Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Life Is A Perception Of Your Own Reality
Brendon's POV
I stared at the wall for what was probably an hour, thinking 'oh shit. oh shit. oh shit.'.
Finally, reality started to kick in, and I lunged for my clothes, because God knows how much herpes is in the Vegas air.
I pulled my phone out of my jean pocket, the screen reading: 24 missed calls, 15 text messages, and 9 voicemails. I must of lost track of Kyle, Paige and Oli, or something really big happened where everybody felt the need to call me.
I went to the text message menu on my phone, and read through the texts:
From Kyle: Yo, bro, where are you?
From Paige: D00DZ, WHER U BB?
From Kyle: Dude, this isn't funny, we need to get back to summerlin, where the fuck are you?
From Oli: GET YOUR ASS OUTTA HIDING, AND MEET US IN THE FRONT LOBBY.
From Hagen: HOLY FUCK, YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT RYAN DID.
From Paige: Unless you don't want to be able to walk for the next couple years of your life, you need to get your ass out here.
From Caro: Did you hear about Ryyy?
From William: I'd give Oli a call, before he whoops your ass
From Kyle: Forget you, we're leaving in 10 you're here or not.
From Oli: BRENDON FUCKING URIE, WE'RE LEAVING.
From Paige: You’re about to get your ass handed to you
From Oli: Where the fuck are you?
From Kyle: Brendon, where did you go?
Ahhh, I'm so fucked.
I pulled the phone to my ear and dialed a familiar number.
Ringgg.
Ringg- "URIE?" I heard a spastic blonde answer.
"Hey Ky." I sighed.
"WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?" He screamed, I heard shifting in the background.
"YOU FINALLY GOT A HOLD OF HIM?!" I heard an obnoxious high-pitched voice yell, in the background.
"Hey, I'm gonna be honest, I don't know where I am." I purred, still a little buzzed.
"OhmyGod." Kyle sighed.
I heard the phone move, and suddenly I was on the phone with the last person you want to talk to when you have a hangover
"BRENDON?!" Paige screamed.
"Hi, Paige.”
"Okay, where are you?" Her voice was urgent.
"Ehm, I don't know...." I looked out the window, and all I saw was the old strip. I hadn't lived in Las Vegas long enough to tell hotel from hotel.
"Well, I'm gonna need a little more than that." She said, aggravated.
"Okay, well I'm in a hotel room on the strip." I answered questionably.
"Which hotel?"
"I DON'T KNOW." I sat down, frustrated.
"DON'T YOU GIVE ME THAT, FUCKING FIND OUT WHICH HOTEL YOU'RE IN." She yelled. I'm pretty sure if I were in a 20-mile radius of her, my face would be knocked in.
I looked around my room, for some sort of sign or card.
The bathroom towels read "Hilton", so I'm gonna go ahead and assume I'm in the Hilton.
"Ehm, I'm in the Hilton." I mumbled into the receiver.
"Goddamn you’re so new. Ugh, we'll come get you." She sighed.
I smiled to myself, thinking every things gonna be all right, although, frankly its not.
"Thanks." I said, looking out onto the horizon.
"You're fucking welcome, don't you ever scare me like that again, or I swear to fucking Jesus, I will curb stomp you." She threatened me, with the best intentions. Or so we all hope to believe.
"Kay, thanks. Sounds like a plan.”
I collapsed onto the unmade bed, stenches of sweat and sex filled my nose, no memories triggering yet.
There was a hot pink post it note on the side table in a women’s handwriting: ‘check outs at 12:00, thanks for the great time sweetie’ not signed, but just left there.
I don’t want to know who or what.
The black digital clock read 9:30.
Who would even do that?
I had no cash on me, nothing that would make me desirable enough for sex, or rape, or whatever that was.
I’m sure hookers get enough action; I doubt it would be one of them.
All I remember was a woman at the bar, she was maybe 20, I bought a drink, we started drinking, and I downed another drink, and another and another.
Kyle’s POV
She threw her phone half way across the room, and groaned as she rolled off her bed.
“Common kid, we have to pick of Bren.” Paige sighed as she grabbed a pair of pants and wiggled into them over her boy shorts.
“Okay seriously, why don’t you ever wear pants?” I asked, like seriously, she never wears pants on weekends, its kind of ridiculous.
“Does my not wearing pantalones bother you?” She smirked, throwing my shoes at me.
“Don’t make me answer that question bro.” I laughed, standing up into my vans.
“Psh, you know you know you like it.” She clicked her tongue, picking up her now very dented Samsung, and turning it back on.
“MHM GURL.”
Paige and I had been best friends since 4th grade when I was the awkward kid that sat next to her in art, who was surprisingly good at drawing, but didn’t say much. She was always that kid that would scream ‘FAIL’ whenever somebody would present something, then she would make them cry, and she would go and get them a popsicle and told them they were a beautiful person and that one they would grow up and be like Picasso, and she’d go along on her merry way, and do it again the next day. Yeah, she’s always been manipulative. But one day she had told me that I was ‘a really good drawer’ and I told her that she had cool ears, because two parts of her lobe were pierced. Then she asked me if I liked Simple Plan, and they were my favorite band at the time, so we gushed over Pierre. Then I went over to her house and we started listening to music together, and I taught her how to draw, and then we went and saw Good Charlotte together. We’ve been tight ever since.
