Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > The Patron Saint Of Liars And Fakes
I fell backwards onto my bed with a huff and closed my eyes. My life was so fucked up. Three different lives, one person. I couldn’t keep doing it. My mind was a mess.
“Lex, I’m sorry” Pete closed the door behind him and sat on the bed next to me.
“Pete, I’m not in the form right now” I breathed throwing my arm across my eyes.
“Can we talk about it?”
“No Pete, I’m not going to be your dirty little secret. I can’t be kept in the shadows.”
“I’m sorry I did that to you. I don’t know why I did it I just-”
“Just what?! Lost your goddamned mind?!” I sat up and glared at him as the door slammed open and Andy stood in the doorway glaring at Pete next to me. “Jesus CHRIST” I shouted “Can people please stop fucking slamming my door open?! And what the hell do you want?”
“I was just checking on you Lex” he didn’t take his eyes of Pete.
“Oh NOW you want to play the concerned ‘brother’ Andy” I hissed “You can’t pick and choose when you want to be my brother or-” His eyes snapped to me and his mouth popped open into a little oh shape.
“Alex don’t” He cut across me. He knew that I was going to say something about earlier. Pete’s eyes volleyed between us before he stood up and stormed out. I think he guessed what I was going to say after all. I shrugged my shoulders at Andy before lying back on my bed.
“Your playing a dangerous game Alex, I wouldn’t go there if I were you”
“Go where Andy? Go there with Pete?... Or with you?” His face twitched when I mentioned him.
“With Pete Alex” He replied not acknowledging the end of my sentence.
“Your so goddamn clueless And. You really had no clue did you?! I’ve been ‘going there’ with Pete for over two years. You’ve just been too blind to see anything. Not that it matters now because it’s over.” His face was contorted with rage.
“Two years?! But you were only 18 when it started and he was 28. Hes ten years older than you Alex, what were you thinking?!”
“And what were you thinking when you came onto me? Is 9 years older so much better yeah? I was thinking ‘wow a guy that actually takes notice of me for once’. My own father left me Andy. And after a lifetime of being ignored by men I was bloody ecstatic when Pete started showing me attention”
“But hes Pete, you knew what he was like and you were still hurt this morning when he dumped you” My anger flared.
“He did not dump ME. I dumped him because I was tired of being the doll in the box he only took out when he was bored and hid in the closet when there were others about. I will not be ANYBODYS clandestine affair.” I stood up and moved away from him. He grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me back onto the bed next to him.
“It won’t be like that with me Al. I swear” he pleaded gripping my wrist tightly.
“Let me GO” I shouted shaking my hand free and moving across the room away from him. “Don’t you swear anything to me Andrew. It’ll be EXACTLY like that with you. You proved that this morning when you violently shoved me away when you heard the door open downstairs. I just can’t do secrecy anymore. It’s driving me mad. If I’m with anyone I want it to be public. I want to be able to have a normal relationship. I want to go out to dinner and be seen by other people. I can’t be sneaking around in the dead of night anymore.”
“Lex I promise it’ll be like that with me. I swear it’ll be good.”
“Andy no. This-” I gestured between the two of us “can never work. Sure we could go public, but I don’t think I could take the criticism from people. Especially if it ended badly. I can’t take it.”
“Alex, I’m offering you everything you want and you won’t take it”
“No Andy, I can’t take it. It’ll never be a proper relationship you know that yourself.” He shook his head at me even though I could see it in his eyes that he agreed with me.
“Sorry Lex.” He mumbled before leaving.
“Jesus I should just go for women from now on” I huffed following Andy downstairs.
My heels clicked on the tiles as I headed for the kitchen. Four men looked up from the table as I entered and I stumbled to a halt just inside the door.
“Uh sorry, I’ll just… yeah-” I turned to leave before Patrick spoke up.
“Hey Lex, its okay, we’re intruding on your space, don’t mind us” he smiled sweetly. I saw Andy and Pete glare at him with such venom I feared for the mans life. Thank god my phone began to vibrate in my bra at that moment. (Have you ever seen pockets in a pencil skirt?! I think not!!) My manager’s name flashed up on my screen.
“I uh… have to take this” I stuttered clicking back down the hall and into the living room.
‘Alexis darling, how the hell are you sweetie?!’
‘Ah, William darling’ I replied instantly transforming into Alexis Di Milo ‘what do I owe the pleasure of this call to?’
‘Darling, darling I have a show for you to do, it’s a show at a club called Angels & Kings in Chicago, new club, barely a year old!’ I barely heard the rest of his sentence. My blood was pounding in my ears. That was Pete’s club. ‘specifically requested you when the owner called to get a performer’
‘Requested?’
