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Baby Reno: Part 2

As Elena went to find Tseng, she heard a familiar voice. "I had to know for sure if it was true."

Elena turned to face her older sister Gun, the unwanted, unannounced visitor. "The rumors of Reno being a baby? Yes it's true." Elena never got along with her sister.

"So the Tunks are now a babysitting service?" Gun had been a Turk with outstanding accomplishments in the past.

Elena always wondered why Gun wasn't promoted to be one of Rufus' Turks instead of her. Yet Elena had promised herself to stop thinking that way. Tseng had told her before that she got there on her own and she was going to believe him. "What would you know about being a Turk?"

"A lot more than you," Gun challenged.

Feeling the tension in the air, little Reno started to complain as if he would start crying very soon. "Shh... it's okay little Reno, don't start crying now. I won't let the evil witch hurt you." Elena tried to calm him.

Gun was annoyed by her sister's choice of words, "you can't even take care of a child right. I pity him for being on the same team as you. Allow me to show you how it's done." Things between them had only gotten worse over time. Before Elena could protest, Gun took baby Reno. "There you see? He's just fine now." The child appeared to hug her, which gave Gun a victorious grin while she watched Elena's angry glare. But Reno was not hugging Gun, he was in fact reaching for her hair. As soon as he had a sufficient amount of hair in his little hands, Reno pulled as hard as he could and Gun's scream echoed all over the building as she tossed Reno into Elena's arms and ran away.

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Elena found Tseng, the leader of the Turks noticed she was smiling from ear to ear as little Reno giggled in amusement. He appeared to be holding a large piece of blonde hair in his little hands. Obviously, if Elena was in such a good mood, that couldn't be her hair Reno had pulled out. Gun was visiting and he did hear a scream not too long ago. He put two and two together and got to the correct conclusion that it was Gun's hair that baby Reno was holding.

Elena was on babysitting duty, but that didn't mean she couldn't use the opportunity to go somewhere with Tseng, even if it was grocery shopping. "Don't you think Reno can eat other things besides baby food and milk by now? I mean those things are healthy so maybe we should continue giving them to him, but we could also try giving him some real food."

"You do have a point Elena," Tseng agreed. Besides, there were other foods less messy and lethal than baby food so it would certainly be a good idea to try.

"We need groceries anyway, so I thought we should also buy some healthy food for Reno." As Elena spoke, Reno started making baby noises that sounded like complaints.

He waved his little arms around showing her Gun's hair as if saying 'I helped you so why do you want to punish me with yucky healthy food?'

"It's okay Reno, we'll get you something delicious and nutritious," Elena smiled. As long as it was delicious, Reno wouldn't mind, but he was a bit worried that it would be more nutritious than delicious.

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Tseng and Elena went to the supermarket. Reno was placed on a baby seat on the supermarket cart. Tseng pushed the cart while Elena placed item after item in it. Reno was becoming a little bored being treated like a decoration for the grocery cart or another can of soup. The little Turk wanted attention. Hearing his quiet complaints, which thankfully were not yet cries, Tseng started making faces for the little guy to keep him calm, quiet and entertained. Reno appeared to be amused enough.

Tseng felt Elena pulling the cart to take a turn and went along with her, pushing it into a new aisle. He was too focused on his face making to notice where they were until a certain ninja let out high pitched squeal. "Elena!"

Tseng snapped out of it and stood straight, looking serious. He cleared his throat as if nothing was going on and remained nonchalant. "Hi Yuffie!" Elena was in such a cheerful mood that day that everyone, except Gun of course, felt like a life long friend. Seeing Gun's hair being pulled out was the most fun she had in a long time.

In fact, before heading to the supermarket Elena placed the hair that Reno so nicely removed from Gun in a plastic bag to put in a frame later. At the bottom of the frame there would be a little plaque that read 'Gun got pawned!' The framed hair would be put on display in the Healin Lodge living room and she knew that one would dare to remove it from there, not even Rufus.

"I see things have become more serious between the two of you, true love, is it?" Yuffie teased.

Elena blushed, but Yuffie's comment didn't ruin her excellent mood. "We're just shopping for little Reno and I we needed to pick up a few other groceries too."

"We're helping Tifa and Cloud with the groceries so they can keep up with the deliveries. Cloud's deliveries piled up while he was babysitting Reno. I guess he came in the busiest day. We volunteered to come to the supermarket. Well I volunteered and dragged Vincent along when he so conveniently returned to the Seventh Heaven after more or less getting over his fear of a certain red haired baby," Yuffie joked.