“Come hither child.” She skipped over with her overly big sunglasses, took me by the hand, and pulled me out of the room.
“Whose car we taking?” I asked, swinging our arms back and forth, walking down the stairs.
“Eh, lets take yours, I hadn’t got no gas.” Her melodic voice rang.
“Okay Dokay.”
We ran out to my 2006 BMW black convertible; it was a hot car.
“I personally think that you should lend me this car forever kay?” Paige suggested, her eyes wide.
“In yo dreams sweetie.” I chuckled, unlocking the doors.
“Who told you this car was going to be a chick magnet? Who convinced you to get it, even though you thought it was gay? Huh?” She argued jokingly.
“Shut your whore mouth, now where are we going?” I put the car in gear, and backed out of her lot.
“Hilton, down on Las Vegas boulevard.” She sighed, running her hands through brown locks.
“You realize that’s like 239847 miles away?” I asked her, considering I had been begging my mom for gas money lately.
“Yeah, but you love me, so its all good.” She fingered through my cd case.
“The things I do for ‘love’” I rolled my eyes, making my way to the I-15.
“Ohkay, ohmygod, do you know what went down with Ryan and Spencer?” She asked me all of a sudden, like a big bright light bulb went off in her head.
“I don’t really know, I just know there was face sucking at the party, I just got a text that said ‘HOMG RYAN TOTALLY JUST MOUTH RAPED SPENCER’, I don’t really know what to make of it, but that’s what I heard.” Parties were one of the worst things to the teenagers of Las Vegas because the only thing that came out of it was sex, drama, bitch slaps, and a whole shit ton of drama.
That’s why we just went partying.
Me, Oli, Brendon and Paige managed to sneak our young asses into Tadj, one of the nightclubs down at the Venetian, an elite nightclub down at the strip. It wasn’t nearly as difficult to sneak into. Oli, Brendon, and I gone in perfectly fine, Paige had flashed some cleavage and a 50 dollar bill, and that was it.
Ya know, you do what you gotta do.
Oh, but then there’s Brendon. On the way there, we started questioning him about Hagen and what happened between them, and we were face palming at him about how easily he let their relationship slide, and how she seems happy with Blaise, and how he should just find some one else, which was somewhat of joke, but the truth at the same time. Then Brendon made us all a bet that he would meet someone that night. And jokingly, we all bet him 50 bucks each because we knew that nobody else in that club would be stupid little high schoolers and desperate enough to hook up with one of us.
But he was a determined little fucker, because the second we stepped into that club, Brendon kissed us all goodbye, and stalked over the bar.
I wasn’t sure whether to follow him or not because I know how rough it can be in Las Vegas if you’re not careful, but I say that he wasn’t getting much action, and I was dragged onto the dance floor, so I just let him be.
“Oh Ryan, I don’t even know about that kid. He’s a hot mess.” She sighed, rolling down the windows, and put down the top to the convertible.
“Tell me about it.” I grabbed the CD case and popped a ‘Say Anything’ cd in the player, and threw on my white chick glasses.
“We look really badass right now bro.” Paige gloated, her hair flowing in the warm June air.
“Oh, I can only imagine.” I laughed, looking at the cars beside us, receiving glares from the gang bangers next to us.
“I CAN’T GET LAID IN THIS TOWN, WITHOUT THESE POINTY FUCKING SHOES, MY FEET ARE SO BLACK AND BLUE AND SO ARE YOUUU” We sang along to, serenading the road.
“Yeah, we definitely are badass.” I laughed; this is pretty much my life in a nut shell
“I love you okay” She looked over at me and smiled.
“I don’t why I do, but I love you too Asian ho coco.” I turned down the stereo, the road suddenly becoming all the quieter.
“Oh, our lives.” She sighed.
“I know kid, I know.” I agreed, there’s not much to it.
Ryan’s POV
“Thanks bro.” Spencer set a plate full of pancakes on the placemat in front of me, pulled out a chair across the table, and sat.
“Yeah, you’re welcome.” He shrugged, considering he had been playing mom for the last 12 hours.
Last night I went to a party. Apparently, I had gotten as drunk as fuck, got stupid, streaked, partied hard, and done some illegal shit. Spencer had driven me home, and stayed with me as I puked my brains out. Then made me pancakes.
“I’m so sorry Spence, you know I never do this.” I apologized, stuffing my face.
“No, its fine, don’t worry.” He avoided eye contact, picking at his nail beds.
“You okay?” I asked, he looked like he had been keeping something to himself.
“Yeah, I’m good, I just have, its really stupid, a question to ask you?” Spencer choked out, chuckling to cover up the seriousness of his question.
“Yeah, what’s up?”
