Frank and Chloe sat.

Gerard caught the sadness in Mae's eyes as she watched Chloe laugh and grab Frank's arm, pulling him closer to her as if to claim him as her own. He felt the need to intervene somehow. Just so he could distract her for even a second.

"Come on," Gerard took her hand and led her to the dance floor.

"I thought you didn't want to dance," Mae said as she was literally dragged across the room.

"Changed my mind," Gerard shrugged.

It wasn't until then that Frank saw Mae. She brought Gerard with her and he had no choice but to keep away from her. Chloe caught him staring off onto the dance floor and asked him to dance with her. He reluctantly accepted and they ended up circling Gerard and Mae over and over.

Mae seemed to see Frank and Chloe after every song. They made just as good a couple as he did with Heather. She was a little taller than him with her heels on but they seemed alright. Frank didn't look miserable but he didn't look happy either. It was odd to Mae because Frank's expressions used to be so easy to read. She knew she would be able to tell by his eyes but she wasn't bold enough to stare them down. Maybe she was just afraid of what she might've seen.

Frank was looking at Mae from the corner of his eye. He wasn't sure whether she was looking back at him or pretending he was just another kid at the prom. Chloe was talking to him about something but he just nodding and smiling, not having a clue or a care what she was babbling about. He wanted to know how Mae was. Whether she was angry or hurting or, worse, not caring about him at all.

Mae couldn't help it. She thought Frank looked so good in his suit with his hair slicked back. She was so attracted to him that she didn't know whether that meant she loved him or she was just lusting for him. Gerard kept twirling her around and shifting her body so she wouldn't have to face him. She somewhat felt annoyed by his actions because all she wanted was to get a better view of Frank.

Frank didn't care that he was dancing with the Homecoming Queen and that Chloe turned down every guy who asked her for a dance. He couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful Mae looked that night. He felt like dropping Chloe and asking Mae for a dance. If only she hadn't brought Gerard. He was slowly trying to gather enough courage to talk to her.

What hurt them both was that prom night was such a romantic event. It was as if they couldn't have broken up at a more awful time. Mae wondered what it would have been like if Frank was dancing with her. Frank tried to picture Mae's head on his chest as they moved slowly to all the corny love songs. They could've been the couple who didn't dance much. Just sitting at their table talking and laughing and staring into each other's eyes. They could've been dancing less than a foot away but it felt as if they were on different islands. As if there was some kind of interference between them and they were desperate for some form of communication.

Finally, they locked eyes. It was a prolonging stare. Each one afraid to keep looking but also afraid to turn away. Mae was the first one to break it. She blinked and felt her eyes beginning to tear up. Why was she so attached to him? Why did she care so much? She just wanted to move on, again, like she did with Mikey. But it was much easier to hold a grudge against Mikey than it was to let Frank go.

"Hey . . . ," Gerard wiped the streams of tears from her eyes with his thumbs. "Let's go outside for some air."

The stinging cold wind did not help Mae breathe at all. Especially with her short red dress, she was just shivering partly from the weather and partly from some other confused side of her. Gerard had put his jacket around her shoulder but it did nothing for her freezing legs. It made her think of the time Frank gave her his hoodie at the library after the terrifying drive there. She still had it and sometimes she wore it to sleep. It never failed to keep her warm.

"I know how you feel," Gerard's words became frozen fog as he spoke. "I know what it's like to trust someone so much and, then all of sudden, you find out that they've been lying to you all along."

"Frank didn't lie to me," Mae realized.

"But he didn't tell you the truth either," Gerard countered.

"I still don't even know the whole truth," Mae said in frustration. "All I want is for him to come clean."

"And would you be able to accept whatever he's done?" Gerard asked.

"I don't know," Mae shook her head. "I guess it depends."

"On what?"

"On whether or not I love him."

They were strong words that Gerard couldn't take lightly. He believed that Mae was genuinely in love with the boy but sometimes the one you fall in love with doesn't always fall back. He knew that firsthand and he didn't want Mae to go through the same fate. For a girl who was once so skeptical of romanticism and who became so cold after being betrayed once, she sure contradicted herself too many times.

"Do you want to go back inside?" Gerard tried to change the subject.

"No," Mae stared off into the night sky.

She was still shivering. Her legs felt numb but, for some reason, she couldn't bring herself to go back to her prom. Her feet felt glued to the ground because, in her head, all she wanted was to get out of the cold and continue to at least have a decent evening. But something was keeping her there.

"You're shaking," Gerard tugged on her arm for her to follow him back.

"I don't want to go," Mae said through her teeth.

"Mae, you're not making sense," Gerard insisted.

"I said I don't want to go!" Mae exclaimed.

"Mae!"

Gerard and Mae turned to see Frank walking over to them. Gerard wondered how much Frank had heard of their conversation. Frank got as close to Mae as he could get with Gerard protectively blocking her as if he was carrying a life threatening weapon.

"Can I talk to her real quick?" Frank asked Gerard.

"You can talk to her right now," Gerard snapped. "I'm not leaving."

"I kinda need to tell her this in private," Frank placed a hand on Gerard's folded arms as to suggest him to move.

"You had your chance to do that before," Gerard hit his hand away.

"Mae," Frank tried to get her attention as she seemed to be mesmerized by the full moon. "Mae, I'm sorry."

He wasn't sure if she was listening to him. Her eyes stayed transfixed upwards.

"It just hurts to talk about it," Frank continued. "I just wanted to start over when we moved. In a new city with new friends and a new life."

Mae finally faced him, "That's where you're wrong, Frank. You can't have a new life."

"I know," Frank conceded. "I just wanted to try."

"You can't pretend to have a new life by ignoring your past," Mae added. "You only have one life and you have to live with the mistakes you've made. Pretending they never happened doesn't make them disappear."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Frank pleaded. "I haven't told anyone else here. I know it was stupid but every time I talk about what happened it kills me."

"But you haven't talked about it, yet," Mae argued.

"Because I can't," Frank begged her to understand. "I just want us to start over."

"There you go, again," Mae smiled harshly. "There's no starting over, Frank. We can only go from where we left off or maybe we can just pretend we never happened."

"What do you want to do?" Frank asked.

"I want to trust you, again," Mae said simply as she walked past Gerard and made her way back inside.

Frank was supposed to be meeting Chloe soon and it dreaded him to think of spending the rest of his prom night with someone other than Mae. When he saw her, he made some lame excuse about feeling sick and he ended up calling home from a payphone so Bill could pick him up. He knew Chloe was going to hate him for it, but she wasn't the first girl he let down. Mae was right. There was nothing more he wanted than to just pick up from the giant cliffhanger where they had left off.