FicWad

I opened my eyes, not really remembering lying down or even passing out. I could have sworn that Gerard had been beneath me when I fell asleep. He wasn't there when I woke. Not in the bed, nor in the room. I checked under the bed, for good measure. Sure enough, he wasn't in sight. I sunk back into the pillows, tilting my head to the side. My phone was still on the bedside table, so I picked it up.
I flicked the screen up. It told me I had 4 messages.

Sorry, I had to leave. The doctor told me to. I will see you at lunch. Love you, baby. Was the first from Gerard.

I miss you, baby. I need you here with me. I wish you could hold me. Was from Jamia

Do you know where my lighter is? Was from Bob. Wonderful man.

Where are you? I’ve called Mikey’s house 5 times and no-one’s picked up! Damn, I had forgotten about my mum.

I replied to everyone. Told Gerard I missed him, Jamia to piss off and Bob that his lighter was under his left arse cheek. I had to call mum. After lying to her, tell her I fell at Mikey’s and cut my arm, she said she’d visit. I sat my phone underneath my pillow.

‘Mr. Iero?’ I heard someone call from the doorway. My doctor stepped slowly into the room, holding his clipboard against his chest.
‘I don’t mean to disturb you, but I have to talk to you. It’s a little important.’ He said. I guessed my episode yesterday had scared him.

‘Sorry about yesterday. I was just a little shocked.’ I whispered. I was ashamed of the way I acted.

‘That’s understandable. Now… You do realize you’ve already been into surgery, right?’ the doctor asked, flipping sheets on his clipboard.

‘Yeah.’

‘Okay. For the next few weeks, you’ll be sore. There’s a little tube around your vein to hold it together till it heals. The tube will dissolve after about a month. Till then, you’ll be on painkillers and a few other medications to help along the process.’ I nodded every now and then, showing I was listening.
‘Would you mind if I take a look?’ He asked, pointing towards my bandaged wrist. I shook my head and held it up for him.
He unwound the bandage, being very careful. As it dropped onto the bed beside me, he twisted my wrist for inspection.
‘That’s healing nicely. I will ask for you not to have it covered much. I will come check on you later. Have a good day, Mr. Iero.’ He set my wrist down on the bed and left, flicking the pages on the clipboard once more.
I lifted my wrist up, looking at the + shape there. The stitches were purple, not blue. I’d had stitches before and they were blue.
I jumped when my phone started to vibrate. I giggled to myself and pulled it out. It was a message from Gerard.

Hey baby. Just a stupid question. Do you know who your father is?

I read the message over 3 times, making sure I had read it correctly.

Kinda. Why? I sent back. I didn’t know why he wanted to know whether I knew my father or not. He was insignificant in my life. He’d left me and mum when I was 5 years old.
I waited for him to reply. Half an hour. An hour. An hour and 25 minutes. And then, he replied.

Just wondering, doesn’t matter. Was all I got. I waited for an hour and 25 minutes to hear that?

It does matter coz im curious now.
Again, I waited over an hour for his reply.

We’ll talk about it soon. Love you.
I kept wondering why it took him so long to answer me. It was barely 2pm, he wouldn’t have been with those perverted men… could he?

“Of course he could. It’s his lifestyle, remember? Just go wallow in despair and stop annoying me with your stupid questions.”

“Thought I finally shut you up.”

“Ha! You can’t get rid of me. I’m here forever… or until you can learn how to run your own life.”

“You don’t run my life.”

“I make all your decisions. I pushed you to Gerard so be fucking happy.”

“Please. You were against it. You fucking homophobic voice.”

“ Wanna know who your daddy is? Huh? He’s a rapist. A murderer. He didn’t leave you. He’s in jail.”

‘Bullshit.’ I said out loud, crossing my arms over my chest.

‘What's bullshit?’ I jumped. Gerard was in the room, sitting in the plastic chair next to me bed.

‘Oh… ah… Just arguing with myself again.’

‘What's that mean old voice saying now?’ Gerard giggled.

‘That my dad’s a murderer and rapist.’ I huffed, glaring at the white wall. I didn’t know my dad that well so, in my opinion, neither should the voice.
‘Which brings me to, why did you ask about him?’ I chirped up, uncrossing my arms.