“Okay, so yesterday at the party, you came up to me and kissed me, and I wasn’t sure whether you were intoxicated, but you probably were, but yeah.” Sweat started gathering at his hairline.
“Yeah, dude, that was totally the alcohol talking. You know I’m not like that.” I laughed, sitting back in my chair.
“Haha, that’s what I thought, just checking man.” He breathed in relief, and went back to his old self. We drifted back into our cliché teenage conversation, the tension released.
I’m a good liar, I really am.
That kiss last night was my way of telling Spencer how I felt, but it was stupid, because I knew he would never think of it that way, in that seriousness. Plus, he would never think of me that way, so it was hopeless.
We laugh out of pain, and hopelessness, and that’s all it’s gonna be.
Spencer’s POV
Yeah, he would never think of that way.
Ryan would never like me like that, he would never love me like that, but it’s okay.
At least we could be friends, but that’s all we were ever going to be.
I was foolish to take that kiss in a meaningful way.
You’re so stupid Spencer.
How could you ever think that.
Caro’s POV
“Love you, see you tomorrow.” I smiled, haft heartedly, standing on my tiptoes, wrapping my arms around William’s neck, giving him a peck goodbye.
“I’ll miss you.” He whispered into my ear, wrapping his lean arms around my tiny waste.
“I’ll miss you too.” I giggled, gazing into his eyes, something in me just wanted to shove him out of the door already, and be done with him.
He sighed, pulling away, kissing my forehead, and left to his car.
I waved goodbye, and went back inside, back to my room, locking the door behind me. I threw myself on my unmade bed. I hate myself.
I can’t stand William, I just want Ryan back. I’ve lead William on for far too long, and its wrong, but I can’t get out of this web.
To the right of my nightstand, there was a picture of Ry and me at Sadie’s last year.
I could never get over it, because I was so happy then, I didn’t have to fake anything.
Now it’s all fake.
I picked up the picture, threw it against the wall, hearing it shatter into pieces. I covered my head in the pillows below me, and just cried and cried and cried.
The pain of those I had hurt, and the hurt I had caused wouldn’t go away unless I fixed it myself, but I have no idea how to fix all the pain that I’ve caused everybody.
First day of Junior Year
Brendon’s POV
It had been a short summer. I didn’t do much. After the dance or whatever that whole ordeal was, it was boring. Summer wasn’t all that productive. We had band practice every two weeks or so, nobody took it seriously though. I went to Mexico for a week. I went out with Victoria Asher for a month, couldn’t take it, she was too much. The random hangouts with the gang during June and July. From then on, it was just constant text messages and 3 way calls. I hadn’t really seen anybody besides Spence and Ryan since then. Yeah. ‘s about it, so the first day of school should be, er, interesting.
I cautiously broke through the double doors, immediately shoved into freshmen that were the size of Asians. I looked around for a sign of somebody I knew.
“Brendon!” Ryan called from a ways away, standing with a group of 4 or 5 kids. I had gotten to school 15 minutes earlier today in order to find people, which would explain why nobody’s here, because nobody is 15 minutes early to their first day of school.
I ran over to Ryan huddle, where William, Caro, Hagen stood. Ryan seemed to have been leading the conversation when William was gazing at Caro, Caro was gazing at Ryan, and Hagen was texting someone more important.
“Hey guys.” I inserted myself into the circle as all eyes were drawn to my attention. Nobody had really changed much. William had on a red v-neck with a black leather jacket, dark denim, and black converse. His hair had grown out a little longer, but it framed his face perfectly. Caro had cut her hair, now framing her face, her black hair landed above her shoulder. She had on a long sleeved pink flannel shirt with a grey tank top underneath and black skinnies. Hagen had cut her hair as well, the bland straw berry blond color had been bleached in certain areas, and it was cut into a semi-dramatic a-line. She had worn red flannel, oversized sunglasses and light jeans that elongated her (holy shit why are you so fucking skinny) lean legs.
Caro shot me a smile, and gave me a warm hug.
“Brendon, its so great to see you again, we have to catch up!” She giggled excited.
William looked more and more agonized each second I held her.
“Its great to see you too.” I pulled away before William could say anything.
“Hey bro.” William wiped away his jealous expression and gave me a knuckle touch.
I laughed in relief, then I was faced with Hagen, who looked like she would rather swallow nails than see me again.
“Hi, can I help you?” She looked up at me with an arched eyebrow.
“Yeah, you can stop being such a bitch and get over yourself, that would help me.” I chuckled, matching her tone.
She looked somewhat taken back by my newfound self-confidence, but then brushed it off.
“Oh really. Where’s your whore?” She smiled, referring to the end of the year dance.
“Where’s yours?” I shot back.
“I don’t have a whore.” She took a second to think about that one.
“I believe he goes by Blaise.” I spat out, feeling the eyes of Caro, William and Ryan set upon us.
“We broke up over the summer, thanks so much.” Hagen pushed phone into her back pocket, and crossed her arms.
“Oh, he had it with you?” I flashed a crooked smile.
