Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Who Really Needs The Past With The Allure Of Something New?
The sunlight was flooding down in through the skylights, and the mall was buzzing with chatter of people as they browsed stores and hung out with their friends. I was sitting on the second floor with Spencer beside the escalator, and we were waiting for Brendon and Jon to show up so we could decide what to do for the rest of today. It wasn’t very often Spencer and I got to hang out alone. We have a few times, but he must have been one of the busiest people I’d ever met. He was always either getting tutored, at band practice, or working his part time job at a nearby music store. I smiled at him as he sat down with his Orange Julius, and strummed his fingers on the table. I wasn’t shy- I just never knew what to say to him. We had this bond, though. It was strange. Barely anything was said, but I knew that I could talk to him about anything that I really needed.
“So, how are you and Brendon doing?” He asked. I smiled again at his attempt to make a conversation.
“Oh, you know. It’s going pretty good. We’ve only been together for three weeks, though.”
“What about Ryan?”
“What about him?” I didn’t do it out loud, but I cursed Spencer for bringing him up. There wasn’t really much to say about this one, even though I felt so much confusion and yearning for him. Brendon definitely made Ryan seem less important.
I knew exactly what Spencer was asking about. I just didn’t feel like answering.
“Oh, c’mon Delilah. What can’t you trust me with?” A smirk was imprinted in his face.
“Well,” I reached over and took a sip of his Orange Julius. “I guess I like Ryan. I just don’t understand what happened. He’s being all nice and stuff like that, and as soon as Shaye came along with her big boobs and outgoing personality he was sold.” I shrugged my shoulders.
“Isn’t that her over there?” He pointed behind me. I rolled my eyes, not bothering to turn around.
“Is it wearing small clothes that barely cover anything?”
“Yep.”
“Is it wearing enough make-up to cover an elephant’s bottom?”
“Yep.”
“It’s worth a glance.” I turned around, and sure enough, Spencer was right. Shaye was sitting at a nearby table, laughing falsely with a boy. She winked. I noted that her eyelid almost fell of from extreme weight due to the several layers of eye shadow, mascara, and eyeliner that plastered her skin. The boy turned around to look at something in the distance.
“Is that Ace Hankinson?” Spencer was right once again. My mouth dropped inadvertently. What was she doing with Ace Hankinson? Something clicked in my head. What was she doing here with Ace Hankinson while she was supposed to be hanging out with Ryan? The only reason Ryan said he couldn’t come was because he was supposed to go do something with Shaye. Probably hand-sew little pink leather outfits for her yappy little dog while she sat having two different people give her a manicure. “Where’s Ryan?”
“That’s a bloody good question.” I shrugged and looked at a nearby, withering potted plant.
“Well, Brendon and Jon are here at least. Let’s get out of here.” I watched Spencer as he stood up, and I turned around, with a plain smile on my face. I was excited to see Brendon. He had had a dentist appointment on Friday, and I skipped math on Thursday to go to Starbucks with some of the few girl friends that I have, so I really hadn’t seen him since Wednesday. I joined Spencer and stood waiting for Brendon and I to be face to face. He got about five yards away, and I opened my arms widely indicating that I wanted a hug, and he smiled. He didn’t stop walking until my body was against his, and his arms were around my waist, with mine around his neck.
“Ung, Brendon. You know I can’t even spend three days without you without feeling completely lonely?” He didn’t let go. I rested my head on his shoulder.
“Tell me about it.” He paused for a mere second. “I got my braces off.” I jumped back. His normal toothy grin was plastered all over his face, but it looked different. The metal cage that held his teeth was gone.
“Oh gosh! You’re even cuter now!” I kissed him on the cheek and held his hand. Spencer pinched Brendon’s cheek and wiggled it a little.
“I agree, Brendon, you’re just a piece of apple pie, aren’t you?” Joked Spencer. I laughed. I swung Brendon’s hand gently with my own.
“So, what are we going to do today?” I asked, kissing Brendon on the cheek once more.
Jon shuffled. “I was invited to this house party later on if you guys want to go.” I looked around, and then nodded.
“It sounds endurable.” Brendon’s bare thousand watt smile lightened his face. I winked at him. “Whoa, whoa!” Brendon was squinting off into the distance. I was afraid that he saw what Spencer had pointed out to me earlier.
