FicWad

First off, I just want to say a big THANK YOU! to everyone who reviewed and rated that last chapter. After reading it over and over again, I still don't see how anyone liked it. But, as Taylor keeps saying (bless her demonized soul LoL) I'm a great writer. I suppose.. I shall just have to trust the powers of my bestestestest friend :) I LUFF YOU! And the rest of you, of course. Also.. I'm going to try and refrain from writing anything erm.. "sexual" for a while xD I'm too young for that sh!t haha

Second, I was so excited when I finished writing this that I didn't really edit it all. So any spelling mistakes or anything unusual, lemme know!

ENJOY, LOVES!

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Crash and burn and down we go,
Reach for my hand I’ll pull you up
Never let go, you will fall
They’ll rip you apart as flames burn you down

Kill loved ones and ones you desire most
Depart you from life itself doing no good
People cry, people burn, people have no clue what to give in return

Happy thoughts, happy people
Though they never told you what to do next
They say you’ll do fine but they don’t know
How you fly, how you land
They’ll never know

Crash and burn down we go,
Reach for my hand I’ll pull you up
Never let go, you’ll fall
They’ll rip you apart as flames burn you down
Kill loved ones and ones you desire most
Depart you from life itself doing no good
People cry, people burn, people have no clue what to give in return

They treat you well
They treat you good
For the sweet things that slowly kills you
Shout and scream, kick all you like
You’ll never get out of this life.

Crash and burn down we go,
Reach for my hand I’ll pull you up
Never let go, you’ll fall
They’ll rip you apart as flames burn you down
Kill loved ones and ones you desire most
Depart you from life itself doing no good
People cry, people burn, people have no clue what to give in return

The crowd screams as Eat The Lie finishes their second-to-last song and I take a deep, shuddering breath. I can't quite explain it, but lately I've been nervous. Well actually, I can sort of explain it, but it isn't going to sound very good. Ever since ETL joined up with us on this tour as the opening band's opening band, and our shows have been getting even more crammed full, I've felt the need to be better than ever before. To, you know, not be upped by some two-bit band from Indiana. Oh God, that sounds really bad.. Okay uh, in other words, they're way better than us. I'm not even kidding. The crowds always end up cheering louder for them than they do for us and My Chem put together. And they haven't even been together as long as we have! It's so annoying. Don't get me wrong, I have absolutely nothing against the band members, excluding Jackie (of course). I'm sorry, did that sound mean? Good. Jackie and Taylor... Ugh! I just don't get how people are able to break up with someone that they "love" and then get with another person like, the next day! Or, in Taylor's case, the exact SAME day. It's just so.. so.. UGH!

Okay, to cover a little bit of ground on my current relationship rampage thing, me and Jeremy haven't been doing so good. And that's partially why I'm nervous as well. Remember the night I got home from the hospital? I'll give you one guess where he disappeared off to... ETL's apartment! Supposedly he went with Taylor, but Taylor doesn't remember seeing him there. But then again, she was a bit "busy" with Jackie. Ew.. Anyway, that's only half of it. The other half is everything that happened after Jeremy yelled at me, because he thought I didn't want him anymore. That made a small dent in our relationship. But one of the biggest reasons is how far we went after that fight. I've been feeling more and more awkward around him lately, and I'm pretty sure it's because of what we did. Doing all that just reminded me that I'm really not ready to go that far, with anybody, no matter how close we are or how long we've been dating. Too bad I didn't listen to that feeling I had to stop him, eh?

"Amy, you ready? We're on in like, ten minutes," Jack, the new tech guy, says as he passes by. I open my mouth to answer but shut it right away. He's already moved on to talk to Gerard about something.

"Yeah," I say to myself. "I'm perfectly ready to go on in ten! My boyfriend's lying to me, I flirted with Gerard, and to make matters worse, I'm insanely jealous of a stupid new band!" I groan at how pathetic that sounds, just as I hear someone walk over to me.

"Uh, Amy?" I look over and see Taylor frowning.

"Yeah?" I start to itch my eye and stop, remembering the makeup that's currently inhabiting my face. "What, Taylor?" I'm hoping she isn't going to say anything about what I just said. It's bad enough that I'm jealous, but it's worse if she heard me say that I was jealous.

