Categories > Original > Fantasy > Falling Up
It hurt. It hurt a lot. Being left behind, it was the most painful thing I had ever felt. My eyes widened as Dante glared at me, "We can't be together" he growled and I flinched, shutting my eyes for a second. "Why?" I asked and glared at him. Didn't he know he was hurting me? "Mind your own business that's why!" he snarled and my head shot up. It wasn't a right way to break up.
"Tell me" i said and stared at him. See my hatred darling, I hope it scars you.
"Lola, listen, OK? It's better you don't know!" Again, the growling, the snarling, oh how much it hurt.
I choked back a sob and glared at him. Calm. Quiet. Breath.
"OK, whatever, you weren't worth the waste of time" i growled and turned around. Just walk away, this is what he wanted, this is what he's getting. But my heart was really breaking.
"LOLA!" he shouted and my head flipped around.
'I'm sorry?"
It wasn't a statement, it was a question, he was asking if he said "I'm sorry" if everything would be better.
"Whatever" I mumbled and stomped over to the small road in the forest which led the way out. I wiped my eyes furiously. How could someone leave you without a good explanation? Easily a small voice inside my head said and I bit my lip. Don't cry.
Was this the 3rd person leaving me?
Yes, I guess it was.
My dad
My grandma
Now him
Do I dare say his name? Or will it hurt too much? I shut my eyes tight. Vanish. Shrink. I could sense danger, it was my sixth sense. A gift. I could tell when danger was near. I KNEW when danger was near. And now my whole body tingled. I burst into a run down the small path. I tripped and fell, right on top of a hiker who, gently pulled me up and turned to look at me.
"What's a girl like you doing in the woods all alone?" His voice was sweet, like melted sugar. It burned my ears. Was he my age? Maybe, he had no childlike features though.
"N-nothing" I stuttered and pushed past him, tomorrow was school and I had to go home soon.
I tripped again, over my own feet and scurried up. His eyes widened as I scratched my arm. A couple of drops of blood fell. I groaned and turned around, "Hey do you have a tissue I have a-"
He was gone. I sighed and again felt the tingling in my body. GO!
I ran again and stopped as I saw the highway. Some people stared at me in their cars. I knew I had the look of "Deer in the Headlights". I bared my teeth and walked down the edge of the highway. My body wasn't tingling anymore and I walked down safely. I just wanted to go home.
I walked down the end of the highway and down an empty road that had an air of being rarely walked on. I simply walked on, thinking about Him. I already missed him, and I mentally slapped my self.
No, you do not miss him, he is nothing, nothing, nothing........
My own voice inside my head drifted away and out of sight to my mind and I was nearing my house. Shaking fingers were taking a key out, turning the lock of the door, opening it. A foot stepped in clumsily, then another. Lips tightened, killing down a sob that threatened to escape. Was that really [/me/]? My fingers? My feet? My lips?
"Mom?" I called, trying to sound as happy as possible.
"Yes darling? I'm in the kitchen, you hungry? You missed dinner!" Her voice was brimming with happiness, the baby in her tummy was doing a good job at keeping her distracted from my sadness.
"No ma, it's OK, don't fret, wouldn't you rather sit down and read a book?" I suggested as I took of my shoes and coat, hanging it neatly.
My mom stumbled in, her belly big with a 8 month baby boy, "Are you OK honey? You sound down"
She was anxious as she saw my face, then she showed nothing but shock
"What happened?" she asked.
My eyes widened. How did my face look?
I forced a smile, grinding my teeth together to not frown, "Nothing Ma, absolutely nothing"
Her eyes narrowed, but she let it drop, "Must of been a trick of light, your face, just so dead like, it's nothing, OK dearest, are you sure you won't like anything to eat?"
"Yes, I'm sure ma, I better get to bed school, tomorrow, you understand" I averted her gaze and stomped upstairs, feeling her staring at my retreading back.