“What’s up?” Jon was craning his neck near Brendon’s head, trying to share his perspective.
“Is that Shaye and Hankinson?” He asked, aghast. I looked at Spencer, and he gave me a confused look and then shrugged his shoulders.
*
I shuffled my feet nervously along the pathway up to the new house. You could tell that the party had already begun, since drunken yelps were audible even from outside and blasting music hummed from the inside of the home. Brendon was holding my hand as he excitedly chatted with Jon. I wasn’t nervous to go in or anything, but I wasn’t all that excited, either. I had no clue of what was going on inside of the house in front of me.
Jon rang the doorbell, but its meager song was weakly drowned out by the loudly playing music. However, he opened the door, and a explosion of music filled the quiet suburban neighborhood. We walked in, and I didn’t feel particularly up to taking my shoes off and leaving them in the already large pile of shoes. The house reeked of the tangy stench of alcohol. Brendon squeezed my hand tightly. I looked at him and smiled. He seemed kind of concerned, but his mouth slid into a smile with ease over his newly freed teeth.
*
I had been at the party for almost an hour. I was completely by myself. Earlier, Brendon had walked off, completely wasted, saying that he had to use the bathroom, and for me to stay put. ‘I’ll be back in five minutes.’ His voice slurred. It had been at least fifteen minutes, and I was slowly getting tired of being so stubborn about drinking.
I saw a capped cooler on a nearby coffee table. It was standing there, by itself, forgotten under other empty bottles and candy wrappers. I took it in my hand. It was still cold. The lime green liquid looked quite quenching. I sat on a nearby couch. I looked around for faces that I knew. I wasn’t going to drink this by myself. I saw Brendon quickly stagger by, followed by a boy that I didn’t know. I shrugged my shoulders. The music was still pumping loudly; the bass made the floor vibrate in a catchy rhythm. I finally saw a face that I knew, that didn’t look in the least tanked out of his mind.
“Ryan!” I yelled. But, my voice only seemed to get lost in the music. I threw a bottle cap squarely at him, snapping him out of his trance. He looked around, until his squinted eyes rested on me. He was holding a half empty two six of watermelon vodka. He came over to me, a small smile plastered on his face. We really hadn’t talked since he and Shaye got together. I really didn’t have much to say to him. He sat on the table across from me, his hands in his lap, smiling neatly.
“How are you?” His voice was barely audible over the pounding dance music. I gave him ‘thumbs up’.
“Well,” My voice seemed quiet in contrast to the song. Ryan’s face was only inches from mine, and my stomach fluttered. “I’m pretty bored. I was too nervous about drinking here at first, by the time I was ready, everyone I knew was already trashed, and now I’m sitting here, looking for a drinking buddy.” Ryan started to chuckle.
“I know what you mean. I came here with Shaye, and as soon as she heard the word ‘weed’ she ran off with Ace Hankinson.” His voice got quieter as he muttered Hankinson’s name. My stomach flopped, and I didn’t know what to say. I had a feeling that Shaye and Hankinson’s relationship wasn’t what I had thought at first.
“I wouldn’t worry about Hankinson and Shaye. I’m pretty sure they’re just friends.” I lied. I didn’t want to make Ryan worry. “I saw them at the mall together earlier, and they looked like they were just hanging out.” Ryan shrugged.
“I don’t think she’d do that to me.” He said nonchalantly. My eyebrows furrowed, and my mouth slanted in distaste.
“Oh, because your relationship with her is just perfect, right? Ryan, that’s ridiculous. You’ve only been dating her for three weeks, and you’re acting like you’re soul mates!” I was frustrated with the way he was acting. I knew that things with Shaye and Hankinson were more than friendly. I was trying to spare Ryan’s feelings, and he shuts me down, pretending like he knows everything that’s going on.
He yelped, “You think she’s cheating on me, don’t you?” I grunted.
“I don’t know it for a fact, but-”
“I just think you’re jealous of her.” I rolled my eyes and snorted. I stood up, with the bottle clenched in my fist. I knew that neither of us were yelling at each other because of loudness of the music anymore.
“Why would I be jealous of that- that tramp?” I screeched. Ryan jumped up angrily in her defense.
“You know exactly why.” He had gone too far. I was furious beyond belief. I just couldn’t believe the way Ryan was acting. His shy and poetic self had fled from this boy.