"I'm really sorry about uh, the other night." I frown and turn so that I'm facing her fully.

"Why? I mean, you don't have to apologize for hanging out with your girlfriend." I say it with the hint of a smile, not wanting to get into anything at the moment. She knows that I don't exactly like Jackie, but she doesn't know just how much.

"I'm not apologizing about that," she says slowly. I don't understand. "I'm talking about not telling you about Jeremy." I shuffle my feet a little bit, something I do when I'm starting to feel sick. "Look, normally I wouldn't want you to get all, y'know, worried before a show, but I need to tell you-"

"What are you guys doing just standing around?" Connor asks, running over and handing Taylor her bass. "They're coming off the stage at any minute, and we need to be ready!"

"But I thought Jack said-"

"Don't listen to Jack! He just says what he has to say to get to Gerard, you know that!" I did know it. Everyone knows Jack is gay and has the most massive crush on Gerard, except Gerard himself. Of course. He keeps defending young Jack, saying to give him a break because he's just a kid. Puh-lease. "Come on!"

"Okay okay, chill your fucking panties down!" Taylor grumbles, trotting over to Jeremy and Maggie. I lick my lips and slowly jog over, pondering about what Taylor was about to tell me. Thanks, Taylor, I think, grabbing my mic. Not only am I nervous, I'm now worried. Great going, bestie.

"Thank you guys so much!" I hear Sarah scream. Okay, before you get all confused, lemme break it down for you: Sarah is the blue-eyed, light brown-haired beauty of Eat The Lie. She's actually one of the two new people who doesn't get on my nerves. She's kind of like Maggie in the sense that she keeps her band in check..most of the time, anyway. Rihanna's the grey-eyed, practically-black-haired "beauty". She, along with Jackie, gets on my nerves. ALL THE FREAKING TIME. And that's not the worst part. I am constantly finding all sorts of drugs on her person. She doesn't really snort or inject, but she's always swallowing something that whacks her out and more than once I've seen her smoking when we're taking a shower break. Laura plays lead guitar, and just like me and Connor she writes all the songs. She's got brown eyes that matches her hair. She's tall, in a way, and doesn't really talk a lot. But once she gets going, she just can't stop. Kind of like Connor, who (I'm pretty sure) may have a small crush on her. Leah, now.. she's the blond haired, hazel-eyed copy-cat one. She hangs out with Rhianna and follows along with just about anything she does. They're kind of like me and Taylor, except way worse. And if you thought we were perverted, oh my goodness! You should hear them talk. Jacqueline, a.k.a Jackie, has electric-red hair and intense green eyes. I think that's what Taylor finds most attractive about her, actually. She's pretty unpredictable and smokes just about anything. Lucky for her, I haven't found any of her green stash. I'd be tempted to throw them out the window if I ever do.

"Hey, you ready?" Jeremy squeezes my hand lightly and I smile. No matter how unbelievably pissed I am at him, his little squeezes always make it just a little better. But I'm still going to have to talk to him after this show.

"Yeah, I think so. Everyone else good?" Mumbles of yes and hell yes greet my ears and I smile. "Okay, remember that solo we talked about, Connor?" I don't really have to ask him if he remembers. Connor remembers practically everything, and doesn't need a telling twice. He, of course, nods.

"Yup."

"Good." I take another deep, shuddering breath and step closer to Jeremy. He wraps an arm around me and leans his head on top of mine. The crowd screams a bit more and when I look towards the stage exit I see Sarah in the lead, smiling, as ETL runs off-stage. Jackie runs straight over to Taylor, who wraps her up in a hug and they share a kiss. It takes all my effort not to make any noises like I did with Frank and Maggie (who, by the way, are having a snog-fest).

"Alright, guys, we're lowering the curtain and the lights are being dimmed. Grab your stuff and hurry. Five minutes," Robbie says. Robbie's in charge of everything Jack isn't.

"Well, here goes nothing," Taylor giggles, pecking Jackie once more. This time I allow a disgusted look to cross my face. Frank chooses that exact moment to look over at me, and when he sees the look he bursts out in a giggle-fit. Maggie looks over just as it disappears and I give her the 'he's-crazy' shrug. She smiles and hugs him, and then we all leave for the stage. "Robbie!" I yell in a stage-whisper. He looks over at me as if to ask, 'what?' I smile. "Keep the lights off until I look at you again, will you?" He gives me a thumbs up and I turn on my mic.

