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Chapter Thirty Six (Part Two) - The Bright Lights of America


Gerard was nervous, he always felt like this around people who had just lost someone. What do you say? That was always the big question. Somehow it was more difficult with people you really didn't know. He did like Jill, she had never done anything to make him doubt her intentions to Bob and she did make his friend so obviously happy.

"Relax dude," Mikey whispered in his ear.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Just a little," Mikey grinned,"Just be yourself."

"I hate this, I never know what to say," Gerard replied rubbing his face with both hands.

"Well that's a first, Gerard not knowing what to say," Frank laughed as Gerard scowled at him.

"Just tell her you were sorry to hear about her Dad," Mikey added.

"Right guys don't stand about waiting to jump on her, you'll give her a complex." Ray said as he grabbed his guitar and started to strum.

"You're right," Frank said grabbing a xbox controller, "Here Mikes," he said chucking it at Mikey.

"Thanks very much," Gerard said pouting, "What the fuck am I supposed to be doing?"

"Dunno," Frank laughed.

Gerard scrambled about the room as Bob's voice started to get closer much to the amusement of everyone else who listened to him continuely mutter, "Fuckers."

"Bob," Frank yelled as he appeared at the door, "Jill."

"Hey guys," Jill said nervously waving to them all.

Frank immediately crushed her in a hug, "Sorry to hear about your Dad."

"Thanks Frank." Jill replied softly.

Frank moved out of the way to let Ray and Mikey say their hello's.

"You fucker," Gerard mumbled to him, "You stole my line."

x------x

Jill sat watching them all as various people came in and out of the room to let them know about their schedule. Most of the day would be spent doing press before the show that night. Jill couldn't help but smile as she watched Bob grumbling away about the number of interviews they had to do. After spending a good period of time convincing him that she would be okay on her own, he eventually followed the other guys out of the room. Jill looked around the room and decided to start up the coffee machine. Her life just seemed to be going at 100 miles per hour at the moment. She had a brilliant day yesterday as she thought about all the places her and Bob had been. Pulling out her phone, she quickly dialled the number, remembering to put the international code in front of it. The call connected but no-one answered and just as she was about to leave a message it hit her. He would never be there to pick up the phone again, for that tiny moment she had forgotten. Jill cursed herself and shook her head. She breathed in deeply as she put her phone in her bag, "I love you dad and I know you'll be up there laughing at me right now."

Jill couldn't help but laugh, it was totally irrational but as the tears fell down her face she continued to giggle away to herself. "I miss you so much," she whispered as the laughter stopped and that dull ache returned in her chest.

Frank watched her as Jill sat looking out of the window. She appeared so sad with her arms wrapped tightly around her chest and her hair hiding her face. Uncertainty washed over him, he couldn't decide whether he should try and find Bob or if he should try to help. What if he upset her more? Taking a deep breath he walked into the room. Immediately she turned to look at him, the ever fixed smile suddenly appearing as she pushed the hair away from her face.

"Hey Frank, how's it going?"

"Peachy, " Frank replied, "I've escaped the hordes."

"You left Bob in a room on his own with journalists," Jill laughed, "Oh you'll be popular."

"Should I just hide?"

"mm, I would think emigrating might be easier," Jill responded as he sat down beside her.

"So Jill," Frank almost sighed.

"Do you want some coffee?" Jill replied getting up, "I just made some."

"Nah I'm alright," he responded watching her once again as she leapt out of the seat towards the coffee machine. Mikey always made sure that there had to be a coffee machine in the dressing room. Frank walked up to her, aware that she wouldn't look at him when he stood beside her.

"Are you okay Jill?" he asked softly.

"Yeah I'm fine," she answered.

"Are you sure?"

He was making it so hard for her, she didn't want to deal with it right now. It had happened she knew that, but speaking about it was just too difficult.

"Some days are just a bit hard," Jill finally said.

"I didn't upset you more did i?" Frank asked guiltily.

Jill looked at him, "No, I just don't want to burden everyone with me being all, well you know,"

"You are not a burden, "Frank replied, "We're all fuck ups, you only have to look at Gee to know that,"

Jill laughed as Frank grinned at her, "You calling me a fuck up Frank."

Frank was lost for words before he realised she was kidding him, "What I mean't is that we're all here for each other and if you need to scream, rant or cry, you have to do it."

"Thanks Frank."

"No problem, you gotta let it out," he replied.

"You read me too well, it's kinda scary," Jill remarked as she wiped the tears away from her eyes.

"Come here," Frank said as he hugged her.

Jilll let her head rest on his shoulder as she let the tears out. Frank glanced up towards the door to see Bob looking puzzled as he stared through the small window. Frank signalled him to come in. They didn't need to speak to each other as Frank gently passed her to Bob.

"What's wrong Jilly?" Bob asked.

Jill held on to him so tightly as she continued to cry.

"I was going to phone him and tell him all about yesterday and it just hit me," Jill said against his chest, "I know he's not there but for a moment I had forgotten."

"He'll always be with you Jill," Bob said.

"I'm sorry for getting all upset," she muttered as she pulled back from him and carefully wiped under her eyes, knowing she probably now resembled a panda,"it's just sometimes I can't control it."

Bob looked directly at her, "You don't ever have to hold anything back from me Jill, I mean that. It would break my heart if I thought you couldn't be yourself around me."

Jill nodded.

