Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Holly Evans and the Spiral Path
Successive Cruelty
1 reviewThe Dursleys have their minds changed and Holly loses that close friend.
5Original
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related concepts are owned by someone who isn't me. I will never seek or accept money for the circulation of this work.
Holly Evans and the Spiral Path
Chapter 35: Successive Cruelty
18th June, 1994
Holly,
At your earliest opportunity, please let me know if you need my assistance to relocate you. I will come for you in three days if I don't hear from you before then. I have had a discussion with Professor Dumbledore over his inappropriate actions and while I agree that the Dursley house is warded in ways unavailable to other locations, that does not permit him to make your choices for you. I have not mentioned the Madhouse but I did intimate that you had other options for living arrangements with reasonable security. I'd like you to consider the following and inform me of your preference.
1. You stay at the Dursleys.
2. You stay with me in the house in Ferness. I have to say that I will be extremely busy this summertime, so if you select this option you will need to accompany me on some of my errands. The Education Fund's newfound wealth has prompted an explosion in candidates for student enrollment from low-income and muggleborn students. I will likely spend every day speaking to multiple families about their educational options in the magical world. You would need to be on your best behavior, of course.
3. You move to stay with the Weasleys. Albus has agreed reluctantly to expand their wards in cooperation with their eldest son William, who now works for Gringott's Bank as a warding specialist. I can see where this may seem dangerous to you, but I doubt that Bill would choose his employer's interests over those of his family.
4. If you can arrange it with Miss Tonks, we might be able to convince Albus that her flat has sufficient anonymity and protections for you to stay there, even if you actually reside in the Madhouse. I wouldn't put it past the Headmaster to test those protections, so this seems the least defensible choice.
Write soon.
With love,
Minerva
*
19th June, 1994
Mum,
Believe it or not, I'm going with option 1 for the time being. I've discovered something that makes staying here a much different experience than ever before. It all comes down to a clock that I broke.
When I initially woke up I was feeling weak, tired and fucked-over, but more than anything I was feeling 'affected'. Luna's Poppy had stripped away numerous layers of behavior-modifying magic and as my head finally cleared of my concussion, I could see in my mind just how much static I've had to wade through. One of the volumes I 'recovered' from the Slytherin library was called 'Weaving and Unraveling Compulsions'. I used the meditation techniques described in there to sort through the most obvious taints on my mind. It's not unlike how short-wave operators filter out interfering signals, I suppose. I haven't uncovered the details of every single spell, but I've already identified the ones that were actively affecting me here.
-Albus' Confundus said (as Newt indicated) "You need to stay at the Dursley's and practice being Harry." I've removed that one.
-This journal says "Unburden your heart by writing the truth within." I see no reason to change that now that the Journal works both ways. I don't think it'll affect your copy as you wrote the Compulsion to seed into the pages of my copy as they were added. Of course, I may decide to switch them when you're not looking one of these days just for the fun of it.
-The mantel clock in the Dursley's living room was saying "All evidence of magic should be hidden, minimalised, locked away or destroyed." I'm guessing my relatives interpreted me as a form of evidence. It also had a recent addition that said "Do not harm Harry Potter." Nice of Albus to concern himself though I note it doesn't apply to me, just my male alter-ego. Given the logical conflict between these two commands, if I had changed form in front of my relatives they probably would have suffered a psychotic break.
It took me an hour to pinpoint where those whispers were coming from, and the minute I broke that bloody thing I knew I had made the right choice. Petunia walked into the den and said, "Oh! Holly, did the clock get broken? Well it's all for the best, I've often felt it didn't match the room. Toss the remains into the bin and we'll go shopping this afternoon for a replacement. You look like you could use some new clothes, as well." I was still standing there stunned fifteen minutes later when Dudley came back to the house and asked me if I could help him train for boxing. He thought I could help since I looked like I had been keeping fit. So has he, by the way. Natalia's wandwork seems to have motivated him to trim up a bit. He also isn't leering at me so the 'sisterly cousin' suggestion may be curbing his more lascivious tendencies, at least towards me. He's still a bully, but if he's listening to me now I may be able to get him to actually think for himself and consider the feelings of others on occasion.
I'm going to go back to meditating with the Bacchus Poppy and see what else I can uncover. In the meantime, I'll be just fine getting to know the new version of my relatives.
Love,
Holly
*
Holly,
That you have a family once more is wonderful, remarkable news! I am very happy for you, and also a bit relieved to know my estimation of their character was not so far afield. I feel some small obligation to mention that the Compulsions on that clock do not seem to have been directed towards harming you, even if that became the effect. Having said that, they were worded in a way that might seem innocuous yet yield dramatically negative results. I suggest we confront Albus about this together. I will see about arranging a meeting for us in a few weeks.
Let me know what else you are able to uncover in your meditations, but please exercise caution in the use of that intoxicant. I have heard of the Dionysian Poppy before, in relation to the legends of Kublai Khan's Pleasure Dome. As poppies are native to central Asia, the stories may be closer to truth than the muggles ever suspected.