"Shera, I don't want to go grocery shopping." A certain pilot complained as a certain mechanic dragged him along. He looked like he was being taken to be decapitated.

"I thought you said you wouldn't mind," Shera argued.

"You asked me in the wrong time when I was distracted." Cid hated it when Shera distracted him enough to get him to agree to things he normally wouldn't agree to.

"Shera! Cid!" Yuffie was the first to notice their presence. They had not yet seen baby Reno behind them. Unfortunately Shera started a conversation with Elena and Yuffie, which prolonged the men's stay in uncharted territory. It came to a point where Reno, who still had no idea what was going on, became so bored he managed to climb out of his baby seat and crawl away.

Reno exited the aisle and continued crawling. A few people noticed him and kept asking each other who the child was with. Finally, someone decided to pick up the little cutie and of course it was time to run. He was still very small, but Reno managed to get up and run on two legs. He saw a bottle of pink colored dish washing soap and grabbed it. He wasn't sure how to make the liquid come out, so he simply jumped on it. The plastic bottle popped open under the pressure and the pink liquid was fired out, just in time for the people who were after him to slip on it, causing a domino effect. Reno took the opportunity and escaped.

The baby Turk was quite destructive in the supermarket. Whatever was placed on the aisles low enough for him to reach, he grabbed and tore apart. The floor of the supermarket was soon becoming a mess of liquid soap, rice, ketchup, mustard, syrup, cereal and other things. An official search brigade for the chaotic rampaging baby was called into action, composed of five of the employees of the supermarket.

Reno reached the cookie aisle and hid behind some cookie boxes at the bottom. Safely hidden from the adults, he started eating cookies, which would make him more hyper than he already was. When he thought the coast was clear, Reno made his escape.

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"Attention all shoppers!" A voice was heard fall over the supermarket. "Be on the look out for a baby on the rampage. The child behaves chaotically and is considered dangerous. If you see the monster child, destructive baby, please report him to an employee immediately. Do not attempt to capture him yourself. Please remain calm. I repeat, please remain calm, do not panic." As if on cue people started to panic.

"A monster child? Where do you think it came from?" Yuffie asked.

Tseng, fearing the worse looked towards where baby Reno was supposed to be to find nothing but an empty space as the voice was heard again. "The child can be easily recognizable by his red hair."

"I'm sorry Elena," Tseng apologized as if he had lost their own child.

Elena gasped, "Reno!"

"Oh no, the poor baby! How could you let this happen?" Yuffie yelled.

"This is no place for baby Reno to be by himself. Especially with that monster child around," Vincent mused.

"They think he is the monster child!" Elena pointed out.

"What the fudge is going on?" Cid asked.

"Baby Reno is missing," Elena panicked.

Cid and Shera stared. "Reno's a father? Who's the poor unfortunate soul that had his kid?" Cid inquired.

"He's not Reno's baby, he is Reno who was turned into a baby," Yuffie explained, while Elena continued to panic and Tseng apologized repeatedly. He blamed himself because he was closest to the baby and didn't notice he was gone.

"Let us not waste any more time and search for the missing child, he couldn't have gone very far." Everyone immediately followed Vincent's good advice.

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In another area of the supermarket, a woman's voice was heard. "Out! Get out! Security!" One of the female employees of the supermarket yelled.

"Fine, fine, I'm leaving. The supermarket isn't a very good place to find brides anyway," Don Corneo, the slime ball who should have been dead, was alive. Just as Don Corneo left, he saw a baby leaving out the automatically opening doors all by himself.

An employee ran to pick him up. "I got you now!" Surely he would get a nice big bonus for catching the monster child of supermarket chaos and doom, as his coworkers called him. However, Don Corneo picked up the boy first.

"I can carry my own child," Corneo hissed. His two bodyguards looked at each other in total confusion. "What? With all those brides don't you think I should have a kid by now?"

The bodyguards knew Corneo was lying, but the supermarket employee appeared to follow his logic. "Then he's your son? Are you going to pay for all the damage he did?"

"No!" Corneo ran towards his car with his very confused bodyguards following after him. Reno let out a high pitched scream of terror and continued to scream without stopping, loud enough to wake the dead.

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Elena, Tseng, Yuffie, Vincent, Cid and Shera had arrived following Reno's screams of horror, just on time to see Don Corneo drive away like a mad man.

"My baby! Come back here with my baby!" Elena yelled.