"Promise me Jill, promise me you'll always let me know if something is on your mind." Bob asked.

"I promise," she replied.

Jill rubbed her hand over her face as Frank walked back into the room with the other guys. Mikey immediately sat down on the other side of her, "How's it going?"

"Good, is that your press over?"

"Yep, no offence Jill but sometimes I hate doing interviews, especially when you get asked the same thing over and over again," Mikey replied.

"Or they clearly don't know anything about us," Gerard added.

"Or they just want to have a go," Mikey immediately said.

"Nah I like those ones," Frank replied, "It's more of a challenge."

"I need food," Mikey said changing the subject.

"We need to soundcheck again," Ray said turning away from his coversation with Bob.

"Yeah but I can't do it without some food." Mikey replied.

"Me neither, any of you guys wanting anything?" Frank asked.

When everyone shook their heads, Frank and Mikey skipped off to find food whilst reassuring Ray they would go immediately to soundcheck afterwards.

"Jill, Ray wants me to soundcheck again, something was off earlier, it's nice to be wanted," Bob said, "Will you be okay with Gerard, his head is stuck in that drawing book so he probably won't even notice you're here,"

"Sure," Jill answered, "It'll give me some time to write."

"I shouldn't be long," Bob replied before kissing her on the forehead and leaving the room.

Jill glanced up at Gerard when they were alone. His hand skimmed effortlessly across the page and his face was contorted in concentration. He would occassionally stop to survey his work before pushing another pencil behind his ear. With his head tilted down she could see the dark roots growing through. He looked so much better with dark hair. She suddenly snapped her head down as he looked up. It was her turn to feel watched as she scribbled on her pad.

"What ya doing?" he asked in that Jersey drawl she had become so used to.

"Nothing really," she replied finally looking at him and wishing he didn't intimidate her so much, "I mean, I'm trying to write but nothing is coming out."

"I know that feeling," Gerard replied, "Sometimes I know what I want to do like where the characters or a song should go but I get a block and it disappears,"

Jill knew if she ever had the chance to click with Gerard it would be over writing, "Do you mind if I take a look?"

"Not at all," he replied brushing the loose rubbish off the paper, "It's a bit shit and I haven't finished."

Jill couldn't believe he was actually nervous showing off his work, "Is this for your comic?"

"Yeah, I'm doing a series for Dark Horse, " he told her, "It's something I've dreamed of doing but now I'm not quite so sure."

She studied the drawings with arrows pointing to different descriptions hastily written and linking to a narrative scribled along the bottom. There was so much going on and it seemed so different from anything she had ever seen before, "This is so cool."

"Really? You're not just saying that?" he asked biting at the pencil in his mouth.

"I'm not a comic devotee or anything but I really like the look of it."

That was all he needed, before Jill had a moment to say anything else, he had pulled up a chair for her and was describing the vision for the series and the special nuances of each character. He suddenly stopped, "Fuck, you won't tell anyone will you?"

"I promise," Jill assured him.

"I just get carried away sometimes, I'm so excited about it all."

"I don't know how you fit it all in," Jill sighed feeling tired just thinking about it.

"That's my main problem, I should be out there helping with the final soundcheck but I have to get this finished. The guys are great about it and well Bob is the sound master plus being an insomniac helps." Gerard laughed.

"He looks so cool,"

"That's the Kracken, he's probably going to change a lot in appearance." Gerard confirmed pulling his sketches and notes of that character so she could see them better.

"Does he have like a super power or something?" Jill asked

"He can hold his breath indefinately and he's like the punk of the group, all reckless with a don't give a shit attitude, I love writing him. You can keep that if you want," Gerard suggested as he saw her picking up the sketch again.

"No I couldn't. do you not need it?" Jill replied surprised.

"Nah, Gabriel is actually illustrating the story, I just write and give him sketches."

"Are you sure?"

Gerard laughed slightly as he took the picture from her again, "I've written on it now, you have to keep it."

Jill looked at the picture and read the message.

"Thank you so much," she said happily as she hugged him.

"Ahem"

Gerard looked up and instantly recoiled from Jill, "Honey, you made it." He said springing up from his seat before crossing over to embrace her.

"In the nick of time I see," the girl added as she shot daggers at Jill.

"What do you mean, ahh," Gerard said looking back towards Jill, "You have it all wrong."

"Didn't look like that," she said sulking.

"This is Jill, " Gerard informed dragging her towards Jill, "You know BOB's Jill."

"Oh right," the girl flippantly remarked.

"Jill," Gerard said in a formal tone, "This is Eliza, my girlfriend."

Jill didn't miss the emphasis Gerard had felt he needed to add to let Eliza know who Jill "belonged" to, "Hey nice to meet you."

"Likewise, so good to finally put a face to the name." Eliza replied, "So what have you two been getting up to?"

"Gerard was showing me his drawings," Jill said feeling the need to justify why she was alone with him.

"Hey Gee, where is everyone?" Eliza said ignoring Jill's reply.

"Out soundchecking, I needed to finish up the storyline." Gerard replied.

"Not that comic again, come on Gerard, let's have some fun," she pleaded pulling the pencil from behind his ear and throwing it towards the table.

Jill could see he was in two minds, "I really need to finish the..."

"I travelled all this way and you don't want to see me, sometimes I think you don't care about me," Eliza told him.

