Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Love Me Dead
By the time my parents had come home that night, I was already in bed, but not sleeping, but crying. I wasn't crying because I had let Gerard's words get to me, but because he thought it was okay to just treat people like that. Though, I soon discovered that it was people he was treating like crap. It was just me.
When I woke up the next morning, I followed my usual routine. But, instead of pulling on clothes I would normally wear, I wore a dress I had bought last night. It was a strapless red and black dress with ruffles at the bottom and it came mid-thigh. What I thought was weird was that Gerard said he thought it was disgusting that I walked the halls half naked, yet something in my mind told me that he wanted me to buy that dress.
After getting dressed, I looked at myself in the mirror. I had to admit that the dress was very nice, but not very me. I didn't buy clothes from Hot Topic because I didn't think it would suit me. I guess it was something I had to get used to from now on.
I felt a little disappointed in myself. Why did I just give up so easily? I told myself that I wasn't going to let him get to me, yet I did just that. I didn't want to change, but I couldn't stand the fact that he hated me for being myself. What was he trying to do exactly?
With a sigh, I grabbed my bag and left my bedroom. I didn't care right now if my parents were home and they saw the clothes I was wearing. I didn't care that if I got to school my friends gave me weird looks. All I cared about right now, was seeking his approval. I didn't have Art today, so I wasn't sure what I was meant to do.
I entered the kitchen and was shocked to see my parents home. They were never home. I furrowed my eyebrows while reaching for a coffee mug, "Hey mom, dad. What are you guys doing home?"
Mom raised her head and gave me a confused look of her own, "We managed to get a day off from work. What is that you're wearing? Something new?" I nodded and told her I went shopping last night. She smiled, "That's nice. It's been a while since you bought something for yourself." I smiled and told them I was now leaving for school. With a quick kiss on the cheek for both of them, I left the house.
As December usually was, it was cold. No actually, it was freezing. The only thing to protect me from the cold was my thin Tokyo Hotel hoodie, which I am sure had gotten smaller when it got washed. I folded my arms across my chest, hoping to warm me up some more.
I must have been walking for two or three minutes when I heard a car slow down next to me. For some reason, I stopped too. I don't know why, it could have been someone dangerous. I turned round slowly, and thought I recognized the car. The driver rolled down the window and stuck their head out. I sighed with relief when I saw it was Frank. I was happy to see his bruising was almost gone. It was only three days since I had last saw him. Actually, it was three days since I had met him.
"Sam is that you?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowed but wore a small smile. I smiled too and nodded, "Wow, you look... different. And cold actually, which is why I stopped. Do you want a ride?" I would have said no, but I just so cold I couldn't. I nodded again, "Cool, you'll have to sit in the back... because Mikey's in the front." He sounded wary, but tried to cover it. I ignored it and went over to his car. I opened the door and sat behind Frank. When I locked myself in with the seat belt, I gasped and clamped a hand over my mouth.
Next to me, behind Mikey, was a very much asleep Gerard. His long black hair hung in his face and he rested his head on the window, his arms folded loosely over his cheat. I couldn't hear his light breathing. I edged towards the door a little. I didn't want to wake him. I was still a little scared of him from yesterday. I felt terrible for looking through his stuff. It had clearly upset him. I wish I could take that back. His parents were a touchy subject for him even after nine years.
I heard Frank clear his throat quietly, "Yeah, sorry about that. But I thought it would be okay, as he's sleeping." He half-whispered. Before I could ask my question, he answered it as if he had read my mind, "We had a talk on Sunday. He apologized... a lot. He didn't know what had caused to act like that. I couldn't turn him away... he's my friend." I just nodded, not wanting to talk. I didn't want to risk waking him, "I hope you don't mind but I gotta drop Mikey off at work." I didn't answer, but he took my silence as a positive response.
I felt so awkward. I didn't even want to move, or even breath in fear it would wake him up. I didn't want him to hate me even more. I did wonder, though, why he was sleeping now. I sigh silently and tried to ignore him, just pretend he wasn't even there.
