Categories > Original > Humor


by trollopfop 6 reviews

Marie always knew she was special. Some quests, however, are simpler than others. (Oh, look! It's the Obligatory Mary Sue Parody!)

Category: Humor - Rating: PG - Genres: Parody - Published: 2006-04-10 - Updated: 2006-04-10 - 321 words - Complete

Marie was sure, in the moments when she was half-asleep, on the edge of a dream, that someone somewhere was trying to tell her something, to let her know that she was special. So when a dimensional portal opened up in her closet, she took it as a cosmic sign that she was chosen.

That was the way it happened in her novels, after all. The portal opened, and a chosen girl stepped through and saved the world. Sometimes they even let her stay in their world of magic and romance, sometimes she went back, but she'd always know that she'd been the chosen one, the savior. Personally, she thought she'd like to stay, no matter how strange the world she ended up in; anything was better than working at Wendy's.

"So what do you need me to do?" she said, as the first being stepped through. "Does some evil force need vanquishing? I have weapons!"

She unsheathed a sword bigger than she was (never hurt to be prepared, you know), swinging it wildly and inadvertantly decapitating one of the strange blue-skinned men that had come through to speak with her.

"Uh... sorry?" She shrugged, trying to look small and cute. "I guess I don't know my own strength..."

"Ah, miss--"

"Oh, I know! You need me to perform some healing magic! I've got this crystal, see, and I just knew it was special, so maybe if I wave it around a lot--"

"MISS!" The head on the floor was speaking to her. This was the coolest thing ever! It cleared its... throat?... and then continued. "We need--"

"A hero? A savior? A princess?"

"A cup. Of sugar."

"Oh." As Marie went into the kitchen to fulfill the terms of this depressingly simple quest, the head on the floor looked up at its companion.

"Next time, can we avoid the dimension of stupid? I swear, you and your gods-damned baking emergencies..."
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