"You will pay for this with your life, Don Corneo!" Tseng shouted.

"C'mon we can catch them faster on Sierra!" Cid wasn't sure how he got involved in whatever was happening, but he was involved. That's when they all noticed Cid's ship on the supermarket parking lot. He must have arrived after they were already inside, since the Sierra wasn't something easily missed among the cars.

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Taking every shortcut he knew, Don Corneo hurried to his mansion with the crying child. "Why did you decide to kidnap the baby?" One of his body guards asked.

"I didn't, it was destiny. Did I tell you about that dream I had the other night?" Corneo yelled over the noise of Reno's terrified cries for help. Even a baby knows when he's being kidnapped by the wrong person.

"Yes you did!" The bodyguards replied at once. They really didn't want to hear about it again.

"No, not that dream, the other one, the one where I saw a boy riding on a chocobo and there was fire all over the place. This fire haired chocobo boy was sent to me by destiny to be my heir. I shall keep him, he shall be my son and I shall raise him to be like me!" Don Corneo declared and Reno screamed louder.

Don Corneo's expensive car came to a screeching halt, eating away at the tires as he stopped in front of his mansion. He happily hopped off his car and hurried inside, followed by the two bodyguards, while Reno continued to scream. Three other guards were waiting inside to inform Corneo that, while he was bride hunting in the supermarket, they had found three possible brides for him around the city, just in case he couldn't find any in the supermarket.

"Excellent, this day couldn't get any better. I have three beautiful brides and a son!" The Don screamed over the baby's crying. It felt as if the entire mansion was shaking from the force of Reno's cries. "We must celebrate! Bring me some drinks and then I will choose a bride."

While the three girls exchanged confused looks and covered their ears. One of the guards served some drinks. As Corneo reached to pick up his elegant glass cup while holding Reno with his other arm, the baby stopped to take a deep breath then let out a high pitched cry strong enough to shatter the glass. Needless to say, everyone's ears would be ringing for a long time.

"Let me hold him," one of the bride candidates took the baby. "It's okay sweetie, no one will hurt you." Reno appeared to calm down a little bit. At least that slime ball wasn't holding him. His face was almost as red as his hair from crying. "There, there. It's alright now, honey." The woman gently rocked the child in her arms while humming a soft lullaby. She had waist length blonde hair, light blue eyes and was wearing a sky blue dress. She had a 'good girl' look which was probably deceiving.

"Hey, let me hold the kid," the second bride requested. She had short spiky black hair with bright red highlights. She wore heavy black makeup, had red eyes, possibly contact lenses was dressed in black and red leather.

The blonde bride looked at the punk woman. "You must be gentle with children."

"Fudge, I can be gentle!" The second bride clearly had a language like Cid's, if not worse. "Give me the da-" the first bride glared. "The darling kid." The punk snatched the boy from the other woman's arm. "You're a pretty cool kid, aren't you boy?"

"Excuse me," the third bride spoke shyly. "May I hold him please?" She had mid back length brown hair, dark green eyes and was wearing a t-shirt, jeans and sneakers. She was a pretty normal looking girl over all.

The punk woman glared. "I'm not putting down the cute little bas-"

"Language!" Bride number one hissed.

"I'm not putting down the cute little basket full of joy yet," bride number two finished.

Bride number three looked like she was going to cry. A few tears rolled down her cheeks while the first two brides gave her weird looks. She appeared to be alright a second ago and then she suddenly started crying just because she wasn't allowed to hold the baby? Suddenly her sad expression changed to a glare more deadly than the punk woman's glare. "Give me the #$%& kid now!" she screamed at the top of her lungs and taking the punk by surprise, she snatched the baby. Her expression changed drastically and her voice became soft and shy again. "Who's a cute little baby? You are! Yes, you! Peek a boo! I see you!"

"Interesting brides you found today," Don Corneo commented as he watched the scene. The girl with the split personality was a bit creepy, even for him. The punk looked a tad violent. Perhaps bachelorette number one should be his bride. "I have made my decision!" Corneo made a dramatic pause, expecting all three women to pay full attention. However, the three were distracted tickling little Reno and making funny faces for him. "I said I made my decision!" The Don continued being ignored. "That kid's good, he's only been my adoptive son for a little while and he already has all the attention from the ladies. I knew it was destiny, I knew it!"

"Ah! He bit me!" The blonde suddenly screamed.

"Good choice my boy, bride number one is exactly who I was thinking to choose," Corneo's comment fell on deaf ears.