"Alright, you want to go and see the guys?" he relented.

"Sure, Alicia was telling me Mikey badly needs a haircut so I need to check out that mop first," she laughed.

"You want to come Jill?" Gerard asked as Eliza continued to half drag him out of the room.

"Gerard come on," she pleaded.

"It's okay, I got to do some work," Jill said trying to sound convincing.

"See you later,"

Watching the way Gerard acted around Eliza, even just for that brief moment, had made her understand a little the way Frank felt towards her. Jill couldn't believe how strongly Frank felt and Bob had told her on a few occassions how different Gerard acted when she was around. She was definitely the dominant one which puzzled Jill considering how strong minded Gerard appeared to be most of the time.

x------x


"Jill, Jill honey,"

Jill opened her eyes to find Bob looking down at her, "I must have fallen asleep,"

"Sorry I had to wake you," Bob gently said as she sat up to let him sit beside her.

"Is your soundcheck all finished?"

"Yeah," Bob smiled hugging her close to him.

"Jamia!" Frank suddenly said in astonishment as he quickly crossed the floor to hug and kiss her.

"Frank, you knew I was coming," Jamia laughed.

"Technically yes but now you're here and I can drag you away," Frank replied grabbing her hand.

"Right now?"

"I want you now and if I have to throw you down on the floor I will," Frank playfully ordered.

"Time for us to leave, " Bob remarked as he stood up.

"I think so," Jill laughed.

"Frank get off me," Jamia said tickling him until her let her go.

"Don't mind him, you must be Jill,"

Jill swallowed hard as she looked at the girl in front of her, "Yes I am."

"Well these guys may not have any manners but I do," Jamia said as Frank stuck his tongue out at her," It's so good to finally meet you."

"You too," Jill smiled returning the hug.

"Hey do you want to grab something to drink," Jamia asked.

"That'd be great," Jill replied instantly warming to her.

"But Jamia?" Frank moaned.

"Frank, I'm sure you can do without me for an hour or so I want to get all the goss from Jill," Jamia said as she started to walk out of the room.

"You don't mind do you?" Jill asked Bob.

"Not at all," Bob replied, "Even if it does mean I'm left with a frustrated Frankie."


x------x

Jill walked with Jamia towards the makeshift catering area and was so pleased to find out how easy it was to talk to her.

"I don't think she likes me much,"

"Who?" Jamia asked turning to face her.

"Eliza," Jill whispered,"it's my fault."

"What happened?"

Jill sighed before explaining the awkward moment earlier with Gerard.

"Nah, I wouldn't worry about it," Jamia told her, "she won't have mean't it in the way you think she did, she's just really, umm how do I say this? possessive of him."

"I suppose it can't be easy,"

"You get used to it but you need to be able to trust the person you're with and when you have that, things are so much easier," Jamia explained, "that sounded bad, she has nothing to worry about in terms of Gerard but I think it wears him down constantly having to tell her that."

They both grabbed a coffee from the machine.

"Are you not getting anything to eat?" Jamia asked eyeing the plates of cakes and muffins.

"I'm okay," Jill responded sipping from the cup.

"I know I shouldn't, I'll feel like a pig eating something if you don't," she sighed.

"You're kidding right, there's nothing of you," Jill said, "Not that I really need much of an excuse to eat, I'm gonna have a muffin."

"Now I don't feel so bad," Jamia laughed as she scooped two on her plate for them. Jill couldn't help but notice that Jamia seemed to know everyone around them.

"Jill, I'm so pleased to finally meet you after all this time, " Jamia said as they sat down at the table.

"Good to meet you too, Frank always talks about you."

"I hope it was all good stuff because he sometimes never knows when to shut his mouth."

Jill laughed," then you put him with Gerard,"

"Exactly, it's like they revert to 12 year olds or something."

Jill instantly warmed to Jamia, she was so friendly and open.

"Frank was saying this was your first trip to America,"

"Yeah," Jill replied trying desperately to finish the mouthful she had just squashed in," Landing in New York was fab and Bob showed me around."

"Bob's a great guy," Jamia remarked, "He's so happy."

"You think so?" Jill asked hesitantly.

"Definitely, I think it's been quite hard for him with all the guys in couples, he'd never say anything but since he met you he just seems so much happer, he was driving Frank mental with the amount of time he spoke about you but did nothing about it."

"Really?"

"Yep, Frank said he had been trying to set you both up for ages but neither of you would make that move," Jamia explained as she remembered how frustrated Frank was with the whole situation when they first started their promotional tour in the UK.

"He's right you know, we both kept bumping into each other," Jill laughed.

"You know what we should do tonight?" Jamia said as she picked up her phone and started texting madly, "Alicia should be arriving tonight and I thought it would be a good time for us all to get to know each other."

"Sounds good, what did you have in mind?" Jill asked.

"Well we could skip the show and just chill out on the bus," Jamia suggested as she glanced at her phone to read the text she had just received, "Brilliant Alicia's up for it."

"Okay,"

"Hey I could probably get Eliza to try and get away early once they've finished their final change and we could make a real night of it." Jamia suggested.

