Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Love Sucks (Re-Written)
I woke with the worst headache known to man. I’d heard about hangovers but never experience one till then. I kept my eyes closed, knowing Gerard’s tiny window would be enough to blast my head into pieces.
I didn’t hear anyone enter the room but the sinking of the bed was a dead giveaway.
‘Good morning.’ Gerard whispered. His voice seemed softer than silk.
‘There nothing good about it.’ I growled. I was glad he was whispering. My head pounded from the dead silence so I didn’t want to know what it’d be like if he spoke louder.
‘Take these.’ I felt him turn my hand palm up and put what felt like tablets there. He then placed his hand behind my head to sit me up.
I threw the pills in my mouth and accepted the water Gerard had gotten for me.
‘Thank you.’ I whispered.
‘Lay down till they kick in. I’ll come back and see how you’re feeling.’ He pecked my cheek and left again, closing his window and door.
I couldn’t sleep, having just woken up. I just lay in bed, thinking. Jamia slipped into my mind. I didn’t know what to do. Gerard’s advice helped a lot but I wasn’t sure how she was going to react. Would she hit me? Scream at me? Take it well? At that moment, my phone started to buzz, I must have put it on silent. I reached over to the bedside table and flipped it open.
‘Hello?’ I answered groggily.
‘Frank, can you please tell me what the fuck happened last night?’ Jamia still sounded pissed but calm.
‘I need to talk to you. Come over tonight okay?’
‘Sure. Are you okay? You sound sick.’ Everyone always worried about my health. It was a well known fact that I got sick very easily.
‘I’m fine. Mikey got me drunk last night.’
‘Well, okay. See you round 7?’
‘Sure. Bye.’ I didn’t wait for her to reply before I hung up. No doubt she would have said ‘Love you’ and I would have been obligated to say it back.
I heard the door creak open a bit, just enough so Gerard could stick his head in. He smiled before entering. He was, yet again, in just pajama pants. Today, they were deep blue with pink hearts on them, which made me think he had stolen them from either his mother or E-Jay.
‘Feeling better?’ He asked.
‘Much. Thank you again.’ I sat up slowly. Gerard helped me stand with one arm around my waist and the other gripping my hand.
‘I’ve helped a lot of drunks. It’s like second nature to me now.’ He said when I was able to stand on my own.
‘Still want to talk?’ He asked.
‘Umm…. About what?’ I giggled.
‘Do you remember anything from last night?’ He asked, smiling a tiny bit. The corners of his mouth just rising a little.
‘Little snippets but nothing solid.’
‘Tell me what you remember.’
‘Ummm…. Running, talking to you…. Drinking….. Fuck! Sorry, I didn’t mean to ask such a personal question!’ I covered my mouth in horror, re-calling the question I’d asked.
‘Its fine, Frankie. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I am what I am.’ He held his arms out wide, popping his hip out. The look on his face screamed ‘I’m hot and you know it’. I just laughed and walked passed him. I stopped at the stairs and turned to face him.
‘What's with the pants?’ I asked, the question had bugged me for a while.
‘Are you referring to the fact I’m in only pants or the pants design?’ He clarified.
‘Well, now you bring it up, both.’ I challenged.
‘Okay. I see no point in sleeping in shirts, they’re restricting and uncomfortable. And I like these, thank you very much.’ He smiled at me.
‘Little girly don’t you think?’
‘You’re looking at a gay man, Frankie. I don’t think I could be any girlier unless I got a sex change.’
‘Don’t do that.‘ I blurted out.
‘Although I wouldn’t, why would you want to stop me?’ Gerard eyed me.
‘I..I… don’t know.’ I muttered. Gerard just cracked a smile.
‘What's so funny?’ I snapped, not meaning to sound so harsh.
‘You’re cute when you’re flustered.’ He stated gently.
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap.’
‘Never apologize to me. I understand most things you’re going through. Especially the mood swings.’
‘You make it sound like I’m pregnant.’ I giggled.
‘Well, you can’t be. You’re a virgin. And I suggest we get upstairs before E-Jay hunts us down. She wants to teach you a dance.’
‘One, I’m not a virgin. And why me?’ I whined.
‘My kind of virgin. And I don’t know, but this will be interesting.’
He threw me over his shoulder when I refused to move. I yelled at him as he walked up the stairs, but I didn’t kick. I was afraid he would drop me or he’d get hurt.
‘Finally!’ E-Jay exclaimed.
‘Don’t argue with me, you will do this with me till I say stop.’ She said sternly, sounding a little like a drill sergeant.
After an hour of practice, I’d finally learned the worst dance ever. It was the dace from Everybody (Backstreets Back) by The Backstreet Boys. Gerard watched intently from the couch, as did Mikey. I actually had fun.