At the first chance I looked into the mirror, staring for what seemed for hours. The sadness was etched upon my face, glued into my eyes, nose, cheeks, lips and forehead. It wouldn't have been plainer if I had the words "I'm sad" tattooed onto my forehead. It was scary that I needed Him so much, how I was so upset after he left. No explanation.
It's better you do not know......
Not know he slept with some tramp?
I sighed, gazing at the girl who looked 74 but was really 17.
The shower was relaxing, the hot water burning my skin, turning it a bright red. The tears were going to wait for later , when I went to sleep and cried into the pillow so my mom wouldn't hear me. I heard the door slam and my mom's voices carried up the stairs. footsteps and the door slammed open.
"How are you lollipop?" my brother (Lucas) asked, smirking a bit.
"I told you to stop calling me that, for the last 14 years actually, and I'm bad, thank you for your fake concern"
He glared, narrowing his eyes, which I could barely see through his sleek platinum blond hair.
"Somebody's forgot to take their happy pills" he said in a sing song voice and walked away muttering.
I bit my lip. Depression now? Or was he joking? Serious thing to say, he knew I visited a therapist sometimes. He knew it hurt for me to know that I had problems. Emotional problems.
*
I woke up in a damp pillow, not bothering to look in the mirror, I would easily scar myself. I didn't care of seeing my perfect dirty blond hair, which fell in perfect waves, so close to being curly but still not, or seeing my startling green/blue/gray eyes. Nor, my ivory skin, which everyone loved. I was scared of seeing red puffy circles under my eyes, which would be blood shot, My face being drained of the little blood it had showing in it. My lips dry. I was scared to see my OWN self. Scared.
I trotted down stairs, after getting dressed, and pushed away my breakfast, keeping my head down. My step-dad stared at me (I never grew to like him), so did my mom, so did my brother, and after my baby brother would be born he would stare at me exactly like that too.
"L-Lola, you look horrible"
"Good morning to you to Mom" I grumbled and grabbed my backpack,
"Would you like to see Dr.Claussey?"
But I interrupted, furious,
"What think I'm insane?" I growled and turned away, slamming the door shut, the last thing I heard was my mom bursting into tears.
As I walked down the alleys, and streets I felt a terrible remorse.
"Tell me" i said and stared at him. See my hatred darling, I hope it scars you.
"Lola, listen, OK? It's better you don't know!" Again, the growling, the snarling, oh how much it hurt.
I choked back a sob and glared at him. Calm. Quiet. Breath.
"OK, whatever, you weren't worth the waste of time" i growled and turned around. Just walk away, this is what he wanted, this is what he's getting. But my heart was really breaking.
"LOLA!" he shouted and my head flipped around.
'I'm sorry?"
It wasn't a statement, it was a question, he was asking if he said "I'm sorry" if everything would be better.
"Whatever" I mumbled and stomped over to the small road in the forest which led the way out. I wiped my eyes furiously. How could someone leave you without a good explanation? Easily a small voice inside my head said and I bit my lip. Don't cry.
Was this the 3rd person leaving me?
Yes, I guess it was.
My dad
My grandma
Now him
Do I dare say his name? Or will it hurt too much? I shut my eyes tight. Vanish. Shrink. I could sense danger, it was my sixth sense. A gift. I could tell when danger was near. I KNEW when danger was near. And now my whole body tingled. I burst into a run down the small path. I tripped and fell, right on top of a hiker who, gently pulled me up and turned to look at me.
"What's a girl like you doing in the woods all alone?" His voice was sweet, like melted sugar. It burned my ears. Was he my age? Maybe, he had no childlike features though.
"N-nothing" I stuttered and pushed past him, tomorrow was school and I had to go home soon.
I tripped again, over my own feet and scurried up. His eyes widened as I scratched my arm. A couple of drops of blood fell. I groaned and turned around, "Hey do you have a tissue I have a-"
He was gone. I sighed and again felt the tingling in my body. GO!