"Yeah, definitely," Jill agreed,"I take it there will be alcohol,"

"Absolutely," Jamia laughed,"Can't let the men have all the fun."


x------x


Bob knew it was important for Jill to spend time getting to know the other girls. He was so pleased when she had told him they were going to do something tonight, even if it was just having something to eat on the bus. He hadn't failed to notice the alcohol stashed away in the corner. Feeling nervous, not that anything bad would happen if he wasn't there but more about what this evening could mean. He wondered if Jill would enjoy the travelling and constantly changing life. He swallowed hard as if he had just realised how much he would miss her when she went home. He watched as Jill laughed at something Jamia had said, Jamia was so like Frank, so welcoming and always making sure everyone was okay. He had been worried that Jill may have struggled to get to know Eliza but so far things seemed to be okay. Jill had told him about the awkwardness when she had first met Eliza but it appeared to have now been forgotten.

"So I'm going now to get ready," Bob said noticing she was in deep conversation with Jamia.

"Okay, have a nice time," Jill replied glancing at him briefly.

"hmm," he said a little too loudly.

"You've been replaced," a voice said behind him. Bob sighed again as Frank stood beside him, "I'm invisible, just the man that goes out to work."

"Jamia honey?" Frank said before pouting miserably when she didn't respond.

"You guys coming?" Mikey asked as he entered the room.

"Mikey, come here," Jamia suddenly said, "Let Jill see that photo of you and Alicia."

Frank and Bob just looked at each other before glaring at Mikey.

"She notices him," Frank sighed.

"That is such a cute picture," Jill said as Mikey beamed at her.

"You're so soppy Mr Way," Jamia laughed as Mikey blushed.

"We're gonna be late," Ray told them as he entered the room and picked up his jacket.

"Well we're ready," Bob said gesturing to himself and Frank.

Jill looked up at him,"I'll miss you," she said not caring that everyone heard her.

"She notices me," Bob said dramatically.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as she walked towards him.

"Where's Gerard?" Ray asked noticing that he was missing.

"Still in his bunk," Mikey said grinning," I wouldn't disturb him."

"Well we can't exactly go on without him," Ray replied walking to the bunk area," Gerard come on."

The others couldn't help but giggle when a breathless sound was heard.

"I'm coming,"

"Oh for fuck sake Gerard, we don't need to know just get a move on," Bob yelled making Jill laugh against his chest.

"I didn't mean, oh what's the point," Gerard yelled back.

The legs appeared out the bunk before he hit the floor, quickly fastening his belt and pulling his jacket on. Eliza jumped out behind him," Right let's go," she said, "Oh and Bob I'm working on you first and I'm thinking I might just shave it all off."

Jill's mouth suddenly gaped open, "noooooo, you can't do that," Jill gasped touching his hair as if it was the last time she would be able to do that.

"Over my dead body," Bob added before realising he mentioned death again.

"Maybe I'll colour it then," Eliza added laughing.

"What about pink?" Frank suddenly said releasing Jamia from his arms.

"or bright green," Gerard added.

"No, you guys stops," Jill replied looking genuinely worried, "I like your hair the way it is."

"aww she likes you just the way you are," Frank said placing his head on Bob's shoulder and affectionately rubbing his hand up and down Bob's arm.

"Get off me Iero," Bob snapped using his arm to push Frank away," Jamia please tell me why you are still with this clown?"

"Jamia knows exactly the reason, don't you babe," Frank replied as his eyes darted back and forth to his crotch area.

"I'm gonna be sick," Ray said, "Will you all please get a fucking move on."

"Hey if Alicia gets here before we're finished, tell her I won't be long," Mikey begged.

"Sure," Jamia responded.

"See you later Jilly," Bob said kissing her lightly as Ray ushered them out of the bus.

"Yeah Jilly, see you later," Frank said matter of factly as he smacked his lips against her.

"Fucking hell Frank," Bob shouted, "You better back off."

Jill just stood there in shock.

"You get used to it Jill," Jamia laughed, "Frank can't help kissing everyone."

"You mean him and Gerard," Jill replied.

"They're freaks and I love them but I wouldn't mention it in front of Eliza," Jamia explained," She's not really got a problem with it but she just hates anyone getting close to Gerard."

"It must be difficult for her with all the fans," Jill said sitting beside her.

"The problem is, she's trying to change a group dynamic that's been working for years. Frank gets a bit pissed off at times and it's difficult for Mikey when Alicia is not about."

"I kinda got the impression of some tension," Jill told her as she remembered some of the incidents that had happened when she was on their UK tour.

"Don't get me wrong, Eliza is a really nice girl and she's been friends with Alicia for quite a few years," Jamia paused for a moment as if she was thinking about the best way to phrase something, "Sometimes Gerard just needs some space to breath, Frank is always asking me to go on tour with him but I don't. I have work but also to me it's important for them to just spend time together, just the five of them."

Jill nodded her head in agreement, "I agree with you, sometimes I worry about being so far away. I love my job but I'm in the UK and Bob's over here when he's not all over the world."

Jamia smiled at her, "You have nothing to worry about plus the guys spend so much time in Europe."

"I guess so,"

"Honestly Jill you'll be begging to escape soon. They have so much free time to call,I swear they should have their phones surgically implanted. Oh you'll get the joy of calls in the middle of the night. Frank forgets the time zone thing all the time, or so he says."

"You want a drink?" Jill asked stretching to grab the bag," Jeez, what did you get? This is so heavy."

"There's gonna be four of us and this is rare because usually we don't drink to be fair to Gerard," Jamia explained reaching over and helping Jill lift the bag.

"He won't mind us doing this?"