With love,
Minerva
*
23rd June, 1994
On the occasion of my cousin Dudley's birthday, I gave him the most unusual gift you or I could imagine him getting from me. I explained sex to him. This started because, as I mentioned earlier, Dudley asked me to help him train for boxing. At first it was just exercises, but once I convinced him that despite my size and gender I could still deliver a punch, he and I started sparring in the basement. It only took me flattening him four times before he started taking me seriously, and since then we've both learned a lot about footwork and pugilism. The first few times he caught me with a hook or an expertly-thrown feint he was very apologetic, but we've moved past that now and it doesn't take but a moment for us to get into training mode. It was during our last sparring session that he started some of his 'wink, wink; nudge, nudge' talk and I confronted him on his love life. I had to honestly admit having had sex already and described the process of it, but I quickly realised that the boy was bereft of even the most basic instruction in the topic. After we were done boxing, I went to town and bought new copies of the books Petunia once sent me (to make sure the birth control sections were included) and sat him down for a whole different kind of training. After we had discussed things for a while, Dudley asked me three interesting questions.
"Do girls want sex as much as boys?"
"Nearly so, but it's a very different effect on a girl's reputation to have done it than for a boy. Also, the act itself as you can see is really... intrusive. If a homosexual wanted to have sex with you, it would probably involve his penis entering your arse, yah?"
"That is not happening!"
"Wasn't saying anything about you, Dudley. Just imagine the feeling of the action, but for a girl it's actually expected to be done. See? Intrusive. That's why you have to be gentle and responsive about it. You do it right, she'll want it more. You do it wrong and that'll be one more girl telling all the other girls how awful sex is, and how awful you are."
"That makes sense. Holly, why are you being decent to me about this? I mean, we treated you horribly. Why aren't you taking it out on me?"
"It's in my interests for you to treat girls well, for one. Also, I broke the magic that was making you all cruel to me, so I'm treating you like a new roommate. The other Dudley was just... Dud. You're turning out to be the beginnings of a decent bloke. No reason for me to hate you for things you didn't choose to believe."
"Thanks for that."
"No worries."
"Holly, the creepy Santa-bloke said you could turn into your brother, Harry."
"Yeah."
"Um, could I box with him from now on?"
"Sure. I just need to get some exercise togs that fit for him. We'll start tomorrow."
"By the way, does everyone in your world dress like Professor Hummel- uhh...?"
"Dumbledore? No, he's a flaming homo with egregious fashion sense."
"I'll keep my backside away from him from now on!"
"That might help. I should probably do the same."
Alright, so maybe it was four interesting questions. Anyway, it served to change the nature of our relationship. I'm fairly sure I haven't created a monster so much as prevented one from developing. We'll see.
Holly
*
25th June, 1994
Mum,
It is my sad duty to report that my uncle is naturally an arsehole. I wasn't sure at first, as his behavior shifted a bit along with Petunia and Dudley when I broke the mantel clock, but he still harbors a very potent hatred for magic in general and me in particular. It became clear when Vernon came down to the basement and found Dudley and me (as Harry) just finishing a bout. The profanity that erupted from him upon seeing me change back into Holly was frightening, but not nearly as much as when Dudley said "But Dad, it's just a little magic and isn't even against the rules!" Vernon clubbed his own son to the ground with such a backhand that I was sure he was carrying a lead weight in his fist. Vernon was even more surprised than I was when Dudley rushed to stand back up and strike his father in the jaw. That ended the argument, as Vernon retreated to the living room to stew for the rest of the evening, even skipping supper so as not to have to share a table with me. I thanked Dudley and he said "I had to do it, or he would have gone after you next. Sorry 'bout him."
I have a theory. Petunia and Dudley are from the Evans blood where magic flows. Vernon is completely muggle, so he may be stuck holding onto the Compulsions long after the clock was destroyed. This may also explain why Petunia and Dudley recovered so quickly. That Compulsion was forcing them to hate and hide a part of themselves as well.
Holly
*
3rd July, 1994
Mum,
My nightly meditations have finally produced results, and I couldn't be more sorry for that if I tried. I just... here's what I've got.
"Do Not Notice Luna" - I knew about this, but I've been finding her at the edge of many more memories than I expected. If you're familiar with 'Where's Waldo?', there's a distinct similarity.
"Give credit to Harry for your victories whenever possible" - Explains a few things, doesn't it? Likely this one came from Albus.
"Do not trust Albus Dumbledore" - I think this was left by Lily. She had a few more things to say.
"Always know that your mother loves you." - This one has saved my sanity a few times, so I left it in place. It almost redeems Lily for this one:
"My sweet child, I want you to find the brightest witch close to your age, Muggleborn preferably and with a strong will and moral compass- fall in love with her, support her, challenge her so that she may be worthy of the secrets I have yet uncovered and help her to remake this magical world into something where all great minds can flourish. Share pleasure with her but don't force yourself upon her. Stay loyal in the face of temptation. These things will make you both happy."
The only reason I'm not cutting open my wrists at this moment is because this isn't a Compulsion, just a buried memory that was magically reinforced. I love Hermione. I love Natalia. I love Newt as my daughter and I love you as my Godmother. But right now, I HATE LILY POTTER!
Holly
*
Mum,
This is even more disturbing. A half hour after I had cried myself to sleep my nightmares came back with a vengeance.
They came at me fast and hard, showing horrific things. Rapes, tortures, deranged revels where muggles were made to dance like marionettes while begging for their lives or wishing they would 'wake up now'. I know the feeling, and I recognise some of these dreams as I've had them before, ever since I can recall. It may be that I share more than my mother's soul in this body, yet these aren't things my mother had ever experienced... but Riddle would have. I think Riddle left a little part of himself behind, too, either the night I became a girl or in the Chamber of Secrets. I'm thinking it's the former. The nightmares showed up strongly after the Chamber, but the thoughts didn't seem unfamiliar, just more powerful. His thorn in my head was no doubt enriched by the change in my biology just as I was and like a honeybee's sting, it continues to pump poison into my dreams.