"Told ya not to try to play pull my finger with em. The little bast-baby hates that game," the punk laughed.

While Corneo continued to be ignored, which was driving him insane, there was suddenly a loud crash. The noise appeared to be coming from the floor above. Loud noises of things being broken soon followed. There were screams, gun shots and more noise as the mansion shook. It was as if it was being torn apart. "What's going on up there?" Corneo was alarmed.

After more loud noises, the ceiling was ripped off the mansion, revealing the clear blue skies. Flying above the mansion was Sierra. A pair of mechanical claws were attached to it, pulling the mansion apart floor by floor as if it was a cardboard doll house. A door was opened as Sierra descended. From the door jumped several very angry looking people. Cloud was out on a delivery when he saw Sierra and called Cid, who told him what happened. Cloud informed Tifa and they rushed to meet the others.

Corneo backed away. There was a man with a large sword, a woman with a murderous look who looked ready to tare him apart, a man with a red cape and a gun pointed at him, a woman with the biggest shuriken he's ever seen and a man pointing two guns at him. The last man looked towards the door where a woman stood.

The blonde woman jumped down as Corneo cowared in fear. "When I'm done with you, there won't even be dust left for the life steam," Elena had the biggest and strangest futuristic looking bazooka Corneo ever saw in his entire life. How was she able to hold a weapon bigger than her would be a mystery Corneo would wonder about for every second of his short life. The bazooka let out a powerful blast of mako energy. The glowing green beam hit Corneo full force and in a scream of agony, he disintegrated.

Everyone else started fighting the guards, who were so shocked that they hardly put up a fight. Tifa went to get baby Reno. "Give me my baby!" She didn't wait for an answer and took Reno in her arms.

"Just who do you think you are busting in here like that you b-" The second bride candidate who dared to speak, along with the other two, were silenced when Tifa did a spinning kick, hitting the three and throwing them several feet back against what was left of a wall.

Leaving the mansion in ruins, they returned to Sierra and headed to the Seventh Heaven where Tifa, Elena, Yuffie and Shera spent the rest of the day cuddling Reno, and showering him with attention. After all, the poor child had been through a lot and they needed to show their support and make him feel better.

"Life ain't fair is it?" Cid stated more than asked, as they watched the women obsessing over the baby. Cloud, Tseng and Vincent nodded.

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That night, they made accommodations as well as they could for everyone to stay over at the Seventh Heaven. It was as if they were all suffering post traumatic stress and didn't want to leave their precious baby. They decided not to tell Rude about what happened. If he found out his little partner got kidnapped by Corneo, he would probably have a heart attack. Being kidnapped by chocobos was one thing, but being kidnapped by that slime ball was too much.

Cid and Shera stayed on the Sierra but the house was still very full since they had to make room for everyone else. Of course the children would get beds and the adults would make due with what they had. At Tifa's half suggestion, half order, Cloud offered to let one of the guests take his bed, which Yuffie gladly accepted. Elena took the guest room bed, which left the men fighting over who got the couch.

While Cloud and Tseng discussed the issue, Vincent made himself comfortable on the couch and fell asleep. He meant to rest until the argument was decided and then sleep on the sleep on the floor, since after sleeping in a coffin for so long he wouldn't mind, but he had fallen asleep. Cloud and Tseng decided to put some sleeping bags on the floor and not argue about it anymore. After all it, was no fun to argue in whispers as to make sure they didn't wake the baby. If they dared to wake the girl's precious angel, they would find themselves facing a wrath worse than a hundred Sephiroths.

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It was late into the night in the Seventh Heaven and all was quiet all around. Elena had woken up for a glass of water and on her way she tripped over Tseng's sleeping bag, since the sleeping arrangement had been made after she had already gone to bed and did not know.

Her surprised yelp woke Cloud, who was previously snoring on the floor in a sleeping bag near by. Even if it was dark he could still see Elena on top of Tseng blushing because she tripped. "Can't you to wait until you go back to Healin Lodge for that?"

The leader of the Turks shot the delivery boy a glare. He wasn't in the mood with all that happened that day. "I was just getting a glass of water." Elena quickly got up and headed towards the kitchen. Tseng decided to follow her. Cloud wasn't sure what was going on, he shrugged and went back to sleep.

In the kitchen Tseng found Elena looking at her water instead of drinking it. She heard his quiet footsteps approaching and looked up from her water. "I'm sorry Elena."