"Nah," Jamia replied standing up to hunt for some glasses," he's really cool with all that now, so now and again he's fine with it."

"Oh no, you got vodka," Jill said as he placed the bottles on the table.

"You don't like it, shit," Jamia said as she placed the glasses on the table.

"I love it which is the bad side plus I'm in the mood to get totally drunk." Jill laughed and then clapped her hands in delight when she saw the lemonade.

"You do know we are just getting you drunk to get your darkest secrets,"

Jill thought for a moment, "I don't mind, I've not got anything to hide."

They both suddenly looked up as the door to the bus opened and a girl appeared dressed all in black with a bag bigger than herself strapped to her back.

"Hey you're not allowed to start without me,"

"Alicia, you made it," Jamia yelled with excitement as she ran up and hugged her friend, "You finally get to meet the elusive Jill."

"Hey," Alicia said with the warmest expression, "Oh now I get the gossip."

Jill was surprised thet they both had no inhibitions about speaking in front of her and how easily they had welcomed her into the group.

"I feel like I haven't seen Mikey for ages," Alicia said accepting the glass from Jamia.

"What's it been...10 days?" Jamia laughed.

"ha ha, are we getting to a hotel tonight or travelling? I can't remember, Mikey did say,

"Travelling on the bus tonight," Jamia confirmed.

"Fuck it's gonna be crowded," Alicia replied," I take it Krista didn't make it."

"No, but I think she's gonna try and catch up with us in a few days, Her works being really shitty."

"Poor Ray," Alicia remarked

"I think we were supposed to get another bus but there was a problem with it." Jamia confirmed.

The time just seemed to disappear so quickly, not that anyone was particularly watching the time as the drink continued to flow and Jill felt she had covered practically everything that had happened in the last 6 months of her life.

"What is that?" Jill said accepting the drink Alicia held out to her.

"It's my secret recipe," Alicia replied proudly.

"What's in it?" Jamia asked eyeing her own glass suspiciously.

"I'm not telling you,"

"But it's green," Jill said sniffing the concotion.

"Just drink it, it tastes nice I promise," Alicia assured them.

Jamia and Jill looked at each other before they gingerly sipped.

"Holy Mother of Jesus," Jill said coughing.

"That's strong," Jamia added as Alicia laughed at them.

"It feels like it's burning my throat," Jill added before laughing. It felt so good to laugh and she knew most of it was the alcohol but everything just seemed so funny for once. Jill didn't know how much she had drank because her glass just seemed to fill itself up.

"I need the bathroom," Jill suddenly said.

"The restroom?" Alicia asked grinning.

"Eh?" Jill replied looking totally puzzled before recollection eventually dawned, "Yep the restroom."

Jill slowly stood up, "The room is spinning, did I really drink that much?"

Alicia and Jamia couldn't help but laugh as they watched Jill stagger towards the door before reaching out and missing the handle completely, "Hey someone keeps moving the door,"
As Jill eventually managed to open the door and disappear into the room, the giggling girls turned to each other.

"She's mad," Alicia laughed.

"I really like her," Jamia responded,"But I think we might have to slow down soon because I think I might be a little bit drunk."

"You're wasted J," Alicia replied laughing once more.

They each suddenly turned as the restroom door opened and Jill fell out and landed on her hands and knees., "Whoops,"

"Hey Jill, you better come over here and sit down," Alicia said as she helped Jill to her feet and pulled her down beside Jamia, "Guys you are both older than me and look at the state of you both."

Jamia and Jill just giggled as they drank some more.

"That's your last," Alicia ordered.

x------x


"Mikey," Alicia shouted as he walked in the door. She immediately ran to him and he scooped her up in his arms.

"That'll be you guys for the night then," Eliza added as they watched Mikey carry Alicia towards the bunks.

"Hey Ali," Gerard grinned.

Alicia looked behind Mikey, "Hey guys, take care of Mia and Jill for me, bunch of lightweights."

Both Frank and Bob just grimaced at each other as they looked at the sleeping girls in front of them.

"I think they had a good time," Frank said eyeing the glasses and empty bottles.

"You guys need a hand?" Ray asked.

"Nah it's alright, we should be okay," Frank smiled before Ray disappeared to the back of the bus.

"Frankie,"

"Mia, are you okay?" Frank said attentively as he sat down beside her.

"I need to sleep," Jamia muttered as she hugged him tightly.

"Come on then," Frank said gently as he helped her to stand up.

Bob sat for a moment as he watched Jill curled up on the seat, he gently stroked the hair away from her face before whispering, "Jilly,"

Jill opened her eyes slowly before moaning at the bright light above them.

"Come here," he said helping her to move over beside him as he placed his arm around her.

"I don't deserve you," Jill said through her drunked haze.

"Will you stop with that," he replied wishing she didn't think like that.

"You're mad with me."

Bob sighed,"No, I'm not with you, look you're in no fit state to talk about it just now, let's get you to bed."

He gently helped her to her feet before quickly realising that was a non-starter when she could barely stand.

"Why did you have to drink so much?"

Jill looked up at him as he lifted her, "I don't know, it was nice to forget."

"Forget?"

"Everything, I miss him," Jill mumbled.

Bob sat on the couch, pulling her tightly to him as she sat on his lap, "I know you do honey."

Jill tried to close her eyes but the spinning just got worse, "Ugh I feel awful."