‘Mikey mentioned something… From my past… Like I said, it doesn’t matter.’ He said quickly, shifting in his seat.

‘It matters to me.’ I said, sitting up.

‘I… I’m afraid you won’t look at me the same.’ He sighed.

‘Nothing you can say will change the way I see you.’ I said, tapping the space next to me on the bed. He took my invitation and lay down next to me.
‘You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.’ I whispered as I lay my head on his chest.

‘It’s not that I don’t want to tell you… it’s just that… I know you won’t look at me the same. My own mother won’t look at me like she used to.’ He started to stroke my hair, from my face to my back. I hadn’t realized my hair had gotten that long.

‘Gee, I won’t look at you any different. It’s your past, we have the future.’ I said. No matter what he’d done or seen, I’d still love him.
‘All I ask of you is that you always tell me the truth. I hate liars.’ I said, stroking his chest.

‘Your father raped and tried to murder me when I was 9.’ He whispered. My hand stopped. My breathing stopped. My whole body shut down.
‘Baby?.... Baby, breathe!’ Gerard said, shaking me. I took in a ragged breathe and sat up. My heart was pounding, making the blood rush around my body faster. I could feel my wrist throbbing but I was in too much shock to really notice it.
‘See?’ Gerard whispered again, tears leaking from his eyes. He sat up, ready to jump off the bed. I threw my arms around his neck and pressed my face into his shoulder.

‘I love you.’ I whispered. He wrapped his arms around my waist, laying his head on top of mine.

After we’d both calmed down and were lying down together again, I decided to break the silence.

‘How’d it happen?’ I asked. Gerard stayed silent. I was about to ask him again when he answered.

‘Me, mum, Mikey and dad went up to Nutley to visit Grandma. Being kids, Mikes and I got bored of sitting with an old lady, listening about how it was back in the 30’s or whatever. Dad took us to the park just around the corner from the nursing home. I thought I’d be a big man and go off by myself over the other side of the park. That’s when I seen a family playing. A mother, a father… and you.’ I looked up at him, confusion on my face.
‘You don’t remember, do you?’ He asked.

‘A little… All I really remember is playing on the swings and falling off… Someone picked me up and it wasn't mum or dad.’ I said, remembering that day. It was 10 years ago.

‘You didn’t even cry.’ He smiled.
‘I knew the moment I saw you in my room that I knew you. I didn’t realize who you were till Mikey brought up the rape situation.’

‘Did you ever think you’d be here with me now?’ I asked.

‘Never. I thought I’d just meet you that once and never see you again. I didn’t even think you’d remember me.’

‘I remember your smile… and your eyes. Oh my god! You were fat!’ I giggled, almost falling off the bed.

‘Shut up. Do you want me to finish or not?’ He asked, fighting a smile. I pulled an imaginary zipper over my lips, locked it with a key and put the key in Gerard’s hand.
‘If only.’ He whispered.
‘Okay. I went over to your mum and asked if I could play with you. Your mother is wonderful. She took us to the swings with lolliepops. Mine was grape, you had cherry and your mum had strawberry. She left when your father called her over and that’s when you fell. I felt badd and I couldn’t just leave you there so I picked you up. You smiled at me.’ He started to play with my hair again, twisting a lock of it between his fingers. I smiled up at him again.
‘After I put you back on the swing and pushed you once or twice, your dad called me over. I thought he just wanted me to give you something. So, I went over there. I kept glancing back at you, making sure you hadn’t fallen again.’

‘That’s when he grabbed you and ran.’ I said, remembering watching my father take an older boy into the nearest trees.

‘Yes. Your mother had her back to us. She was with you. But I could see you peeking over her shoulder.’

‘I tried to tell her… but she thought I was being stupid and told me that dad wouldn’t just take a little boy.’ I whispered. Every day from then my mum would remind me of the time I told her daddy was stealing a little boy. She laughed at me and said I was being imaginative. I eventually believed her.