A few minutes later, Frank's car came to a silent stop, "Won't be long. I need to buy a coffee, you want one?" He asked as he and Mikey got out the car.
I looked at him as if he were crazy, "You're gonna leave me here? With him?" I tried to keep my voice quiet, but I think it came out louder than I thought it had.
Frank smiled, "Sam he's asleep, you'll be fine. He's just a man, he's not a lion or a bear. I won't be long. Promise."
I sighed and leaned back in my seat, "Fine, but if he wakes up, I'm coming in there." He just laughed and closed his door quietly.
"Don't worry Sam. He isn't as bad as you think he is... By the way, I like your new dress. I'll see you around." Mikey said before he too closed his door. I watched them walk off together until they disappeared through the Barnes and Nobles door.
I sighed again and turned to see if Gerard was still sleeping. My heart thumped in my chest and my eyes widened when I saw he was, as always, glaring at me, "Holy shit." I said as I unbuckled my seat belt and reached for the door. Just then, he grabbed my arms and forced me to look at him.
Holding both my hands with one of his hands, he locked my door with the other and pushed me back, "Shut the hell up. God, you act as if I'm some murderer or something." You may as well be one. I thought, but didn't dare say it.
I thought it best not to try and escape the car and just put up with this for a just a couple of minutes, "How long have you been awake?" I asked shakily.
"I haven't been asleep." I looked at him and saw the smirk on his face, "I was going to. But then Frank stopped the car. When I knew it was you he was talking to, I thought I'd just pretend. Frank always gets coffee after dropping off Mikey. Perfect time to 'wake up'."
I turned away and stared out of the window. I didn't want to talk to him. I was too scared to. But he was going to make that quite hard for me, "I've decided to forgive you for yesterday." When I didn't respond, he continued, "Going through my things wasn't a smart idea, but I'm forgiving you because I've come to the conclusion that you're not a very bright person." This time, I glared at him, which he laughed off, "So I'll let you off the hook, which I don't do often, but this is the third time with you, which is also quite weird for me." I was about to ask the times he had 'let me off the hook' when he answered, "Your first day, I didn't give you detention, when I did give you detention, you fell asleep, I brought you home, and I didn't make you finish it. Third time for yesterday... It should really be a fourth because I didn't give you detention for being late yesterday." I closed my mouth and turned away again.
Frank was taking a long time. I just wanted him to hurry up. Gerard continued to make conversation with me, "I must say Samantha, I am not impressed at all." This got my attention and once again turned to face him. He turned in his seat and let his eyes take in my new look, "No, it's not the new you I don't like... I actually like it... I really like it." He mumbled, but I chose to ignore, "But what I'm not impressed with you as a person."
"What are you talking about?" I snapped.
He smirked, "Oh good, I thought you were ignoring me. It's nice to know you have a voice. An annoying voice, but a voice none the less... Anyway... what I mean is, I thought I was going to have a lot of fun with you." My eyes widened and he laughed, "Don't be silly." I sighed, "When I first met you, you appeared to me as a challenge. You seemed like someone who was hard to affect. A lot of fun for me... Obviously I was wrong. You're just like the others. Boring, and very weak... You've ruined my fun Samantha." He gave a sarcastic frown, but then laughed.
"You're crazy. I actually think you're insane. You actually think it's fun to mess with teenagers lives? What the hell is wrong with you?" He looked hurt for a second, but otherwise looked rather amused.
"Okay, I wasn't wrong. Maybe you will be fun." When he said that, he winked at me, which I was disgusted with.
Then I asked my next question, "You said you didn't like that I walked the halls half naked, as in I wore short clothes... but you like this." I gestured to my dress, "What do I have now that I didn't have before?"
Gerard leaned forward, and brought his hand to the hem of my dress and softly stroked my leg with his thumb. My breathing got caught in my throat. Still looking at my dress, he answered, "Sex appeal." He then raised his eyes and looked into mine. He expression was totally serious, there was no joking now.
