Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Speak of the Devil (Frerard)
Stop talking about fucking, we are at a pivotal point in the game
1Exciting
I know it's been forever, for that I'm sorry. No I would never just give up on this fic. It's the last couple of weeks of my school term so it's been an overload of tests and assignments. Also I got over halfway in writing this chapter when my computer decided to update and restart itself before I saved, so that put me off. Anyway, I decided to quit being dramatic and just re-write the damn thing. Enjoy....
26.
I don't care about Gerard anymore. I don't care about him when he goes out every night and comes home completely fucked, I don't care about him when he gets into fights at school nearly killing everyone, I don't care about him when he brings out his bags full of drugs and decides to play lucky dip, and I certainly don't care about him and the random guy he dragged down to the basement twenty minutes ago. He's out all night, doesn't tell Mikey or me where he's going. And then comes home, with some blonde, tall guy. "What the hell happened to Travis, huh? That's what I want to know." I said more to myself than Mikey, who was playing the Xbox on the floor in front of me. "I thought Travis was his new fuck thing? Whatever happened to him? Did he just forget already that not even a week ago he was ready to drop his pants and bend him over?" I kept on rambling. "Okay, one, stop being so graphic when it involves sex and my brother. Two, Gerard will probably fuck him too despite who he may be fucking now. And three," He sighs to emphasize his point. "Stop talking about fucking, we are at a pivotal point in the game, this is the last level we need to pass, eyes on the prize Frankie, eyes on the prize."
I walked the school halls with my eyes down. Today had started off badly and was proving to remain very consistent. My parents had started off the morning scolding me, telling me about what has happened to others who defied God and turned their back on Jesus, and all I had done was burn the toast. They don't know how to handle me anymore. It won't be too long now until I have to have a meeting with the Reverend again. I was on my way to the Art room, a place I had not ventured near since the day Gerard and I would no longer be referred to as Gerard and I. My maths teacher had sent the ever reliable Frank Iero to give a note to Ms. Taylor, the art teacher. Upon entering the room I was met with silence, she was isn't there and nor was anyone else, but there was an opened sketchbook on the table hinting that not too long ago there used to be. I left the note on the desk at the front of the room and on passing glanced at the sketches I could see. A vampire stood out from the page, telling me just like that who the book belonged to. I shouldn't have been surprised, art is probably the only subject Gerard actually turns up to. I ran my fingers along the imprinted lines in the page imagining Gerard holding his pen and making them. Pale smooth hands with long white fingers. I shook my head trying to brush off the thought and flicked through some of the pages. A girl eating a bat, a man crawling out from the gutter and a page scrawled with writing.
I stopped at the page and began to read some of the quickly written sentences in Gerard's messy handwriting. 'The slide of hips with the exchange of sweat, his pink tongue slipping into my mouth rolling with mine. The trails of saliva down my chest only to look up at me with big round eyes and a shy smile.' My mouth went dry. 'The light trail of hair down from his navel. The creaminess of his thighs. The biting of his lip. The color inked into his skin. The curve..' I hear sounds at the door and quickly move away from the open sketchbook before Gerard walks in with his head down. When he looks up we hold each other's gaze. It had been a long time since we had looked each other in the eyes so close. I finally decided to speak. "Do you know where Ms. Taylor is?" I asked in a wary voice, looking around the room as I spoke before returning my eyes to his face. "She's on an excursion. Won't be back until the end of the day." Gerard answers back, fiddling with his hair. "Oh... Well I had to give her a note, it's on her desk." I couldn't believe we were talking about this. I needed to hurry up and just get the fuck out of there. "I'll let her know then, you know, when she gets back." Gerard says awkwardly. "Cool, um thanks." I stayed standing where I was and Gerard and I just watched each other before I decided it was time to move. "Yep." I said nodding to myself and walked pass him to the door. Gerard did the same except moving over to his sketchbook. I paused at the door and watched him look at the page that was now on display. He tilted his head to the side and then began to turn around, I ran out of there before he could see I was still lingering.
The color inked into his skin. The color inked into his skin. He had to be talking about me. The only other people in the school that had tattoos were a couple of jocks. But in saying that, I have no idea who he meets up with and fucks when his out every night, I'm sure his met someone with tattoos along the way. It doesn't even matter though, what Gerard does now is none of my business and that's the way it has to stay.
