Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Caught Up In This Web


by _Amy_Revenge_ 8 reviews

"I'm not really in the mood for pussy tonight," I say, and he laughs.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor - Characters: Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way,Ray Toro - Published: 2009-08-09 - Updated: 2009-08-09 - 4754 words

I would just like to point out that in this chapter the word 'dick' is used a LOT. If you have sensitive, virgin eyes, I suggest you warm up a bit first. Say it out loud a few times, picture one, and get ready to laugh :)
On another note.. Sorry this took so long!


Sunday, October 22


Yush, I have survived ze wrath of so-called "angry Mikey" ha ha. Not surprising, really. I've always been tough ^flexes imaginary muscles^

So it turns out Ray didn't tell anyone that he'd seen us come home this morning. Good man. When Mikey asked him where Gerard was, Ray told him he was probably sleeping, since he stayed up all night playing video games. Sure enough, right where we left him, Gerard was sleeping(passed out, more like) and Mikey didn't even bother checking to see if he was hung over. He noticed Taylor was, though, and mentioned the penis and she flipped. So Mikey got a good laugh :) Me, on the other hand? I keep picturing Clayton in my mind. I just can't get over the fact that he let himself get into all that shit.

On to better subjects...

Bob killed my baby! My beautiful camera is brain damaged, thanks to a still-very-drunk Taylor this morning. Freaking hell! It's funny, actually, because somehow I saw that coming.. Like I put my camera away and everything, right, and somehow Taylor STILL managed to get her paws on it and annoy Bob. So Bob has to buy me a new camera. He argued that since Taylor was the one annoying him, SHE should buy it, but I told him that he's the one with the fear, so therefore his pocket must pay. He then said that he doesn't have a "fear" of cameras, he just doesn't like them unless they're creating fame or whatever. The guys even helped me gang up on him, and it was five to three(Maggie was with Bob.) Thus, Bob gets to buy me a new one :) And I get to pick it out, woo!

Ugh.. My head hurtsss and I don't wanna write anymore. And I need to shave. Like badly!
So I'll like, write later or something? Even though I never do when I say I will? B/c I get busy with shit? And stuff? Anyway, laterrrrr!


I hear a satisfying crunch! as I bite down on my stick of green pepper. I dip it in some weird dip stuff I made using sour cream, ranch dressing powder stuff, and milk, and take another bite. I love the sound it makes! Nobody except Bob likes green peppers. I don't understand why, I mean they're delicious! Especially in my wonderful dipping sauce!

"Ugh, Amy, why must you crunch?" Taylor whines, covering her face with a pillow and rolling over on the couch. I shrug and reach for another stick. Bob beats me to it, sticking his tongue out, and I pout. He looks at the stick of yummy green goodness, then back to me, and then snaps it in half, giving me the smallest of the two. I smile and munch on it slowly, whereas Bob makes it disappear with one bite.

"Because, Taylor, the crunching isn't that loud. You're ears are just super sensitive because you were stupid enough to drink last night." She flips me off and doesn't say anything. I smile and rest my head on Jeremy's shoulder. He's playing Guitar Hero II with Frank. Guess who's winning?

"Fuck! I'm a fucking guitarist and a mother fucking drummer beats my ass? I call a rematch!" Frank yells, sounding like a little boy throwing a tantrum. I giggle and plant a kiss on Jeremy's cheek.

"That's my baby," I coo, and Jeremy chuckles.

"You're on, Frank. But I'm just gonna kick your ass again!" Frank shakes his head and they restart the thingy. I sigh and yawn, and close my eyes, only to be shaken awake by Mikey.

"Mm?" Mikey motions for me to follow him, and walks to the back. I roll my eyes, stand up, stretch, and then make my way towards the back. Oh dear, I sure hope I'm not about to get my butt chewed out! That would be no bueno! Mikey's sitting on the couch, so I remain standing. "Yeah?"

"Was Gerard with you last night?" he asks, and my blood freezes slightly. I think; should I lie, or should I tell the truth and die? I weigh my options. "Come on, Amy. I won't yell at you." I raise my brow, and he sighs. "I promise."

"Alright, yes he was. But! It was all his idea. I had nothing to do with his drinking, okay?" Mikey nods and pats me on the back.

"See, that wasn't so hard. But how did he get out? The guys didn't see him." This time I choose lying, and pat him on the back in return.

"He used his ninja skills and snuck out beneath their noses." Mikey snorts, like he doesn't believe me. I shrug. "That's the truth, take it or leave it."