“You have a lot of nerve talking like that, Ryan Ross.” He shook off my threat and just simply walked away. Frustrated, I sat back down, and opened the bottle with a nearby bottle opener, and took a large gulp of the cooler. How dare he even say those things to me? I couldn’t believe him standing up for her. I spotted Jon walking around, stumbling over nothing apparent. He disappeared into another room.
*
It had been at least half an hour since my little ‘encounter’ with Ryan. I stormed around for a while, after finishing the cooler, and opened up the vodka that Ryan had left behind. I didn’t want to think that I was drinking because I was angry and a little bit depressed. No, it was a party after all. I was just having fun. I stood up, needing to relieve myself. I looked around for the bathroom. Slightly after I had stood up, my brain started to feel heavier, and things started to look different. I carefully glided around the table, but almost stumbled on a book lying forlornly on the floor. I swerved around people on the dance floor, or the space that people had cleared for dancing. I saw Shaye and Ace sitting on a railing.
Damn that stupid ugly cake face. I thought. Even my thoughts seemed to make no sense. She leaned into Hankinson’s face, and whispered in his ear. I walked a little closer, and realized that she wasn’t whispering into his hear, but kissing him passionately. My mouth dropped in surprise. Now I could prove to Ryan what an ass he had been. I laughed, but turned away as soon as I saw Hankinson’s hand peeking underneath Shaye’s short skirt.
I looked around for Ryan, stumbling through the mass of drunken people that I didn’t know. I almost thought that I recognized him, but I walked through the house once more. When I came back to the same room I had been in before, I realized that it was Ryan. He was sitting there, looking rather lonely. My head spun in confusion. I walked up to him.
“Ryan!” I said firmly. His attention jumped up to me, and his facial expression stayed the same. “You remember how you said your girlfriend wasn’t cheating on you?” He opened his mouth in his defense, but I didn’t let him get a word in edgewise. “Well, she’s over by the banister thing making out with that football player, Hankinson. And I saw his hand up her skirt, Ryan! It was soo gross!” Ryan’s facial expression remained the same once again. He didn’t jump up and run over to his cheating girlfriend like I had imagined he would. He rolled his eyes.
“I don’t know why you’re making things up. Maybe it’s because you’re drunk.” My mouth dropped in surprise and angst. “But I’m done with your jealousy.” I was inches away from slapping him. After a moment of thought, I decided against it.
“Ryan, I’m not lying! Go look for yourself!” I urged. He sighed.
“Come on. Let’s go get Brendon, Jon, and Spencer and I’ll drive you home.”
“No! Ryan!”
“Don’t Delilah.” He ordered. I sat down huffily. “Stay here.” He got up, and walked off.
“Fine.” I felt angry, but I wasn’t going to even try to get Ryan’s head out of the clouds. If he wanted to learn the hard way, then it was absolutely fine by me. I didn’t think that I told Ryan about his girlfriend out of jealousy. Why would he even suggest such a thing? I rolled my eyes. Whatever, I told myself. If he wants to be a gigantic egocentric prat about things, let him be.
*
It took Ryan at least fifteen minutes to find the other three boys, and then put them all in his car. What should have been a fun ride home was a quiet and solemn one. I was leaning on Brendon in the backseat; his arm slumped around my waist. He was stirring quietly in his sleep. Jon had his head rested on the cool glass of the window pane. I couldn’t see what Spencer was doing in the front seat, and Ryan was silent, not averting his gaze from the road at all. There was no music playing at all. I didn’t dare say a word to Ryan. I didn’t have anything left to say to him anymore.
As the ride progressed, we had dropped off Brendon, Jon, and Spencer at their houses. The silence in the car shared by Ryan and I was almost unbearable. Usually we were talking and laughing, but not now. I was still sitting in the backseat, looking at Ryan through his rearview mirror. I saw his eyes look in my direction, but I darted mine away from the glass. He pulled up in front of my house.
“Thank you.” My voice was weak and quiet.
“You’re welcome.” Before, I would have yelled a thousand curses at Ryan before leaving, telling him how wrong he was about Shaye and what a big jerk he was bring. Actually, that was exactly what I had planned to do. But, as soon as Spencer had left the car, leaving only Ryan and I, I became unsure of my plan. It certainly wouldn’t accomplish anything.