“At least I don’t have to rely on one night stands to feel loved.” She inched closer, looking a little more intimidating.
“At least I don’t lash out for no reason, remember who put up with you for a year without killing you.” I said, towering over her a bit more.
“Okay, okay, you guys can handle this on your own, later, nobody wants to deal with drama on the first day, so shove it.” Ryan stepped in between us, the tension dying down only slightly.
“Yeah, okay, I’m going to go to my locker now.” Hagen said, taking out her phone again, and waving goodbye to everybody but myself.
“Good.” My lips curved into a smile.
“Suck a dick, Urie.” She leisurely insulted, walking away.
“Know what-“ I started, when Caro interrupted me.
“Relax, it’s not worth it.” Caro held me back, her MEXICAN accent rolling off her tongue.
“Whatever.” I shook my head, and pulled out my phone, like I had someone better to talk to as well.
More and more people started to show up, only few of my enjoyment, there were hugs, forced smiles until the 15 minute bell rang when we all said our goodbyes.
I started today hoping that it wouldn’t end up like my first day of sophomore year.
Ryan’s POV
Luckily my last period before lunch was PE, so my class was close to the cafeteria.
The first of school’s lunch was always the most exciting because of all the catching up, and because somebody always brings a new kid to the table, and they usually get freaked out, and it’s great.
All the usual kids started to gather around, and grab their seat, when Caro brought over new meat.
“Hey, guys, this is Natalie, she’s new, she’s from Texas.” Caro smiled, gesturing to the girl next to her. She was generally averaged height, midlength brown straight hair, rosy cheeks, full lips, big brown eyes and fair skin. She looked slightly intimidated by all of us, but everybody seems to be. She wore straight-legged jeans, and a purple hoodie.
“Hey, my name is Paige Lauren Castro, would you like to have bro sex?” Paige made it her job to freak the newbie out this time. The thing was, if they could get through the first day of lunch without leaving, or getting pissed off, or just showing bad sportsmanship to such harassment, they couldn’t sit with us.
The new girl looked baffled, but lightly chuckled.
“Hey, um, sure. We can have bro sex if you wish...?” She answered back, almost in question form.
“Hah, score.” Paige fist pumped, jokingly.
Natalie breathed in relief and sat down next to Caro and Oli.
“So what’s your name again?” Kyle asked semi-obnoxiously.
“Um, Natalie.” She choked out, her cheeks turning slightly pink.
“Oh right, okay. So how you liking in Vegas?” Kyle turned back his charm, and smiled a toothy grin.
“Its pretty okay.” Natalie shrugged, toying with her veggie-dog.
“Let’s just cut to the chase. So have you seen any guys you think are cute?” Caro asked her, with a spark in her eye. Everybody seemed to lean closer into the table to hear her response.
“What?” She blushed.
“There’s no shame to it.” Caro smiled manipulatively.
“Well, um, er, there’s this kid in my calculus and Spanish class. I think his name is Gabe something, oh he’s over there,” Natalie pointed two table away to, indeed, Gabriel Saporta, “yeah, that’s him.”
The table sighed all at one time.
“Oh Lord.” Hagen shook her head, face palming.
“Wait, what did I do?” Natalie frantically asked, her face turning an even deeper red.
“You’re just so new!” Oli smirked, shaking his head at her.
“What, you asked me who I was interested in, and I answered.” She defended, slightly offended.
“Sweetie, Gabe Saporta is bad news.” William chimed in, his lips tucked behind his teeth.
“What, why?” She questioned, looking back at Gabe and his lonely table.
“What Gabe does is turns on the charm, dates you, buys your trust, uses you, tricks you into sex, and then dumps your sorry ass the next morning.” I lectured. I knew all about how Gabe worked, I always ended up sitting behind his victims.
“Maybe he’s just misunderstood. Look at him, maybe he just needs a friend.” Natalie pushed back her hair from her face, and gave one lance glance at Gabe.
She looked at him like charity work.
Very sexual charity work.
“Natalie, you listen to us. You don’t pity Gabe. He’ll steal your heart, break it in two, and keep one half. He’s no good.” Spencer added.
“Yeah, dude, listen to them. Even as new as I am, I know that Saporta isn’t anyone too good.” Brendon said cautiously.
“Finefinefine, I won’t then.” Natalie gave up, and sat back in her chair.
“No, but you will. You know you can’t help yourself, and you’re going to go after him anyhow, because that’s always how it works. Bro, we’re just trying to look out for our new friend and that guy isn’t going to help anything, alright?” Caro snatched Natalie’s gaze, and made her listen, hoping that what she was saying would really process.
“Okay, I promise, I won’t! Geez, all I said was that I thought he was cute, not that I was going to go after him or something.” Natalie zipped up her hoodie and crossed her arms over her chest.
“Haha, if you say so.” Kyle chuckled.
“Alright….” I trailed off, we all knew how this was going to end.
LIKE YEAH.
Okay, I updated okay.
Look at all the mean girls all up in that shit.
I didn’t edit much, I’m too tired, but I appreciate all of your patience and such (:
I LOVE YOU.
