Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Brother, Please Come Home To Me.
Brother, Please Come Home To Me.
5 reviewsDo you ever feel like there’s a piece of you that is missing?
5Moving
To get over potential writer‘s block, this came out. Not a one shot, Rates and Reviews are appreciated!(: xoxo
Do you ever feel like there’s a piece of you that is missing? That deep down inside you feel incomplete. And maybe, just maybe, someone out there has that missing piece, waiting patiently for the day they return it to you and make you whole again. That’s what I feel right now. There’s a part of me that’s always been missing, and I am incomplete. The only difference is, I know who has that missing half. I just hope he’s willing to give it back to me, and if he even remembers me. I pray every night he does, and that one day…One very special day, we’ll meet again. We have to. I need to feel whole again, and not waste my time wondering what would’ve been.
The sun is half way down as I sit on my roof and daydream about him. I haven’t seen him since I was little, and I wonder if he looks different now. He has to, I mean after all, it has been 10 years since I saw his young face. He was so caring, and so sweet. Never harmed anyone and I just want to know why he left.
Why he left me to be alone, and why my mama cries sometimes just thinking of him. I always think about him as well. There has to be a reason for why he left. I’m itching for answer, and I’m gonna find it. I just need to figure out a plan first, a very smart plan.
I just have to know what he’s doing now. If he’s living in a big house or living somewhere in the woods, like he used to imagine. I’m stuck. All I remember is the memories of us as children, I’m practically an adult now, obviously things have changed. He was such a good kid, what could possibly make him leave us? There was so much I needed to know, it’s gone unsolved long enough, and I’m determined to bring him back home. I didn’t even notice my best friend sitting next to me, so when I did I screamed.
Embarrassingly.
“Ray! How long have you been here?” He smiled.
“Long enough to know you’re attention span is pretty much non existent.”
“Shut up!” I smacked him playfully on the arm. His face turned serious and he put a hand on my shoulder.
“What’s on your mind Way?” He knew me way to well. I would pretty much be a loser/loner if Ray hadn’t come into my life. He’s irreplaceable.
“I’ve been thinking…about someone.”
“Yeah? Like who, a girl? The bum down the street? Mindy the stripper? Luscious the male prostitute? Bob?” I couldn’t help but laugh. Although Bob was my friend as well, he was pretty sexy. Not that I’m gay or anything, I just thought so. If you see him, you'd understand why.
“Ray! I’m serious.”
“I know, I know. Who?” He smiled his perfect smile.
“Gerard.” I said softly. I saw him raise an eyebrow.
“You’re b-brother?” I nodded.
“How come?” I took a deep breath and looked at him.
“I want to find him Ray.” His eyes narrowed.
“Find him?” I nodded once more.
“How on earth are you gonna do that?” I shrugged.
“I don’t know. But wherever my heart leads me, it will lead me to him.”
“Mikey this sounds crazy. Are you feeling alright?” He put a hand to my forehead, but I smacked it away.
“I know Ray. Please just listen.”
~~~~~~~
“Mikey are you even sure? How do you know he’s you know…alive?”
“Ray, he’s alive. I know he is. I know.”
“I’m not trying to be antagonist here, but I don’t see how you wanna find him after all these years.”
“Ray. Somewhere out there is my brother. A brother who could’ve been here for me while I grew up. Ya know, the brother who was really smart and popular. The brother who would protect me at school from the jocks, even the brother who liked to pick on me. Or just being there in general. I have to see why he couldn’t do that for me. I’m tired of pretending I’m an only child, when I’m not!” My voice cracked, and I resented it.
My parents never talked much about him. Its like they wanna forget him. What about me? Every night my mind goes back to the time I last saw him sitting our porch drawing a picture. Did he ever get a career drawing? Is he successful, is he still the same sweet caring person? I just couldn’t understand why I wasn’t able to have him in my life, and create the relationship every sibling should have. It just wasn’t fair to me.
“Have you mentioned this to your umm parents?” He whispered. I shook my head no sadly.
“I haven’t quite gotten to that part yet.”
“They won’t react kindly of course.”
“I know, but they’re gonna have to deal with the fact that I know. I want answers, and if they can’t give them to me, then I’m gonna have to find them on my own.” I said proudly and seriously. Even if I didn’t know what I was saying, it sounded so right coming out of my mouth and on my lips.
“You’re really serious about this aren’t you?” I nodded.
“Its been on my mind for a while now. Each day I grow more and more curious, and its eating me up inside. I keep seeing his face, and his stare. His hazel eyes haunt me when I try to go to sleep.”
“So how do you think you’re gonna find him now? He may look completely different then what he did as a child.”
“I’m aware of that, but he can’t look too different from me can he? He is my brother. We do share some of the same genes, I hope.”
“I still don’t know.” Ray muttered.