"Fine, I'll take it. But only because I'm about to go chew Ray's ass out for lying to me." I smile and he winks, then hands me a camera. I stare at it, wondering why he gave it to me. He stops and turns back, then smiles. "Trust me, this will be a moment to record." I nod and turn it on, then point it at me.

"Hi, I'm Amy Revenge, and what you're about to see must never be reinacted." I walk up to the front just in time to see (and record) Mikey jump onto Ray's back, grabbing ahold of his fro. Ray yells and spins in circles, but Mikey's smart. He reaches down with one hand and squeezes Ray's imaginary boob, and Ray stops.

"What the fu-"

"You know you like it. Don't you. Don't you, RayRaykins?" Mikey hops down, Ray turns around, and Mikey hugs him. Ray, obviously stunned, hugs him back and then yelps as Mikey gives him a huge ass wedgie. I crack up laughing, and then zoom in on the camera. Ray's got tears in his eyes, and Mikey does too. Hell, we all probably do at this point because it's just so damn funny!

"Not cool, Mikes! What did I ever do to you?!" Mikey laughs and pats him on the back, and Ray furiously tries to adjust his pants without being too obvious about it.

"Told me Gerard played games all night." Ray shoots me a glance and I shake my head. He glares and turns to Mikey.

"Oh really? Because I remember hearing him scream like a fucking pansy, while he jumped out of the back window." Mikey looks at me, and I shrug. Fuck! Leave it to Ray to ruin it all.. Or did he?

"That's funny, Ray, because I don't remember hearing it. And I sure as hell would'a woken up to Gerard's scream. Just for that, another wedgie for you!" Ray backs up, right into Bob, and Bob does the honors of the super wedgie. Let's just say..Ray is NOT gonna be a happy camper for a while.

"Shut up!" Frank and Jeremy yell, and I turn the camera on them to find that they're playing Guitar Hero by sound. Or however you wanna call it. They were both blind-folded(no doubt Frank's idea) and Jeremy was still kicking Frank's ass. I keep the camera aimed at them for a bit, then turn it to Taylor, who's fast asleep, then turn around and walk to Gerard's bunk.

"And here, still fast asleep, is Gerard Way in his-" I stop short, the camera still recording the scene before me, my eyes glued to the spot. Gerard. Is laying in bed. Naked. And he doesn't have a blanket on him. With a gasp I turn the camera towards me. "You didn't see anything!" I shut it off and toss it up into Mikey's bunk, then run up front, collapsing into a chair next to Jeremy. I try acting normal, as if I didn't just see what I saw. I thought I was acting pretty well, but apparently I wasn't.

"Hey," Jeremy says, handing the guitar to Mikey and sitting next to me. "What's wrong?" I look at him.

"Nothing, why?" He shrugs.

"I dunno. You look sorta.. horrified?" I nod, slightly, still picturing Gerard in my mind. I gag. "Did you just gag?"

"What? No, I just- oh!" I jump up and run into the small bathroom, just barely making it to the toilet before upchucking everything I ate for breakfast. I close my eyes, feeling slightly dizzy, and from out in the living room area I hear someone asking if I was throwing up. For some reason, this makes me giggle. Ha! I just threw up because I saw a dick. How priceless! Someone's hand rubs my back, and when I look to the side I see Bob.

"Don't come in here, there's puke everywhere!" Bob calls out, then turns to me. "Are you okay? I mean are you like, sick?" I shake my head.

"No, but I don't feel so good. I think it's cos I just threw up." I giggle again, and he hands me a wet cloth. I wipe my face with it, then fold it and stuff it into my mouth, pulling it out a couple times to clean my tongue. Don't ask, it works. At least for me it does.

"Feel better?"

"Yeah, just a little. Help me up?" He smiles and helps me up, then picks me up.

"Ah! Put me down, Bob, please?" He shakes his head and carries me to my bunk. After making sure I'm all tucked in, and after watching me brush my teeth, he leans on the frame.

"So, tell me." I look at him wearily(hey, puking takes energy) and shake my head. I curl up and close my eyes, counting to ten, but when I open my eyes Bob's still there. "Yeah, I ain't leavin' till you tell me what made you puke. All you had this morning was coffee and cereal. The milk is fine, the cereal is fresh, and the coffee was made this morning. So everything is fresh. What made you suddenly sick?" I sigh.

"To be honest?" He nods. I sigh again, and cover my face. "IsawGerard'sdick." I peek out at Bob, and he's got this weird expression on his face.

"Wait, repeat that?" So I do. "One more time." I sigh, annoyed, and repeat myself once more. This time he starts chuckling, then chokes a little, and then falls down laughing so hard that I can feel the vibrations in my bones.