"For what?"

"For losing Reno at the supermarket, I was the one closest to him so I should have made sure he was there," Tseng apologized.

"It was an accident, we were all distracted. Don't blame yourself," Elena's expression was sad and lost in thought.

Tseng knew there was something bothering her. "Elena, tell me what's wrong."

"I was just thinking about how we got attached to Reno. What if he changes back? Isn't he supposed to change back eventually?" Elena recalled.

"Yes, as far as I know the effect will ware off. I just don't know when." He put his arm around her shoulders as to console the sadness she would feel having to say goodbye to the little guy when the time came. Sure the Reno they knew before would return, but they would miss the little Reno.

Elena wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug that Tseng returned. "I shouldn't have gotten so attached to him but I did."

"You would make a great mother and I'll never forget that scene with the mako energy bazooka," Tseng laughed.

Elena laughed too, "not bad for the rookie, eh?"

"I don't think you are a rookie anymore," Tseng's mind wandered off into his memories. Things had certainly changed between him and Elena. She had gone from calling him sir to hugging him in a dark kitchen. Baby Reno was heard, he seemed to sometimes randomly wake up in the middle of the night and cry for attention as babies like to do. Tseng and Elena rushed to his room.

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After having a nightmare involving baby Reno being kidnapped by Sephiroth who had mysteriously come back to life, Tifa woke up to the sound of Reno's crying. The crying stopped but she went to check on Reno anyway. She smiled seeing Elena holding him while Tseng watched like a proud father. She also took a peek inside Marlene and Denzel's rooms, confirming that everything was okay. Then she went down stairs where she saw Cloud in a sleeping bag on the floor.

The faint moon light reached him from the window, he looked absolutely angelic. She was about to return to her room when she heard him call. "Tifa?"

Tifa tip toed into the living room glancing at the sleeping Vincent. Cloud got up and motioned for her to follow him outside. The night sky was clear, lit by the starts and the full moon. "Is there something you wanted to tell me?"

"Yeah, you've been doing really good helping take care of the baby. You also take care of Marlene and Denzel. You keep us together as a family," Cloud spoke.

"I think we are a family," Tifa voiced.

"I guess we are," Cloud agreed. They hugged, enjoying each other's presence. Cloud sometimes didn't say things directly. Sometimes his words needed to be interpreted and Tifa knew how to do that. All of them were one big family and Tifa and Cloud were a couple, kissing in the moon light. It took him a while to realize how close they had become, but he eventually figured it out.

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"Hey Vincent... Vincent!" Yuffie shook him until he woke up. "You sleep like a rock. Guess what happened just now?"

"You woke me up," came Vincent's monotone.

"No! Well yes, but beside that," Yuffie spoke in a quiet yet exited voice. Vincent sat up, leaving enough space on the couch for Yuffie to sit down as well. He had a feeling she had a story to tell. "I went out for a walk then I heard something in the kitchen so I looked in from the window and saw Tseng and Elena hugging. Those two are a couple, I was right! No doubt is Elena having Tseng's baby. He told her she would be a great mother. Now no one can deny I was right about them!"

"I suppose there is a possibility that you are correct," Vincent was wondering why in the world she was telling him this. Perhaps it was the ancient art known as gossip.

"That's not all, a little while after that, I saw Cloud and Tifa kissing outside! I came inside before they saw me," Yuffie informed.

"You were spying," Vincent realized.

"I was only passing by," Yuffie defended. "I also think there might be a reason why Cid and Shera decided to stay in Sierra."

"Because they knew there wasn't enough space for everyone here," Vincent supplied.

"There's another reason, I'm sure. Love is in the air!" Yuffie cheered.

Vincent looked a little confused, he sniffed as if searching for a particular smell in the air. "I don't know."

"Quit being so angsty Vinnie! Why must you live in angst all the time?" Yuffie had to cheer him up if it was the last thing she did. Determined to somehow, someway, by some unexpected miracle get a smile out of Vincent, or something closely reassembling a smile, Yuffie got an idea. "Tomorrow we'll take Reno to the toy store! That's a cheerful place to be. I'll take him toy shopping and you will come with me!" She wasn't giving him any choices, the decision had been made.

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When the next day came, Yuffie and Vincent headed off to the mall towards the toy store, after getting ready in the normal morning activities that getting Reno dressed in a costume that Yuffie stole the previous night after talking to Vincent. She explained she wanted Reno to wear something special for the trip to the toy store. If not for the fact that he heard the word toy being said several times and concluded that he would get plenty of toys by the end of the day, Reno would have been screaming to get out of the clothes Yuffie picked out for him.