“I know I sound crazy, but I’m 18 for crying out loud. I think I can handle this. I’m missing some pieces, and I know he has them. I’ll search for a whole year, if it means being with him again. I wouldn’t be thinking about this for as long I have if there was no real purpose. Just a figment of my imagination. That’s certainly not the case, now is it?”
“I guess not.” He added. I layed my head back on the rough roof. I look up to the sky, and try to engage a conversation with the stars, and I wondered if they agreed with me.
“Raymond Manuel Toro Ortiz! Come home now!” I heard Mrs. Toro call from the next door. Ray cursed under his breath and I half smiled.
“Coming mom!” He called back. He looked back at me, and smiled.
“If you’re serious about this, I support you.” I grinned in relief. I bear hugged him, knowing he would never let me down.
“I knew you’d understand Ray. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“Well, a lot of people I know ask themselves the same question.” He smirked.
“Full of it.” I smacked his arm again.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow, alright? Don’t give up if you really feel it.” He spoke one last time before climbing down and I heard him shuffle in the grass as he met with his over protective mom.
“What have I told you about being out late like this? Its not safe!” She said rather dramatically.
“Mom I was only next door, I’m pretty sure my life wouldn’t be in that much danger if I took 10 steps outside.” I giggled as I heard Ray’s mom mutter in Spanish and the door slam. I continued lying on the roof and thought about my brother. I wanted to cry, as I realized I had no way of remembering him that much. I couldn’t recall us playing outside, or us fooling around in the house like most brothers. All I had was the sad memory of walking home from school, my mama crying as she stared at her cup of tea, and walking to room only find my brother’s closet empty. Not a single piece of clothing in site. No shoes, no drawing pad, no presence. He was gone. And I was alone.
“Why did you leave?” I whispered into the sky, hoping that wherever he was in the world, that maybe he thought of me too. That I crossed his mind once in a while, and if he missed me the way I missed him.
I got down from the roof eventually and walked back inside my house as I saw my mama putting the dishes away, and my father who was watching the game. I frowned as I walked back to my room and collapsed on my bed and grabbed a pillow and hugged it. This time silent tears soaked into my gray pillow as the room across the hall was no longer his room. It was my father’s office, and my mom’s station for her sewing. Completely destroying what used to be a child’s room. My brother’s room. It still felt weird to say.
Brother.
As I stared at my bedroom window, I slowly shut my eyes, just so I could pretend he was here with me. Sharing stories, and making me laugh. What a brother was supposed to do. But no dream could erase the sorrow that filled my heart, and the pain that filled my mind. All I wanted was him. The tears continued to fall...
“Please come home to me.” I begged.
Do you ever feel like there’s a piece of you that is missing? That deep down inside you feel incomplete. And maybe, just maybe, someone out there has that missing piece, waiting patiently for the day they return it to you and make you whole again. That’s what I feel right now. There’s a part of me that’s always been missing, and I am incomplete. The only difference is, I know who has that missing half. I just hope he’s willing to give it back to me, and if he even remembers me. I pray every night he does, and that one day…One very special day, we’ll meet again. We have to. I need to feel whole again, and not waste my time wondering what would’ve been.
The sun is half way down as I sit on my roof and daydream about him. I haven’t seen him since I was little, and I wonder if he looks different now. He has to, I mean after all, it has been 10 years since I saw his young face. He was so caring, and so sweet. Never harmed anyone and I just want to know why he left.
Why he left me to be alone, and why my mama cries sometimes just thinking of him. I always think about him as well. There has to be a reason for why he left. I’m itching for answer, and I’m gonna find it. I just need to figure out a plan first, a very smart plan.
I just have to know what he’s doing now. If he’s living in a big house or living somewhere in the woods, like he used to imagine. I’m stuck. All I remember is the memories of us as children, I’m practically an adult now, obviously things have changed. He was such a good kid, what could possibly make him leave us? There was so much I needed to know, it’s gone unsolved long enough, and I’m determined to bring him back home. I didn’t even notice my best friend sitting next to me, so when I did I screamed.
Embarrassingly.
“Ray! How long have you been here?” He smiled.
“Long enough to know you’re attention span is pretty much non existent.”
“Shut up!” I smacked him playfully on the arm. His face turned serious and he put a hand on my shoulder.
“What’s on your mind Way?” He knew me way to well. I would pretty much be a loser/loner if Ray hadn’t come into my life. He’s irreplaceable.
“I’ve been thinking…about someone.”
“Yeah? Like who, a girl? The bum down the street? Mindy the stripper? Luscious the male prostitute? Bob?” I couldn’t help but laugh. Although Bob was my friend as well, he was pretty sexy. Not that I’m gay or anything, I just thought so. If you see him, you'd understand why.
“Ray! I’m serious.”
“I know, I know. Who?” He smiled his perfect smile.
“Gerard.” I said softly. I saw him raise an eyebrow.
“You’re b-brother?” I nodded.