"Oh my God!" I sigh and cover my face again, blushing like mad. Who would'a thought, that after all these years of having a crush on Gerard(when I was a bit younger) and singing his music, I'd see his junk? Well, I sure wasn't laughing. It was fucking embarrassing! That's like seeing my dad's family jewels(which I have!) or my brother's(which I have!) or just..just..AH! I start to cry along to Bob's laughter, and eventually he rubs my back.

"Hey, it's not so bad. It could'a been worse.." I sniffle and look up at him.

"H-how c-could it p-possibly get any worse, Bob? I fucking saw his dick, his fucking dick! And it's on camera! And he's gonna kill me! AH!" I bury my face again, crying harder. Bob pats my back again and then pulls me up.

"Wait, you said it's on camera?" I nod, then shake my head.

"No, Bob, you are NOT destroying Mikey's camera!"

"No no no, that's not why I want it." I look at him, puzzled, when suddenly it dawns on me. My eyes go wide.

"Oh my God, Bob, you're gonna post it?!" He nods, pulls it out from Mikey's bunk, and runs to the back. I sigh, climb out, and walk so that I can watch him. I sit in a chair next to him, and watch as he plugs the camera into the computer and hits the download button. "I can't believe you're doing this.." I mumble, and he laughs suddenly. I look over and as soon as I see Gerard's junk I choke back the bile rising in my throat.

"Oh my God, that's priceless!" he guffaws, and I sigh.

"I'm going up front." He doesn't say anything as I walk up front, blanket around my shoulders. I walk towards the couch, intending to sit next to Taylor, but Jeremy pulls me down onto his lap. I groan and press my face against his neck, and he strokes my hair.

"Hey, you okay hun?" I shake my head. "Wanna talk about it?" I shake my head again. "Alright. You just relax, okies?" I nod and then nuzzle his neck, my arm reaching up to stroke his face softly, and smile.

Even though he's nineteen, he doesn't have any facial hair. How cool-and weird-is that? I love it. I stroke his face once more and let my hand slide down his chest, then rest my head on his shoulder. He wraps his arms around me, squeezes me tight once, and kisses the top of my head. I giggle and nuzzle him again, this time lightly nipping his neck. He tenses, slightly, and then relaxes again.

"I wouldn't do that, if I were you," he whispers. I smile up at him innocently, and he chuckles.

"Do what?" I use a little kid voice, which always makes him smile.

"Don't act all innocent, Missy. You are far from it." I giggle and nip him again, and his arms tighten around me. "Amyy," he wines, and I can't help but giggle as he squirms. Jeremy loves being bitten. And by me nipping at him, well..let's just say he might develope a 'small' problem. I bite him this time, a little harder than I was nipping, and he moans softly and leans his head back. I feel him shiver against me, and it makes me smile.

"Hey Jeremy," I whisper, and he opens one eye.

"Is the war over?" I giggle and poke his shoulder.

"Yesh?" He opens the other eye and squints at me, which makes me giggle again. "I luffers youuu." He smiles and kisses my lips softly.

"And I luffers you toooo," he says, all baby-like, and I kiss his cheek once more and stand up.

"So.. anyone know when we're gonna be stoppin'?" I ask no one in particular. And just as I expect, nobody answers me. I roll my eyes and sigh, then ruffle up Jeremy's hair a bit. "Well I'm gonna head to the back. Work on some shit." I head on back and take a seat on the couch, watching as Bob does a few final touches to the video(well obviously he's still working on it). I pull out a few sheets of paper from under the couch(my special hiding spot) and read over the lyrics I wrote a few days ago during a stage of horrific boredom. Then I pull out my guitar and get to work, trying to figure out when and where each verse and guitar part start and end. Fully absorbed in the music, I don't hear the knock on the hall way frame.

"So what all did I miss?" Gerard asks, and my head shoots up. I sigh in relief at the sight of his baggy jeans, and he rubs the back of his head and walks over, pausing just beside me. "Where's Bob?" he asks, yawning. I yawn (it's contagious) and then point to where he was just minutes ago, and then frown when I see he isn't there anymore.

"He was uploading the video from earlier onto youtube, but I dunno. He must've went back up front," I say, and he nods. Up front Mikey laughs as Frank (I presume) loses a life on Super Mario, and the sound of Frank hitting him with a pillow reaches my ears. I peek down the hall way and see Taylor lay back down, fast asleep, Jeremy's no longer sitting in his chair, and Ray's writing at the table. Maggie's resting her chin on her hand, watching Frank with interest.

"You guys were making videos earlier?" Gerard asks, and sits down next to me. I scootch over just a tad, and Mikey yells in frustration.