‘Thank god she didn’t listen to you. He told me if anyone came to save me, he’d kill them. Even if they were just a little kid.’ His arms tightened around me.
‘After he raped me, he pulled out a knife. I don’t know what he was doing but I’m sure he was trying to take one of my organs.’ He said. I felt his hand stop playing with my hair. I looked to see what he was doing. He’d pulled the side of his shirt up and was feeling along his ribs.

‘Can I?’ I asked, pointing to where he was touching. He nodded and pulled his shirt up more. All up his ribs were thin lines. You could barely see them over his pale skin but they were there. At least 20 cuts adorned his skin. Amongst the mess of cuts, there was a letter, or 2. I looked closer. An S… A… M… Sam.
‘He branded you.’ I said, tracing the letters.

‘I wasn't his first.’ Gerard said, pulling his shirt down and pulling me to lay down with him again.
‘I don’t know who found me. I blacked out after he dropped the knife and ran off.’

‘He left the knife there?’ I asked. Gerard nodded. I held my palm up closer to my face. Just like Gerard, I had a scar. I’d gotten mine from a knife in a park.

‘What?’ Gerard asked, looking at my hand. He traced the line that stretched from my thumb to my pinkie.
‘You found me.’ He whispered.

‘I don’t remember… I remember running into the trees when mum finally let me go… and I fell and cut my hand… and I woke up in hospital.’ I said.

‘Thank you, Frankie. You saved my life.’ Gerard said, hugging me tightly. I sighed and rested against him.

‘Wait… Why doesn’t my mum remember you?’ I asked. Surely my mum would remember that day.

‘I’m not that little fat kid anymore, Frankie. I doubt she’d remember me, even if I was fat.’ He giggled.

‘True…’ I whispered.
‘Speaking of my mother, she should be here soon.’ I said.

‘I’ll go then.’

‘No! Don’t leave me, please?’ I begged, flipping to my stomach and wrapping my arms around him.

‘It’s up to you. Let her see us like this and tell her or I go.’ He said, kissing the top of my head.

‘I want to tell her but… I don’t know how she’ll react.’ I said.

‘It’s okay, baby.’ He whispered kissing my lips once.

‘Stay, please?’ I begged again.

‘Okay.’ He sighed. I let him get out of the bed and sit in the hospital chair. I lay back on the bed, feeling alone.

‘I hate this bed, it’s too big.’ I breathed.

‘What do you mean it’s too big?’ Gerard asked, taking my hand and squeezing it.

‘It’s too big without you.’ I said, shifting around to find a comfortable position.
‘And it’s REALLY uncomfortable.’ I groaned.

‘Don’t worry, you’ll be in your bed soon.’ Gerard said, pecking my lips. As he pulled away, my mother walked in.
‘Hello, Mrs. Iero.’ Gerard greeted her politely.

‘Hi mum.’

‘Gerard? What are you doing here?’ She asked, taking the seat next to him. He subtly let go of my hand. My mum hadn’t noticed that.

‘Mikey wanted me to give Frank a message. That and all my friends are busy. Seeing as Frank can’t go anywhere, I thought I’d see him.’ Gerard said. I had to hold back the laughter in my throat.

‘Oh. That’s sweet. Thank you for keeping him company.’ My mum said, kissing his cheek. He smiled wide and returned the gesture.

‘Want a lolliepop, Frankie?’ Gerard asked me, standing up. I nodded and he walked out the door, swinging his hips as he walked. He disappeared around the corner but poked his head back round.
‘Cherry?’ He asked.

‘CHERRRRRRY!’ I giggled. He nodded and went off. I was left with my mother who was watching me.

‘He seems nice… and I feel like I know him from somewhere.’ She said, pursing her lips.

‘Yeah, it’s just his personality.’ I lied, fighting a smile.

‘Hmm… No. It’s his face. Defiantly his face.’ She murmured to herself. Gerard returned as everything became quiet.

‘Cherry for Frankie.’ He sang, handing me the red lolliepop.
‘Strawberry for Mrs. Iero. And grape for Gerard.’ He sang. I gigged as my mum opened the wrapper and popped it into her mouth. I did the same, watching Gerard suck away at his. He winked at me and hollowed his cheeks. I burst into laughter.