He then turned back in his seat, and opened his door. He unbuckled his seat belt and got out. After slamming the door, he leaned back on the door, and got out a pack of cigarettes. The whole time, millions of questions were running through my mind.
When I woke up the next morning, I followed my usual routine. But, instead of pulling on clothes I would normally wear, I wore a dress I had bought last night. It was a strapless red and black dress with ruffles at the bottom and it came mid-thigh. What I thought was weird was that Gerard said he thought it was disgusting that I walked the halls half naked, yet something in my mind told me that he wanted me to buy that dress.
After getting dressed, I looked at myself in the mirror. I had to admit that the dress was very nice, but not very me. I didn't buy clothes from Hot Topic because I didn't think it would suit me. I guess it was something I had to get used to from now on.
I felt a little disappointed in myself. Why did I just give up so easily? I told myself that I wasn't going to let him get to me, yet I did just that. I didn't want to change, but I couldn't stand the fact that he hated me for being myself. What was he trying to do exactly?
With a sigh, I grabbed my bag and left my bedroom. I didn't care right now if my parents were home and they saw the clothes I was wearing. I didn't care that if I got to school my friends gave me weird looks. All I cared about right now, was seeking his approval. I didn't have Art today, so I wasn't sure what I was meant to do.
I entered the kitchen and was shocked to see my parents home. They were never home. I furrowed my eyebrows while reaching for a coffee mug, "Hey mom, dad. What are you guys doing home?"
Mom raised her head and gave me a confused look of her own, "We managed to get a day off from work. What is that you're wearing? Something new?" I nodded and told her I went shopping last night. She smiled, "That's nice. It's been a while since you bought something for yourself." I smiled and told them I was now leaving for school. With a quick kiss on the cheek for both of them, I left the house.
As December usually was, it was cold. No actually, it was freezing. The only thing to protect me from the cold was my thin Tokyo Hotel hoodie, which I am sure had gotten smaller when it got washed. I folded my arms across my chest, hoping to warm me up some more.
I must have been walking for two or three minutes when I heard a car slow down next to me. For some reason, I stopped too. I don't know why, it could have been someone dangerous. I turned round slowly, and thought I recognized the car. The driver rolled down the window and stuck their head out. I sighed with relief when I saw it was Frank. I was happy to see his bruising was almost gone. It was only three days since I had last saw him. Actually, it was three days since I had met him.
"Sam is that you?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowed but wore a small smile. I smiled too and nodded, "Wow, you look... different. And cold actually, which is why I stopped. Do you want a ride?" I would have said no, but I just so cold I couldn't. I nodded again, "Cool, you'll have to sit in the back... because Mikey's in the front." He sounded wary, but tried to cover it. I ignored it and went over to his car. I opened the door and sat behind Frank. When I locked myself in with the seat belt, I gasped and clamped a hand over my mouth.
Next to me, behind Mikey, was a very much asleep Gerard. His long black hair hung in his face and he rested his head on the window, his arms folded loosely over his cheat. I couldn't hear his light breathing. I edged towards the door a little. I didn't want to wake him. I was still a little scared of him from yesterday. I felt terrible for looking through his stuff. It had clearly upset him. I wish I could take that back. His parents were a touchy subject for him even after nine years.
I heard Frank clear his throat quietly, "Yeah, sorry about that. But I thought it would be okay, as he's sleeping." He half-whispered. Before I could ask my question, he answered it as if he had read my mind, "We had a talk on Sunday. He apologized... a lot. He didn't know what had caused to act like that. I couldn't turn him away... he's my friend." I just nodded, not wanting to talk. I didn't want to risk waking him, "I hope you don't mind but I gotta drop Mikey off at work." I didn't answer, but he took my silence as a positive response.
I felt so awkward. I didn't even want to move, or even breath in fear it would wake him up. I didn't want him to hate me even more. I did wonder, though, why he was sleeping now. I sigh silently and tried to ignore him, just pretend he wasn't even there.
A few minutes later, Frank's car came to a silent stop, "Won't be long. I need to buy a coffee, you want one?" He asked as he and Mikey got out the car.