"Dammit, Frank! You knew that was my mushroom!" Frank laughs evily and I hear Mikey smack him back with a pillow. "I'm gonna get you, you little shit!" I stifle a giggle and Gerard sighs, then scratches his arm.

"Yeah, we uh, were video-taping Mikey attacking Ray earlier." He nods, and I notice his eyes are all puffy and red. From what I've seen, you don't usually get the red and puffy eyes from having a hang-over. You only get those when you've been crying. And Gerard definitely looks as if he's been crying. But am I going to mention this? I think not! He probably had a text fight with Lizzy..

"Ah. That all? I mean, I've got the strangest feeling that someone pulled back my curtain earlier." I cough and look away, then strum a few chords.

"I was actually in the middle of something. There's coffee up front, and we bought some chicken earlier. You should eat something." I smile and he returns it, then stands up and leaves. I sigh in relief, then pick up exactly where I was before. I was determined to finish this song at least by the end of the week.


I wake up a few hours later, not even realizing at first that I'd fallen asleep, and yelp when Mikey's face suddenly appears in front of me.

"Holy shit! Dude, how long have you been sitting there?" I sit up, rub my eyes, and yawn.

"Not long. We're stopping to pick up some food, I think from Taco Bell. You want anything?" I shake my head.

"I'm not really in the mood for pussy tonight," I say, and he laughs. I can tell just by looking in his eyes that he doesn't know what I mean. Obviously, he didn't know that there was a rumor going around that Taco Bell uses dead cat meat shipped up from Mexico for their tacos and whatnot. Therefore, eating TB is eating pussy. If you don't get it me, you will eventually.

"Alright, whatever. There's a Subway across the way, I could run over and get you something?" I think about it. It's been so long since I last had Subway, and just thinking about it I could smell it. My tummy rumbles in agreement, and I nod.

"Yeah, sure. Actually I think I'll get it myself, thanks Mikey." I smile and he helps me up, and I stretch. Okay, I realize now that I stretch a lot. See, because I'm really tall and stuff, and I don't really move a lot unless I'm on stage, my joints tend to lock, among other things. So I stretch. The guys have similar issues, but Connor just likes the sound of popping. He's weird like that, ha ha.

"Hurry up, though. Filip says we're ahead of schedule, and if we hurry we'll be able to hang out and like go to the mall tomorrow before the show. Sounds fun, right?" I nod and pull on my converse high-tops, then walk out of the bus. I run to the cross-walk, just barely making it before it turns red, and sprint across the street. It's just barely getting dark outside, and it's about six. I stand in line behind a couple older people, and not even a minute goes by before someone taps me on the shoulder. I turn and see a couple kids, a boy and a girl, probably not much younger than me.

"Hi, I'm Thalia and this is John. Are you Amy Revenge?" the shorter of the two ask, and I smile.

"Why yesh I am," I say, and they both smile, and the girl nudges the boy before walking off. I get a little confused, and look at John, who's staring at his shoes. I shrug and clear my throat. He looks up, and I say, "So what can I do for you?" He blushes and coughs.

"I uh, was just w-wondering if you could sign this?" His voice is, surprisingly, deeper than Jeremy's, and I can't help but ask how old he is. He says he just turned twenty, and that he and his sister, Thalia, are driving all the way to Sandpoint to see us in concert tomorrow night. I smile and take the note paper he's holding, sign it a little differently than I normally do, and hand it back to him. He looks it over and then hands it back.

"Anything you want me to add?" I ask, once again confused. He blushes again and shakes his head, then nods.

"Uh.. Would you mind uh, kissing it?" He's biting his bottom lip nervously, and I giggle.

"I don't have any lipstick..?" He laughs (it sounds nervous, too) and then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tube of black lipstick. I'm a little surprised that he chooses black, but once I look at what he's wearing it makes perfect sense. He's got that whole 'I'm a rebel and I'll shoot you' look. I apply a little, putting it on just slightly heavy, and then kiss the paper. I rub my lips together, because I still have some on me, and hand the tube (and paper) back to him.

"There ya go," I say, and then his sister comes back up to him, grabs the paper, squeals, and throws her arms around me. It takes me a second but I hug her back, and John clears his throat.

"Dude, stop killing her!" he hisses, and Thalia backs off. "I'm sorry about that, she just gets really hyper when she meets famous pe-"

"Don't worry about it. I luff getting hugs." I smile reassuringly, and Thalia throws her arms back around me.

"Um Ma'am? Would you mind telling me what you want?" the Subway sandwich boy asks, and John tugs Thalia off.

