FicWad

Ray

Things proceeded as I expected them to. There was a pause in the bawdy attempts to "court" Danielle. But it was a tense pause, for me, at least, as I was practically counting the days till something happened.

It inevitably did.

The crowds in Dallas that night were like none other. We played three sets, back to back. The Warring States' applause was respectable. Ours was insane. Either way, everyone was so keyed up still after it was over that we accepted the invitation of a gaggle of teenage boys and girls to a basement party. We. Are. Idiots.

But in those days, any party with alcohol was a party in the strictest sense, even if minors were presently pouring. Gerard was already sloshed upon coming, Mikey was distracted by the newly legal eye candy, Frank was a fun medium between the two conditions, and most of the Warring States were either dancing, drinking, or some unseemly combo platter. Those sober of body and mind were reduced to myself, Danielle, and stolid Bob.

But although Danielle was far from drunk, the same could not be said for the teenage dopes surrounding her. I was on the periphery of the circle with Bob, who was ready at hand with caustic comments against every one of our lovely troupe. But I can't record what he said, though I'm sure it was worth remembrance, because I was too focused on the other, ahem, conversations going on the vicinity.

"How long have you played bass?" the boy with the spoon-sized gauges nearest Danielle was asking.

"Eh..." the pause indicated that the question required some reflection...or counting. "I guess about thirteen years. Since I was...I guess 11?"

"How long have you guys, the Warring States, been together?" inquired the next boy.

She shrugged. "About three years. We're kind of low on the whole ambition thing."

I felt my muscles relax. Not tonight. Not tonight. Here there was just small talk and awkward adolescent advances. Not tonight, not tonight, tonight, tonight.

What did I say earlier? The part where we're idiots? Yeah, we can amend that. I'm the idiot.

It was some twenty minutes after my latest proclamation, but it was defied, all right.

Some pretty boy kid, straight blond hair coming down to his shoulders like fresh hay, who I pegged around nineteen or twenty years old, brought her a fresh drink and nestled his way next to her, pissing off every asshole in the ten-guy radius.

His voice was low, quiet. I couldn't make out what he said. But she was laughing loudly every time he whispered something in her ear. After a few minutes, when he subtly brought his hand to the hem of her black skirt, I got up, not wanting to see anything else.

*
I spent the next couple of hours on the bus. I don't know what happened. Don't ask me.

When Gerard, Mikey, and Bob came back, I was pretty drunk. Apparently Mikey, ever the empath, noticed because the first words out his mouth were, "Whoa! Even Toro got smashed tonight!"

Gerard stumbled about and knocked his ankle into somebody's open bag. Briefs and socks flew everywhere. "Oooop-sieeees."

Bob went about scooping up the clothes and stuffing them back into the bag. I got to my feet to help him, but...I didn't exactly stand for long.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Bob's voice rang distant. "Okay, okay. I think it's lights-out time for Ray."

"No!" I insisted. "Uh-uh, uh-uh, I'm fine. No sleep for me right now, please." I knew I'd just dream of her.

"Okay, then. That's okay." Mikey joined Bob and propped me up against a wall. Gerard was out of my sight but still clattering objects every which direction.

I felt Bob next to me. "So you gonna tell me what's wrong, champ?"

I shook my head. "Nopee..."

"You gonna make me guess?"

Mikey's voice indicated that he was on my other side. "I'll help if I have to, you know."

"Go right the fuck ahead," I suggested helpfully.

"All right," Mikey began. "You.... You think we didn't do a good job tonight, so you're mad at yourself..."

I snorted. Bob added, "No, no, that can't be right. We were awesome tonight. Especially him."

"True," our bassist acknowledged. "Something happened at home?"

I didn't say anything. It was too false to be addressed, really. I knew I hadn't even received a call from home in like a month.

I hate Mikey. "Well, we could just check your cell phone, now can't we?" His stupid reflexes beat mine.

He spent the next seconds thumbing through my received call list. "No dice?" asked Bob.

"Yeah," sighed out Mikey. "All right, what else could it be?....Suggestions, anyone?"

Bob shrugged out a "No."

Gerard's fumbling figure made itself back into my line of vision. "He hasn't gotten laid in too long."

Bob and Mikey laughed. But its proximity to the truth terrified me into stiffness.

This time, it was Bob that noticed. "Hey...what's wrong, Ray? Is it...Could it?"

They were exchanging significant glances now.

"That's not it....exactly," I murmured out.

Gerard was giggling. This is just my night, isn't it?

Bob was trying to look me in the eyes. "What is it, dude?"

Fuck, might as well out with it. "I like...I mean, I'm interested in....I just...."

"What?" Mikey asked softly.

"Danielle. It's....her."

"Oh."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Oh!" Gerard cried.

"Yeah," I choked out.

"Oh," Bob and Mikey said again, together. They didn't say anything else after that. Probably because they were acutely aware of how hopeless it was, just like me.