Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Loving You Only Hurts Me More
"Hey..." I said confused as I arrived at my house to see Frank already waiting outside, hands in his pockets, his face half covered in his coat.
"I was already on my way round here to see you anyway." He smiled.
"Why?"
He shurgged, "I don't know. I wanna spend a lot of time with you, I still feel bad that I never gave you a chance to be my friend."
I smiled as I walked to my front door, my key in my hand. Frank followed behind me.
"Okay, cool. I guess. Come on lets go inside I'm freezing." I unlocked the door, and stepped inside, as did Frank.
When I took off my shoes and hoodie, I went into the kitchen to make some coffee, "You want some?" I asked Frank. He nodded, while still shivering a little.
"It'll warm up soon." He nodded at my comment.
When I had made the coffee, we went into the living room, and turned on the TV, only putting on some music, just to have in the background while we talked.
"So, you and Gerard aren't together anymore?" He asked nervously.
I sighed, "No. We both think it's best if we were just friends. I think he still likes Eliza anyway. It was just never going to work. We're more like brother and sister than boyfriend and girlfriend."
He nodded, "Yeah, that's what I thought. I thought it was weird that you two got together, but, if it wouldn't have worked out then there isn't anything you can do about it."
I smiled at him. I didn't want to lie to him, but I didn't want to pretend anymore.
"To be honest, as we're talking about relationships, I don't think me and Jade are gonna last much longer."
My heart rate increased, "Really? How come?"
He sighed and shrugged, "I guess I'm now realizing that...she isn't the one for me anymore. Actually, I don't think she's ever been the one for me. God, why am I with her? She's not my type at all."
"Well...who is your type?" I asked, making my heart beat just that little bit faster.
He raised his eyes, so they met mine, "You are." He whispered.
I felt my face heat up as the two words sunk in, "Me?"
He nodded, "Yeah..."
After a long moment of staring into each other's eyes, we both moved in towards each other, but before anything could happen, there was a loud bang on the front door.
Me and Frank quickly separated, and I jumped off the chair to answer the door.
"Hi." I greeted Gerard, Mikey, Ray and Bob.
"Hey!" They said back.
I stood aside to let them in. They all took off their shoes and coats, and went into the living room where they found Frank.
"Hey, didn't know you were here." Ray said.
I sat back down, but this time, a little further away from Frank. It had all of a sudden become awkward.
"Yeah. I wanted to come see Lizzy, cheer her up."
They nodded, and soon we became deep in conversation for nothing important.
"I can't believe you and Lizzy aren't together anymore. I thought it was weird you two going out anyway but..." Bob said, acting shocked that we weren't together.
Gerard rubbed the back of his neck, "I know, but it's best if we stayed friends."
I nodded, "And he still likes Eliza." Gerard gave me a sympathetic look, "Don't worry, I'm totally fine with it."
He smiled and stood up and hugged me. I hugged back.
It was silent for a minute or two until I broke it.
"Oh god, I need to buy something for the twins birthday. Great."
A few laughs escaped the mouths of my friends, "You hate them don't you?"
I nodded, "So much. But, nine years old, one year closer to being even more annoying."
There a little more laughter, but it soon stopped, "Wait? Nine?" Mikey asked.
I nodded, confused, "Yeah, why?"
They all shrugged, except Frank. Because of him, I found something I should have realized much, much sooner than this.
"I don't mean for this to come out harsh or anything but...your mom died eight years ago."
Yeah, she died eight years ago. Which means Luke and John would only have been almost one year old. But, my dad is also their dad...which means...
"My dad had an affair." I whispered, close to tears.
Just as I said that, dad, Shania and the twins came through the front door.
"Hey Lizzy and her friends, you okay?" Dad asked me.
"I hate you." I whispered.
Dad furrowed his eyebrows, "I'm sorry?"
Then I flipped, "I HATE YOU!" I jumped up and ran to him, hitting him in any place I could find, "I HATE YOU, I FUCKING HATE YOU!"
I heard my friends get to their feet, and pulled me away from my confused dad.
"We'll be back later." I heard Shania say, and she led her and the boys out of the house.
Bob had hold of me, and he led me back to the couch. Dad sat down in an armchair oppisite.
"Now honey, are you going to tell me what's wrong?" He asked.
"John and Luke are nine. You are their father. Mom died eight years ago, meaning they would have been nearly one. If you are their father, that would mean you were with Shania the same time you were with mom. You had an affair didn't you?" I choked.