-Paige
I stared at the wall for what was probably an hour, thinking 'oh shit. oh shit. oh shit.'.
Finally, reality started to kick in, and I lunged for my clothes, because God knows how much herpes is in the Vegas air.
I pulled my phone out of my jean pocket, the screen reading: 24 missed calls, 15 text messages, and 9 voicemails. I must of lost track of Kyle, Paige and Oli, or something really big happened where everybody felt the need to call me.
I went to the text message menu on my phone, and read through the texts:
From Kyle: Yo, bro, where are you?
From Paige: D00DZ, WHER U BB?
From Kyle: Dude, this isn't funny, we need to get back to summerlin, where the fuck are you?
From Oli: GET YOUR ASS OUTTA HIDING, AND MEET US IN THE FRONT LOBBY.
From Hagen: HOLY FUCK, YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT RYAN DID.
From Paige: Unless you don't want to be able to walk for the next couple years of your life, you need to get your ass out here.
From Caro: Did you hear about Ryyy?
From William: I'd give Oli a call, before he whoops your ass
From Kyle: Forget you, we're leaving in 10 you're here or not.
From Oli: BRENDON FUCKING URIE, WE'RE LEAVING.
From Paige: You’re about to get your ass handed to you
From Oli: Where the fuck are you?
From Kyle: Brendon, where did you go?
Ahhh, I'm so fucked.
I pulled the phone to my ear and dialed a familiar number.
Ringgg.
Ringg- "URIE?" I heard a spastic blonde answer.
"Hey Ky." I sighed.
"WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?" He screamed, I heard shifting in the background.
"YOU FINALLY GOT A HOLD OF HIM?!" I heard an obnoxious high-pitched voice yell, in the background.
"Hey, I'm gonna be honest, I don't know where I am." I purred, still a little buzzed.
"OhmyGod." Kyle sighed.
I heard the phone move, and suddenly I was on the phone with the last person you want to talk to when you have a hangover
"BRENDON?!" Paige screamed.
"Hi, Paige.”
"Okay, where are you?" Her voice was urgent.
"Ehm, I don't know...." I looked out the window, and all I saw was the old strip. I hadn't lived in Las Vegas long enough to tell hotel from hotel.
"Well, I'm gonna need a little more than that." She said, aggravated.
"Okay, well I'm in a hotel room on the strip." I answered questionably.
"Which hotel?"
"I DON'T KNOW." I sat down, frustrated.
"DON'T YOU GIVE ME THAT, FUCKING FIND OUT WHICH HOTEL YOU'RE IN." She yelled. I'm pretty sure if I were in a 20-mile radius of her, my face would be knocked in.
I looked around my room, for some sort of sign or card.
The bathroom towels read "Hilton", so I'm gonna go ahead and assume I'm in the Hilton.
"Ehm, I'm in the Hilton." I mumbled into the receiver.
"Goddamn you’re so new. Ugh, we'll come get you." She sighed.
I smiled to myself, thinking every things gonna be all right, although, frankly its not.
"Thanks." I said, looking out onto the horizon.
"You're fucking welcome, don't you ever scare me like that again, or I swear to fucking Jesus, I will curb stomp you." She threatened me, with the best intentions. Or so we all hope to believe.
"Kay, thanks. Sounds like a plan.”
I collapsed onto the unmade bed, stenches of sweat and sex filled my nose, no memories triggering yet.
There was a hot pink post it note on the side table in a women’s handwriting: ‘check outs at 12:00, thanks for the great time sweetie’ not signed, but just left there.
I don’t want to know who or what.
The black digital clock read 9:30.
Who would even do that?
I had no cash on me, nothing that would make me desirable enough for sex, or rape, or whatever that was.
I’m sure hookers get enough action; I doubt it would be one of them.
All I remember was a woman at the bar, she was maybe 20, I bought a drink, we started drinking, and I downed another drink, and another and another.
Kyle’s POV
She threw her phone half way across the room, and groaned as she rolled off her bed.
“Common kid, we have to pick of Bren.” Paige sighed as she grabbed a pair of pants and wiggled into them over her boy shorts.
“Okay seriously, why don’t you ever wear pants?” I asked, like seriously, she never wears pants on weekends, its kind of ridiculous.
“Does my not wearing pantalones bother you?” She smirked, throwing my shoes at me.
“Don’t make me answer that question bro.” I laughed, standing up into my vans.
“Psh, you know you know you like it.” She clicked her tongue, picking up her now very dented Samsung, and turning it back on.
“MHM GURL.”
Paige and I had been best friends since 4th grade when I was the awkward kid that sat next to her in art, who was surprisingly good at drawing, but didn’t say much. She was always that kid that would scream ‘FAIL’ whenever somebody would present something, then she would make them cry, and she would go and get them a popsicle and told them they were a beautiful person and that one they would grow up and be like Picasso, and she’d go along on her merry way, and do it again the next day. Yeah, she’s always been manipulative. But one day she had told me that I was ‘a really good drawer’ and I told her that she had cool ears, because two parts of her lobe were pierced. Then she asked me if I liked Simple Plan, and they were my favorite band at the time, so we gushed over Pierre. Then I went over to her house and we started listening to music together, and I taught her how to draw, and then we went and saw Good Charlotte together. We’ve been tight ever since.