I can tell that the crowd is getting excited by the way random people are chanting, "T-I-C! T-I-C!" and I smile. Yeah, I know I said that the crowds like Eat The Lie a lot more, but they still like us just as much. Just a ramdon jealousy moment, ha. I clear my throat and, using my best distorted voice, say, "It's Halloween, everybody..." Everyone cheers and a few people scream 'Happy Halloween, bitches!' I smile. "Everyone knows what day Halloween is..." More cheers. "A very good friend of ours is celebrating his.. what is it.. 23rd birthday!" Now the crowd is screaming. I laugh and look over at Robbie, who smiles and pulls open the curtains and dims the lights up a little. "Frank, get out here!" Frank, laughing, jogs out on stage. "Let's all sing! Happy birthday to you.. Happy birthday to you.. Happy birthday, dear midget-we-all-love-" the crowd goes absolutely wild as I say that. "Happy birthday to youuuuu!" Maggie and I clap as Connor, Taylor, and Jeremy all play random notes, and Frank takes the mic and screams thank you, which ultimately makes the crowd cheer even louder. I didn't even know that was possible, but hey, everyone loves the midget ha ha.

After Frank makes a dramatic exit off the stage, I giggle. "Now that that's taken care of and my guilty conscience can finally go away, what do you say we get started!" The crowd yells and some dude in the front row flashes his manly tits at me. I point to him and flick my tongue and he makes a heart sign at me. Then we break into "Darling," and right after that we play "All Alone," "Dressed For Friend Requests," "I'm Not Alright," "Desert Skies," and "Foreplay." We finish up with "Give Up The Ghost" and "Memories."

"We're driving far away
Thought I could hear you say
The words you speak are fading into black
whisper Now watch the attack

Memories that won't come true
I spent them all with you
The thunder reaches us and drags us down
whisper Now watch us drown

(CHORUS)
Can you hear me?
Are you out there?
Are you watching my every move?

When I breathe! I can't think!
I can't stop remem'ring all we've done
And I fall to pieces
When I leave! I can't see!
You can not imagine it is done
And I'm gone

(V2)
I'm running far and wide
Just like the ocean tide
The words I want to hear are rolling in
whisper I'm trapped again

Deep in a see of green
I laugh at what I've seen
Nothing compares to what I'm gonna do
whisper Draw me close to you

(CHORUS)
If you see me...
If you're out there..
If you're watching my every move...

When I breathe! I can't see!
I can't stop remem'ring all we've done
And I fall to pieces
As I leave! Can you see?!
I can not imagine it's done
And I'm gone

(V3)
I'm falling deeper now
Deep as the darkest hole
The trees are all around me breathing in
whisper It's all in sin

You tried to stop me, but
I only needed a shove
A reason proving I'm as good as gone
whisper Watch for the dawn

(half chorus)
You can't see me...
You're not out there...
You're not watching my every move...

Taylor stops playing and Jeremy quickly switches out his sticks for the mallets (creating a softer sound) and Connor lightly strums his guitar. Maggie plays something smooth and melodic, and I harmonize just a little bit before singing softly,

When I breathe, I can't see
I'm remembering all I've done
And I don't fall(to pieces)
I left, I see
In all that I've known and loved
I am gone

The audience yells and screams as we exit the stage and the curtains are drawn again, the lights dimmed way down again. Mikey high-fives me, telling me that we were way awesome, and I giggle. "Thanks, Mikey." He smiles and hugs me, then trots off to grab his bass. I look over towards the stage entrance and see Ray talking to Bob about something, Frank snogging Maggie (yet again) and Gerard talking to -oh my fucking Jesus' tits. You've got to be kidding me! I walk over and put on my best smile. "Hey there, Lizzy!" She looks over at me and smiles. It's so fake. "I didn't know you were coming tonight."

"I wanted to surprise my baby," she purrs, kissing his lips. I groan inwardly and turn to Gerard.

"You guys better hurry and get on stage before Robbie kicks your ass." I act like I'm joking, but I'm really not.