I ran again and stopped as I saw the highway. Some people stared at me in their cars. I knew I had the look of "Deer in the Headlights". I bared my teeth and walked down the edge of the highway. My body wasn't tingling anymore and I walked down safely. I just wanted to go home.
I walked down the end of the highway and down an empty road that had an air of being rarely walked on. I simply walked on, thinking about Him. I already missed him, and I mentally slapped my self.
No, you do not miss him, he is nothing, nothing, nothing........
My own voice inside my head drifted away and out of sight to my mind and I was nearing my house. Shaking fingers were taking a key out, turning the lock of the door, opening it. A foot stepped in clumsily, then another. Lips tightened, killing down a sob that threatened to escape. Was that really [/me/]? My fingers? My feet? My lips?
"Mom?" I called, trying to sound as happy as possible.
"Yes darling? I'm in the kitchen, you hungry? You missed dinner!" Her voice was brimming with happiness, the baby in her tummy was doing a good job at keeping her distracted from my sadness.
"No ma, it's OK, don't fret, wouldn't you rather sit down and read a book?" I suggested as I took of my shoes and coat, hanging it neatly.
My mom stumbled in, her belly big with a 8 month baby boy, "Are you OK honey? You sound down"
She was anxious as she saw my face, then she showed nothing but shock
"What happened?" she asked.
My eyes widened. How did my face look?
I forced a smile, grinding my teeth together to not frown, "Nothing Ma, absolutely nothing"
Her eyes narrowed, but she let it drop, "Must of been a trick of light, your face, just so dead like, it's nothing, OK dearest, are you sure you won't like anything to eat?"
"Yes, I'm sure ma, I better get to bed school, tomorrow, you understand" I averted her gaze and stomped upstairs, feeling her staring at my retreading back.
At the first chance I looked into the mirror, staring for what seemed for hours. The sadness was etched upon my face, glued into my eyes, nose, cheeks, lips and forehead. It wouldn't have been plainer if I had the words "I'm sad" tattooed onto my forehead. It was scary that I needed Him so much, how I was so upset after he left. No explanation.
It's better you do not know......
Not know he slept with some tramp?
I sighed, gazing at the girl who looked 74 but was really 17.
The shower was relaxing, the hot water burning my skin, turning it a bright red. The tears were going to wait for later , when I went to sleep and cried into the pillow so my mom wouldn't hear me. I heard the door slam and my mom's voices carried up the stairs. footsteps and the door slammed open.
"How are you lollipop?" my brother (Lucas) asked, smirking a bit.
"I told you to stop calling me that, for the last 14 years actually, and I'm bad, thank you for your fake concern"
He glared, narrowing his eyes, which I could barely see through his sleek platinum blond hair.
"Somebody's forgot to take their happy pills" he said in a sing song voice and walked away muttering.
I bit my lip. Depression now? Or was he joking? Serious thing to say, he knew I visited a therapist sometimes. He knew it hurt for me to know that I had problems. Emotional problems.
*
I woke up in a damp pillow, not bothering to look in the mirror, I would easily scar myself. I didn't care of seeing my perfect dirty blond hair, which fell in perfect waves, so close to being curly but still not, or seeing my startling green/blue/gray eyes. Nor, my ivory skin, which everyone loved. I was scared of seeing red puffy circles under my eyes, which would be blood shot, My face being drained of the little blood it had showing in it. My lips dry. I was scared to see my OWN self. Scared.
I trotted down stairs, after getting dressed, and pushed away my breakfast, keeping my head down. My step-dad stared at me (I never grew to like him), so did my mom, so did my brother, and after my baby brother would be born he would stare at me exactly like that too.
"L-Lola, you look horrible"
"Good morning to you to Mom" I grumbled and grabbed my backpack,
"Would you like to see Dr.Claussey?"
But I interrupted, furious,
"What think I'm insane?" I growled and turned away, slamming the door shut, the last thing I heard was my mom bursting into tears.
As I walked down the alleys, and streets I felt a terrible remorse.
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