It was at least 3pm when Gerard turned on some random CD and danced with me. Twirling me around. He even dirty danced with me. I got so close to him, physically and mentally. I felt I could do anything with Gerard and he’d be fine with it. I was somewhat happy I was close to Gerard, even if it was just friends.
‘Who’s up for coffee?’ Mikey called when he’d obviously had enough of me and Gerard groping each other. Everyone shouted something out. I wasn't listening. I was too bust watching Gerard’s eyes twinkle. We drank at least 2 pots of coffee between the 4 of us. I hadn’t had coffee in 2 days and I needed a cigarette so baddly but I didn’t want to ask Gerard for one. Fortunately, Gerard pulled out a pack and lit one up. He was sitting next to me on the couch so I leaned over and took it from his lips. I placed it between my own and drew back the sweet, sweet toxins.
‘You can just ask hon.’ He giggled, lighting a new one. I just shrugged.
We switched on some mindless comedy, pissing ourselves the whole way through. I think it was called ‘Just For Laughs’. Whatever it was, I enjoyed it, mainly because Gerard was laughing and his laugh sent shivers down my spine.
For some reason, their phone seemed to go off at the worst times imaginable. Just as Jimmy Carr, a comedian I’d heard of, came on, the phone rang.
‘Mikey, go get that.’ Gerard said lazily.
‘You get it.’ Mikey said, his eyes glued to some chick in a mini skirt that was walking behind Jimmy.
‘Fine.’ Yet again, I found myself looking at his arse as he ran to get the phone. He took at least 5 minutes, though he returned with 4 beers. He chucked one to each of us before speaking.
‘Mums going to a convention in New York and won’t be back till Friday. She said Frankie is welcome to stay.’ He turned to me, the look on his face was heartbreaking. He was pleading me to stay with his eyes.
‘Yeah, stay here Frank! It’ll be fun!’ Mikey chimed. I looked between all their faces. Gerard was begging, Mikey was just smiling and E-Jay looked like she was going to die from trying to keep her laughter in.
‘Sure. But I have to talk to Jamia at 7 so I’ll go home then and get some stuff then come back.’
Gerard took my hand and dragged me into the hall.
‘You’re really going to do this tonight?’ he asked.
‘Sooner or later I have to do it so I figure, the sooner the better. There’s no point in leading her on then break her heart all over again.’ It made perfect sense to me but, by the looks on Gerard's face, he didn’t agree.
‘Maybe you should think it over. You make the cutest couple I’ve seen in a long time.’
‘Really? I thought we were the cutest couple.’ E-Jay suddenly appeared, leaning against the wall with a huge grin on her face.
‘I did say ‘in a long time’ so therefore, I am still correct.’ Gerard said, sticking his finger in the air.
‘Wait, you 2 dated?’ I asked in amazement.
‘Of course. I’m the reason he’s gay.’
‘And I thank you for that every day.’ Gerard smiled.
‘I’m confused.’ I admitted.
‘E-Jay was my first real girlfriend and she helped me discover my like for men.’ He explained.
‘Don’t forget I helped you tell your mum. That was an awkward conversation.’ She giggled.
‘I blame you for mum freaking out. You could have been more subtle!’
‘What's more subtle than ‘Your son loves dick’?’
‘EVERYTHING!’ Gerard yelled, making me jump.
‘Sorry.’ He whispered to me.
‘I’ll drop you home now. I’ve got someone to see in 5.’
It was a nice car ride home. Gerard laughed at me when I asked what I wanted to talk about last night.
‘Last thing you said before you passed out was ‘You seem soooooo happy’.’ He imitated my voice well.
‘Well you do seem happy.’ I defended myself.
‘That’s because I am. I’m sure Mikey told you it’s like my therapy, and it is.’ He took his eyes off the road and smiled at me.
‘Yeah, he did.’ I looked away from him and out the passenger window.
‘So then he also told you about my boyfriend.’ It wasn't a question.
‘Yes.’ I whispered.
‘You don’t have to be worried. You would have found out one way or another, from one Way or another.’ He giggled.
‘Can I ask how he died?’ I mentally slapped myself. Obviously he wasn't over his boyfriend.
‘Drug overdose I think. I’m not entirely sure. His parents didn’t approve of our relationship so I never got the full report. But he was surrounded by pill bottles.’ Again, he was calm. Either he was really good at hiding pain or he was over it. I watched his face. He did seem happy. His smile was one of pure joy.
‘Oh.’ Was all I could say.
‘You think I’m uncomfortable discussing this. Well, I’m not. Yes, I loved Bert with all my heart but he’s gone and he isn’t coming back. I’ll move on with my life, hopefully with someone by my side.’
