Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Love - The Slowest Form Of Suicide
The night of the phone call only being Thursday evening, I only had one day to wait. I came back to reality, I looked around the lobby of the old, almost ancient stately manor, Grandma had always said to me that she always missed the quaint charm of our old house back home in the uk.
so she worked hard to keep that charm in the new house this old Victorian mansion wasn’t easy to find but as soon as Grandma walked in she knew, she knew in an instant this was the house, the house she wanted to spend her last years in. I hadn’t noticed but tears were falling like it was the end of everything. I told myself to stop being stupid and wiped away the warm tears. Walking through the house now seemed like I was walking through it for the first time, I noticed everything, every little chip in the wooden beams, every scratch on the doors.
I stood in front of Grandma’s room with my hand resting on it’s dark purple door while I had an internal debate with myself about whether I was going to go in there this soon after her passing and the funeral.
I decided after a few minuets of standing there, I wasn’t ready for this. I went to my room to change. I pulled the purple dress off, it reminded me of just a few months before her sudden death.
She’d said to me “Helena, when its my time to go, I want you to wear purple, and if anyone else wears purple I’m going to haunt their asses, you’ve always been on the alternate side and that’s what has made you so special to me but I want you to wear my favourite colour it’d mean so much to me”
I was , yet again, crying this time I giggled as I cried my grandma was never afraid to face that death would come for her but she always made it so easy to talk about, like discussing what I had done that day, or what we where going to do when the weekend came, I let out a quiet sigh, in the emptiness the house had acquired in the past few days the sigh sounded so much louder.
I put on my favourite pair of jeans and a band tee. I sat on my bed and prayed that Saturday came quickly I wanted the warmth back, I wanted the happiness back, the bright glow of enjoyment that once filled this house. I walked downstairs everyone my grandma had hired to care for us had gone home even though they were insisting they wanted to work after I refused to let them I told them they were to have the day of the funeral off and Friday and also Sunday like they had always had. I at that moment decided that Friday was going to be a duvet day I had TV and games at my disposal from my bed as grandma had always spoilt me.
I went to the local store and stocked up on junk food for the following day. “hey Jonny, Just these and 10 pack of cig’s, make it 2 20’s actually” Jonny had always been nice to me, he hated smokers with a passion, but he’d always been nice to me. Maybe it was because of my past, he used to always visit grandma, she’d told him.
I remember that day it was 3 months after we’d moved here.
“Helena, could you go upstairs for a few minuets please love.” I left but curiosity got the better of me as always I sat on the stairs near the top listening.
Grandma carried on talking.
“Her parents passed away young, Helena was only 3, almost 4. They were Christmas shopping for the little one, visited the bank to start her college fund as part of her present, they had £3000, cash. The bank was held up while they were there the thugs saw that they had a substantial amount on them they were first, the thugs demanded the money.
Helena’s mother, my daughter, pleaded for them to let her go, for ’her beautiful daughters sake’ that’s when she left this world they shot her, Helena’s father rushed to his dying wife’s side for her last breath, that’s when they took him too. He was in hospital for 3 day’s he awoke once to say, ‘I’m fighting for Helena, if I don’t win this battle, take care of her, do whatever it takes to save her from social services.’ he died early morning. So I left took Helena to my home we packed everything she had, and wanted to take. A week later was the funeral, two days after we left England came over to America and started a new life. We’ve been living here since.” once grandma was finished I found myself unknowingly in tears.
One rolling down my cheek now as I stood in the store.
“sorry Jonny I’ll see you next week or something” I grabbed the stuff and rushed out the store wiping the tears from my face.
so she worked hard to keep that charm in the new house this old Victorian mansion wasn’t easy to find but as soon as Grandma walked in she knew, she knew in an instant this was the house, the house she wanted to spend her last years in. I hadn’t noticed but tears were falling like it was the end of everything. I told myself to stop being stupid and wiped away the warm tears. Walking through the house now seemed like I was walking through it for the first time, I noticed everything, every little chip in the wooden beams, every scratch on the doors.
I stood in front of Grandma’s room with my hand resting on it’s dark purple door while I had an internal debate with myself about whether I was going to go in there this soon after her passing and the funeral.
I decided after a few minuets of standing there, I wasn’t ready for this. I went to my room to change. I pulled the purple dress off, it reminded me of just a few months before her sudden death.
She’d said to me “Helena, when its my time to go, I want you to wear purple, and if anyone else wears purple I’m going to haunt their asses, you’ve always been on the alternate side and that’s what has made you so special to me but I want you to wear my favourite colour it’d mean so much to me”
I was , yet again, crying this time I giggled as I cried my grandma was never afraid to face that death would come for her but she always made it so easy to talk about, like discussing what I had done that day, or what we where going to do when the weekend came, I let out a quiet sigh, in the emptiness the house had acquired in the past few days the sigh sounded so much louder.
I put on my favourite pair of jeans and a band tee. I sat on my bed and prayed that Saturday came quickly I wanted the warmth back, I wanted the happiness back, the bright glow of enjoyment that once filled this house. I walked downstairs everyone my grandma had hired to care for us had gone home even though they were insisting they wanted to work after I refused to let them I told them they were to have the day of the funeral off and Friday and also Sunday like they had always had. I at that moment decided that Friday was going to be a duvet day I had TV and games at my disposal from my bed as grandma had always spoilt me.
I went to the local store and stocked up on junk food for the following day. “hey Jonny, Just these and 10 pack of cig’s, make it 2 20’s actually” Jonny had always been nice to me, he hated smokers with a passion, but he’d always been nice to me. Maybe it was because of my past, he used to always visit grandma, she’d told him.
I remember that day it was 3 months after we’d moved here.
“Helena, could you go upstairs for a few minuets please love.” I left but curiosity got the better of me as always I sat on the stairs near the top listening.
Grandma carried on talking.
“Her parents passed away young, Helena was only 3, almost 4. They were Christmas shopping for the little one, visited the bank to start her college fund as part of her present, they had £3000, cash. The bank was held up while they were there the thugs saw that they had a substantial amount on them they were first, the thugs demanded the money.
Helena’s mother, my daughter, pleaded for them to let her go, for ’her beautiful daughters sake’ that’s when she left this world they shot her, Helena’s father rushed to his dying wife’s side for her last breath, that’s when they took him too. He was in hospital for 3 day’s he awoke once to say, ‘I’m fighting for Helena, if I don’t win this battle, take care of her, do whatever it takes to save her from social services.’ he died early morning. So I left took Helena to my home we packed everything she had, and wanted to take. A week later was the funeral, two days after we left England came over to America and started a new life. We’ve been living here since.” once grandma was finished I found myself unknowingly in tears.
One rolling down my cheek now as I stood in the store.
“sorry Jonny I’ll see you next week or something” I grabbed the stuff and rushed out the store wiping the tears from my face.
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