FicWad

The next week, I was putting a big scoop of Gin’s aunts famous Mac and Cheese casserole on Sofia’s plate and noticed that Zoë looked at me like I was crazy.
“What is it Sugar Bear?” I said as I got another scoop, put it on a plate and handed it to Roman who began eating it quickly.
“Mommy I want to be a beegan.” Zoë stated.
“A beegan? Oh, you mean Vegan! Really Sugar Bear what brought this on?” I questioned.
“Uncle Andy said its good to be beegan.”
“Did he? And you think so?”
“Yes. Uncle Andy wouldn’t lie.” She stated matter of factly.
“Of course he wouldn’t. So, you’ve put thought into this. You want to do it?”
My 4 year old nodded her head sending her brown curls waving about. Gia then piped up and decided she wanted to be like uncle Andy as well.
“Alright if you’re sure my Bears then ok.” I said as I picked up the left over Mac and cheese after I served Isabella and Bronx some dinner.
“Mami! You forgot us!” Zoë said incredulously.
How dare I forget them? I laughed inwardly.
“No I didn’t silly girls. You guys are Vegan's now… you can’t eat that.” I said pointing to the casserole I had put on the island.
“WHAT!” Gia demanded.
“Why?” Zoë asked finishing her sisters thought.
“Well because Vegan's don’t eat cheese or chicken.”
“Why NOT!” Gia and Zoë stated at the same time.
“Because they don’t eat anything that comes from animals sillies.”
“Mommy don’t be silly those things don’t come from aminals.” Gia said as she rolled her eyes at me.
“Yea mommy don’t be silly.” Zoë added rolling her eyes.
“Oh really? Mommy’s silly? If they don’t come from animals where do they come from?” I asked playing along.
“The store.” Gia sighed rolling her eyes as if to say, Duh you’re a retard mom.
I burst out in a fit of laughter. I couldn’t help it these girls are too damn cute sometimes.
“Girls, it is true I did buy them from the store, but chicken was once an actual chicken and cheese come from cows milk.” I informed them they both just stared at me with big eyes.
“You mean like Chicken Little!” Zoë finally squeaked out.
“And Mary Moo Cow?!” Gia added.
“Yes and yes.” They both looked at me with tears in their eyes and I maybe felt a little bad.
My girls so sensitive to the world.
“So what can we eat?” Gia finally stated wiping a tear from her eye.
“You can eat lots of things. Like vegetables and rice and soy dairy.”
“You can’t eat ice cream either!” Rome stated though a forkful of food.
“No ICE CREAM!” The girls shouted and sat there looking very upset now.
"So we can never eat any ice cream mom? Or mac and cheese?”
“Not if you’re a Vegan.” Rome said with a slight smile.
“Well that’s not true remember when Uncle Andy let you have some of that soy ice cream he had? I remembered you guys did like that. And when he made us Mac and cheese at his house?” Sofia asked.
“But the Mac & Cheese was gross.” Gia complained.
“It tasted like feet.” Zoë added with a pout
"And how do you know what feet tastes like?"I asked as laughed loudly now.
"Because we had that mac & cheese." Sofi and Rome said together.
“Anyway- that’s what Vegans eat little ones. They don’t eat animal products. They have to substitute.”
“But I don’t wanna subsedude.” Zoë cried.
“Then don’t baby. Here.” I pushed my plate towards the both of them and clearing the plates the other 4 kids had left behind. The garage door opened and Patrick walked in to see his daughters at the table eating and crying at the same time. He looked at them confused then back at me questioningly I shrugged my shoulders and walked over to them.
“What’s wrong Care Bears?” He said kneeling down to them.
“Daddy did you know that chicken is a REAL chicken like Chicken Little and they get cheese from cows like Mary Moo Cow!” Zoë stated though tears.
“Ugh.” Patrick looked at me for some sort of sign as to what to say and I just turned and kept washing dishes.
“Yea baby I know."
“But that's so sad how can we EAT them.” Gia said crying as well.
Patrick looked at them lost. He didn’t know what to do so he just pulled them both in for hugs and rubbed their backs.
“We just do?” He answered in question form.
“But its sad!” they stated together.
“Well if you feel that way then don’t eat them.” He concluded.
“But we dont wanna eat stinky mac and cheese that taste like feet that Uncle Andy makes!” Gia cried and buried herself into her father’s neck.
“Well then…” He trailed off seriously at a loss of words.
Patrick didn’t know how to make this go away for his girls. I got sick of watching him sulk and that pitiful ‘I cant make the boo boo better’ face he was making so I stepped in.
“It’s ok to enjoy eating as long as you eat it all and never waste your food. You don’t have to feel bad babies. Maybe when your older you can give the vegan thing a try.”
“Really mommy?” Zoë asked hopeful.
“Yes."
"Will Uncle Andy be mad?" Gia asked with a pout.
"No baby he loves you no matter what."
"Really?" They asked.
"Yes. Now go play.” The girls smiled, kissed their dad and ran off to play with a wipe of their tears.
Patrick and I both gave a sigh of relief at the same time and looked at each other. For the first time we laughed at the same time and I sat in the chair slipping the plate and 2 forks in the sink.
"So let me get this Kosher. They're sad of what Andy thinks so they want to become Vegan's?" Patrick asked.
"Pretty much." I said getting up to wash that last plate and the forks.
"Where's everyone else?"
"I don't know, next door?"
"You look pretty today."
"How's the wedding planning coming along?"
Patrick rolled his eyes and walked over to pick at the Mac and cheese. That seemed to bore him after a minute so he came right back to bother me. They say like a moth to flame but in his case it was like that dog who had the electric collar on and kept getting zapped but still attempted to chase after that damn squirrel in the next garden. He slipped his hands on my waist and kissed my neck lightly.
"You smell even better than you look." He licked my neck then and my knees almost buckled under me. "you taste even better than you smell. Its like you keep getting better and better."
"Like that fine wine that you can't afford. " I said pushing him off me.
"Meanie." He pouted slightly and I saw something flicker in his eyes.
I think my eyes deceived me though.
The old Patrick was dead...Joe was right he no longer existed. All I have is this shell of a man....and I don't even have that. All I have are my memories of what he was, and most of those sucked anyway. He tried to get close again and I pulled out a knife from the water. He stepped back with his hands in the air.
"OK, you win." He laughed.
Then I got really confused.
Another flash of the old Patrick when he smiled.
MY Patrick.
"What are you even doing here?" I asked dangerously. I didn't want him to keep tricking me like this.
I might eventually just give in.
"I just came from Pete's. He was being stupid over song lyrics so I got mad then he got mad, he gave me a milkshake and sent me home. I drove by home and came here." Patrick looked around the house and smiled, "I like it here."
"But this isn't your home." I said as I watched him rummage through my fridge, "home is where the heart is and you know where that is." He said as he picked up some fruit and shoved it in his mouth.
I waited silently for him to continue. He looked at me and rolled his eyes annoyed at the fact that I had to tell him to close my fridge door. He then smiled slightly at the tons of pictures that were there of me and the kids. He picked his favorite one. Me, the kids on the grass in the back.
"You guys have always had my heart." He stated as he handed the picture to me.
I took the picture away and put it back on the fridge. I looked at him as if he'd gone nuts.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked as he ate another grape.
"Like what?" I demanded.
"Like you're looking at a stranger." He said lightly as he walked closer to me.
I froze in place..