Someone come sing with me :)
I didn’t hear anyone enter the room but the sinking of the bed was a dead giveaway.
‘Good morning.’ Gerard whispered. His voice seemed softer than silk.
‘There nothing good about it.’ I growled. I was glad he was whispering. My head pounded from the dead silence so I didn’t want to know what it’d be like if he spoke louder.
‘Take these.’ I felt him turn my hand palm up and put what felt like tablets there. He then placed his hand behind my head to sit me up.
I threw the pills in my mouth and accepted the water Gerard had gotten for me.
‘Thank you.’ I whispered.
‘Lay down till they kick in. I’ll come back and see how you’re feeling.’ He pecked my cheek and left again, closing his window and door.
I couldn’t sleep, having just woken up. I just lay in bed, thinking. Jamia slipped into my mind. I didn’t know what to do. Gerard’s advice helped a lot but I wasn’t sure how she was going to react. Would she hit me? Scream at me? Take it well? At that moment, my phone started to buzz, I must have put it on silent. I reached over to the bedside table and flipped it open.
‘Hello?’ I answered groggily.
‘Frank, can you please tell me what the fuck happened last night?’ Jamia still sounded pissed but calm.
‘I need to talk to you. Come over tonight okay?’
‘Sure. Are you okay? You sound sick.’ Everyone always worried about my health. It was a well known fact that I got sick very easily.
‘I’m fine. Mikey got me drunk last night.’
‘Well, okay. See you round 7?’
‘Sure. Bye.’ I didn’t wait for her to reply before I hung up. No doubt she would have said ‘Love you’ and I would have been obligated to say it back.
I heard the door creak open a bit, just enough so Gerard could stick his head in. He smiled before entering. He was, yet again, in just pajama pants. Today, they were deep blue with pink hearts on them, which made me think he had stolen them from either his mother or E-Jay.
‘Feeling better?’ He asked.
‘Much. Thank you again.’ I sat up slowly. Gerard helped me stand with one arm around my waist and the other gripping my hand.
‘I’ve helped a lot of drunks. It’s like second nature to me now.’ He said when I was able to stand on my own.
‘Still want to talk?’ He asked.
‘Umm…. About what?’ I giggled.
‘Do you remember anything from last night?’ He asked, smiling a tiny bit. The corners of his mouth just rising a little.
‘Little snippets but nothing solid.’
‘Tell me what you remember.’
‘Ummm…. Running, talking to you…. Drinking….. Fuck! Sorry, I didn’t mean to ask such a personal question!’ I covered my mouth in horror, re-calling the question I’d asked.
‘Its fine, Frankie. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I am what I am.’ He held his arms out wide, popping his hip out. The look on his face screamed ‘I’m hot and you know it’. I just laughed and walked passed him. I stopped at the stairs and turned to face him.
‘What's with the pants?’ I asked, the question had bugged me for a while.
‘Are you referring to the fact I’m in only pants or the pants design?’ He clarified.
‘Well, now you bring it up, both.’ I challenged.
‘Okay. I see no point in sleeping in shirts, they’re restricting and uncomfortable. And I like these, thank you very much.’ He smiled at me.
‘Little girly don’t you think?’
‘You’re looking at a gay man, Frankie. I don’t think I could be any girlier unless I got a sex change.’
‘Don’t do that.‘ I blurted out.
‘Although I wouldn’t, why would you want to stop me?’ Gerard eyed me.
‘I..I… don’t know.’ I muttered. Gerard just cracked a smile.
‘What's so funny?’ I snapped, not meaning to sound so harsh.
‘You’re cute when you’re flustered.’ He stated gently.
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap.’
‘Never apologize to me. I understand most things you’re going through. Especially the mood swings.’
‘You make it sound like I’m pregnant.’ I giggled.
‘Well, you can’t be. You’re a virgin. And I suggest we get upstairs before E-Jay hunts us down. She wants to teach you a dance.’
‘One, I’m not a virgin. And why me?’ I whined.
‘My kind of virgin. And I don’t know, but this will be interesting.’
He threw me over his shoulder when I refused to move. I yelled at him as he walked up the stairs, but I didn’t kick. I was afraid he would drop me or he’d get hurt.
‘Finally!’ E-Jay exclaimed.
‘Don’t argue with me, you will do this with me till I say stop.’ She said sternly, sounding a little like a drill sergeant.
After an hour of practice, I’d finally learned the worst dance ever. It was the dace from Everybody (Backstreets Back) by The Backstreet Boys. Gerard watched intently from the couch, as did Mikey. I actually had fun.
