FicWad

I lay there. Not moving like I had been for the past 3 months. He was gone. He wasn’t coming back, not for me, not for anyone. He didn’t love me anymore.
No more tears would I cry for him. No more blades would attempt to slice my skin just to feel alive.

‘Frank? Its dinner time.' Lara whispered, poking her cut and bruised face in the door. My lamp made it look a lot worse. There were no windows, thanks to the location: Underground.

'Lara.... I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you!' I whispered as she walked over to me with my dinner in hand. She placed it on my bedside table, removing my lunch plate.

'It's okay. I know you didn’t mean it. You look better.' She complimented me with a smile.
‘Have you tried your telekinesis yet?’ She asked. I just shook my head. I hadn’t done anything to do with my power. In my mind, I didn’t deserve to use it. Gerard taught me how to somewhat control it, so it belonged to him. Only a few of us had powers. Gerard, Mikey and Bob were a part of that. Gerard could read minds, Mikey saw the future and Bob… well, Bob was difficult. He was special. He could control people minds. If he wanted, he could turn the whole world against someone.
Lara tutted and kissed my cheek before leaving.
Her kisses meant nothing. I was gay and she was straight. There was nothing behind them.

I couldn’t thank Lara enough. She brought me back from the Sun-Land after he left me. She helped me through my depression, brought me food every few hours. She even helped me shower, which I knew would scar her for the rest of her life. And how did I repay her? I tried to snap her neck and spill every ounce of blood she had in her body, which would have entered my system. Making her a part of me.

I looked at my dinner. Steak, potatoes and a side bowl of synthetic blood. Lara told me I needed to eat actual food again, like I did when I was human. I couldn’t hold solids down and even if I did, I'd force it out of me. Most nights, Lara would watch me eat, just to be sure it went in my stomach and not under my bed till I could throw it in the bin. But now, I guess, she trusted me seeing that I had kept down a week’s worth of food so far.

I wasn’t that hungry so I ate some steak smothered in potato and drank the bowl of blood. I didn’t agree with Lara’s theory, I felt fine with just blood. The food made me feel heavy, wrong even.

I stared at the painting on my wall. At the very bottom it was signed Xoxo G. Gerard. My Gerard.
“You drag me down! I can’t be with you anymore Frank! Don’t come after me.... I don’t love you anymore”. His eyes were guarded. For weeks on end I told myself he was lying. He had to be, he was my boyfriend, the man I loved with my entire being.
I couldn’t stand being in this room anymore. I stood up, not realizing how weak I was. I caught myself before I fell. Maybe Lara was right about the whole food thing.

It'd been a while since I'd seen anyone other than Lara. No-one was game enough to face a heart-broken vampire. If it weren’t for her, I'd probably be dead or rocking in a corner, maybe licking windows.

From what I could tell, it was either late at night or very early hours of the morning. The only signs of life were a few people sitting outside the large oak doors that lead to the bedrooms and bathrooms. They were all sitting at a wooden table, leaning in.
I smiled. I missed these people. Lara was there, she had her back to me but it was her. Nic was sitting to the left of Lara. Her hair had gotten longer since I'd last seen her and she'd dyed it again. It was now bright, in-your-face red. Ray and Bob were the next 2 that I saw. Rays afro hadn't changed, nor had his face. Bobs hair had gotten a little longer but still the same shade of blonde. Mikey was no-where to be seen. There was one other person at that table. I didn’t recognize her. Her honey coloured hair looked so soft but her face had a mean snarl etched into the features.
I walked forwards, dragging my feet.
Everyone turned to see who had entered. All bar one face showed fear. Lara. Bob and Ray stood protectively in front of Nic and the new girl.

'Guys, he’s cool.' Lara said when he saw their positions. They didn’t relax though. If anything, they tensed more.

'He nearly killed you! How can you even look at him?' Bob snarled. His words cut deep.

'Fuck you Bob! You know what it’s like to lose someone! All things considered, he's been very good! He hasn’t bothered you guys, he hasn’t left his room for fuck sake!' Lara defended me well. I'd have to find a way to repay her. I owed her so much more than I could give.

'We've all lost someone. We never acted like that!' Ray yelled.

'I see I’m not wanted here anymore.... I'll just leave. Sorry I upset you guys.' I turned around before they could see me cry. A wasted motion, the tears had slipped before I could turn. I started walking towards the large oak doors.

Frankie!' I heard Ray call. I stopped walking but I didn’t turn.
'Don’t leave, I’m sorry.'

'No, I hurt Lara already..... I understand that you don’t want to risk yourselves.'
I ran back to my room, slamming the door shut with my mind. I couldn’t help it, I lashed out. I punched the stone wall over and over and over and over again. The stone was chipping away. I was stunned when I looked at my knuckles, they were bleeding. Vampires didn’t bleed, we had no blood of our own. What was happening to me? I drop to my knees, clutching my sore hand.

‘Frankie?' Bob whispered, closing the door silently, even though I hadn’t heard his entrance.

'What’s happening to me?!' I screamed, tears pouring down my face.

'Gerard is your creator. He left you, taking a piece of your immortality. That’s why you need food, not just blood.' He explained carefully.
I broke down. Not only did he break my heart, he also made me weak, vulnerable to the mortals world.
Bob picked me up and cradled me against his chest. I cried into his shoulder.

'Bob, I have to find him...' His body stiffened, knowing exactly who I was talking about.

'Frank... You can’t! For one, you’re too weak and he told you not to look for him. How would you even know where to find him?'

'He may hate me but I still love him. I can find anyone I want if I love them enough.' I whispered, my heart throbbing at the thought.

'I know no-one’s going to be able to stop you so at least take someone with you. Just so we know that you’re safe.' He was practically begging me now. It kind of shocked me, Bob was like a bear. He didn’t cry, beg, or show any weakness. That’s just Bob.

'No-one will come with me. I don’t want to hurt Lara if I break down again, Ray won’t come and you? Be serious Bob! If I break down and skitz, I'll hurt you, you’re my blonde teddy.' I giggled.

'Please be serious Frank. We miss Gerard as well, but we can’t find him. He left with no track to follow, no hint.'

'He did leave a hint.' I suddenly remembered what he said a few days before he left me at sunrise. You’re my soul baby, I can’t live without you. If I ever say otherwise.... Follow your heart. And smack Ray for me. His last remark was what made me forget what he had said.
'My heart is here. He can’t still be here..... My heart....' I muttered to myself.
'Where would my heart be other than in my chest?' I gave up on his little riddle. It was too much to comprehend.
Bob put me back down on the stone floor, still hugging me though.

'I’m going up.' I told Bob. He didn’t object, he just squeezed me for moment then wished me well.

I have to post this in parts. Apparently, twenty-two thousand words are too much for a one-shot... who knew? Well, anyways... I'm taking my time with Love Sucks now. I have chapter 20 written but I won't post it for a while. After Christmas I will. Happy Holidays people :)