Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Multicoloured Notebook
Sorry guys! This is literally an entry from me. Right now, I'm super sorry but I will not be writing this much longer, I mean, I may come back to it but right now I have problems. Not just fucking wee problems, problems like self-injury and 'depression' I say it like that because I am not diagnosed and therefore do not know if I have been suffering from it for around 2 and a half years.
I used to write poems and songs a long time ago to release my shit, I moved onto stories and well that leads us here but right now, writing isn't doing anything for me, it is no more an outlet. I feel like an old woman when I'm really 12, well 13 in one month. I'm going to try and get help, like proper help. I'm not going to go all "First I need to realise I have a problem". I know I have a problem and I'm somewhat sick, I've always known - I'm just scared. That is what is holding me back from getting everything back to normal; fear. I know I'm just rambling on now. I might write a few one shots still and probably even continue some of my stories.
So yes, my to-do list:
Get over the fear I have to tell my mother I need help.
Stop self-injury.
Stop being mentally insane. Quite literally.
No matter how many times I've said before I will get help, I really plan to now. Even if I decide to tell next month or so, I will do it. I don't want my life to end now. I guess alot of people these days who "want to die" need to realise how amazing life really is and how they actually don't want to die but they don't realise that until they are literally slipping away; dying. I've felt that. I've always been obsessed with death. But some people really need to realise what death actually is. It isn't just disappearing for a while and coming back, there is NO coming back. Obviously, we ALL know that, but some just don't realise if you get me. I want to help people, I've always wanted to help people but we all know the saying "you can't help another if you can't help yourself".
Sorry for this super long, rambling, depressing note!
Live long motherfuckers xoxo.
F.
I used to write poems and songs a long time ago to release my shit, I moved onto stories and well that leads us here but right now, writing isn't doing anything for me, it is no more an outlet. I feel like an old woman when I'm really 12, well 13 in one month. I'm going to try and get help, like proper help. I'm not going to go all "First I need to realise I have a problem". I know I have a problem and I'm somewhat sick, I've always known - I'm just scared. That is what is holding me back from getting everything back to normal; fear. I know I'm just rambling on now. I might write a few one shots still and probably even continue some of my stories.
So yes, my to-do list:
Get over the fear I have to tell my mother I need help.
Stop self-injury.
Stop being mentally insane. Quite literally.
No matter how many times I've said before I will get help, I really plan to now. Even if I decide to tell next month or so, I will do it. I don't want my life to end now. I guess alot of people these days who "want to die" need to realise how amazing life really is and how they actually don't want to die but they don't realise that until they are literally slipping away; dying. I've felt that. I've always been obsessed with death. But some people really need to realise what death actually is. It isn't just disappearing for a while and coming back, there is NO coming back. Obviously, we ALL know that, but some just don't realise if you get me. I want to help people, I've always wanted to help people but we all know the saying "you can't help another if you can't help yourself".
Sorry for this super long, rambling, depressing note!
Live long motherfuckers xoxo.
F.
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