Riddle has been rotting my mind from the inside. Perhaps I am becoming evil, after all.
Holly
*
3rd July, 1994
Holly,
First off, you are not evil. You do not take pleasure in the pain of others. You do not take from others simply because you can. I am concerned that you are developing a tendency to impose your will upon others and choose what your loved ones are allowed to know about you, even after the fact. If I were to include such things in the definition of evil however, I would be required to condemn our Headmaster as he has far exceeded you in such sins. Adulthood comes with recognising that hard choices have to do with minimizing the overall pain inflicted by their selection. There isn't always a 'good' option.
I understand the choices you have already made, but please reflect on them in your quiet times. Were they the best decisions? Could you have made better, or more honourable ones? For example, did the elf, Urkel have to die? Did Flint? Were the other Slytherins merely defeated, or did you exact vengeance for your pain? You have walked at the edge of a narrow path. It is my job to remind you that you don't need to live at that edge. Evil comes first when you stop caring whether you've fallen, and it entrenches itself when you start to enjoy the suffering of others.
I do not know how you might be experiencing nightmares from Mr. Riddle, but this seems like something worth sharing with the headmaster, should he descend from his ivory tower to discuss such things with us common folk. As to your mother's matchmaking, please consider this; Lily embedded the memory so it would affect your beliefs, but for all intents and purposes it would be no different than if Lily herself had said the same words to you several times as you were growing up. It was a wish for you, and you found Hermione all on your own. I also believe that your initial affection for Hermione was based upon the love and trust that she extended to you before your confrontation with the possessed Professor Quirrel; affection you had yet to receive from anyone since your isolation with the Dursleys. You also found Natalia, so I don't believe your proclivities have much to do with following Lily's instructions. I do not think you truly feel for these women based solely upon your mother's lingering influence. For certain, if Lily exhibited any personal girl-fondness it was not evidenced in her behavior at school nor from the details of her journals you've been kind enough to share with me. I think that in this case, your instincts will guide you to the truth. They have guided you to help redeem your cousin. Remember the good that you do.
With love,
Minerva
*
4th July, 1994
Mum,
Thanks, but I wasn't worried about my sexuality- I know what I like. Anyway, Lily's words were left for Harry to follow, so I doubt she even considered that it might be encouraging cross-orientation sexuality. Though it does assume Harry would be straight, I can't say whether she considered the possibility and chose to ignore it or maybe she just 'knew' he'd like girls. My concern is that I'm not moving on from Hermione because of this programming; that I'm convinced that Hermione harbors a deeper love for me than she's willing to admit to herself when really nothing else is there.
This is stupid.
I don't believe in a higher love, there's just behavior. Hermione cares for me but keeps me at range until she's intoxicated enough to want sexual release, which I can deliver expertly. End of line. I may not mean anything to her anymore. Hermione hasn't sent any letters at all and it's been over two weeks... wait, I can see Hedwig on the horizon!
Be right back!
Holly
*
Mum, Minerva,
Here's the process of it. I don't want to write anymore.
Transcription: 4th July, 1994 starting 10:13 AM
Holly rushes from her bedroom, down the staircase and through the den to the front door.
Holly: "Post! Post! I'm getting my post!"
Vernon: "Stop your yelping you freak! It's Sunday! There's no post on Sunday!"
Holly: "OWL POST, Uncle Grumpy! Hermione's sent me letters!"
Holly bounces out the front door and onto the walkway. She jumps in place a few times, seeing Hedwig winging her way with strong flaps towards Holly's outstretched arm. At the last house Hedwig suddenly veers off and upward.
Holly: "Oh, don't you start with the teasing..."
The air cracks behind Holly with a boom like thunder. Hedwig explodes in a ball of blood and white feathers.
Vernon: "That's enough of that ruddy bird, and your deviancy!"
Holly screams and drops to her knees, her hands held just inches above her head. Holly's whole body begins to shudder for a moment before she breathes out harshly and sucks in a voluminous gasp of air. Her entire body stays clenched for five seconds before Holly leaps to her feet and whirls around to face her uncle.
Vernon cocks the 12-bore shotgun and gives a brief smirk at Holly's glare.
Vernon: "No more post. No more magic! NO MORE!"
Holly begins to stride directly at Vernon, unsettling the man with the fierce precision of her movements.
Vernon: "N-now, you know y-you c-can't do m-magic here..."
Holly: "Why would I? I don't want this to be quick..."
Vernon finally recognises Holly's lethal intent and lowers the shotgun to empty a shell into Holly's abdomen, sending her spinning to the ground. [Newt is flung into the grass in the process]
Vernon: "N-now you just stay down you freak! I'll do you in, I will!"
Holly coughs out some blood onto the lawn, and then launches forward from her crouch faster than Vernon can blink, striking his arm with her knee. The shotgun is jostled in Vernon's grip and Holly uses both hands to yank the weapon from his grip. Holly spins in place, knocking Vernon out from under his feet. Holly switches her grip on the firearm, bringing it to bear at Vernon's face. Holly cocks the barrel.