The color inked into his skin.
Gerard walks home with Mikey and I, I've got a smoke in one hand and a coke in the other. Mikey's discussing the unfairness of males having their sex organs on the outside as compared to females, no kidding, his really talking about it, while Gerard and I walk silently beside him listening. I watch Gerard as he catches a whiff of my smoke and begins fumbling around in his pockets for his pack. When he finally finds it, he opens it only to see that it's empty. Without hesitation I put my cigarette between his lips and grab out another one for me. I don't say anything to him, he doesn't say anything to me, as if we're both trying to ignore the fact that a kind gesture actually passed between us. Gerard has a party to go to again tonight, but it's not till late. So while his here, he breaks out the weed and we all get incredibly high. I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy, but I'd also be lying if I said that I was completely okay with it. Everything is so much more funnier when your high, I don't even care that Gerard and I aren't together when I'm high. I get up and walk into the kitchen, looking for anything and everything to eat. Gerard must have followed me because his walked up behind me and is pressing me into the bench. I turn around and giggle, Gerard blinks slowly. He moves his head in and nuzzles my neck, nudging my chin with his nose for me to look up at him. We stare at each other through cloudy eyes, the only thing touching is our hips. We end up with our foreheads pressed together, eyes closed, breathing in each other's breath, until all of sudden he disappears, and reality soon hits.
He was gone again. Who knows where. Mikey and I do our typical thing, pizza, Xbox and DVDs. "So are you actually gay?" Mikey asks in the middle of a movie, leaving me in complete shock. "What?" I knew what he said but I had no idea how to answer. "Well before Gerard, you were all girls and boobs, well at least I think you were. You never really showed much interest now that I think about it, but you definitely claimed straight. But now what do you claim?" My first instinct was to tell Mikey that I am not gay. But, now that I myself thought about it, I didn't really know. I mean, Gerard was the only person period that I've been attracted to. I've seen girls and thought that they were pretty, but that's very different to the way I look at Gerard. As for being attracted to other guys, I never would have even thought about looking at them in that way before Gerard, so I can't really know. "I've pictured myself fucking a girl, then fucking a guy other than Gerard, they both seem wrong." I answered honestly. Mikey nodded. "Fucking a girl just seems gross to you, off limits yeah?" He asked. I nodded slowly, I just wasn't into that. "Fucking a guy seems better, but still wrong?" He instead asks. I nod again and sigh. Maybe I'm just doomed to be alone forever, can't fuck girls, can't fuck guys. I'm not straight nor gay and I lost my only exception to this rule. "Well, then you're gay." Mikey says bluntly. I look at him skeptically, we just established I thought it was wrong to fuck both genders, how does that make me gay? "Well you said that to fuck a guy was better." He says. "Yes Mikey, but I'd still feel wrong about doing it, I can't be gay if I can't even fuck a dude." Imagine my mother hearing her sweet boy calmly discuss this with his best friend, she'd die. "Your gay Frank, you fuck dudes, it's just you're also in love, so you only think about fucking one particular dude."
I couldn't stand it. Mikey and I had started taking turns in waiting up for a drunk Gerard. Tonight was my turn again. We usually just wait for him to get home, stay with him if he needs to vomit and then help him to bed. Unless that is if he has company, then we just make sure they don't start fucking until they're actually in the basement and not down the hall or in the kitchen. Tonight Gerard had brought home company again. "Thank you for helping me home." I heard Gerard slur. "No problem, how about I help you to your bed." It wasn't a question. I got up and headed towards them, just hoping that they would in fact make it to his bed. As I turned the corner though I recognized who he was with. His name was Liam, he beat me up one time for bumping into him. I couldn't stand it. He was a bad person, a bully. "Liam, I think you should go." I heard myself saying. He looked over to me, recognizing me from school. "I think you should fuck off Iero." He was still holding onto Gerard, but had no idea which way he should be pushing him. I walked closer to Gerard who looked at me and smiled, obviously not paying attention to the conversation. "Liam, let go of him and get out. His not fucking you tonight or any other night, so just leave." I said for once actually sounding intimidating. He let go of Gerard and walked over to me, telling me that I wasn't intimidating enough. "Listen you little punk ass piece of shit, why don't you leave, Gerard actually wants me here." He shoves me in the chest and I stumble back a few steps. "He does want me here." I say pathetically with my head down. "Whatever." He says, dismissing me and walking back over to Gerard, who's now leaning against the wall with his eyes shut. "What the fuck are you doing?" I say getting in between him and Gerard. "Get the fuck out I said. Leave already." It isn't till I hit the floor I realized I've been punched. Blood starting to pour from my nose. "Stupid midget fuck." He starts kicking me in the stomach. Gerard by then has tuned into what is going on.