It was at least 3pm when Gerard turned on some random CD and danced with me. Twirling me around. He even dirty danced with me. I got so close to him, physically and mentally. I felt I could do anything with Gerard and he’d be fine with it. I was somewhat happy I was close to Gerard, even if it was just friends.
‘Who’s up for coffee?’ Mikey called when he’d obviously had enough of me and Gerard groping each other. Everyone shouted something out. I wasn't listening. I was too bust watching Gerard’s eyes twinkle. We drank at least 2 pots of coffee between the 4 of us. I hadn’t had coffee in 2 days and I needed a cigarette so baddly but I didn’t want to ask Gerard for one. Fortunately, Gerard pulled out a pack and lit one up. He was sitting next to me on the couch so I leaned over and took it from his lips. I placed it between my own and drew back the sweet, sweet toxins.
‘You can just ask hon.’ He giggled, lighting a new one. I just shrugged.
We switched on some mindless comedy, pissing ourselves the whole way through. I think it was called ‘Just For Laughs’. Whatever it was, I enjoyed it, mainly because Gerard was laughing and his laugh sent shivers down my spine.
For some reason, their phone seemed to go off at the worst times imaginable. Just as Jimmy Carr, a comedian I’d heard of, came on, the phone rang.
‘Mikey, go get that.’ Gerard said lazily.
‘You get it.’ Mikey said, his eyes glued to some chick in a mini skirt that was walking behind Jimmy.
‘Fine.’ Yet again, I found myself looking at his arse as he ran to get the phone. He took at least 5 minutes, though he returned with 4 beers. He chucked one to each of us before speaking.
‘Mums going to a convention in New York and won’t be back till Friday. She said Frankie is welcome to stay.’ He turned to me, the look on his face was heartbreaking. He was pleading me to stay with his eyes.
‘Yeah, stay here Frank! It’ll be fun!’ Mikey chimed. I looked between all their faces. Gerard was begging, Mikey was just smiling and E-Jay looked like she was going to die from trying to keep her laughter in.
‘Sure. But I have to talk to Jamia at 7 so I’ll go home then and get some stuff then come back.’
Gerard took my hand and dragged me into the hall.
‘You’re really going to do this tonight?’ he asked.
‘Sooner or later I have to do it so I figure, the sooner the better. There’s no point in leading her on then break her heart all over again.’ It made perfect sense to me but, by the looks on Gerard's face, he didn’t agree.
‘Maybe you should think it over. You make the cutest couple I’ve seen in a long time.’
‘Really? I thought we were the cutest couple.’ E-Jay suddenly appeared, leaning against the wall with a huge grin on her face.
‘I did say ‘in a long time’ so therefore, I am still correct.’ Gerard said, sticking his finger in the air.
‘Wait, you 2 dated?’ I asked in amazement.
‘Of course. I’m the reason he’s gay.’
‘And I thank you for that every day.’ Gerard smiled.
‘I’m confused.’ I admitted.
‘E-Jay was my first real girlfriend and she helped me discover my like for men.’ He explained.
‘Don’t forget I helped you tell your mum. That was an awkward conversation.’ She giggled.
‘I blame you for mum freaking out. You could have been more subtle!’
‘What's more subtle than ‘Your son loves dick’?’
‘EVERYTHING!’ Gerard yelled, making me jump.
‘Sorry.’ He whispered to me.
‘I’ll drop you home now. I’ve got someone to see in 5.’
It was a nice car ride home. Gerard laughed at me when I asked what I wanted to talk about last night.
‘Last thing you said before you passed out was ‘You seem soooooo happy’.’ He imitated my voice well.
‘Well you do seem happy.’ I defended myself.
‘That’s because I am. I’m sure Mikey told you it’s like my therapy, and it is.’ He took his eyes off the road and smiled at me.
‘Yeah, he did.’ I looked away from him and out the passenger window.
‘So then he also told you about my boyfriend.’ It wasn't a question.
‘Yes.’ I whispered.
‘You don’t have to be worried. You would have found out one way or another, from one Way or another.’ He giggled.
‘Can I ask how he died?’ I mentally slapped myself. Obviously he wasn't over his boyfriend.
‘Drug overdose I think. I’m not entirely sure. His parents didn’t approve of our relationship so I never got the full report. But he was surrounded by pill bottles.’ Again, he was calm. Either he was really good at hiding pain or he was over it. I watched his face. He did seem happy. His smile was one of pure joy.
‘Oh.’ Was all I could say.
‘You think I’m uncomfortable discussing this. Well, I’m not. Yes, I loved Bert with all my heart but he’s gone and he isn’t coming back. I’ll move on with my life, hopefully with someone by my side.’
Someone come sing with me :)
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