“Ryan?” My chance was here. I didn’t know what I was going to say to him. Hundreds of sentences and millions of words were coursing through my thoughts. My heart thumped louder than usual. He turned around in his seat to look straight at me, and I held my breath.
“Yeah?” Our voices were matched in quietness. A few silent moments passed.
“Goodnight.”
“You too.” He looked a little disappointed. I felt so angry with myself for not saying what I had wanted. I got out of the car, and immediately frustrated tears rolled down my face.
“So, how are you and Brendon doing?” He asked. I smiled again at his attempt to make a conversation.
“Oh, you know. It’s going pretty good. We’ve only been together for three weeks, though.”
“What about Ryan?”
“What about him?” I didn’t do it out loud, but I cursed Spencer for bringing him up. There wasn’t really much to say about this one, even though I felt so much confusion and yearning for him. Brendon definitely made Ryan seem less important.
I knew exactly what Spencer was asking about. I just didn’t feel like answering.
“Oh, c’mon Delilah. What can’t you trust me with?” A smirk was imprinted in his face.
“Well,” I reached over and took a sip of his Orange Julius. “I guess I like Ryan. I just don’t understand what happened. He’s being all nice and stuff like that, and as soon as Shaye came along with her big boobs and outgoing personality he was sold.” I shrugged my shoulders.
“Isn’t that her over there?” He pointed behind me. I rolled my eyes, not bothering to turn around.
“Is it wearing small clothes that barely cover anything?”
“Yep.”
“Is it wearing enough make-up to cover an elephant’s bottom?”
“Yep.”
“It’s worth a glance.” I turned around, and sure enough, Spencer was right. Shaye was sitting at a nearby table, laughing falsely with a boy. She winked. I noted that her eyelid almost fell of from extreme weight due to the several layers of eye shadow, mascara, and eyeliner that plastered her skin. The boy turned around to look at something in the distance.
“Is that Ace Hankinson?” Spencer was right once again. My mouth dropped inadvertently. What was she doing with Ace Hankinson? Something clicked in my head. What was she doing here with Ace Hankinson while she was supposed to be hanging out with Ryan? The only reason Ryan said he couldn’t come was because he was supposed to go do something with Shaye. Probably hand-sew little pink leather outfits for her yappy little dog while she sat having two different people give her a manicure. “Where’s Ryan?”
“That’s a bloody good question.” I shrugged and looked at a nearby, withering potted plant.
“Well, Brendon and Jon are here at least. Let’s get out of here.” I watched Spencer as he stood up, and I turned around, with a plain smile on my face. I was excited to see Brendon. He had had a dentist appointment on Friday, and I skipped math on Thursday to go to Starbucks with some of the few girl friends that I have, so I really hadn’t seen him since Wednesday. I joined Spencer and stood waiting for Brendon and I to be face to face. He got about five yards away, and I opened my arms widely indicating that I wanted a hug, and he smiled. He didn’t stop walking until my body was against his, and his arms were around my waist, with mine around his neck.
“Ung, Brendon. You know I can’t even spend three days without you without feeling completely lonely?” He didn’t let go. I rested my head on his shoulder.
“Tell me about it.” He paused for a mere second. “I got my braces off.” I jumped back. His normal toothy grin was plastered all over his face, but it looked different. The metal cage that held his teeth was gone.
“Oh gosh! You’re even cuter now!” I kissed him on the cheek and held his hand. Spencer pinched Brendon’s cheek and wiggled it a little.
“I agree, Brendon, you’re just a piece of apple pie, aren’t you?” Joked Spencer. I laughed. I swung Brendon’s hand gently with my own.
“So, what are we going to do today?” I asked, kissing Brendon on the cheek once more.
Jon shuffled. “I was invited to this house party later on if you guys want to go.” I looked around, and then nodded.
“It sounds endurable.” Brendon’s bare thousand watt smile lightened his face. I winked at him. “Whoa, whoa!” Brendon was squinting off into the distance. I was afraid that he saw what Spencer had pointed out to me earlier.
“What’s up?” Jon was craning his neck near Brendon’s head, trying to share his perspective.
“Is that Shaye and Hankinson?” He asked, aghast. I looked at Spencer, and he gave me a confused look and then shrugged his shoulders.
*
I shuffled my feet nervously along the pathway up to the new house. You could tell that the party had already begun, since drunken yelps were audible even from outside and blasting music hummed from the inside of the home. Brendon was holding my hand as he excitedly chatted with Jon. I wasn’t nervous to go in or anything, but I wasn’t all that excited, either. I had no clue of what was going on inside of the house in front of me.