"I'll be there in a minute," he says, smiling. Eliza giggles and pulls him away for some more kissing. This time I groan out loud. Is it just me, or is everyone surrounding me indulging in a make-out fest?!

"Amy!" I turn around just in time to see Sarah slamming into me. For such a tiny person, she's got a mean tackle. We both go down, landing on a random piece of foam. She giggles and attaches her mouth to my neck, blowing just enough to make a farting noise. I giggle and push her away.

"Stobbit, that tickles!" She just laughs and stands up, pulling me with her. Okay, I know I said that Sarah kept everyone in check and whatnot. But what I didn't say was.. she's still a slightly immature eighteen year old. It's official: I'm the oldest woman on this tour. "Gosh, just kill me why don't you?" I joke. She smiles and sticks her tongue out at me.

"You know you loved it. So uh, Laura wants to know if you wanna hang with us for a bit? This place is, like, getting really cramped. And I feel like going out and, I dunno, doing something. So what do you say? Yes, no?" I think about it.

"Just us three, or a few others?"

"Either one, I suppose. So?"

"Hm.. Going out sounds great. But girl night or no? Because if not, I'm asking Jeremy to-"

"Speaking of Jeremy, Amy, can I talk to you?" Taylor interrupts. Surprisingly, Jackie isn't with her. I smile at Sarah and tell her that I'll catch up in a minute. She smiles back and walks off. I turn to Taylor.

"Let's go out back."

Without another word I link my arm with hers and we talk out, letting Pook (my personal body guard) know that we'll be right back, and that he doesn't need to follow us any further than the door. He grudgingly agrees and stays inside as I shut the door. "Okay, Taylor, spill." She bites her lip. "Taylor, please." She sighs and faces the rail.

"Okay. Like I said earlier, it's about Jeremy. The other night, when you got home from the hospital?" I nod. "I lied when I said I didn't remember seeing him." She sighs again and spits. I prepare myself for the absolute worst. "He was with us, Jackie, me, and Rhianna. Leah wanted to come, but Rhianna said no, because Leah's the youngest. She's sixteen, yeah?" I nod again.

"Where'd you guys go?"

"We went to some lake, I don't know where. Jackie and I paired up and went off somewhere, and uh, you know." Yes, I do know. Yuck. "Rhianna and Jeremy stayed behind by the car. But they weren't there when me and Jackie came back, so we assumed they'd gone swimming. So then we went swimming, but they weren't there. We waited for like, three flippin' hours before they showed up and we left." I swallow and look away, not wanting to think about everything that could have gone on.

"Did they smell weird at all, Taylor?" I don't really want to come right out and ask if my boyfriend, who I'd trust with my life, smelled like sex. But it's unavoidable, and Taylor knows that. She sighs and nods, and this weird pain errupts in my chest. I crouch down and lean against the railing, then cover my mouth with my hand and try to control my emotions. "Anything else?" I whisper. She pulls me into a hug and I bury my face against her shoulder.

"His hair was a bit messed up, and his pants were undone. God, Amy, I'm so sorry. But if it helps at all, he looked pretty pissed. Maybe Rhianna tried to like, rape him? We all know she's a bit of a skank, yeah." I know she's trying to help, but it doesn't work. I shake my head and pull away.

"Thanks for telling me, Taylor." I sniffle and wipe my nose with my jacket sleeve. "Can you go inside and tell Sarah that I'm not going out after all?" She nods, kisses my cheek, and leaves. I sit down on my butt and dangle my legs over the edge of the sidewalk (the walkway is about five feet off the ground), trying not to sob too loud. I can't believe Jeremy cheated on me, I think. Maybe he didn't cheat on you, my little voice argues, and I wipe away another tear. What, he just happened to smell like sex and look like he'd dressed in a rush? I groan, not wanting to think about it any more than I had to. Everything Taylor told me makes sense, I tell myself. And no matter how much I want to deny it, everything she told me sounds like Jeremy and Rhianna. That last thought absolutely tears me apart and I break down in powerful sobs, not bothering to even try and quiet it down. I don't know how long I sit out there, but by the time I'm done crying my eyes are sore and want to stay shut every time I blink. I hear people screaming out front and decide that the concert must be over. I should probably get inside before someone sees me and takes a picture, I think, standing up. I knock on the door twice and smile when Pook opens it. He takes one good look at me and pulls me close for a hug, and I sigh, patting his back.