I looked at him as if he were crazy, "You're gonna leave me here? With him?" I tried to keep my voice quiet, but I think it came out louder than I thought it had.
Frank smiled, "Sam he's asleep, you'll be fine. He's just a man, he's not a lion or a bear. I won't be long. Promise."
I sighed and leaned back in my seat, "Fine, but if he wakes up, I'm coming in there." He just laughed and closed his door quietly.
"Don't worry Sam. He isn't as bad as you think he is... By the way, I like your new dress. I'll see you around." Mikey said before he too closed his door. I watched them walk off together until they disappeared through the Barnes and Nobles door.
I sighed again and turned to see if Gerard was still sleeping. My heart thumped in my chest and my eyes widened when I saw he was, as always, glaring at me, "Holy shit." I said as I unbuckled my seat belt and reached for the door. Just then, he grabbed my arms and forced me to look at him.
Holding both my hands with one of his hands, he locked my door with the other and pushed me back, "Shut the hell up. God, you act as if I'm some murderer or something." You may as well be one. I thought, but didn't dare say it.
I thought it best not to try and escape the car and just put up with this for a just a couple of minutes, "How long have you been awake?" I asked shakily.
"I haven't been asleep." I looked at him and saw the smirk on his face, "I was going to. But then Frank stopped the car. When I knew it was you he was talking to, I thought I'd just pretend. Frank always gets coffee after dropping off Mikey. Perfect time to 'wake up'."
I turned away and stared out of the window. I didn't want to talk to him. I was too scared to. But he was going to make that quite hard for me, "I've decided to forgive you for yesterday." When I didn't respond, he continued, "Going through my things wasn't a smart idea, but I'm forgiving you because I've come to the conclusion that you're not a very bright person." This time, I glared at him, which he laughed off, "So I'll let you off the hook, which I don't do often, but this is the third time with you, which is also quite weird for me." I was about to ask the times he had 'let me off the hook' when he answered, "Your first day, I didn't give you detention, when I did give you detention, you fell asleep, I brought you home, and I didn't make you finish it. Third time for yesterday... It should really be a fourth because I didn't give you detention for being late yesterday." I closed my mouth and turned away again.
Frank was taking a long time. I just wanted him to hurry up. Gerard continued to make conversation with me, "I must say Samantha, I am not impressed at all." This got my attention and once again turned to face him. He turned in his seat and let his eyes take in my new look, "No, it's not the new you I don't like... I actually like it... I really like it." He mumbled, but I chose to ignore, "But what I'm not impressed with you as a person."
"What are you talking about?" I snapped.
He smirked, "Oh good, I thought you were ignoring me. It's nice to know you have a voice. An annoying voice, but a voice none the less... Anyway... what I mean is, I thought I was going to have a lot of fun with you." My eyes widened and he laughed, "Don't be silly." I sighed, "When I first met you, you appeared to me as a challenge. You seemed like someone who was hard to affect. A lot of fun for me... Obviously I was wrong. You're just like the others. Boring, and very weak... You've ruined my fun Samantha." He gave a sarcastic frown, but then laughed.
"You're crazy. I actually think you're insane. You actually think it's fun to mess with teenagers lives? What the hell is wrong with you?" He looked hurt for a second, but otherwise looked rather amused.
"Okay, I wasn't wrong. Maybe you will be fun." When he said that, he winked at me, which I was disgusted with.
Then I asked my next question, "You said you didn't like that I walked the halls half naked, as in I wore short clothes... but you like this." I gestured to my dress, "What do I have now that I didn't have before?"
Gerard leaned forward, and brought his hand to the hem of my dress and softly stroked my leg with his thumb. My breathing got caught in my throat. Still looking at my dress, he answered, "Sex appeal." He then raised his eyes and looked into mine. He expression was totally serious, there was no joking now.
He then turned back in his seat, and opened his door. He unbuckled his seat belt and got out. After slamming the door, he leaned back on the door, and got out a pack of cigarettes. The whole time, millions of questions were running through my mind.
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