Vernon: "It's just a ruddy b-bird! Wh-what has g-gotten into you?!"
Holly's grimace of pain reveals the depth of her feelings on the matter. She begins a quiet, painful wail that seeps out through her clenched, blood-stained teeth. Several seconds pass as the tension in Holly's body rises. Vernon voids his bladder while weeping into the barrel of his own hunting gun.
Holly: "Because... I... promised..."
Holly changes targets and unloads the firearm into Vernon's right leg. His knee, the soil beneath it and part of the drive brick explodes into a mix of bloody particulates. Vernon screams in pain and horror. Petunia rushes out the front door and stops short in the face of the gun barrel, as Holly cocks the weapon once more.
Petunia: "What have you done?"
Holly pulls the trigger with a click. She cocks the gun again. Click.
Petunia: "(Gasp) I-I never meant..."
A sound like a bubble popping behind Holly announces the arrival of Albus Dumbledore. Unfortunately he chooses to land within a meter of Holly's reach. Holly's grip switches as she spins in place, and the Headmaster is bludgeoned to the ground by the steel tube knocking against his temple. Holly flips the weapon over to grip the gun by the barrel and raises the gun high above her head. Albus raises his arms in protest.
Albus: "Holly it's me!"
Holly: "You think I didn't know that? Go ahead! Reach for it! Raise your wand against me one more time and I will END YOU!"
Albus: "With that... gun?"
Holly: "With anything I have! Gun, sword, wand, claw or bludgeon; I'll choke you with your own beard, old man! Your death at my hands is INEVITABLE should you raise a wand against me ever again. I SWEAR IT!"
Natalia: "Dormus."
Holly slumps to the ground, dropping the shotgun onto the grass. Petunia rushes forward to tend to Vernon, who has passed out from pain and bloodloss. Natalia trots quickly up from the street to Holly's prone form and checks her condition while keeping her wand trained on Albus. [Newt climbs onto Holly, weaving herself into Holly's leather belt]
Albus: "Thank Merlin! Nymphadora, I hope you..."
Natalia: "Shut up and stay on the ground. All I know right now is that Holly wasn't in the process of killing you, so I won't complete the task. OH! Oh, Hedwig..."
Natalia begins to sniffle as she continues to survey the landscape. Albus begins to sit up from his position on the walkway.
Albus: "Nymphadora, it is imperative that we move Holly away from this place and to a secure location until I can repair the situation she has created."
Natalia: "Incarcerous."
Albus is suddenly bound in ropes from Natalia's wand, covering him up to his bent nose and startled expression.
Natalia: "Y'know Professor, you have an unusual tendency to be wrong whenever it relates to Holly. You should look into that."
Several popping sounds herald the arrival of four blue-cloaked men.
Auror 1: "Oi, Tonks! You trip on something for the hundredth time today but this time you think it's an omen? Whoa! Alright lads, we have a cleanup and approaching Bobbies to handle."
Auror 2: "Merlin, Tonks! Did you actually attack Dumbledore? That's serious stones you're carrying!"
Natalia: "He was trying to do our jobs for us. Briggs, Murphy, please shut up and seal the scene. This muggle needs medical attention and then we have some un-explaining to do."
Natalia turns to crouch over Albus.
Natalia: "Sir, I'm going to release you now, but if you don't pull back your mental invasion I'm going to accidently break your hip. A lot."
Albus nods. Natalia waves her wand over his body and the ropes unbind and fade into the grass.
Albus: "You have grown since last we spoke. I'd like to commend you..."
Natalia: "Save it. Holly's leaving, but you'll be difficult if we go where you can't find us and she needs some care and medical attention. Where do you suggest?"
Albus: "Hogwarts."
Natalia: "Try again. Madame Pomfrey is probably on vacation anyway, and I'm not taking her somewhere for you to play with her head."
Albus: "The Weasleys, then."
Natalia: "Alright. You bring her; I'll meet you there in a few minutes."
Natalia assists Albus in rising to his feet and then turns towards the other Aurors.
Natalia: "We're moving the student to a safe location for care. I'll do the paperwork if you lads convince the neighbors and constabulary that this was a fireworks display gone wrong."
Briggs: "You're on!"
Albus walks tenderly over to Holly's unconscious body, kneels down to grasp her shoulders and Apparates us to a lonely field. Over the rise can be seen a ramshackle four-story building- the Burrow. Two redheads flying on brooms above the field notice our arrival and change vector to land next Holly and Albus.
Ron: "What's going on, Professor?"
Ginny: "Oh, Merlin! Holly's been injured! Ron, get Mum!"
Ron: "I'm on it."
Ron hops back onto the broom and speeds away across the field.
Transcription ends.
Thanks, Newt. I won't bother you for a while.
Mum, I woke up about an hour ago. Natalia caught me up and handed me a shoebox containing Hedwig's remains. We cried and talked together for a bit until I was calmer, and then she gave me a kiss and headed back to the office. Newt's probably as heartbroken as I am. She's been swirling around in a fishbowl since we got here. Molly fixed me up, though the blast has left another fun scar in my abdomen, straight through the back as well. The Weasleys have me occupying Ginny's bed for the next few nights and they've all personally expressed their sorrow over my loss. Dobby brought over my stuff from the Dursleys and gave my leg a hug in sympathy before he returned to the Madhouse (or more likely Bathilda's couch). I feel horrible, but somehow not as horrible as I thought I would. It's good to have friends.