"Are you okay, Miss Revenge?" I shake my head.

"No, but I will be. Thanks, Pook," I whisper when he lets me go. He escorts me to the restroom and stands outside as I wipe all the make up off my face and reapply it. There isn't anything I can do to make my eyes less red, or my face from looking all puffy, but it doesn't matter. After thinking about this whole 'Jeremy-cheated' thing, I've decided that everyone else had to have known about it. And as my friends, they'd be nice enough not to tell me about it before a concert. Too bad I had to know anyway, right?

"Do you need me to walk you to the bus?" Pook asks when I walk out of the bathroom and shut the light off. I shake my head and send him off with a polite 'No thanks' and he smiles. I look around and don't see anybody and figure they must all be out doing something. I pull out my phone and check to see if I have any new text messages. I do. In fact, I have about ten. I sigh and take a seat on the couch, reading through each one of them.

Mom says, Call me when you're through playing. I've got important news! Love you.
Dad says, Just wanted to say good luck at your show tonight! Mike and I are praying for you :) I giggle. Dad and Mom both sent doubles on accident. I delete them and move on down the list.
Jeremy says, Hey babe, call me I scoff and delete it.
Taylor says, Hope you're feeling better! We all went out for pizza, join us if you really want. Jeremy isn't with us, if you're curious. She also sent doubles.
Sarah says, We're having a girls-night-out tomorrow night as well. Gerard wanted to throw a party for Frank, but Frank said he was too old and wanted to go trick-or-treating instead. Miss you!
Sarah also says, Taylor says you aren't feeling well. Are you sick? Bleeding? Pregnant? O_O Kiddingggg! But really, are you sick?

My stomach sinks when I read the very last text. It's from Jeremy, and it says, We need to talk. Meet me on the guys' bus asap, kay? With a sigh I delete it and stand up. So he wants to talk, does he? I think, walking out the doors and heading towards the bus bay. I bite my lip and think about whether or not I should confront him about the cheating. I mean, what if Taylor was lying? Sure, she's my best friend, but she has lied before.

"Hey, Amy." I look up at Jeremy, realising that I'd been standing outside the door, thinking, for a little while.

"Hey." He steps back and motions for me to come in. I walk in and follow him over to the couch. "I got your text."

"I figured as much." We sit there for a couple minutes, separated by a small pillow.

"What did you want to talk about?" I ask after a bit. He shifts in his seat the same way he always does when he's nervous about something. This doesn't help at all. "If you don't want to talk, I will. Because I've heard something really disturbing, and I don't like it one bit." Jeremy shifts again and I frown.

"You can go first," he says softly. I swallow and sit up closer to the edge of the couch.

"Okay then." I take a deep breath, not really knowing how else to word what I was about to ask him. "Jeremy, did you.. cheat on me with Rhianna?" The way his head snaps towards me doesn't tell me anything other than he wasn't expecting the question.

"Amy, why would you-"

"Don't even bother telling me you weren't with her on Friday. Taylor says you were, along with Jackie and Rhianna." I don't mean to accuse him quite like that, but I really didn't see any other way to say it. He clears his throat and wipes his hands on his pants.

"I was with them, yeah. I'm sorry I lied."

"But why did you lie?"

"I don't know, I just didn't feel like telling you that yes, I was out with Rhianna and Jackie and Taylor. You would have freaked completely, and then we'd have been having this exact conversation yesterday, and you'd have gotten all worried and nervous before the show today and you wouldn't have sounded as great!" I scoff.

"So you leave me to wonder whether or not you were lying about everything? Which I did, Jeremy! The only reason I sounded so good tonight was because I managed to put everything out of my head, and concentrate on the music instead of the fact that my boyfriend and my best friend were lying to me! How do you think that made me feel? And then I find out after the concert that you and Rhianna ran off and came back three hours later with your clothes messed up and smelling like sex? What the hell!" Now I'm standing up with my hands on my hips, in the perfect mother position. Jeremy's standing up as well, rubbing his face like they do in the movies when they've been caught in the act.