‘Yeah baby, hes been looking for you for weeks apparently. You’re a hot commodity after your show in the Black Cat kid. Will I book you for it? Its next week Friday’ my mind worked in overdrive, surely the boys would want to meet Alexis Di Milo before the show. What the hell was I going to do?
‘Book me Will, this will be a show to remember’ I grinned
‘Wonderful darling’ he cooed ‘I’ll just call the owner back and let him know it’s on’
‘Brilliant, kisses Will darling’
‘Oh Al you’re a star, kisses’
I shoved my phone back in my bra before dropping on the couch with a sigh, I heard Pete’s phone ring in the kitchen and then the one sided conversation with William.
“Guys, we got Alexis Di Milo for the show on Friday” the guys actually cheered when Pete told them. If they only knew that Alexis Di Milo was sitting in the next room.
“Hey Alex” it was Patrick “Pete just got a call there; he got a really awesome performer for the club on Friday. Alexis Di Milo, I don’t know if you’ve heard of her but shes good. A burlesque dancer ya know. Do you want to come?... With me?...” I added nervously at the end. I couldn’t help bit smile, Patrick was like the sweetest guy you could ever meet.
“I’d love to Pat, but I’ll have to meet you there. I know Alexis Di Milo, quite well actually. I’m sure you’ll be surprised at just how well I know her” I grinned before standing up to pass Pat. He reached out and held my upper arm, turning me to face him.
‘Dear Jesus not again today’ was all I could think of before his lips met mine and he wrapped his hands around my waist. His lips forced mine open and I was shocked at the intensity of his kiss, he always seemed so timid. His tongue slipped against mine as he backed me against the wall and ran his fingers down my body and cupped my ass in his hands, pulling me closer against him. A stifled gasp broke us apart, my cheeks glowed red as I saw the other three guys standing in the doorway. I dropped my gaze to the floor and moved away from Patrick. He grabbed my hand and pulled me back to him and kissed me tenderly. In front of the guys. My heart sang at the thought that Patrick wasn’t embarrassed of me and wanted people knowing how he felt about me. He didn’t push me away and for that, I was whole.
I am Alexandra Klassen and I think I am found.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought my lips close to his ear. “Lest see if you still feel like this after Friday” I breathed before letting him go and pushing past the guys.
I am Alexandra Klassen and I am found. I am whole and I am one.
What are people gonna think when they find out who I am.
“Lex, I’m sorry” Pete closed the door behind him and sat on the bed next to me.
“Pete, I’m not in the form right now” I breathed throwing my arm across my eyes.
“Can we talk about it?”
“No Pete, I’m not going to be your dirty little secret. I can’t be kept in the shadows.”
“I’m sorry I did that to you. I don’t know why I did it I just-”
“Just what?! Lost your goddamned mind?!” I sat up and glared at him as the door slammed open and Andy stood in the doorway glaring at Pete next to me. “Jesus CHRIST” I shouted “Can people please stop fucking slamming my door open?! And what the hell do you want?”
“I was just checking on you Lex” he didn’t take his eyes of Pete.
“Oh NOW you want to play the concerned ‘brother’ Andy” I hissed “You can’t pick and choose when you want to be my brother or-” His eyes snapped to me and his mouth popped open into a little oh shape.
“Alex don’t” He cut across me. He knew that I was going to say something about earlier. Pete’s eyes volleyed between us before he stood up and stormed out. I think he guessed what I was going to say after all. I shrugged my shoulders at Andy before lying back on my bed.
“Your playing a dangerous game Alex, I wouldn’t go there if I were you”
“Go where Andy? Go there with Pete?... Or with you?” His face twitched when I mentioned him.
“With Pete Alex” He replied not acknowledging the end of my sentence.
“Your so goddamn clueless And. You really had no clue did you?! I’ve been ‘going there’ with Pete for over two years. You’ve just been too blind to see anything. Not that it matters now because it’s over.” His face was contorted with rage.
“Two years?! But you were only 18 when it started and he was 28. Hes ten years older than you Alex, what were you thinking?!”
“And what were you thinking when you came onto me? Is 9 years older so much better yeah? I was thinking ‘wow a guy that actually takes notice of me for once’. My own father left me Andy. And after a lifetime of being ignored by men I was bloody ecstatic when Pete started showing me attention”
“But hes Pete, you knew what he was like and you were still hurt this morning when he dumped you” My anger flared.
“He did not dump ME. I dumped him because I was tired of being the doll in the box he only took out when he was bored and hid in the closet when there were others about. I will not be ANYBODYS clandestine affair.” I stood up and moved away from him. He grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me back onto the bed next to him.