Dad never said anything, but it was his silence that gave me the answer I needed.
"I'm sorry Lizzy."
I shrugged, "Sorry isn't gonna change anything. I just wanna know why?"
Dad sighed, "I don't know. I did love your mom, I really did...can we talk about this when your friends have gone home?"
I shook my head, "No, they're staying. If they went home, I would only tell them tomorrow."
He nodded, and continued, "I did love your mom. But, it was all becoming the same. I wake up, go to work, come home, talk to your mother while making dinner, spend time with you, go to bed, the same routine. I wanted something different. I met Shania, and things just took off from there."
"How long had it been going on?"
"Three years. Two while I was with your mom, one after she died."
I sniffled, "Fine. I don't get it. I thought you and mom were happy, but the whole time you were lying to her." I stood up and went to walk away, when his voice stopped me.
"Wait, there's something else I think you should know."
I turned around and gestured for him to go on.
"I feel so guilty. I know now that I could have stopped it. I should have told you sooner."
"Oh spit it out dad!" I snapped.
He sighed, "The night your mom died...someone broke in the house and killed her."
"I know, I had to listen to the judge tell the whole stories a million times in court."
"Well, that night. She called me. She asked me to help her. She sounded paniky, and scared, but I thought she was just having trouble with the knew dishwasher. I told her I was busy with work...but I wasn't...I was with Shania."
I blinked. Could he be saying what I think he's saying?
"So...if you had bothered to come home when mom asked...she might still be alive?"
"Maybe, yeah."
I felt numb. Now I know the reason why my dad wasn't there when she died. He was busy fucking that slut.
I looked around the room briefly, and saw all the sympathetic looks from my friends. I didn't want their sympathy.
"Lizzy?" Dad called to me, trying to take hold of my hand.
I pulled my hand away quickly, "Don't touch me."
"Lizzy, please. I'm sorry."
"Save it..." I went to walk away again.
"Lizzy, please forgive me. If I had known, I would have come home, I promise."
I ignored him.
"Come on. It's not like I killed her!"
I stopped and turned round, "YOU MAY AS WELL HAVE! YOU LET HER DIE! YOU DID KILL HER! I HATE YOU!"
Tears stung my eyes as I ran up the stairs into my bedroom, locking the door behind me.
I fell to the floor, and cried.
"I was already on my way round here to see you anyway." He smiled.
"Why?"
He shurgged, "I don't know. I wanna spend a lot of time with you, I still feel bad that I never gave you a chance to be my friend."
I smiled as I walked to my front door, my key in my hand. Frank followed behind me.
"Okay, cool. I guess. Come on lets go inside I'm freezing." I unlocked the door, and stepped inside, as did Frank.
When I took off my shoes and hoodie, I went into the kitchen to make some coffee, "You want some?" I asked Frank. He nodded, while still shivering a little.
"It'll warm up soon." He nodded at my comment.
When I had made the coffee, we went into the living room, and turned on the TV, only putting on some music, just to have in the background while we talked.
"So, you and Gerard aren't together anymore?" He asked nervously.
I sighed, "No. We both think it's best if we were just friends. I think he still likes Eliza anyway. It was just never going to work. We're more like brother and sister than boyfriend and girlfriend."
He nodded, "Yeah, that's what I thought. I thought it was weird that you two got together, but, if it wouldn't have worked out then there isn't anything you can do about it."
I smiled at him. I didn't want to lie to him, but I didn't want to pretend anymore.
"To be honest, as we're talking about relationships, I don't think me and Jade are gonna last much longer."
My heart rate increased, "Really? How come?"
He sighed and shrugged, "I guess I'm now realizing that...she isn't the one for me anymore. Actually, I don't think she's ever been the one for me. God, why am I with her? She's not my type at all."
"Well...who is your type?" I asked, making my heart beat just that little bit faster.
He raised his eyes, so they met mine, "You are." He whispered.
I felt my face heat up as the two words sunk in, "Me?"
He nodded, "Yeah..."
After a long moment of staring into each other's eyes, we both moved in towards each other, but before anything could happen, there was a loud bang on the front door.
Me and Frank quickly separated, and I jumped off the chair to answer the door.
"Hi." I greeted Gerard, Mikey, Ray and Bob.
"Hey!" They said back.
I stood aside to let them in. They all took off their shoes and coats, and went into the living room where they found Frank.
"Hey, didn't know you were here." Ray said.