“Come hither child.” She skipped over with her overly big sunglasses, took me by the hand, and pulled me out of the room.
“Whose car we taking?” I asked, swinging our arms back and forth, walking down the stairs.
“Eh, lets take yours, I hadn’t got no gas.” Her melodic voice rang.
“Okay Dokay.”
We ran out to my 2006 BMW black convertible; it was a hot car.
“I personally think that you should lend me this car forever kay?” Paige suggested, her eyes wide.
“In yo dreams sweetie.” I chuckled, unlocking the doors.
“Who told you this car was going to be a chick magnet? Who convinced you to get it, even though you thought it was gay? Huh?” She argued jokingly.
“Shut your whore mouth, now where are we going?” I put the car in gear, and backed out of her lot.
“Hilton, down on Las Vegas boulevard.” She sighed, running her hands through brown locks.
“You realize that’s like 239847 miles away?” I asked her, considering I had been begging my mom for gas money lately.
“Yeah, but you love me, so its all good.” She fingered through my cd case.
“The things I do for ‘love’” I rolled my eyes, making my way to the I-15.
“Ohkay, ohmygod, do you know what went down with Ryan and Spencer?” She asked me all of a sudden, like a big bright light bulb went off in her head.
“I don’t really know, I just know there was face sucking at the party, I just got a text that said ‘HOMG RYAN TOTALLY JUST MOUTH RAPED SPENCER’, I don’t really know what to make of it, but that’s what I heard.” Parties were one of the worst things to the teenagers of Las Vegas because the only thing that came out of it was sex, drama, bitch slaps, and a whole shit ton of drama.
That’s why we just went partying.
Me, Oli, Brendon and Paige managed to sneak our young asses into Tadj, one of the nightclubs down at the Venetian, an elite nightclub down at the strip. It wasn’t nearly as difficult to sneak into. Oli, Brendon, and I gone in perfectly fine, Paige had flashed some cleavage and a 50 dollar bill, and that was it.
Ya know, you do what you gotta do.
Oh, but then there’s Brendon. On the way there, we started questioning him about Hagen and what happened between them, and we were face palming at him about how easily he let their relationship slide, and how she seems happy with Blaise, and how he should just find some one else, which was somewhat of joke, but the truth at the same time. Then Brendon made us all a bet that he would meet someone that night. And jokingly, we all bet him 50 bucks each because we knew that nobody else in that club would be stupid little high schoolers and desperate enough to hook up with one of us.
But he was a determined little fucker, because the second we stepped into that club, Brendon kissed us all goodbye, and stalked over the bar.
I wasn’t sure whether to follow him or not because I know how rough it can be in Las Vegas if you’re not careful, but I say that he wasn’t getting much action, and I was dragged onto the dance floor, so I just let him be.
“Oh Ryan, I don’t even know about that kid. He’s a hot mess.” She sighed, rolling down the windows, and put down the top to the convertible.
“Tell me about it.” I grabbed the CD case and popped a ‘Say Anything’ cd in the player, and threw on my white chick glasses.
“We look really badass right now bro.” Paige gloated, her hair flowing in the warm June air.
“Oh, I can only imagine.” I laughed, looking at the cars beside us, receiving glares from the gang bangers next to us.
“I CAN’T GET LAID IN THIS TOWN, WITHOUT THESE POINTY FUCKING SHOES, MY FEET ARE SO BLACK AND BLUE AND SO ARE YOUUU” We sang along to, serenading the road.
“Yeah, we definitely are badass.” I laughed; this is pretty much my life in a nut shell
“I love you okay” She looked over at me and smiled.
“I don’t why I do, but I love you too Asian ho coco.” I turned down the stereo, the road suddenly becoming all the quieter.
“Oh, our lives.” She sighed.
“I know kid, I know.” I agreed, there’s not much to it.
Ryan’s POV
“Thanks bro.” Spencer set a plate full of pancakes on the placemat in front of me, pulled out a chair across the table, and sat.
“Yeah, you’re welcome.” He shrugged, considering he had been playing mom for the last 12 hours.
Last night I went to a party. Apparently, I had gotten as drunk as fuck, got stupid, streaked, partied hard, and done some illegal shit. Spencer had driven me home, and stayed with me as I puked my brains out. Then made me pancakes.
“I’m so sorry Spence, you know I never do this.” I apologized, stuffing my face.
“No, its fine, don’t worry.” He avoided eye contact, picking at his nail beds.
“You okay?” I asked, he looked like he had been keeping something to himself.
“Yeah, I’m good, I just have, its really stupid, a question to ask you?” Spencer choked out, chuckling to cover up the seriousness of his question.
“Yeah, what’s up?”