"Okay, first of all I'm not old enough to be a Ma'am. Second, I was getting there. Can't you see I'm busy? And third.. well, there's not really a third. Other than I don't appreciate your tone. Now.." I trail off, looking at the menu, and smile. "I'll take the roast beef foot long, please."

"Toasted?" I shake my head and he moves on, asking me what I want on it. I tell him to put swiss cheese on it, along with tomatoes, cucumbers, olives, mayo, mustard, and some onions(I really dunno why I wanted onions, I always end up picking them off anyway) and then ask for a large raspberry iced tea and a bag of chips. After I'm all set, I turn to leave and hear Thalia whispering to John, who looks really pissed. I walk over to them and clear my throat.

"Hey uh, sorry if it seems I'm butting into your business, but are you two in some trouble?" They shake their heads.

"No no, it's just a family issue. Thanks again for signing my paper, Amy," Thalia says, smiling. Instead of smiling back, I look into her eyes and I see pain, and I really want to ask if they're okay, but decide against it when I catch John glaring. Yeesh, nice guy one minute and tough guy the next. Definitely a twenty-year old.

"Ah. Well I'm sorry I asked, then. I was just... Never mind. Maybe I'll see you at the concert tomorrow night, eh?" They nod, happiness once again shining in their eyes, and I smile and walk away. I sprint across the street, narrowly missing getting hit by a sleek black Mercedes, and then walk the rest of the way to the bus. I climb onto the bus and to my surprise, nobody's there. I sigh and eat my yummy Subway-Eat-Fresh food in peace. But it's short, because half-way through my bag of chips Taylor comes running into bus.

"Like oh my God!" she exclaims, and I look at her.

"Like oh my God, what?" I ask sarcastically. She slaps my arm and sits down next to me.

"I saw the hottest chick at Taco Bell! And and and she gave me her number and everything! AH!" she sighs and takes out a small piece of paper, and indeed there's a number on it. I smile and shake my head.

"Right, well I'm gonna go to the back. Oh hey, I wrote a new song, and I need you to help me with it. Coming?" She nods and together we walk to the back, and I play her the new song I wrote. After I'm done, she pulls out her bass and I play it again, this time with her joining in. It takes us all of but an hour before we've got it down perfectly, and after talking with Taylor about it I yell for Jeremy, Connor and Maggie. They all come back and after me and Taylor play, Maggie takes out her keyboard and adds stuff to it and Connor's already got the guitar down perfectly. After that, we all move the table into the sleeping hall way space thing and assemble Jeremy's drums. Well, technically they're Bob's, but they share them so whatever. And viola! We've got a new song all ready to go. Now we just have to practice it tomorrow before the show and we're all set. I smile and we all hug(like the nerds we are) except for Connor(he's not a very touchy person) and then Maggie makes her way back over to Frank and cuddles with him. Taylor walks up front and shoves a few tacos in her mouth(ha ha, she likes pusseh!) Connor puts his guitar away, grabs a Stephen King novel and climbs into his bunk, and Jeremy puts the drums away and moves the table back to it's original place. For some reason, I feel a little awkward around him now, and I think maybe it's because of my biting him earlier. I absolutely hate it! I hate feeling nervous or awkward or out-of-place around a guy. Especially a guy that I'm dating. It makes me feel..I dunno what it makes me feel. Other than the obvious awkwardness, y'know? I sigh heavily and sit back down on the couch, and soon Jeremy comes and sits next to me.

"Hey, you okay?" I force a weary smile out and nod, then sigh again.

"I met a couple kids while I was out. They're coming to our show tomorrow night.." I trail off and he nudges me, so I continue. "You should have seen them, Jer. I wanted to cry and hold them and just ugh!"

"So you.. what? Signed something, asked them about it and then left?" I nod. "Alright well, that's that then, right?"

"No no, that's not all." I look over at him and he raises a brow, and I look down at my feet. "I think we should give them backstage passes, Jeremy. They were..different, somehow. I dunno how exactly, but I just-"

"Felt it?" I smile and nod, and he chuckles. "Don't worry about it, Amy. I'll tell Gerard or Ray or someone and they'll set it up for the tickets. That's what you want, right?" When I nod again, he wraps me up in a hug and then leaves, and I make my way towards my bunk. I close my eyes as my head hits the pillow, and all I see is Thalia's radiant smile, John's glare, and the sandwich boy, all in one. I shake my head, trying to get rid of the picture, and roll over, then fall asleep.

Hey, sorry if it seems short or whatever. And if it seems like there's something missing, just let me know. Or if you have questions, ask meh! I'll answer :) seems that once you get past chapter ten they get harder and harder to write! ARGH!
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