FicWad

Author's Note: I'm still on a roll ;)

THANK YOUS
doyleangel: Sorry to break it to you, but a "no one gets hurt" situation is pretty much impossible at this point. Everyone's in far too deep for that.

If I could go to a TAI meet&greet, I would have done the same. lol.

somethingorother: Aww, thanks for trying to rate. I have no idea what's going on with ficwad, but something's wrong with it.

Yep. Chloe's slowly moving forward. But that doesn't mean she's getting over Alex anytime soon.

The firepit sounds awesome. And it reminds me that I'm supposed to go out to the suburbs for a bonfire soon.

You waited 5 hours for Harry Potter? Daaang. That's dedication.

tryingtohard_x: Haha. No, I'm not eating dictionaries for lunch. Just breaking out of my shell of laziness.

At this point, I'm all about conflict. Paul vs. Alex. Battle to the death. Only not really. lol.

Your situation at Decaydance fest sounds like what my bff and I did. We were dumb and only brought candy to eat while in line for 9 hours.

chocolatechortle22: lol. Team Paul, I see.

lyrical_lies: Yep. Paul's a keeper at this stage. He's exactly what Chloe needs right now.

ash360: Alex is a mess. It's okay to feel bad for him.

I've yet to see Paramore, live but 4 hours sounds like a reasonable amount of time to wait for tickets.


STORYTIMEEE.

“You guys played a great set tonight,” I said, following the boys of BLG back to the bus.

“You say that after every show we play,” Paul replied, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

I chuckled, but a bout of high-pitched laughter brought me away from my thoughts. Shifting my attention to All Time Low’s bus, I noticed the source of the utterly annoying sound. Alex was trailing behind the rest of the guys, shamelessly making out with a groupie.

As they stumbled onto the bus, I couldn’t help but feel jealous.

Yes, I hated Alex for what he did.
Yes, I hated Alex for what he was doing.
Yes, I hate him in general.

I’d never been the jealous type before, but a tiny part of me felt like I still had a claim on him.

Yes, I know it’s stupid.

Paul quickly gauged my expression and hugged me tighter to his side. I looked up at him with a sad smile and kept walking. When we reached the bus, we all headed straight for our bunks.

Exhausted, I didn’t even bother to change out of my clothes. Instead I just slipped my jeans off and crawled underneath the sheets. But despite the fact that I was tired as hell, I couldn’t stop thinking about how Alex was already moving on.

In the morning, we stopped at McDonalds for breakfast. Walking in through the doors, I was greeted with the sound of high pitched laughter once again. At a table in the corner, Alex and the same groupie from the previous night were cracking up over God knows what.

I let out a sigh and clenched my teeth as I looked up at the breakfast menu. Paul noted my apprehension and took my hand into his.

“What are you gonna get?” he asked.

“I’m not really hungry…”

“Well you need to get something. You’re getting skinnier than I am,” he joked.

Although he wasn’t being serious, he had a point. Instead of bingeing when I’m depressed, I tend to eat a lot less than usual. Since moving onto the BLG bus, I’ve lost around 10 pounds.

“I guess I could get Breakfast Burritos,” I said, not wanting him to worry. “What are you gonna get?”

“Probably the Big Breakfast Platter.”

Eventually we made our way to the front of the line. While I sleepily nodded into Paul’s shoulder, he ordered our food. Yawning, I pulled a $5 from my pocket and gave it to him.

“I’ve got it, Chloe. Don’t worry about it,” he said, handing it back to me.

Shrugging, I stuffed it back into my pocket. Soon enough our food was on the counter, placed on a brown tray, and ready for pick up.

Looking around for a table, I definitely lost any trace of an appetite that I had. Alex and his new “friend” were practically swallowing each others faces.

“I think I’m gonna eat breakfast on the bus,” I said, turning to Paul. “I’ll catch up with you guys later…”

“I think I’ll join you. Watching that makes me want to puke,” he said setting our tray down and grabbing our food.

After telling Martin where we were going, Paul and I made our way back to the bus. Once there, I took a seat on the closest couch and started my breakfast. A few bites in, however, I set it down.

“You okay?” Paul asked looking over at me.

“Yeah, I’m just really not hungry…”

At this, he put his food down.

“Everybody back there thinks he’s a douche bag,” he said, knowing why I didn’t feel like eating. “When We The Kings gets there, Travis and Jess are going to kick his ass.”

I gave him a sad smile and ran my hands through my hair.

“Thanks.”

“No problem,” he said, pulling me into a side hug.

We silently sat like this for a little while—my head against his shoulder, his arm around my waist.

When I pulled away, our eyes locked, and it felt like we were moving in slow motion.

He leaned down, I leaned up.
Our noses grazed.
Our lips met.

The kiss was short, only lasting a few seconds before I pulled away.

“I’m sorry, Chloe,” he quietly said.

“No, it’s not that I don’t want to. I’ve actually been hoping that you would…It’s just—I don’t want you to be my rebound.”

“Then I won’t,” he said. I’ll be whatever you want me to be, Chloe. Whether that means we’re just friends or more than that. I just want you to smile like you used to.”

“But that’s not fair to you.”

“I don’t see it that way. ”

He laced his fingers with mine, making me feel even more guilty about everything. He’d gone all in, ready to lay his cards on the table, while I still had no idea what the fuck I wanted to.

On one hand, I could fold. Just give up on the idea that Paul and I would work. Settle on being friends rather than risking our current relationship.

Or I could match him and go all in. Throw caution to the wind and put my heart on the line. Cross my fingers and hope it all works out.

Looking up at Paul, I was met with guarded optimism. He was hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst. Unable to meet his gaze any longer, I averted my gaze to the floor.

The only way to find complete happiness is to be completely cut open.

Lots of Myspace users think that Jeffree star came up with this piece of wisdom. In truth, these words were quoted from Chuck Palahniuk’s ‘Invisible Monsters.’ In context, it referred to Miss Rona’s views on plastic surgery, but it’s clear that the words implied something that went deeper than skin.

There was no doubt in my mind that I’d fallen for Paul.
But I could say the same thing about Eric. About Alex.
I was sure that they could be trusted. That they wouldn’t hurt me.
And that naivety left me completely cut open, with happiness nowhere to be seen.

A soft sigh escaped my lips as I contemplated all of this.

“I’m sorry for making this so complicated,” he quietly said.

I glanced at him with sheer confusion spread across my face. There I was, potentially breaking his heart, and he was the one apologizing. It was fucking irrational.

Guys like Paul were supposed to have girlfriends that cared about them whole-heartedly. Not jaded fuck ups who can’t figure themselves out.

Despite this, I knew that I wanted him. It was selfish. It was wrong. It was totally unfair. But at this point, I was upside down, heart over head.

“Can you do me a favor?” I quietly asked.

“Just name it.”

“Hold me?”

He gently wrapped his arms around my waist while I rested my head against his chest.
And for the first time in 2 weeks, I felt like everything was going to be okay.

+++++
This chapter successfully converted all of Team Alex to Team Paul on mibba.
What about the readers of ficwad?
REVIEW with your answers.

Q&A #13: Who was you first celebrity crush?

The earliest one I can remember was Jonathan Taylor Thomas from Home Improvement. I thought he was the bees knees back in the day. lol.