"That'll be the alcohol," Bob smiled unable to be mad with her, "You'll feel better after you've slept a bit." He knew that was a lie, there was a good possibility that she would be feeling a whole lot worse tomorrow.

"Are we moving?"

"Yeah, we're on the bus," Bob advised her, "You ready to go to bed?"

Jill nodded and closed her eyes as he lifted her towards the bunks.

"Is she okay?" Ray asked leaning out of his bunk as Bob appeared.

"Yeah, could you pull the bedcovers down for me?"

"Sure," Ray replied as he dropped out of his bed and yanked the sheet back before helping Bob to get Jill in the bed.

"You do realise what this means for tomorrow?" Ray said.

"What?" Bob asked kicking his boots off.

"Three girls with bad hangovers, oh the joy."

"Should we just jump off the bus now?" Bob asked grinning.

"I think escape is our only option," Ray replied as he lay back on his own bed.

"Night Toro,"

"Night."

Bob looked at Jill as she lay scruntched against the wall of the bus. He lay down beside her and shut the curtain. Jill turned to face him as she felt him lie down. Her head immediately rested on his chest and she let herself drift into sleep safe in the knowledge that he was there.

x------x


"Frank, shut up, goddamit, I'm gonna kill you," Jamia cried as Frank walked about the bunks shouting, "breakfast,"

"Is my little sweet cheeks feeling a bit poorly?" Frank cheekily said, "aww maybe if she hadn't polished off all that alcohol."

"Stop talking," Jamia pleaded.

"How about a fry up?" Frank suggested.

"Shut up please,"

"Greasy egg,"

"Fuck off, you're gonna make me throw up," Jamia begged curling up in her bed.

"What about beans?"

Jamia grasped her mouth and bolted to the bathroom.

"You're an evil bastard," Ray quipped as he eased himself off his bed.

"She'll feel better after she's been sick," Frank replied.

Jamia returned looking pale as she wiped the tears away from her cheeks.

"Feeling better?" Frank asked.

Jamia looked at him with a stare that he recognised.

"I was trying to make you feel better," he told her with concern lining his features.

"You know what would make me feel better?" she responded walking towards him.

"Anything, you know I'll do anything."

Jamia looked at him for a moment before she reached over towards his crotch area.

"Mia, I don't think, ouch oh fucking hell," Frank yelled as he felt her grip tighten before she pulled her hand away, "Why did you do that?"

Jamia shrugged," I don't know but it did make me feel so much better, thanks honey."

Frank looked at Ray in shock, "Stop laughing."

"You so deserved that," Ray laughed.

"Has Jamia kicked him in the nuts again?" Gerard asked Ray as Frank walked ackwardly into the living area.

"Yep," Ray replied still laughing.

"When you going to learn Frankie?" Gerard asked playfully rubbing Frank's hair.

"Jeez you must have a stomach of steel Ali," Gerard said to Alicia as he noticed her eating copious amounts of cereal.

"Ha ha, very funny old man, I just get the munchies and can handle my drink." Alicia replied.

"Are Bob and Jill still sleeping?" Mikey asked.

"I think so," Ray replied, "I haven't seen them."

"Jill was totally wrecked last night," Frank added.

"I think Bob was a bit pissed off when he saw her," Gerard added.

"Why?" Alicia asked surprised.

"He just worries, I think with all the stuff that's happened, it probably wasn't the best time to get drunk," Ray said.

"To tell you the truth guys, I think it really helped her," Alicia told them.

"How come?" Mikey asked.

"She spoke a lot about her dad and stuff, we just got to know each other, " Alicia explained, "I think you guys forget how intimidating it can be for people not used to this kind of life."

"I suppose," Frank replied.

"I hope you didn't tell her a lot," Eliza asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Alicia, you have to remember that she's a journalist at the end of the day," Eliza replied staring at Gerard.

"Yeah Ali, just be careful," he added.

"Don't be ridiculous," Frank interupted, "We can trust Jill."


x-----x

Jill started to feel better with each hour that passed until she had managed to push herself out of the bus along with Jamia. As the band prepared for the next show later that evening, Jill caught up with some e-mails and updated Ruth and Justin on what she was up to. Despite never wanting to see food again earlier, her stomach was now starting to demand it. Jill packed away her laptop and went in search for something to eat.

"Jill," Bob shouted as she walked past him.

Jill turned to look at him before screwing up her face, "What are you up to?" she asked wondering why he was hanging about what seemed to be a store cupboard.

"Come here," he said beckoning him towards her.

"I know we've not really had much time alone but this is a bit ridiculous is it not?" she replied slowly walking back towards him.

"Will you just get in here?"

Jill couldn't help but laugh, "Ohh I love it when you're so masterful Mr Bryar."

"You're killing me Jill, come on,"

Jill laughed as he pulled her into the room.

"Right so what did you........" Jill didn't have time to finish the sentence as he gently held her against the door and kissed her hard, "Woooaaah Bob, what's come over you?"

"I can't stop thinking of you, all I could think about during the interviews was how much I wanted to have you and knowing you were right outside, I'm going insane."

"So you want to have sex in here, it's like a store room stroke cleaning cupboard," Jill said looking behind him.

Bob pulled back, "You're right, I'm sorry."

Jill grinned, "I'm not, but we better be quick before someone finds us,"

"I love you," Bob said unable to contain the excitement of her going along with his plan.