Love,
Holly
*
Holly Evans and the Spiral Path
Chapter 35: Successive Cruelty
18th June, 1994
Holly,
At your earliest opportunity, please let me know if you need my assistance to relocate you. I will come for you in three days if I don't hear from you before then. I have had a discussion with Professor Dumbledore over his inappropriate actions and while I agree that the Dursley house is warded in ways unavailable to other locations, that does not permit him to make your choices for you. I have not mentioned the Madhouse but I did intimate that you had other options for living arrangements with reasonable security. I'd like you to consider the following and inform me of your preference.
1. You stay at the Dursleys.
2. You stay with me in the house in Ferness. I have to say that I will be extremely busy this summertime, so if you select this option you will need to accompany me on some of my errands. The Education Fund's newfound wealth has prompted an explosion in candidates for student enrollment from low-income and muggleborn students. I will likely spend every day speaking to multiple families about their educational options in the magical world. You would need to be on your best behavior, of course.
3. You move to stay with the Weasleys. Albus has agreed reluctantly to expand their wards in cooperation with their eldest son William, who now works for Gringott's Bank as a warding specialist. I can see where this may seem dangerous to you, but I doubt that Bill would choose his employer's interests over those of his family.
4. If you can arrange it with Miss Tonks, we might be able to convince Albus that her flat has sufficient anonymity and protections for you to stay there, even if you actually reside in the Madhouse. I wouldn't put it past the Headmaster to test those protections, so this seems the least defensible choice.
Write soon.
With love,
Minerva
*
19th June, 1994
Mum,
Believe it or not, I'm going with option 1 for the time being. I've discovered something that makes staying here a much different experience than ever before. It all comes down to a clock that I broke.
When I initially woke up I was feeling weak, tired and fucked-over, but more than anything I was feeling 'affected'. Luna's Poppy had stripped away numerous layers of behavior-modifying magic and as my head finally cleared of my concussion, I could see in my mind just how much static I've had to wade through. One of the volumes I 'recovered' from the Slytherin library was called 'Weaving and Unraveling Compulsions'. I used the meditation techniques described in there to sort through the most obvious taints on my mind. It's not unlike how short-wave operators filter out interfering signals, I suppose. I haven't uncovered the details of every single spell, but I've already identified the ones that were actively affecting me here.
-Albus' Confundus said (as Newt indicated) "You need to stay at the Dursley's and practice being Harry." I've removed that one.
-This journal says "Unburden your heart by writing the truth within." I see no reason to change that now that the Journal works both ways. I don't think it'll affect your copy as you wrote the Compulsion to seed into the pages of my copy as they were added. Of course, I may decide to switch them when you're not looking one of these days just for the fun of it.
-The mantel clock in the Dursley's living room was saying "All evidence of magic should be hidden, minimalised, locked away or destroyed." I'm guessing my relatives interpreted me as a form of evidence. It also had a recent addition that said "Do not harm Harry Potter." Nice of Albus to concern himself though I note it doesn't apply to me, just my male alter-ego. Given the logical conflict between these two commands, if I had changed form in front of my relatives they probably would have suffered a psychotic break.
It took me an hour to pinpoint where those whispers were coming from, and the minute I broke that bloody thing I knew I had made the right choice. Petunia walked into the den and said, "Oh! Holly, did the clock get broken? Well it's all for the best, I've often felt it didn't match the room. Toss the remains into the bin and we'll go shopping this afternoon for a replacement. You look like you could use some new clothes, as well." I was still standing there stunned fifteen minutes later when Dudley came back to the house and asked me if I could help him train for boxing. He thought I could help since I looked like I had been keeping fit. So has he, by the way. Natalia's wandwork seems to have motivated him to trim up a bit. He also isn't leering at me so the 'sisterly cousin' suggestion may be curbing his more lascivious tendencies, at least towards me. He's still a bully, but if he's listening to me now I may be able to get him to actually think for himself and consider the feelings of others on occasion.
I'm going to go back to meditating with the Bacchus Poppy and see what else I can uncover. In the meantime, I'll be just fine getting to know the new version of my relatives.
Love,
Holly
*
Holly,
That you have a family once more is wonderful, remarkable news! I am very happy for you, and also a bit relieved to know my estimation of their character was not so far afield. I feel some small obligation to mention that the Compulsions on that clock do not seem to have been directed towards harming you, even if that became the effect. Having said that, they were worded in a way that might seem innocuous yet yield dramatically negative results. I suggest we confront Albus about this together. I will see about arranging a meeting for us in a few weeks.
Let me know what else you are able to uncover in your meditations, but please exercise caution in the use of that intoxicant. I have heard of the Dionysian Poppy before, in relation to the legends of Kublai Khan's Pleasure Dome. As poppies are native to central Asia, the stories may be closer to truth than the muggles ever suspected.
