Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance

You'll Always Be With Me

by shehadtheworld12 7 reviews

Sometimes you have to let go of the ones you love most, and trust they will be free.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG - Genres: Angst,Drama - Characters: Gerard Way - Published: 2009-11-14 - Updated: 2010-11-13 - 2533 words - Complete

A/N: I’m not sure if this really relevant, but I thought I give it a shot, this a different one shot than what I’m used to writing. It may not make sense, but trust me to just keep reading. I hope you enjoy. This is strictly fiction. Any events related, are coincidental. I actually cried while writing this. Dedicated to some special people to me. Rates and Reviews are ALWAYS welcome (: xoxo

Two years. Two years Emilie prayed and hoped for a cure to come for her little one. She spent so many nights at the hospital, and medical treatment wasn’t cheap. She dedicated her entire world to the sleeping child in the hospital bed. This disease should have never happened to her child, nor anyone. It was unfair the way it happened, and she’d give anything to let it happen to her, not her child who was only three.

Emilie cried herself to sleep so many nights, her cheeks always had a pink flush. She was a wreck inside, but she never showed. After all, mothers had to be strong for their children. She only had one. One very special girl who was living in hell from this unruly disease. Emilie couldn’t pretend anymore, her child was dying. She was pale, only half alert of her senses, and the unmistakable look in her soft blue eyes. She was frail and very thin. The disease finally spread to her small body, and Emilie knew it had been too late.

Every test, every check up, nothing had changed. Only the sad and tragic awareness that there was no cure in treating the little girl. Emilie asked herself ‘why?’ a billion times, and no one ever answered. She was broken inside and the doctors only gave small sympathetic gestures, but nothing could make up for a dying child. It wasn’t like a cut that could be healed by a band aid. It was an actual human life at stake, and Emilie forever knew she would never be the same. She would never love anything as much as she did her child, and she wasn’t quite sure if she could go on without her. It just didn’t seem right.

Emilie remembered the day she first spotted its warning. The dark mark on Hailie's back was dead give away and when it was checked out, her nightmares had came true and Emilie turned her body around before breaking down. Ever since then her heart hurt from the intense pressure, and for a moment Emilie thought she was having a heart attack, but it was only her heart breaking.

That was also when Emilie questioned her religion. Would a person allow such things to happen to a child? Was this punishment? Taking the one thing she cherished most away? Emilie could not express her sorrow, but the doctor had seen it a million times. Emilie was no different from the other mothers who had lost a child to cancer. Emilie recalled every night she spent looking out the window wishing this was not her life. The pain she felt inside out and the worry her heart carried which each day that passed.

She was lying when she said she was okay. She was lying when she said she would get through this. She was also lying when she told herself things would get better. She tried to hold onto last piece rope of hope, but it was becoming impossible, and it felt as if a force was prying her fingers off of that rope. She had prepared for the worst. But she would always remember that smile that looked back at her and made her the greatest word ever. Mother. Emilie relished the day she was born and the brightness Hailie brought with her and turned Emilie’s life to a fairy tale. She had everything she wanted, and then just like that it was rudely stolen from her, forcing her to face the cold reality that she had never thought existed….

Which brings us up to now. The breaking point in someone’s life when they witness their loved one lying on a bed hooked up to life support. Emilie had tried everything but nothing had worked. Hailie’s body was in a permanent coma and the disease had fully ceased her small body. Emilie held on to the small girl’s hand who could not speak, nor see what was around her. The only thing that seemed to be working was heart, and even that needed help. It was the hardest thing a mother ever had to see, which was their child lying there.

Emilie’s dark hair fell down her shoulders as she looked out the familiar window and seeing the colorful trees swaying with the trees. She refused to leave the hospital and even packed clothes to change to. Nothing, nor anyone could make her leave. She never planned to leave her child who needed her more than ever. She didn’t seem to acknowledge the doctor who stood beside her until he gently put a hand on her shoulder. Emilie turned her sad brown eyes to the man with gray hair and facial expression did not indicate good news. His posture made Emilie want to cry all over again. The doctor closed his eyes and shook his head.

“I’m so sorry Emilie but there’s nothing more we can do. If we do anymore work it will only destroy everything. The disease is too strong.” He bowed his head as Emilie took deep breaths. She closed her eyes and exhaled, the familiar pressure on her heart building gradually.

“What are my options?” She looked back at him, with tears already flowing down her ivory cheeks. Dr. Page just shook his head once more.

“You can either keep her on it, or you can let her go.” He whispered and Emilie put her head in her hands and sobbed. This wasn’t something she was ready to handle. She knew it would come down to this but now it was actually happening, she couldn’t bare it.

If she kept her on the machine, there would be no progress. She would always remain stuck to the hospital bed in a sleep and Emilie couldn’t imagine her child having to spend her life in a place like this. Two years was all she had under her belt, but the memories would last forever. And even if it killed her inside, Emilie’s intuition had told her what needed to be done.

“I can’t let her suffer anymore.” She sniffed and the doctor nodded.

“I’m going to give you some time before we turn it off. I’m so very sorry Emilie.”

Without a another word he walked out closing the door behind him, leaving Emilie alone with her child where she stood up with shaky hands while walking to the medium sized bed. The only sound was the heart monitor beeping and Emilie’s eyes teared of knowing it was going stop for good.

She gently kneeled on the child’s bed. Her eyes closed and her brown wavy hair pooling around her. She looked peaceful, but her pale body told different. Emilie’s fingers brushed through Hailey’s hair as she bit her lip in effort to speak. She hesitated but her opened her mouth.