Suddenly Jill had an idea as she pushed him back against the wall, they both paused as his feet hit the metal buckets lined up along the floor. "We gotta be real quiet," Bob added.

"Well honey, you're the noisiest of us both," Jill grinned as she unbuckled his belt.

"No way," Bob replied before he was quickly silenced as she kissed him.

He gasped as he felt her hand slip down into the front of trousers before she gently stroked him, "You are trying to kill me honey aren't you?" he sighed as he shut his eyes.

"Fuck someone's coming," Jill said alarmingly.

"mmm," Bob replied.

"No Bob, someone is at the door,"

Bob's eyes shot open, "I can't go out, fuck Jill look at me," he said pointing at his already erect penis.

"Hiding is our only option," Jill laughed as she pulled him into the corner behind a metal cage, "We'll be fine as long as they don't put the lights on,"

The door opened and they both held their breaths as voices could be heard and items were being dragged out of the room. Jill was crouched down with Bob right behind her, his arms clasped around her and his head leaning on to her back. For some unknown reason she couldn't help but gently rub her backside against him.

"Will you quit it," he almost moaned into her ear,"We're going to get caught."

The more he told her off, the more it turned her on, "You want to get caught Jill, do you know how much the guys would rib us to deATH," Bob asked as his voice suddenly jumped up a few octanes as she rubbed directly against his now throbbing trapped member., "I swear you are going to fucking get it," he said almost scolding her.

"Do you promise?" she seductively whispered before they both froze as someone approached them.

"Found it, I tell you Anne, I wish people wouldn't move things around," the woman said as she grabbed a bottle of the shelf directly in front of them and walked out of the room finally shutting the door behind them.

"That was close," Jill sighed as she started to stand up.

"Close, you are evil," Bob cried as he looked up at her, "Look what you did to me,"

Jill smiled before suddenly feeling very bad, "Do you want me to ease your pain?"

"I guess it's the least you can do," Bob replied in the saddest voice he could muster.

Jill smirked as she slowly unbuckled her belt and began to push her jeans over her hips, "No touching," she whispered.

"This is so unfair, I can hardly see you," he moaned reaching out to try and touch her.

"Get them off Bryar," Jill ordered.

Bob could hardly believe his luck and he scrambled madly to get his trousers off. He just froze there on his knees as he awaited his next order, this change in Jill had him totally aroused and the anticipation of knowing what was coming. He listened intently as he tried to work out where she was and what she was doing, "Jill, where are you?"

"I'm right in front of you," she whispered.

"Holy fuck," he sighed as he heard her jeans fall to the ground.

"Are you ready for me baby?"

Bob swallowed hard,"Yes definitely, absolutely,"

He waited impatiently, he just wanted to hold her and to feel himself inside her, "Jill, please," he groaned, "What are you doing?"

"I'm getting ready for you," she whispered taken aback by her own forwardness and the fact she was loving every moment of it.

"Are you?" he asked shocked.

"Am I what," she teased.

"God you are, aren't you?" he said trying to stand up, he couldn't wait any longer.

She moved towards him and pushed him back down as she dropped to the floor, "I'm ready for you now, I am SO ready for you now,"

Bob couldn't handle it any longer as he lifted her on to his lap, Jill kissed him hard as she gently lowered herself on to him. Bob groaned out loud, just that final feeling of feeling himself constricted within her was almost too much. Jill gently lifted herself.

"Please Jill, I want you, I need you," Bob cried as he pulled her back down.

Jill moved slowly at first as she gently rocked her pelvis over him until they both felt secure in the position. She knew this would be quick especially having teased poor Bob for the last 10 minutes. His increasingly anguished cries and heavy breathing as he tried to hold on for her.

"I love you Bobby," Jill whispered as she felt him start to stiffen and shudder beneath her.

Bob tried to stiffle his groan by leaning into her chest as he erupted inside of her, "I'm so sorry Jill, I'm so sorry," he gasped as his body started to relax and she lifted herself off him.

"What for honey?" she whispered as she sat beside him and held him close.

"I couldn't hold on anymore,"

"It doesn't matter, this one was for you," Jill assured him.

"But you didn't," he started before she kissed his forehead.

"I had so much fun," Jill replied, "Come on we better get dressed."

x------x


Bob looked out of the door to make sure it was clear before he let Jill out. "Are you watching the show tonight?"

"Yeah, I'm going out into the crowd with Jamia," Jill replied.

"Be careful," Bob said pulling her to him and kissing her.

"I will," Jill said as she walked off to first find a bathroom and then Jamia.

Bob watched her disappear around the corner before he walked into the dressing room.

"Hey guys," he said noticing just Frank and Gerard in the room.

"Bob, where the hell you been?" Gerard asked.

"We've been looking all over for you," Frank added.

"Just spending time with Jill, Where's Ray and Mikey?" Bob asked in return.

"Mikey and Ray are watching the support band," Gerard said studying Bob.

"I think Ray wants a word with you though," Frank told him.

"Oh okay, I'll go catch up with him then."

"Bob looks tired," Gerard said as the drummer left the room.

"Don't know how with all the breaks he's had," Frank replied plonking himself in front of Gerard.

"It's all the emotional stuff and he's been supporting Jill a lot," Gerard said pausing before eventually adding, "Maybe too much."

"What do you mean?"