I sat back down, but this time, a little further away from Frank. It had all of a sudden become awkward.
"Yeah. I wanted to come see Lizzy, cheer her up."
They nodded, and soon we became deep in conversation for nothing important.
"I can't believe you and Lizzy aren't together anymore. I thought it was weird you two going out anyway but..." Bob said, acting shocked that we weren't together.
Gerard rubbed the back of his neck, "I know, but it's best if we stayed friends."
I nodded, "And he still likes Eliza." Gerard gave me a sympathetic look, "Don't worry, I'm totally fine with it."
He smiled and stood up and hugged me. I hugged back.
It was silent for a minute or two until I broke it.
"Oh god, I need to buy something for the twins birthday. Great."
A few laughs escaped the mouths of my friends, "You hate them don't you?"
I nodded, "So much. But, nine years old, one year closer to being even more annoying."
There a little more laughter, but it soon stopped, "Wait? Nine?" Mikey asked.
I nodded, confused, "Yeah, why?"
They all shrugged, except Frank. Because of him, I found something I should have realized much, much sooner than this.
"I don't mean for this to come out harsh or anything but...your mom died eight years ago."
Yeah, she died eight years ago. Which means Luke and John would only have been almost one year old. But, my dad is also their dad...which means...
"My dad had an affair." I whispered, close to tears.
Just as I said that, dad, Shania and the twins came through the front door.
"Hey Lizzy and her friends, you okay?" Dad asked me.
"I hate you." I whispered.
Dad furrowed his eyebrows, "I'm sorry?"
Then I flipped, "I HATE YOU!" I jumped up and ran to him, hitting him in any place I could find, "I HATE YOU, I FUCKING HATE YOU!"
I heard my friends get to their feet, and pulled me away from my confused dad.
"We'll be back later." I heard Shania say, and she led her and the boys out of the house.
Bob had hold of me, and he led me back to the couch. Dad sat down in an armchair oppisite.
"Now honey, are you going to tell me what's wrong?" He asked.
"John and Luke are nine. You are their father. Mom died eight years ago, meaning they would have been nearly one. If you are their father, that would mean you were with Shania the same time you were with mom. You had an affair didn't you?" I choked.
Dad never said anything, but it was his silence that gave me the answer I needed.
"I'm sorry Lizzy."
I shrugged, "Sorry isn't gonna change anything. I just wanna know why?"
Dad sighed, "I don't know. I did love your mom, I really did...can we talk about this when your friends have gone home?"
I shook my head, "No, they're staying. If they went home, I would only tell them tomorrow."
He nodded, and continued, "I did love your mom. But, it was all becoming the same. I wake up, go to work, come home, talk to your mother while making dinner, spend time with you, go to bed, the same routine. I wanted something different. I met Shania, and things just took off from there."
"How long had it been going on?"
"Three years. Two while I was with your mom, one after she died."
I sniffled, "Fine. I don't get it. I thought you and mom were happy, but the whole time you were lying to her." I stood up and went to walk away, when his voice stopped me.
"Wait, there's something else I think you should know."
I turned around and gestured for him to go on.
"I feel so guilty. I know now that I could have stopped it. I should have told you sooner."
"Oh spit it out dad!" I snapped.
He sighed, "The night your mom died...someone broke in the house and killed her."
"I know, I had to listen to the judge tell the whole stories a million times in court."
"Well, that night. She called me. She asked me to help her. She sounded paniky, and scared, but I thought she was just having trouble with the knew dishwasher. I told her I was busy with work...but I wasn't...I was with Shania."
I blinked. Could he be saying what I think he's saying?
"So...if you had bothered to come home when mom asked...she might still be alive?"
"Maybe, yeah."
I felt numb. Now I know the reason why my dad wasn't there when she died. He was busy fucking that slut.
I looked around the room briefly, and saw all the sympathetic looks from my friends. I didn't want their sympathy.
"Lizzy?" Dad called to me, trying to take hold of my hand.
I pulled my hand away quickly, "Don't touch me."
"Lizzy, please. I'm sorry."
"Save it..." I went to walk away again.
"Lizzy, please forgive me. If I had known, I would have come home, I promise."
I ignored him.
"Come on. It's not like I killed her!"
I stopped and turned round, "YOU MAY AS WELL HAVE! YOU LET HER DIE! YOU DID KILL HER! I HATE YOU!"
Tears stung my eyes as I ran up the stairs into my bedroom, locking the door behind me.
I fell to the floor, and cried.
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