“I don’t know what to say without me crying. I remember like it was yesterday when I brought you home. You were wrapped in a pink blanket, and your eyes shined like the ocean. I remember being so happy to have you around, my life felt…complete. But then…” She trailed off before wiping her eyes, but tears had only dropped again where she wiped.

“I never wanted this come to you. I had no idea it would. Sometimes life has unexpected events and we’re forced to live with them. I love you so much Hailey, you’re my first child. I’d do anything for you and if that meant me sacrificing myself for you, I would do it. I would do it in a heartbeat if that meant you could walk out of here.”

Emilie’s hand had now gripped Hailey’s. She held it tight and never wanted to let go.

“I guess God had other plans for you. I know you’re going to make a beautiful angel in Heaven sweetie. You won’t be in pain anymore, and you’ll be meeting with Jinx again. I know that dog has been waiting for you and I want to you be free from this. Free from this disease, the pain. You deserve so much more, and I have to let you go because I know you would want to be in peace.” Emilie put Hailey’s hand to her lips and kissed it gently while her eyes became blurry from tears. She looked back at the small girl and exhaled once more to steady herself, but it was impossible. Emilie could feel her own body tremble in pain.

“And I want to you know how much I absolutely love you. How much you mean to me, and that there will never be another Hailie. No one could be as special and sweet as you are and it hurts me so much to have to say goodbye but I want you know we will be together again. I want to you be happy and live eternally free from pain. You were so strong and now you don’t have to fight anymore. I wish I never had to say this to you. I’ll be so lost without you but I know you’re smiles and you’re laughter will always be stored in my heart. Everything you did, I’ll remember. I want to you have fun and I’ll miss you so much.” She sobbed and laid her head on next to the child, her arms embracing her. Her tears soaked the blankets but that didn’t matter. Emilie stood up and kissed Hailie’s forehead and cupped her cheek. This would be the last time she saw her and Emilie’s body convulsed. Her crying become intense, her hiccups forming in between her sobs.

“I love you so much.” Was all she repeated before Dr. Page had come back in with two female nurses. They both looked at each other and tried not shed their own tears on what was about to take place. She stood back and Dr. Page put her hand on Emilie’s and took a deep breath.

“She’s going somewhere special.” He smiled and Emilie nodded.

“We have to do this now, are you sure?” He asked and she nodded again. He handed her a paper and Emilie managed to sign with shaky hands. He nodded and looked at the nurses who stood around Hailey. Emilie kneeled down and grabbed Hailie’s hand before putting on her heart.

“I love you. We’ll be meeting again.” She closed her eyes as Dr. Page did some writing before feeling his heart tug as he reached for the cord of the machine. He pulled it and Emilie opened her eyes and watched the heart monitor slowly drag out into one line, her heartbeat slowing and then it finally stopped. The line beeped one last time and Emilie finally collapsed and hid herself in Hailie’s hair. She sobbed harder than ever did before. She kissed Hailie's hair, cooing softly to her. Her heart felt heavy and she wanted to scream. The two nurses had wiped their own cheeks as they watched the broken mother before them. Emilie hugged her one last time and gave her one last kiss before standing up and letting the nurses begin their work…

All Emilie could do was watch while she held a hand to heart. Even though it hurt more than anything, she knew deep down Hailey was free…


1 month later

Emilie wandered through her scrapbook she made a week after Hailie had passed. Her heart was still healing, and Emilie knew it never would. She was alone in the house missing the noise of feet running around. She smiled as she overlooked a picture of Hailey overlooking the sea. Her hair in the wind and her smile alive as ever. She could sometimes feel a soft presence around, and she knew it was her. Emilie had decided to donate Hailey’s organs to other children who needed them just as bad. Emilie would never forgive herself if she buried Hailey and let her body go to waste. She smiled knowing Hailie saved someone else’s life, and somehow she was still living.

Emilie was lost in her thoughts, when a knock on the door snapped her out of it. She raised an eyebrow wondering who could be at door some late in the afternoon. She made her way to the door and opened it slowly revealing a woman who had pretty ivory skin with long black hair and her eyes were coated in black and she wore red lipstick. Her arm had a sleeve of tattoos and she looked nervous. Out of the corner of her eye, Emilie could see a Trans Am.

“Can I help you?” Emilie said softly. The woman looked at her carefully.

“Are you Emilie Redding?” She asked and Emilie nodded. She was surprised when the woman pulled her into a soft hug. She stood back and looked as if she was crying.

“I’m so sorry to drop by like this. My name is Lindsey Way and I’ve been looking forever for you. I just wanted to thank you.”

Emilie smiled but was confused. Lindsey began to speak.

“About 6 months ago me, my husband Gerard, and my daughter were in a unfortunate car accident, we were hit by a drunk driver. We managed to survive, but my daughter had…heart problems. We did everything we could to help her, but she ultimately needed a heart transplant. We waited forever for a donor to save her, but then you came along.”

Tears slipped down her cheeks, but she continued.

“Your daughter’s heart saved my daughter. I wanted to thank you in person because I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am for that. But I am very sorry for the loss of your daughter.” The woman spoke softly and Emilie smiled before embracing the woman, her own tears falling from her cheeks.

“She would’ve wanted me to.” Emilie whispered and Lindsey smiled through the tears. The two women held each other, both of them thinking of how much they would do for their children…

Emilie stood over the sea smiling. She felt happier since her encounter with Lindsey. She never was more appreciative to finally know her daughter helped someone else. She inhaled the scent of the ocean held up her hand that had a card and a balloon in it. She took a deep breath before releasing the card and watching it flow in the breeze and up into the sky. She smiled once more.

“Happy birthday Hailie.”
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