“It won’t be like that with me Al. I swear” he pleaded gripping my wrist tightly.
“Let me GO” I shouted shaking my hand free and moving across the room away from him. “Don’t you swear anything to me Andrew. It’ll be EXACTLY like that with you. You proved that this morning when you violently shoved me away when you heard the door open downstairs. I just can’t do secrecy anymore. It’s driving me mad. If I’m with anyone I want it to be public. I want to be able to have a normal relationship. I want to go out to dinner and be seen by other people. I can’t be sneaking around in the dead of night anymore.”
“Lex I promise it’ll be like that with me. I swear it’ll be good.”
“Andy no. This-” I gestured between the two of us “can never work. Sure we could go public, but I don’t think I could take the criticism from people. Especially if it ended badly. I can’t take it.”
“Alex, I’m offering you everything you want and you won’t take it”
“No Andy, I can’t take it. It’ll never be a proper relationship you know that yourself.” He shook his head at me even though I could see it in his eyes that he agreed with me.
“Sorry Lex.” He mumbled before leaving.
“Jesus I should just go for women from now on” I huffed following Andy downstairs.
My heels clicked on the tiles as I headed for the kitchen. Four men looked up from the table as I entered and I stumbled to a halt just inside the door.
“Uh sorry, I’ll just… yeah-” I turned to leave before Patrick spoke up.
“Hey Lex, its okay, we’re intruding on your space, don’t mind us” he smiled sweetly. I saw Andy and Pete glare at him with such venom I feared for the mans life. Thank god my phone began to vibrate in my bra at that moment. (Have you ever seen pockets in a pencil skirt?! I think not!!) My manager’s name flashed up on my screen.
“I uh… have to take this” I stuttered clicking back down the hall and into the living room.
‘Alexis darling, how the hell are you sweetie?!’
‘Ah, William darling’ I replied instantly transforming into Alexis Di Milo ‘what do I owe the pleasure of this call to?’
‘Darling, darling I have a show for you to do, it’s a show at a club called Angels & Kings in Chicago, new club, barely a year old!’ I barely heard the rest of his sentence. My blood was pounding in my ears. That was Pete’s club. ‘specifically requested you when the owner called to get a performer’
‘Requested?’
‘Yeah baby, hes been looking for you for weeks apparently. You’re a hot commodity after your show in the Black Cat kid. Will I book you for it? Its next week Friday’ my mind worked in overdrive, surely the boys would want to meet Alexis Di Milo before the show. What the hell was I going to do?
‘Book me Will, this will be a show to remember’ I grinned
‘Wonderful darling’ he cooed ‘I’ll just call the owner back and let him know it’s on’
‘Brilliant, kisses Will darling’
‘Oh Al you’re a star, kisses’
I shoved my phone back in my bra before dropping on the couch with a sigh, I heard Pete’s phone ring in the kitchen and then the one sided conversation with William.
“Guys, we got Alexis Di Milo for the show on Friday” the guys actually cheered when Pete told them. If they only knew that Alexis Di Milo was sitting in the next room.
“Hey Alex” it was Patrick “Pete just got a call there; he got a really awesome performer for the club on Friday. Alexis Di Milo, I don’t know if you’ve heard of her but shes good. A burlesque dancer ya know. Do you want to come?... With me?...” I added nervously at the end. I couldn’t help bit smile, Patrick was like the sweetest guy you could ever meet.
“I’d love to Pat, but I’ll have to meet you there. I know Alexis Di Milo, quite well actually. I’m sure you’ll be surprised at just how well I know her” I grinned before standing up to pass Pat. He reached out and held my upper arm, turning me to face him.
‘Dear Jesus not again today’ was all I could think of before his lips met mine and he wrapped his hands around my waist. His lips forced mine open and I was shocked at the intensity of his kiss, he always seemed so timid. His tongue slipped against mine as he backed me against the wall and ran his fingers down my body and cupped my ass in his hands, pulling me closer against him. A stifled gasp broke us apart, my cheeks glowed red as I saw the other three guys standing in the doorway. I dropped my gaze to the floor and moved away from Patrick. He grabbed my hand and pulled me back to him and kissed me tenderly. In front of the guys. My heart sang at the thought that Patrick wasn’t embarrassed of me and wanted people knowing how he felt about me. He didn’t push me away and for that, I was whole.
I am Alexandra Klassen and I think I am found.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought my lips close to his ear. “Lest see if you still feel like this after Friday” I breathed before letting him go and pushing past the guys.
I am Alexandra Klassen and I am found. I am whole and I am one.
What are people gonna think when they find out who I am.
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