Jon rang the doorbell, but its meager song was weakly drowned out by the loudly playing music. However, he opened the door, and a explosion of music filled the quiet suburban neighborhood. We walked in, and I didn’t feel particularly up to taking my shoes off and leaving them in the already large pile of shoes. The house reeked of the tangy stench of alcohol. Brendon squeezed my hand tightly. I looked at him and smiled. He seemed kind of concerned, but his mouth slid into a smile with ease over his newly freed teeth.
*
I had been at the party for almost an hour. I was completely by myself. Earlier, Brendon had walked off, completely wasted, saying that he had to use the bathroom, and for me to stay put. ‘I’ll be back in five minutes.’ His voice slurred. It had been at least fifteen minutes, and I was slowly getting tired of being so stubborn about drinking.
I saw a capped cooler on a nearby coffee table. It was standing there, by itself, forgotten under other empty bottles and candy wrappers. I took it in my hand. It was still cold. The lime green liquid looked quite quenching. I sat on a nearby couch. I looked around for faces that I knew. I wasn’t going to drink this by myself. I saw Brendon quickly stagger by, followed by a boy that I didn’t know. I shrugged my shoulders. The music was still pumping loudly; the bass made the floor vibrate in a catchy rhythm. I finally saw a face that I knew, that didn’t look in the least tanked out of his mind.
“Ryan!” I yelled. But, my voice only seemed to get lost in the music. I threw a bottle cap squarely at him, snapping him out of his trance. He looked around, until his squinted eyes rested on me. He was holding a half empty two six of watermelon vodka. He came over to me, a small smile plastered on his face. We really hadn’t talked since he and Shaye got together. I really didn’t have much to say to him. He sat on the table across from me, his hands in his lap, smiling neatly.
“How are you?” His voice was barely audible over the pounding dance music. I gave him ‘thumbs up’.
“Well,” My voice seemed quiet in contrast to the song. Ryan’s face was only inches from mine, and my stomach fluttered. “I’m pretty bored. I was too nervous about drinking here at first, by the time I was ready, everyone I knew was already trashed, and now I’m sitting here, looking for a drinking buddy.” Ryan started to chuckle.
“I know what you mean. I came here with Shaye, and as soon as she heard the word ‘weed’ she ran off with Ace Hankinson.” His voice got quieter as he muttered Hankinson’s name. My stomach flopped, and I didn’t know what to say. I had a feeling that Shaye and Hankinson’s relationship wasn’t what I had thought at first.
“I wouldn’t worry about Hankinson and Shaye. I’m pretty sure they’re just friends.” I lied. I didn’t want to make Ryan worry. “I saw them at the mall together earlier, and they looked like they were just hanging out.” Ryan shrugged.
“I don’t think she’d do that to me.” He said nonchalantly. My eyebrows furrowed, and my mouth slanted in distaste.
“Oh, because your relationship with her is just perfect, right? Ryan, that’s ridiculous. You’ve only been dating her for three weeks, and you’re acting like you’re soul mates!” I was frustrated with the way he was acting. I knew that things with Shaye and Hankinson were more than friendly. I was trying to spare Ryan’s feelings, and he shuts me down, pretending like he knows everything that’s going on.
He yelped, “You think she’s cheating on me, don’t you?” I grunted.
“I don’t know it for a fact, but-”
“I just think you’re jealous of her.” I rolled my eyes and snorted. I stood up, with the bottle clenched in my fist. I knew that neither of us were yelling at each other because of loudness of the music anymore.
“Why would I be jealous of that- that tramp?” I screeched. Ryan jumped up angrily in her defense.
“You know exactly why.” He had gone too far. I was furious beyond belief. I just couldn’t believe the way Ryan was acting. His shy and poetic self had fled from this boy.
“You have a lot of nerve talking like that, Ryan Ross.” He shook off my threat and just simply walked away. Frustrated, I sat back down, and opened the bottle with a nearby bottle opener, and took a large gulp of the cooler. How dare he even say those things to me? I couldn’t believe him standing up for her. I spotted Jon walking around, stumbling over nothing apparent. He disappeared into another room.