With love,
Minerva
*
23rd June, 1994
On the occasion of my cousin Dudley's birthday, I gave him the most unusual gift you or I could imagine him getting from me. I explained sex to him. This started because, as I mentioned earlier, Dudley asked me to help him train for boxing. At first it was just exercises, but once I convinced him that despite my size and gender I could still deliver a punch, he and I started sparring in the basement. It only took me flattening him four times before he started taking me seriously, and since then we've both learned a lot about footwork and pugilism. The first few times he caught me with a hook or an expertly-thrown feint he was very apologetic, but we've moved past that now and it doesn't take but a moment for us to get into training mode. It was during our last sparring session that he started some of his 'wink, wink; nudge, nudge' talk and I confronted him on his love life. I had to honestly admit having had sex already and described the process of it, but I quickly realised that the boy was bereft of even the most basic instruction in the topic. After we were done boxing, I went to town and bought new copies of the books Petunia once sent me (to make sure the birth control sections were included) and sat him down for a whole different kind of training. After we had discussed things for a while, Dudley asked me three interesting questions.
"Do girls want sex as much as boys?"
"Nearly so, but it's a very different effect on a girl's reputation to have done it than for a boy. Also, the act itself as you can see is really... intrusive. If a homosexual wanted to have sex with you, it would probably involve his penis entering your arse, yah?"
"That is not happening!"
"Wasn't saying anything about you, Dudley. Just imagine the feeling of the action, but for a girl it's actually expected to be done. See? Intrusive. That's why you have to be gentle and responsive about it. You do it right, she'll want it more. You do it wrong and that'll be one more girl telling all the other girls how awful sex is, and how awful you are."
"That makes sense. Holly, why are you being decent to me about this? I mean, we treated you horribly. Why aren't you taking it out on me?"
"It's in my interests for you to treat girls well, for one. Also, I broke the magic that was making you all cruel to me, so I'm treating you like a new roommate. The other Dudley was just... Dud. You're turning out to be the beginnings of a decent bloke. No reason for me to hate you for things you didn't choose to believe."
"Thanks for that."
"No worries."
"Holly, the creepy Santa-bloke said you could turn into your brother, Harry."
"Yeah."
"Um, could I box with him from now on?"
"Sure. I just need to get some exercise togs that fit for him. We'll start tomorrow."
"By the way, does everyone in your world dress like Professor Hummel- uhh...?"
"Dumbledore? No, he's a flaming homo with egregious fashion sense."
"I'll keep my backside away from him from now on!"
"That might help. I should probably do the same."
Alright, so maybe it was four interesting questions. Anyway, it served to change the nature of our relationship. I'm fairly sure I haven't created a monster so much as prevented one from developing. We'll see.
Holly
*
25th June, 1994
Mum,
It is my sad duty to report that my uncle is naturally an arsehole. I wasn't sure at first, as his behavior shifted a bit along with Petunia and Dudley when I broke the mantel clock, but he still harbors a very potent hatred for magic in general and me in particular. It became clear when Vernon came down to the basement and found Dudley and me (as Harry) just finishing a bout. The profanity that erupted from him upon seeing me change back into Holly was frightening, but not nearly as much as when Dudley said "But Dad, it's just a little magic and isn't even against the rules!" Vernon clubbed his own son to the ground with such a backhand that I was sure he was carrying a lead weight in his fist. Vernon was even more surprised than I was when Dudley rushed to stand back up and strike his father in the jaw. That ended the argument, as Vernon retreated to the living room to stew for the rest of the evening, even skipping supper so as not to have to share a table with me. I thanked Dudley and he said "I had to do it, or he would have gone after you next. Sorry 'bout him."
I have a theory. Petunia and Dudley are from the Evans blood where magic flows. Vernon is completely muggle, so he may be stuck holding onto the Compulsions long after the clock was destroyed. This may also explain why Petunia and Dudley recovered so quickly. That Compulsion was forcing them to hate and hide a part of themselves as well.
Holly
*
3rd July, 1994
Mum,
My nightly meditations have finally produced results, and I couldn't be more sorry for that if I tried. I just... here's what I've got.
"Do Not Notice Luna" - I knew about this, but I've been finding her at the edge of many more memories than I expected. If you're familiar with 'Where's Waldo?', there's a distinct similarity.
"Give credit to Harry for your victories whenever possible" - Explains a few things, doesn't it? Likely this one came from Albus.
"Do not trust Albus Dumbledore" - I think this was left by Lily. She had a few more things to say.
"Always know that your mother loves you." - This one has saved my sanity a few times, so I left it in place. It almost redeems Lily for this one:
"My sweet child, I want you to find the brightest witch close to your age, Muggleborn preferably and with a strong will and moral compass- fall in love with her, support her, challenge her so that she may be worthy of the secrets I have yet uncovered and help her to remake this magical world into something where all great minds can flourish. Share pleasure with her but don't force yourself upon her. Stay loyal in the face of temptation. These things will make you both happy."
The only reason I'm not cutting open my wrists at this moment is because this isn't a Compulsion, just a buried memory that was magically reinforced. I love Hermione. I love Natalia. I love Newt as my daughter and I love you as my Godmother. But right now, I HATE LILY POTTER!
Holly
*
Mum,
This is even more disturbing. A half hour after I had cried myself to sleep my nightmares came back with a vengeance.
They came at me fast and hard, showing horrific things. Rapes, tortures, deranged revels where muggles were made to dance like marionettes while begging for their lives or wishing they would 'wake up now'. I know the feeling, and I recognise some of these dreams as I've had them before, ever since I can recall. It may be that I share more than my mother's soul in this body, yet these aren't things my mother had ever experienced... but Riddle would have. I think Riddle left a little part of himself behind, too, either the night I became a girl or in the Chamber of Secrets. I'm thinking it's the former. The nightmares showed up strongly after the Chamber, but the thoughts didn't seem unfamiliar, just more powerful. His thorn in my head was no doubt enriched by the change in my biology just as I was and like a honeybee's sting, it continues to pump poison into my dreams.