With desperate eyes I watch him grab Liam from behind and slam him into the ground. From there he drops his knee into his stomach and punches him the face. I can tell from Gerard's expression his having trouble seeing him clearly, who knows what his on right now or how much alcohol's in his system. And then as lethargic as always, Mikey Way comes down the stairs in his t-shirt and boxers obviously just woken from his dreams. He walks over to where Gerard is hovering over Liam and moves him out the way. "Gerard, Frankie and I were wondering, could you get the fuck out?" Mikey says monotonously, as if bored with the situation. Liam gets to his feet, but not in the 'I'm going to leave' kind of way, but the 'I'm going to knock you out' kind of way. He obviously could see he had a chance, I'm tiny compared to him, Mikey's a twig and Gerard is half passing out. With one fluid motion Liam flew his fist at Mikey. Mikey, to my amazement, steps to the side of him quickly, grabbing his outstretched arm and twisting it behind his back. "You going to leave now?" Mikey asked. "Fuck you ahh." Mikey twisted his arm more and walks Liam towards the door. Before throwing him out he gives his arm one last twist and then kicks his foot into his back, causing Liam to fly out. I stared at Mikey in shock. "What?" He says smiling. "You didn't think Gerard wouldn't teach me how to take care of myself did you?" I continue to stare until I remember the blood pouring from my nose. "I need to get cleaned up." I say getting up from the ground and heading towards the bathroom. "Frankie?" I hear Gerard question. I turn and look at him now holding onto Mikey for support. "You know that kid?" He asked. I nod, "Yeah his name's Liam." "He go to our school?" I nod again. "He's so fucking dead tomorrow." I turn around again and keep walking, not wanting to think about the problems I will have to deal with tomorrow. "Come on Gee." I hear Mikey say. "Let's get you to bed."
Your thoughts always appreciated.
Rae.
26.
I don't care about Gerard anymore. I don't care about him when he goes out every night and comes home completely fucked, I don't care about him when he gets into fights at school nearly killing everyone, I don't care about him when he brings out his bags full of drugs and decides to play lucky dip, and I certainly don't care about him and the random guy he dragged down to the basement twenty minutes ago. He's out all night, doesn't tell Mikey or me where he's going. And then comes home, with some blonde, tall guy. "What the hell happened to Travis, huh? That's what I want to know." I said more to myself than Mikey, who was playing the Xbox on the floor in front of me. "I thought Travis was his new fuck thing? Whatever happened to him? Did he just forget already that not even a week ago he was ready to drop his pants and bend him over?" I kept on rambling. "Okay, one, stop being so graphic when it involves sex and my brother. Two, Gerard will probably fuck him too despite who he may be fucking now. And three," He sighs to emphasize his point. "Stop talking about fucking, we are at a pivotal point in the game, this is the last level we need to pass, eyes on the prize Frankie, eyes on the prize."
I walked the school halls with my eyes down. Today had started off badly and was proving to remain very consistent. My parents had started off the morning scolding me, telling me about what has happened to others who defied God and turned their back on Jesus, and all I had done was burn the toast. They don't know how to handle me anymore. It won't be too long now until I have to have a meeting with the Reverend again. I was on my way to the Art room, a place I had not ventured near since the day Gerard and I would no longer be referred to as Gerard and I. My maths teacher had sent the ever reliable Frank Iero to give a note to Ms. Taylor, the art teacher. Upon entering the room I was met with silence, she was isn't there and nor was anyone else, but there was an opened sketchbook on the table hinting that not too long ago there used to be. I left the note on the desk at the front of the room and on passing glanced at the sketches I could see. A vampire stood out from the page, telling me just like that who the book belonged to. I shouldn't have been surprised, art is probably the only subject Gerard actually turns up to. I ran my fingers along the imprinted lines in the page imagining Gerard holding his pen and making them. Pale smooth hands with long white fingers. I shook my head trying to brush off the thought and flicked through some of the pages. A girl eating a bat, a man crawling out from the gutter and a page scrawled with writing.