*
It had been at least half an hour since my little ‘encounter’ with Ryan. I stormed around for a while, after finishing the cooler, and opened up the vodka that Ryan had left behind. I didn’t want to think that I was drinking because I was angry and a little bit depressed. No, it was a party after all. I was just having fun. I stood up, needing to relieve myself. I looked around for the bathroom. Slightly after I had stood up, my brain started to feel heavier, and things started to look different. I carefully glided around the table, but almost stumbled on a book lying forlornly on the floor. I swerved around people on the dance floor, or the space that people had cleared for dancing. I saw Shaye and Ace sitting on a railing.
Damn that stupid ugly cake face. I thought. Even my thoughts seemed to make no sense. She leaned into Hankinson’s face, and whispered in his ear. I walked a little closer, and realized that she wasn’t whispering into his hear, but kissing him passionately. My mouth dropped in surprise. Now I could prove to Ryan what an ass he had been. I laughed, but turned away as soon as I saw Hankinson’s hand peeking underneath Shaye’s short skirt.
I looked around for Ryan, stumbling through the mass of drunken people that I didn’t know. I almost thought that I recognized him, but I walked through the house once more. When I came back to the same room I had been in before, I realized that it was Ryan. He was sitting there, looking rather lonely. My head spun in confusion. I walked up to him.
“Ryan!” I said firmly. His attention jumped up to me, and his facial expression stayed the same. “You remember how you said your girlfriend wasn’t cheating on you?” He opened his mouth in his defense, but I didn’t let him get a word in edgewise. “Well, she’s over by the banister thing making out with that football player, Hankinson. And I saw his hand up her skirt, Ryan! It was soo gross!” Ryan’s facial expression remained the same once again. He didn’t jump up and run over to his cheating girlfriend like I had imagined he would. He rolled his eyes.
“I don’t know why you’re making things up. Maybe it’s because you’re drunk.” My mouth dropped in surprise and angst. “But I’m done with your jealousy.” I was inches away from slapping him. After a moment of thought, I decided against it.
“Ryan, I’m not lying! Go look for yourself!” I urged. He sighed.
“Come on. Let’s go get Brendon, Jon, and Spencer and I’ll drive you home.”
“No! Ryan!”
“Don’t Delilah.” He ordered. I sat down huffily. “Stay here.” He got up, and walked off.
“Fine.” I felt angry, but I wasn’t going to even try to get Ryan’s head out of the clouds. If he wanted to learn the hard way, then it was absolutely fine by me. I didn’t think that I told Ryan about his girlfriend out of jealousy. Why would he even suggest such a thing? I rolled my eyes. Whatever, I told myself. If he wants to be a gigantic egocentric prat about things, let him be.
*
It took Ryan at least fifteen minutes to find the other three boys, and then put them all in his car. What should have been a fun ride home was a quiet and solemn one. I was leaning on Brendon in the backseat; his arm slumped around my waist. He was stirring quietly in his sleep. Jon had his head rested on the cool glass of the window pane. I couldn’t see what Spencer was doing in the front seat, and Ryan was silent, not averting his gaze from the road at all. There was no music playing at all. I didn’t dare say a word to Ryan. I didn’t have anything left to say to him anymore.
As the ride progressed, we had dropped off Brendon, Jon, and Spencer at their houses. The silence in the car shared by Ryan and I was almost unbearable. Usually we were talking and laughing, but not now. I was still sitting in the backseat, looking at Ryan through his rearview mirror. I saw his eyes look in my direction, but I darted mine away from the glass. He pulled up in front of my house.
“Thank you.” My voice was weak and quiet.
“You’re welcome.” Before, I would have yelled a thousand curses at Ryan before leaving, telling him how wrong he was about Shaye and what a big jerk he was bring. Actually, that was exactly what I had planned to do. But, as soon as Spencer had left the car, leaving only Ryan and I, I became unsure of my plan. It certainly wouldn’t accomplish anything.
“Ryan?” My chance was here. I didn’t know what I was going to say to him. Hundreds of sentences and millions of words were coursing through my thoughts. My heart thumped louder than usual. He turned around in his seat to look straight at me, and I held my breath.
“Yeah?” Our voices were matched in quietness. A few silent moments passed.
“Goodnight.”
“You too.” He looked a little disappointed. I felt so angry with myself for not saying what I had wanted. I got out of the car, and immediately frustrated tears rolled down my face.
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