“Okay, so yesterday at the party, you came up to me and kissed me, and I wasn’t sure whether you were intoxicated, but you probably were, but yeah.” Sweat started gathering at his hairline.
“Yeah, dude, that was totally the alcohol talking. You know I’m not like that.” I laughed, sitting back in my chair.
“Haha, that’s what I thought, just checking man.” He breathed in relief, and went back to his old self. We drifted back into our cliché teenage conversation, the tension released.
I’m a good liar, I really am.
That kiss last night was my way of telling Spencer how I felt, but it was stupid, because I knew he would never think of it that way, in that seriousness. Plus, he would never think of me that way, so it was hopeless.
We laugh out of pain, and hopelessness, and that’s all it’s gonna be.
Spencer’s POV
Yeah, he would never think of that way.
Ryan would never like me like that, he would never love me like that, but it’s okay.
At least we could be friends, but that’s all we were ever going to be.
I was foolish to take that kiss in a meaningful way.
You’re so stupid Spencer.
How could you ever think that.
Caro’s POV
“Love you, see you tomorrow.” I smiled, haft heartedly, standing on my tiptoes, wrapping my arms around William’s neck, giving him a peck goodbye.
“I’ll miss you.” He whispered into my ear, wrapping his lean arms around my tiny waste.
“I’ll miss you too.” I giggled, gazing into his eyes, something in me just wanted to shove him out of the door already, and be done with him.
He sighed, pulling away, kissing my forehead, and left to his car.
I waved goodbye, and went back inside, back to my room, locking the door behind me. I threw myself on my unmade bed. I hate myself.
I can’t stand William, I just want Ryan back. I’ve lead William on for far too long, and its wrong, but I can’t get out of this web.
To the right of my nightstand, there was a picture of Ry and me at Sadie’s last year.
I could never get over it, because I was so happy then, I didn’t have to fake anything.
Now it’s all fake.
I picked up the picture, threw it against the wall, hearing it shatter into pieces. I covered my head in the pillows below me, and just cried and cried and cried.
The pain of those I had hurt, and the hurt I had caused wouldn’t go away unless I fixed it myself, but I have no idea how to fix all the pain that I’ve caused everybody.
First day of Junior Year
Brendon’s POV
It had been a short summer. I didn’t do much. After the dance or whatever that whole ordeal was, it was boring. Summer wasn’t all that productive. We had band practice every two weeks or so, nobody took it seriously though. I went to Mexico for a week. I went out with Victoria Asher for a month, couldn’t take it, she was too much. The random hangouts with the gang during June and July. From then on, it was just constant text messages and 3 way calls. I hadn’t really seen anybody besides Spence and Ryan since then. Yeah. ‘s about it, so the first day of school should be, er, interesting.
I cautiously broke through the double doors, immediately shoved into freshmen that were the size of Asians. I looked around for a sign of somebody I knew.
“Brendon!” Ryan called from a ways away, standing with a group of 4 or 5 kids. I had gotten to school 15 minutes earlier today in order to find people, which would explain why nobody’s here, because nobody is 15 minutes early to their first day of school.
I ran over to Ryan huddle, where William, Caro, Hagen stood. Ryan seemed to have been leading the conversation when William was gazing at Caro, Caro was gazing at Ryan, and Hagen was texting someone more important.
“Hey guys.” I inserted myself into the circle as all eyes were drawn to my attention. Nobody had really changed much. William had on a red v-neck with a black leather jacket, dark denim, and black converse. His hair had grown out a little longer, but it framed his face perfectly. Caro had cut her hair, now framing her face, her black hair landed above her shoulder. She had on a long sleeved pink flannel shirt with a grey tank top underneath and black skinnies. Hagen had cut her hair as well, the bland straw berry blond color had been bleached in certain areas, and it was cut into a semi-dramatic a-line. She had worn red flannel, oversized sunglasses and light jeans that elongated her (holy shit why are you so fucking skinny) lean legs.
Caro shot me a smile, and gave me a warm hug.
“Brendon, its so great to see you again, we have to catch up!” She giggled excited.
William looked more and more agonized each second I held her.
“Its great to see you too.” I pulled away before William could say anything.
“Hey bro.” William wiped away his jealous expression and gave me a knuckle touch.
I laughed in relief, then I was faced with Hagen, who looked like she would rather swallow nails than see me again.
“Hi, can I help you?” She looked up at me with an arched eyebrow.
“Yeah, you can stop being such a bitch and get over yourself, that would help me.” I chuckled, matching her tone.
She looked somewhat taken back by my newfound self-confidence, but then brushed it off.
“Oh really. Where’s your whore?” She smiled, referring to the end of the year dance.
“Where’s yours?” I shot back.
“I don’t have a whore.” She took a second to think about that one.
“I believe he goes by Blaise.” I spat out, feeling the eyes of Caro, William and Ryan set upon us.
“We broke up over the summer, thanks so much.” Hagen pushed phone into her back pocket, and crossed her arms.
“Oh, he had it with you?” I flashed a crooked smile.
“At least I don’t have to rely on one night stands to feel loved.” She inched closer, looking a little more intimidating.