"I like Jill you know that, but he hardly knows her," Gerard replied checking the door was shut.

"I wouldn't say that, we met her in what August? And it's practically December, that's 4 months, plus it's not as if they're still at the holding hands stage," Frank stated.

"I guess," Gerard reluctantly agreed, "It's just the job that she does, I don't know maybe I'm too paranoid."

"Gee relax, Bob's good at judging people and you know how much it takes for him to trust someone."

"It sounds fucked up eh?" Gerard laughed

"Nah it doesn't, we've had people screw us about," Frank replied, "I think we can trust Jill though,"

"I can hardly talk, look at me with Eliza and now I'm thinking of.."

"Stop the fuck right there, you're not seriously gonna ask her to marry you," Frank suddenly said as the words tumbled out of his mouth.

"Not right now," Gerard replied feeling a bit angry at Franks response, "Why do you have something against her?"

Frank swallowed hard, "No," he lied, "I just, well, I was shocked but if that's what you want to do then I'm happy for you."

"Maybe soon, I'm sure I want to do it and I know she would like me to but it's not the right time yet," Gerard explained.

'thank fuck' Frank thought to himself before replying,"You'll know when it's right."

x------x


Later that evening.

Jill and Bob lay across the bed in their hotel room. Jill listened intently as Bob talked about the show and how Frank was nearly dragged off the stage.

"What are you thinking about?"

Jill turned to look at him and smiled, "Everything that's happened this year, it's been quite a rollarcoaster."

"Certainly has, I can't believe 2006 is nearly over," Bob replied squeezing her hand.

"ahhh 2007, I feel like this year has just disappeared," Jill said as she lean't her head on his shoulder, "What do you think it'll bring?"

"Lots of touring, madness and hopefully plenty of happy times," Bob said.

"Laughter and people staying safe," Jill added.

"Yep, and more hugs," Bob laughed as he wrapped his arms around her.

"And more kisses," Jill smiled before smacking his lips briefly against his.

"Much more of them," Bob agreed.kissing her again, "and more of this," he added as he tickled her on both sides. Jill shrieked and tried to get away from him.

"Oh and definitely more.." he cheekily added as he raised both his eyebrows repeatedly.

"You think so," Jill replied unable to stop grinning.

"But most of all, no more sadness and just lots of good times," Bob told her as he pulled her on to his lap.

"Definitely," Jill agreed.

"2007, the year of the Bryar."

Jill burst out laughing, "Can I have 2008 then since you've already bagged next year."

"I suppose I might but right now I think we should enjoy every moment of 2006," he said kissing her once more, "I love you Jilly."

"I love you too," she replied before kissing him hard and slipping her leg gently over to straddle his lap.

"I love you so much," Bob whispered softly as he wrapped his arms around her and held her closely to him.

"I don't know what I would have done if I had never met you."

Bob smiled, "Something tells me you would have been just fine."

"Maybe," Jill said as he kissed her gently on the forehead.

Bob sighed loudly as she ran her hands up his chest.

A loud knock at the door startled them both, "Ignore it," Bob replied as he slipped his hands under her shirt and up her back.

Jill rested her hands on his shoulders as the knocking continued, "I better answer it."

"Damn it, I tell you in the year of the Bryar no one will be able to interupt us," he said as Jill lifted herself off him to stand up.

"Wishful thinking B, somehow I think next year will be more hectic," Jill laughed as she watched him stomp towards the door and open it.

"Yes Frank," Bob almost snapped.

"Bob, where's Jill?" Frank asked not waiting for the answer as he walked straight into the room.

"I'm here Frank,"

"Jill, you gotta come and help us eat all this food we just ordered."

Jill glanced over at Bob who had resigned himself to the fact that nothing would ever change.

"We'll come but you have to promise me that you guys will let me have some alone time before Jill goes home tomorrow," Bob sighed.

"Sure," Frank smirked before walking over to Jill and grabbing her hand, "We're just gonna crash Gerard's room, he of course doesn't know that yet but it serves him right for booking the biggest room in this place."

"Sounds like a good plan," Jill replied as Frank dragged her out the room, "plus we don't have to worry about the mess."

"Exactly," Frank instantly said.

Bob shut the door and watched the laughing couple in front of him. Frank had been so good at helping her out of the sadness she had been feeling. There was no doubt in Bob's mind as Jill looked back to check he was behind her, he loved her and he would do anything to make her happy.


The End


Phew - I made it, I finally finished it - hurrah. Sorry this one was a bit of a novel.
Thank you guys so much for reading this and for taking the time to review and even rate this story. I'm so happy that you liked it, I have green chapters up there, makes me so happy. Your comments inspired me to keep writing.

This might seem lame but I listened to so many bands to help me write this and I wanted to credit them especially since I used a lot of the titles of their songs for my chapter titles - MCR (obviously), Anti-Flag, Avenged Sevenfold, Biffy Clyro, Black Flag, Blink 182, Evanescence, Funeral For A Friend, Glasvegas, Green Day, Kings of Leon, Linkin Park, Lostprophets, Muse, Pixies, Placebo, Rise Against, Tenacious D and The Used.

Special shout goes out to the amazing people at yuku (D's fab forum and chat room). You guys are fab. Your kind words and non-judgemental advice have been amazing. Another thing and I don't care what you say, Pete Wentz does look like a racoon/beaver.