Riddle has been rotting my mind from the inside. Perhaps I am becoming evil, after all.
Holly
*
3rd July, 1994
Holly,
First off, you are not evil. You do not take pleasure in the pain of others. You do not take from others simply because you can. I am concerned that you are developing a tendency to impose your will upon others and choose what your loved ones are allowed to know about you, even after the fact. If I were to include such things in the definition of evil however, I would be required to condemn our Headmaster as he has far exceeded you in such sins. Adulthood comes with recognising that hard choices have to do with minimizing the overall pain inflicted by their selection. There isn't always a 'good' option.
I understand the choices you have already made, but please reflect on them in your quiet times. Were they the best decisions? Could you have made better, or more honourable ones? For example, did the elf, Urkel have to die? Did Flint? Were the other Slytherins merely defeated, or did you exact vengeance for your pain? You have walked at the edge of a narrow path. It is my job to remind you that you don't need to live at that edge. Evil comes first when you stop caring whether you've fallen, and it entrenches itself when you start to enjoy the suffering of others.
I do not know how you might be experiencing nightmares from Mr. Riddle, but this seems like something worth sharing with the headmaster, should he descend from his ivory tower to discuss such things with us common folk. As to your mother's matchmaking, please consider this; Lily embedded the memory so it would affect your beliefs, but for all intents and purposes it would be no different than if Lily herself had said the same words to you several times as you were growing up. It was a wish for you, and you found Hermione all on your own. I also believe that your initial affection for Hermione was based upon the love and trust that she extended to you before your confrontation with the possessed Professor Quirrel; affection you had yet to receive from anyone since your isolation with the Dursleys. You also found Natalia, so I don't believe your proclivities have much to do with following Lily's instructions. I do not think you truly feel for these women based solely upon your mother's lingering influence. For certain, if Lily exhibited any personal girl-fondness it was not evidenced in her behavior at school nor from the details of her journals you've been kind enough to share with me. I think that in this case, your instincts will guide you to the truth. They have guided you to help redeem your cousin. Remember the good that you do.
With love,
Minerva
*
4th July, 1994
Mum,
Thanks, but I wasn't worried about my sexuality- I know what I like. Anyway, Lily's words were left for Harry to follow, so I doubt she even considered that it might be encouraging cross-orientation sexuality. Though it does assume Harry would be straight, I can't say whether she considered the possibility and chose to ignore it or maybe she just 'knew' he'd like girls. My concern is that I'm not moving on from Hermione because of this programming; that I'm convinced that Hermione harbors a deeper love for me than she's willing to admit to herself when really nothing else is there.
This is stupid.
I don't believe in a higher love, there's just behavior. Hermione cares for me but keeps me at range until she's intoxicated enough to want sexual release, which I can deliver expertly. End of line. I may not mean anything to her anymore. Hermione hasn't sent any letters at all and it's been over two weeks... wait, I can see Hedwig on the horizon!
Be right back!
Holly
*
Mum, Minerva,
Here's the process of it. I don't want to write anymore.
Transcription: 4th July, 1994 starting 10:13 AM
Holly rushes from her bedroom, down the staircase and through the den to the front door.
Holly: "Post! Post! I'm getting my post!"
Vernon: "Stop your yelping you freak! It's Sunday! There's no post on Sunday!"
Holly: "OWL POST, Uncle Grumpy! Hermione's sent me letters!"
Holly bounces out the front door and onto the walkway. She jumps in place a few times, seeing Hedwig winging her way with strong flaps towards Holly's outstretched arm. At the last house Hedwig suddenly veers off and upward.
Holly: "Oh, don't you start with the teasing..."
The air cracks behind Holly with a boom like thunder. Hedwig explodes in a ball of blood and white feathers.
Vernon: "That's enough of that ruddy bird, and your deviancy!"
Holly screams and drops to her knees, her hands held just inches above her head. Holly's whole body begins to shudder for a moment before she breathes out harshly and sucks in a voluminous gasp of air. Her entire body stays clenched for five seconds before Holly leaps to her feet and whirls around to face her uncle.
Vernon cocks the 12-bore shotgun and gives a brief smirk at Holly's glare.
Vernon: "No more post. No more magic! NO MORE!"
Holly begins to stride directly at Vernon, unsettling the man with the fierce precision of her movements.
Vernon: "N-now, you know y-you c-can't do m-magic here..."
Holly: "Why would I? I don't want this to be quick..."
Vernon finally recognises Holly's lethal intent and lowers the shotgun to empty a shell into Holly's abdomen, sending her spinning to the ground. [Newt is flung into the grass in the process]
Vernon: "N-now you just stay down you freak! I'll do you in, I will!"
Holly coughs out some blood onto the lawn, and then launches forward from her crouch faster than Vernon can blink, striking his arm with her knee. The shotgun is jostled in Vernon's grip and Holly uses both hands to yank the weapon from his grip. Holly spins in place, knocking Vernon out from under his feet. Holly switches her grip on the firearm, bringing it to bear at Vernon's face. Holly cocks the barrel.
Vernon: "It's just a ruddy b-bird! Wh-what has g-gotten into you?!"