‘What's so funny?’ Mum asked when Gerard joined me.

‘I don’t…. know!’ I choked out, trying to control myself.

‘I love grape.’ Gerard said randomly when everything had gone silent.

‘Cherries better.’ I said, sticking my tongue out.

‘Sorry boys, strawberries the best.’ Mum said, poking her tongue out at both of us. Her tongue was pink, Gerard's was purple and I guessed mine was red.
‘How did you know I like strawberry?’ Mum asked Gerard.

‘Just a guess.’ He said, winking at me again.

‘Oh… Gerard, this may sound a little weird but I swear I’ve seen you before.’ She said, popping the lollie back in her mouth.

‘If I’m being completely honest, Mrs. Iero, you should remember me.’ Gerard said, all traces of seriousness crossing his face.

‘I don’t know where from though… and please, call me Linda.’ She said, smiling a little.

‘It’s a long story.’ He said, shifting his eyes to me. He motioned with them to the bathroom. I nodded a little and sat up.

‘I have to pee.’ I said, jumping out of the bed and walking to the bathroom. I opened the door and closed it quietly. I sat with my back against it, pressing my ear against it so I could hear. I got a little nervous and bit down too hard on my lolliepop. It broke into a few hundred piece. I sighed and threw the stick in the bin.

‘Do you remember, about 10 years ago, a little boy asking to play with your son at the park?’ I heard Gerard ask. He spoke slowly.

‘Barely.’ My mum said.

‘That was me. I was 9 and very fat.’ He said.

‘You?... Oh my.’ My mum gasped. I heard the chair topple over and her footsteps getting closer to the bathroom. I didn’t move though.
‘G-Gerard… My… My husband… He…’ She paused.
‘No… Can’t be… What did he…?’ She stuttered.

‘It doesn’t matter now.’ Gerard said quietly. I could barely hear him through the door.

‘I-I… I have to go…. Bye Frankie.’ She called through the door. I heard her footsteps echo down the hall.
I opened the door and sat on Gerard's knee.

‘That went well.’ He said sarcastically.

‘Give her time… It’s not every day you see the kid your husband raped.’ I said.

‘True… I wonder what she’s thinking.’ He said, more to himself than me. He was looking into space. I waved my hand in front of his face but he didn’t move. I sighed and pecked his lips. He shook his head slightly and kissed me back.

‘Come on.’ I said against his lips. I stood up and took his hand.

‘Where are we going?’ He asked. I just pulled his hand till he stood up.
‘You’re not going out in that are you?’
I looked down. I hadn’t noticed I was in a hospital gown.

‘I’ll get changed.’ I sighed. I went over to my bag that Mikey had brought in. I slipped my jeans on under the gown then picked up a random shirt. Gerard came up behind me and untied the gown. As soon as it was off my skin, he wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder.

‘Love you.’ He whispered.

‘Love you too.’ I whispered back.

‘Thank you.’

‘What for?’ I asked.

‘For saving me.’ He said as he kissed my bare shoulder. I giggled as his breath tickles my skin. He let me go and I slipped my shirt on.

‘Let’s go.’ I said, taking his hand again. I led him down the hall and out to one of the many court yards. Gerard sat down in one of the chairs and pulled me down with him.
He pulled put his cigarettes and lit one. He placed it between my lips and lit his own.

‘It’s a nice day.’ I said, watching the clouds slowly wander around the sky. There were only a few. The ones I was watching flew behind the umbrella above our heads.

‘I hate the sun.’ Gerard said, taking a draw.

‘Obviously.’ I giggled, kissing his cheek. As I did, someone walked past the open door.

‘Aww… aren’t they cute?’ She said. I looked over towards her. She was walking by with an older woman.

‘Rose! Don’t stare. It’s rude!’ The old lady scolded her, grabbing her hand and dragging her away.

‘Yes, we are cute.’ I giggled.