“How come?” I took a deep breath and looked at him.
“I want to find him Ray.” His eyes narrowed.
“Find him?” I nodded once more.
“How on earth are you gonna do that?” I shrugged.
“I don’t know. But wherever my heart leads me, it will lead me to him.”
“Mikey this sounds crazy. Are you feeling alright?” He put a hand to my forehead, but I smacked it away.
“I know Ray. Please just listen.”
~~~~~~~
“Mikey are you even sure? How do you know he’s you know…alive?”
“Ray, he’s alive. I know he is. I know.”
“I’m not trying to be antagonist here, but I don’t see how you wanna find him after all these years.”
“Ray. Somewhere out there is my brother. A brother who could’ve been here for me while I grew up. Ya know, the brother who was really smart and popular. The brother who would protect me at school from the jocks, even the brother who liked to pick on me. Or just being there in general. I have to see why he couldn’t do that for me. I’m tired of pretending I’m an only child, when I’m not!” My voice cracked, and I resented it.
My parents never talked much about him. Its like they wanna forget him. What about me? Every night my mind goes back to the time I last saw him sitting our porch drawing a picture. Did he ever get a career drawing? Is he successful, is he still the same sweet caring person? I just couldn’t understand why I wasn’t able to have him in my life, and create the relationship every sibling should have. It just wasn’t fair to me.
“Have you mentioned this to your umm parents?” He whispered. I shook my head no sadly.
“I haven’t quite gotten to that part yet.”
“They won’t react kindly of course.”
“I know, but they’re gonna have to deal with the fact that I know. I want answers, and if they can’t give them to me, then I’m gonna have to find them on my own.” I said proudly and seriously. Even if I didn’t know what I was saying, it sounded so right coming out of my mouth and on my lips.
“You’re really serious about this aren’t you?” I nodded.
“Its been on my mind for a while now. Each day I grow more and more curious, and its eating me up inside. I keep seeing his face, and his stare. His hazel eyes haunt me when I try to go to sleep.”
“So how do you think you’re gonna find him now? He may look completely different then what he did as a child.”
“I’m aware of that, but he can’t look too different from me can he? He is my brother. We do share some of the same genes, I hope.”
“I still don’t know.” Ray muttered.
“I know I sound crazy, but I’m 18 for crying out loud. I think I can handle this. I’m missing some pieces, and I know he has them. I’ll search for a whole year, if it means being with him again. I wouldn’t be thinking about this for as long I have if there was no real purpose. Just a figment of my imagination. That’s certainly not the case, now is it?”
“I guess not.” He added. I layed my head back on the rough roof. I look up to the sky, and try to engage a conversation with the stars, and I wondered if they agreed with me.
“Raymond Manuel Toro Ortiz! Come home now!” I heard Mrs. Toro call from the next door. Ray cursed under his breath and I half smiled.
“Coming mom!” He called back. He looked back at me, and smiled.
“If you’re serious about this, I support you.” I grinned in relief. I bear hugged him, knowing he would never let me down.
“I knew you’d understand Ray. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“Well, a lot of people I know ask themselves the same question.” He smirked.
“Full of it.” I smacked his arm again.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow, alright? Don’t give up if you really feel it.” He spoke one last time before climbing down and I heard him shuffle in the grass as he met with his over protective mom.
“What have I told you about being out late like this? Its not safe!” She said rather dramatically.
“Mom I was only next door, I’m pretty sure my life wouldn’t be in that much danger if I took 10 steps outside.” I giggled as I heard Ray’s mom mutter in Spanish and the door slam. I continued lying on the roof and thought about my brother. I wanted to cry, as I realized I had no way of remembering him that much. I couldn’t recall us playing outside, or us fooling around in the house like most brothers. All I had was the sad memory of walking home from school, my mama crying as she stared at her cup of tea, and walking to room only find my brother’s closet empty. Not a single piece of clothing in site. No shoes, no drawing pad, no presence. He was gone. And I was alone.
“Why did you leave?” I whispered into the sky, hoping that wherever he was in the world, that maybe he thought of me too. That I crossed his mind once in a while, and if he missed me the way I missed him.
I got down from the roof eventually and walked back inside my house as I saw my mama putting the dishes away, and my father who was watching the game. I frowned as I walked back to my room and collapsed on my bed and grabbed a pillow and hugged it. This time silent tears soaked into my gray pillow as the room across the hall was no longer his room. It was my father’s office, and my mom’s station for her sewing. Completely destroying what used to be a child’s room. My brother’s room. It still felt weird to say.
Brother.
As I stared at my bedroom window, I slowly shut my eyes, just so I could pretend he was here with me. Sharing stories, and making me laugh. What a brother was supposed to do. But no dream could erase the sorrow that filled my heart, and the pain that filled my mind. All I wanted was him. The tears continued to fall...
“Please come home to me.” I begged.
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