Holly's grimace of pain reveals the depth of her feelings on the matter. She begins a quiet, painful wail that seeps out through her clenched, blood-stained teeth. Several seconds pass as the tension in Holly's body rises. Vernon voids his bladder while weeping into the barrel of his own hunting gun.
Holly: "Because... I... promised..."
Holly changes targets and unloads the firearm into Vernon's right leg. His knee, the soil beneath it and part of the drive brick explodes into a mix of bloody particulates. Vernon screams in pain and horror. Petunia rushes out the front door and stops short in the face of the gun barrel, as Holly cocks the weapon once more.
Petunia: "What have you done?"
Holly pulls the trigger with a click. She cocks the gun again. Click.
Petunia: "(Gasp) I-I never meant..."
A sound like a bubble popping behind Holly announces the arrival of Albus Dumbledore. Unfortunately he chooses to land within a meter of Holly's reach. Holly's grip switches as she spins in place, and the Headmaster is bludgeoned to the ground by the steel tube knocking against his temple. Holly flips the weapon over to grip the gun by the barrel and raises the gun high above her head. Albus raises his arms in protest.
Albus: "Holly it's me!"
Holly: "You think I didn't know that? Go ahead! Reach for it! Raise your wand against me one more time and I will END YOU!"
Albus: "With that... gun?"
Holly: "With anything I have! Gun, sword, wand, claw or bludgeon; I'll choke you with your own beard, old man! Your death at my hands is INEVITABLE should you raise a wand against me ever again. I SWEAR IT!"
Natalia: "Dormus."
Holly slumps to the ground, dropping the shotgun onto the grass. Petunia rushes forward to tend to Vernon, who has passed out from pain and bloodloss. Natalia trots quickly up from the street to Holly's prone form and checks her condition while keeping her wand trained on Albus. [Newt climbs onto Holly, weaving herself into Holly's leather belt]
Albus: "Thank Merlin! Nymphadora, I hope you..."
Natalia: "Shut up and stay on the ground. All I know right now is that Holly wasn't in the process of killing you, so I won't complete the task. OH! Oh, Hedwig..."
Natalia begins to sniffle as she continues to survey the landscape. Albus begins to sit up from his position on the walkway.
Albus: "Nymphadora, it is imperative that we move Holly away from this place and to a secure location until I can repair the situation she has created."
Natalia: "Incarcerous."
Albus is suddenly bound in ropes from Natalia's wand, covering him up to his bent nose and startled expression.
Natalia: "Y'know Professor, you have an unusual tendency to be wrong whenever it relates to Holly. You should look into that."
Several popping sounds herald the arrival of four blue-cloaked men.
Auror 1: "Oi, Tonks! You trip on something for the hundredth time today but this time you think it's an omen? Whoa! Alright lads, we have a cleanup and approaching Bobbies to handle."
Auror 2: "Merlin, Tonks! Did you actually attack Dumbledore? That's serious stones you're carrying!"
Natalia: "He was trying to do our jobs for us. Briggs, Murphy, please shut up and seal the scene. This muggle needs medical attention and then we have some un-explaining to do."
Natalia turns to crouch over Albus.
Natalia: "Sir, I'm going to release you now, but if you don't pull back your mental invasion I'm going to accidently break your hip. A lot."
Albus nods. Natalia waves her wand over his body and the ropes unbind and fade into the grass.
Albus: "You have grown since last we spoke. I'd like to commend you..."
Natalia: "Save it. Holly's leaving, but you'll be difficult if we go where you can't find us and she needs some care and medical attention. Where do you suggest?"
Albus: "Hogwarts."
Natalia: "Try again. Madame Pomfrey is probably on vacation anyway, and I'm not taking her somewhere for you to play with her head."
Albus: "The Weasleys, then."
Natalia: "Alright. You bring her; I'll meet you there in a few minutes."
Natalia assists Albus in rising to his feet and then turns towards the other Aurors.
Natalia: "We're moving the student to a safe location for care. I'll do the paperwork if you lads convince the neighbors and constabulary that this was a fireworks display gone wrong."
Briggs: "You're on!"
Albus walks tenderly over to Holly's unconscious body, kneels down to grasp her shoulders and Apparates us to a lonely field. Over the rise can be seen a ramshackle four-story building- the Burrow. Two redheads flying on brooms above the field notice our arrival and change vector to land next Holly and Albus.
Ron: "What's going on, Professor?"
Ginny: "Oh, Merlin! Holly's been injured! Ron, get Mum!"
Ron: "I'm on it."
Ron hops back onto the broom and speeds away across the field.
Transcription ends.
Thanks, Newt. I won't bother you for a while.
Mum, I woke up about an hour ago. Natalia caught me up and handed me a shoebox containing Hedwig's remains. We cried and talked together for a bit until I was calmer, and then she gave me a kiss and headed back to the office. Newt's probably as heartbroken as I am. She's been swirling around in a fishbowl since we got here. Molly fixed me up, though the blast has left another fun scar in my abdomen, straight through the back as well. The Weasleys have me occupying Ginny's bed for the next few nights and they've all personally expressed their sorrow over my loss. Dobby brought over my stuff from the Dursleys and gave my leg a hug in sympathy before he returned to the Madhouse (or more likely Bathilda's couch). I feel horrible, but somehow not as horrible as I thought I would. It's good to have friends.
Love,
Holly
*
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