I stopped at the page and began to read some of the quickly written sentences in Gerard's messy handwriting. 'The slide of hips with the exchange of sweat, his pink tongue slipping into my mouth rolling with mine. The trails of saliva down my chest only to look up at me with big round eyes and a shy smile.' My mouth went dry. 'The light trail of hair down from his navel. The creaminess of his thighs. The biting of his lip. The color inked into his skin. The curve..' I hear sounds at the door and quickly move away from the open sketchbook before Gerard walks in with his head down. When he looks up we hold each other's gaze. It had been a long time since we had looked each other in the eyes so close. I finally decided to speak. "Do you know where Ms. Taylor is?" I asked in a wary voice, looking around the room as I spoke before returning my eyes to his face. "She's on an excursion. Won't be back until the end of the day." Gerard answers back, fiddling with his hair. "Oh... Well I had to give her a note, it's on her desk." I couldn't believe we were talking about this. I needed to hurry up and just get the fuck out of there. "I'll let her know then, you know, when she gets back." Gerard says awkwardly. "Cool, um thanks." I stayed standing where I was and Gerard and I just watched each other before I decided it was time to move. "Yep." I said nodding to myself and walked pass him to the door. Gerard did the same except moving over to his sketchbook. I paused at the door and watched him look at the page that was now on display. He tilted his head to the side and then began to turn around, I ran out of there before he could see I was still lingering.
The color inked into his skin. The color inked into his skin. He had to be talking about me. The only other people in the school that had tattoos were a couple of jocks. But in saying that, I have no idea who he meets up with and fucks when his out every night, I'm sure his met someone with tattoos along the way. It doesn't even matter though, what Gerard does now is none of my business and that's the way it has to stay.
The color inked into his skin.
Gerard walks home with Mikey and I, I've got a smoke in one hand and a coke in the other. Mikey's discussing the unfairness of males having their sex organs on the outside as compared to females, no kidding, his really talking about it, while Gerard and I walk silently beside him listening. I watch Gerard as he catches a whiff of my smoke and begins fumbling around in his pockets for his pack. When he finally finds it, he opens it only to see that it's empty. Without hesitation I put my cigarette between his lips and grab out another one for me. I don't say anything to him, he doesn't say anything to me, as if we're both trying to ignore the fact that a kind gesture actually passed between us. Gerard has a party to go to again tonight, but it's not till late. So while his here, he breaks out the weed and we all get incredibly high. I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy, but I'd also be lying if I said that I was completely okay with it. Everything is so much more funnier when your high, I don't even care that Gerard and I aren't together when I'm high. I get up and walk into the kitchen, looking for anything and everything to eat. Gerard must have followed me because his walked up behind me and is pressing me into the bench. I turn around and giggle, Gerard blinks slowly. He moves his head in and nuzzles my neck, nudging my chin with his nose for me to look up at him. We stare at each other through cloudy eyes, the only thing touching is our hips. We end up with our foreheads pressed together, eyes closed, breathing in each other's breath, until all of sudden he disappears, and reality soon hits.
He was gone again. Who knows where. Mikey and I do our typical thing, pizza, Xbox and DVDs. "So are you actually gay?" Mikey asks in the middle of a movie, leaving me in complete shock. "What?" I knew what he said but I had no idea how to answer. "Well before Gerard, you were all girls and boobs, well at least I think you were. You never really showed much interest now that I think about it, but you definitely claimed straight. But now what do you claim?" My first instinct was to tell Mikey that I am not gay. But, now that I myself thought about it, I didn't really know. I mean, Gerard was the only person period that I've been attracted to. I've seen girls and thought that they were pretty, but that's very different to the way I look at Gerard. As for being attracted to other guys, I never would have even thought about looking at them in that way before Gerard, so I can't really know. "I've pictured myself fucking a girl, then fucking a guy other than Gerard, they both seem wrong." I answered honestly. Mikey nodded. "Fucking a girl just seems gross to you, off limits yeah?" He asked. I nodded slowly, I just wasn't into that. "Fucking a guy seems better, but still wrong?" He instead asks. I nod again and sigh. Maybe I'm just doomed to be alone forever, can't fuck girls, can't fuck guys. I'm not straight nor gay and I lost my only exception to this rule. "Well, then you're gay." Mikey says bluntly. I look at him skeptically, we just established I thought it was wrong to fuck both genders, how does that make me gay? "Well you said that to fuck a guy was better." He says. "Yes Mikey, but I'd still feel wrong about doing it, I can't be gay if I can't even fuck a dude." Imagine my mother hearing her sweet boy calmly discuss this with his best friend, she'd die. "Your gay Frank, you fuck dudes, it's just you're also in love, so you only think about fucking one particular dude."