‘Come here.’ Gerard said, taking a long draw of his cigarette and placing his lips over mine. The smoke slowly wandered into my mouth. I drew it back and blew it out my nose. I pressed my lips harder against his, dropping my cigarette on the ground. I heard Gerard drop his. I pushed myself harder against him, feeling his heart beat against my chest. I straddled his thighs to make it easier for the both of us.
His tongue snaked between my lips, meeting my tongue in a battle. I gripped a handful of his hair in my hand and caressed his cheek with my other hand. His hands wandered around my back, dipping lower to my arse every now and then. He gripped my thighs and pushed me harder against him.
My wrist started to throb again as my heart beat faster.

‘Stop… Stop.’ I breathed, letting go of his hair and sitting back on his thighs.

‘What's the matter, baby?’ Gerard asked, holding onto my hips.

‘My wrist hurts.’ I said, turning my arms over to have a look. Underneath the stitches, I could see my vein, it was larger than normal.

‘Have you taken your medication today?’ He asked, holding my wrist gently.

‘No.’

‘Well, come on.’ He said, sliding his under my arse and lifting us up. I put my arms around his neck, holding on since he was supporting my weight.

‘Aren’t I heavy?’ I asked.

‘Nope. You’re as light as a feather.’ He said, smiling. As if to prove his point, he dropped his arms. As I fell, he wrapped them around my waist and pulled me against him. My legs wrapped around his waist tightly.

‘Don’t drop me.’ I breathed, holding on tighter.

‘I’d never drop you, baby.’ He said as we rounded a corner and came up to a desk.

‘How can I help you?’ The lady said. She looked nice. Long black hair, red lips and dark make-up. Her cheek bones were a little high though.
Gerard shifted me a little so I was on his hip.

‘Frank needs to take his medication.’ He said. The lady typed something in on the computer. She barely watched the screen though. She was too busy eyeing Gerard. Normally, I wouldn’t mind since Gerard was gay but something about this girl told me to be wary.

‘Oh yes. I’ll get it for you.’ She said sweetly. As she walked back from the desk, she swung her hips like Gerard had done earlier.

‘I think she likes you.’ I whispered in his ear.

‘Really? Hmm… Too badd. I’m taken.’ He whispered back, pausing like he actually considered it. I giggled and kissed his neck. And again. And again. I started to suck on the skin, nibbling as well. I could hear her footsteps coming closer. I smiled to myself and kept assaulting his neck. As her footsteps got louder, I got more into it. Moaning as I moved myself against Gerard's side.

‘H-Here you go. Have a good day.’ She said. I couldn’t see her but I could hear the fake smile on her face. I bit his skin once more and turned to her, breathing heavily.

‘You too.’ I smiled. Gerard didn’t say anything, he just picked up the 2 bottles of pills and took me back to my room. He laid me down on the bed and sat next to me, putting the bottles on the bedside table.
He leant down over me, kissing my neck. I turned my head to the side, giving him more flesh to attack.

‘You know… We’re going… To have… Some… Mmmm… Trouble…. Explaining… Where… These… Came… From.’ He said between each kiss. He slowly began to suck like I had. I closed my eyes and held onto his hips.

‘You can say that girl came onto you.’ I breathed.

‘Not likely.’ Gerard said, popping his head up before grinning and diving back down to my neck.

‘I’m sure there’s a hot man around here.’

‘Only one.’ He said, biting harder on my neck. My heart started to beat faster. I knew what was going to happen if I didn’t stop.

‘Gee.’ I said, taking hold of his shoulders. I pushed him up and held him above me.
‘I can’t get my heart racing.’ I said.

‘I know. I’ll stop.’ He said. He reached over to the bedside table and took 2 pills from each bottle out. He sat them down and pulled a bottle of water out from one of the draws.
‘Open.’ I openly my mouth and let him drop one pill on my tongue. I took the water and drank down the pill. I did the same for the rest and sat the empty bottle on the table.
‘Feel better?’

‘Not really.’ I said, feeling a little drowsy.

‘Rest, baby.’ Gerard whispered.

‘Stay with me?’ I asked, reaching for him. He took my hand and climbed in bed with me. He lifted me up a little and set my body down on top of his.

‘Sleep well, baby.’ He whispered, kissing my head.

I felt like writing :) That and my net is fucking up. R&R xox E
BTW, I'm now going by a story line. I just wanted to have some fun before it gets boring... for me.