“At least I don’t lash out for no reason, remember who put up with you for a year without killing you.” I said, towering over her a bit more.
“Okay, okay, you guys can handle this on your own, later, nobody wants to deal with drama on the first day, so shove it.” Ryan stepped in between us, the tension dying down only slightly.
“Yeah, okay, I’m going to go to my locker now.” Hagen said, taking out her phone again, and waving goodbye to everybody but myself.
“Good.” My lips curved into a smile.
“Suck a dick, Urie.” She leisurely insulted, walking away.
“Know what-“ I started, when Caro interrupted me.
“Relax, it’s not worth it.” Caro held me back, her MEXICAN accent rolling off her tongue.
“Whatever.” I shook my head, and pulled out my phone, like I had someone better to talk to as well.
More and more people started to show up, only few of my enjoyment, there were hugs, forced smiles until the 15 minute bell rang when we all said our goodbyes.
I started today hoping that it wouldn’t end up like my first day of sophomore year.
Ryan’s POV
Luckily my last period before lunch was PE, so my class was close to the cafeteria.
The first of school’s lunch was always the most exciting because of all the catching up, and because somebody always brings a new kid to the table, and they usually get freaked out, and it’s great.
All the usual kids started to gather around, and grab their seat, when Caro brought over new meat.
“Hey, guys, this is Natalie, she’s new, she’s from Texas.” Caro smiled, gesturing to the girl next to her. She was generally averaged height, midlength brown straight hair, rosy cheeks, full lips, big brown eyes and fair skin. She looked slightly intimidated by all of us, but everybody seems to be. She wore straight-legged jeans, and a purple hoodie.
“Hey, my name is Paige Lauren Castro, would you like to have bro sex?” Paige made it her job to freak the newbie out this time. The thing was, if they could get through the first day of lunch without leaving, or getting pissed off, or just showing bad sportsmanship to such harassment, they couldn’t sit with us.
The new girl looked baffled, but lightly chuckled.
“Hey, um, sure. We can have bro sex if you wish...?” She answered back, almost in question form.
“Hah, score.” Paige fist pumped, jokingly.
Natalie breathed in relief and sat down next to Caro and Oli.
“So what’s your name again?” Kyle asked semi-obnoxiously.
“Um, Natalie.” She choked out, her cheeks turning slightly pink.
“Oh right, okay. So how you liking in Vegas?” Kyle turned back his charm, and smiled a toothy grin.
“Its pretty okay.” Natalie shrugged, toying with her veggie-dog.
“Let’s just cut to the chase. So have you seen any guys you think are cute?” Caro asked her, with a spark in her eye. Everybody seemed to lean closer into the table to hear her response.
“What?” She blushed.
“There’s no shame to it.” Caro smiled manipulatively.
“Well, um, er, there’s this kid in my calculus and Spanish class. I think his name is Gabe something, oh he’s over there,” Natalie pointed two table away to, indeed, Gabriel Saporta, “yeah, that’s him.”
The table sighed all at one time.
“Oh Lord.” Hagen shook her head, face palming.
“Wait, what did I do?” Natalie frantically asked, her face turning an even deeper red.
“You’re just so new!” Oli smirked, shaking his head at her.
“What, you asked me who I was interested in, and I answered.” She defended, slightly offended.
“Sweetie, Gabe Saporta is bad news.” William chimed in, his lips tucked behind his teeth.
“What, why?” She questioned, looking back at Gabe and his lonely table.
“What Gabe does is turns on the charm, dates you, buys your trust, uses you, tricks you into sex, and then dumps your sorry ass the next morning.” I lectured. I knew all about how Gabe worked, I always ended up sitting behind his victims.
“Maybe he’s just misunderstood. Look at him, maybe he just needs a friend.” Natalie pushed back her hair from her face, and gave one lance glance at Gabe.
She looked at him like charity work.
Very sexual charity work.
“Natalie, you listen to us. You don’t pity Gabe. He’ll steal your heart, break it in two, and keep one half. He’s no good.” Spencer added.
“Yeah, dude, listen to them. Even as new as I am, I know that Saporta isn’t anyone too good.” Brendon said cautiously.
“Finefinefine, I won’t then.” Natalie gave up, and sat back in her chair.
“No, but you will. You know you can’t help yourself, and you’re going to go after him anyhow, because that’s always how it works. Bro, we’re just trying to look out for our new friend and that guy isn’t going to help anything, alright?” Caro snatched Natalie’s gaze, and made her listen, hoping that what she was saying would really process.
“Okay, I promise, I won’t! Geez, all I said was that I thought he was cute, not that I was going to go after him or something.” Natalie zipped up her hoodie and crossed her arms over her chest.
“Haha, if you say so.” Kyle chuckled.
“Alright….” I trailed off, we all knew how this was going to end.
LIKE YEAH.
Okay, I updated okay.
Look at all the mean girls all up in that shit.
I didn’t edit much, I’m too tired, but I appreciate all of your patience and such (:
I LOVE YOU.
-Paige
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