I couldn't stand it. Mikey and I had started taking turns in waiting up for a drunk Gerard. Tonight was my turn again. We usually just wait for him to get home, stay with him if he needs to vomit and then help him to bed. Unless that is if he has company, then we just make sure they don't start fucking until they're actually in the basement and not down the hall or in the kitchen. Tonight Gerard had brought home company again. "Thank you for helping me home." I heard Gerard slur. "No problem, how about I help you to your bed." It wasn't a question. I got up and headed towards them, just hoping that they would in fact make it to his bed. As I turned the corner though I recognized who he was with. His name was Liam, he beat me up one time for bumping into him. I couldn't stand it. He was a bad person, a bully. "Liam, I think you should go." I heard myself saying. He looked over to me, recognizing me from school. "I think you should fuck off Iero." He was still holding onto Gerard, but had no idea which way he should be pushing him. I walked closer to Gerard who looked at me and smiled, obviously not paying attention to the conversation. "Liam, let go of him and get out. His not fucking you tonight or any other night, so just leave." I said for once actually sounding intimidating. He let go of Gerard and walked over to me, telling me that I wasn't intimidating enough. "Listen you little punk ass piece of shit, why don't you leave, Gerard actually wants me here." He shoves me in the chest and I stumble back a few steps. "He does want me here." I say pathetically with my head down. "Whatever." He says, dismissing me and walking back over to Gerard, who's now leaning against the wall with his eyes shut. "What the fuck are you doing?" I say getting in between him and Gerard. "Get the fuck out I said. Leave already." It isn't till I hit the floor I realized I've been punched. Blood starting to pour from my nose. "Stupid midget fuck." He starts kicking me in the stomach. Gerard by then has tuned into what is going on.
With desperate eyes I watch him grab Liam from behind and slam him into the ground. From there he drops his knee into his stomach and punches him the face. I can tell from Gerard's expression his having trouble seeing him clearly, who knows what his on right now or how much alcohol's in his system. And then as lethargic as always, Mikey Way comes down the stairs in his t-shirt and boxers obviously just woken from his dreams. He walks over to where Gerard is hovering over Liam and moves him out the way. "Gerard, Frankie and I were wondering, could you get the fuck out?" Mikey says monotonously, as if bored with the situation. Liam gets to his feet, but not in the 'I'm going to leave' kind of way, but the 'I'm going to knock you out' kind of way. He obviously could see he had a chance, I'm tiny compared to him, Mikey's a twig and Gerard is half passing out. With one fluid motion Liam flew his fist at Mikey. Mikey, to my amazement, steps to the side of him quickly, grabbing his outstretched arm and twisting it behind his back. "You going to leave now?" Mikey asked. "Fuck you ahh." Mikey twisted his arm more and walks Liam towards the door. Before throwing him out he gives his arm one last twist and then kicks his foot into his back, causing Liam to fly out. I stared at Mikey in shock. "What?" He says smiling. "You didn't think Gerard wouldn't teach me how to take care of myself did you?" I continue to stare until I remember the blood pouring from my nose. "I need to get cleaned up." I say getting up from the ground and heading towards the bathroom. "Frankie?" I hear Gerard question. I turn and look at him now holding onto Mikey for support. "You know that kid?" He asked. I nod, "Yeah his name's Liam." "He go to our school?" I nod again. "He's so fucking dead tomorrow." I turn around again and keep walking, not wanting to think about the problems I will have to deal with tomorrow. "Come on Gee." I hear Mikey say. "Let's get you to bed."
Your thoughts always appreciated.
Rae.
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