"How do you know Taylor's telling the truth, Amy? What if she's the one lying, and I'm telling the truth, huh? What if!" I glare at him.

"If she is, why aren't you denying cheating on me then? Why are you just asking questions, instead of giving me the answers?"

"Because I don't know! Okay? I don't know if I cheated or not!" I sigh and sit down, letting my face fall into my hands.

"Explain, please," I say softly. He clears his throat.

"I went out with Jackie, Taylor, and Rhianna on Friday night, after you went back to the back of the bus. Everyone else was talking about how they called Brian and had him move the show to tonight instead, because of your head, and Taylor was saying how she didn't want to just sit around. Then Jackie mentioned going to a lake, or a pond of some sort, and asked if anyone else wanted to go. I was the only other one who wanted to. Go figure. I had no clue that Rhianna was coming along until we were at their apartment and she was climbing in next to me, some sort of liquid in a small bottle in her hand. She offered some to me, saying it was just some juice. I believed her, and I drank some, and the next thing I knew we were in the middle of a park, and she was.. doing things to me. I pushed her off and said that I had a girlfriend and she got all flirty and tried to get me going." He takes a deep breath and walks in front of me, kneeling down. "You have to believe me, Amy. I didn't have sex with her, okay? At least not that I remember. And if I did, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken whatever she had. I don't know why I smelled like sex. Like I said, I don't remember anything other than leaving the apartment and waking up in the park."

"Jeremy..." I want to belive him, I really do. But there's just so much in his story that doesn't make sense. Taylor didn't mention him and Rhianna drinking anything. But was that because she was too busy with Jackie or because it didn't really happen?

"Amy, please. Believe me. Please," he whispers. I stand up and walk over to the window by the door.

"I don't know what to believe anymore, Jer," I say softly. He comes up behind me and slowly wraps his arms around my middle. I start to shrug him off but stop, leaning against him instead. His arms feel so comforting around me, like they belong there. "I should leave now," I say after some time passes. He doesn't say anything as I unwrap his arms and walk towards the door, but I wish he did. I wish he had grabbed my arm and pulled me to him, kissing me with the same passion that he had the other night. I wish he could have said something to make me believe him just a bit more. But more than anything, I wish this never happened. I wish I hadn't smacked my head on Frank's bed and wound up in a hospital, leaving Jeremy alone with Eat The Lie. I wish Taylor hadn't broken up with Jenn. I wish her and Jackie never met, never went to the lake, or pond, or whatever. But they did, and nothing anybody said could fix what I was feeling at the moment.

My heart was breaking, right down to the core.

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Hey, for once I didn't end the chapter with Amy falling asleep! How amazing is that? :)
Okay, so you may be thinking, "WTFuck! Jeremy cheated on Amy! Rawrrrr!" among other things, yes? I have to admit, I've been planning this chapter for a while. Well, just the Jeremy part xD Everything else just sort of came to me last night.

I'm so sorry this chapter wasn't as long as my chapters usually are. Like always, I write until I can't think of anything else to write. Hopefully you love it anyway? Since my writer's block has temporarily been disabled (LoL) I'll probably be writing a few more chapters before Winter Break. Hopefully! So keep your fingers crossed, eh?

Luff,
AR:)

P.S. Here are a few pictures of the members of ETL. They' may not exactly fit the descriptions to the max, but they resemble them. Hopefully (I use that word a lot!) Besides, everyone changes over the years, right?

Sarah kind of resembles Rory from Gilmore Girls = http://images.fanpop.com/images/image_uploads/Rory-Gilmore-gilmore-girls-34512_766_1024.jpg

Laura = http://fc01.deviantart.com/fs51/f/2009/283/5/8/Mathilda_II_by_JusDeFraise.jpg

Jacqueline = http://www.glogster.com/media/1/4/74/85/4748503.jpg

Leah = http://quizilla.teennick.com/user_images/M/M-/M-I/M-I-L-K-is-healthy/1177473283_uffhilary7.jpg I realise she may look a bit like Hilary Duff. I apologize. But I suppose she does :)

Last but not least, Rhianna (much to my personal amusement) looks almost exactly like Megan Fox (even though I used her picture xD) That's why she gets on Amy's nerves haha = http://artbikerworld.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/megan-fox-juno-premiere-01-preview.jpg