At the mall Yuffie could be seen carrying a little ball with hands, feet and a head sticking out of it. That ball happened to be baby Reno dressed as materia. Needless to say, it was really hard to move in the costume filled with plush in some areas to make the ball perfectly round. While her right arm was occupied carrying the baby materia, her left hand was used to tug on Vincent's cape when ever he lagged behind.

Vincent didn't like the mall and the crowds. The entire atmosphere was making him very nervous. Why Yuffie appeared to be so happy to be in such a place was beyond him. "Can we leave?" Vincent's voice was lost in the noises of the busy crowd. "Yuffie, can we leave?" He repeated a little bit louder.

"Did you say something?" The ninja looked back at her uncomfortable companion. He looked so lost and scared.

"I want to leave," Vincent wasn't sure he could stand being in such a crowded place for much longer. The mall was quite full that day.

"Don't be silly, we just got here!" Yuffie was looking forward to a fun day of shopping and maybe a little bit of stealing here and there.

The little ball in her arms started moving impatiently, as much as the costume allowed him to move. "Uffy!"

"We better get to the toy store quick. This little materia is just about ready to summon a Meteor on us," Yuffie concluded. With a hopeless sigh, Vincent followed Yuffie to the toy store.

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The toy store was full of bright colors that certainly didn't fit his gloomy mood. He couldn't help it but to feel as if something would go wrong.

Yuffie was like a child poking at the toys and asking Reno in a baby voice. "Does baby matewia wike this toy?" Reno tried to reach the little soft plushie shuriken, which was nearly impossible dressed up as a materia. Yuffie decided to have mercy on the little guy before he started crying, and after making the plushie shuriken go 'squeak' twice, she gave it to him. "See Vincent? This isn't hard. You just find a nice toy and ask Reno if he likes it and that's all- Vincent?" She looked around, but he was nowhere to be found.

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"I insist that you let me go," Vincent was dead serious as a young man wearing a cheap Cloud disguise, that was absolutely obviously a disguise, continued to pull him away. Obviously he wasn't listening to reason, so instead Vincent firmly planted his feet on the floor and refused to move.

"What's with you? You're supposed to be other there!" The Cloud impostor pointed to a chair. Next to it many children were in line looking rather impatient. "Come don't be shy." He adjusted his spiky blonde wig, hiding a few short brown hairs under it and approached the children while Vincent hid behind a life sized cardboard Sephiroth.

"Cloud! Cloud! Cloud!" The kids happily cheered.

"I have to go on another very secret mission," the man did a terrible imitation of Cloud's voice.

"Aw!" The kids didn't want him to leave and a few parents gave their disapproving looks. The heroes were supposed to be available the entire day for the children to get their picture taken. They would alternate their turns so another actor had better show up to take Cloud's place. They certainly didn't want to think they stood in line for nothing.

"Don't worry, my friend Vincent will take my place here and secure the sector!" He made a pose and a silly looking salute as the children cheered. That guy certainly looked ridiculous. Cloud wouldn't like it if he saw this.

Vincent wondered what this was all about. He had seen kids with action figures and toys that looked like him and the others before. He wondered who was behind that marketing campaign and why they didn't hire the real Cloud for this. Before he could come to a conclusion, the Cloud look-alike removed the cardboard Sephiroth he was hiding behind and the children rushed towards him. If not for all the young little witnesses, Vincent felt like he could have killed that Cloud wannabe.

"Vincent! Vincent! Vincent!" The kids surrounded him like rabid little hungry monsters and pulled on his cape. Some of them even stepped on his feet saying something about his 'funny shoes'.

The store manager quickly pushed him to his seat. "You're holding up the line, get on with it," he whispered to the 'Vincent actor' and the torture began. They wouldn't let Vincent leave and he was sure Yuffie, Reno and the others would be quite upset if he destroyed the dreaded mall trying to escape. He tried his best to stay human and as calm as possible. He wished Yuffie would find him, she was better at handling people than he was.

"That's not Vincent!" A boy slightly older than the others pointed an accusing finger at Vincent. "He's a fake, he's just dressed up as Vincent, but he's not the real Vincent!" The children started talking among themselves while the parents glared because the Vincent actor wasn't very convincing.

"He is Vincent!" A little girl stepped forward from the line and argued with the boy. Vincent took the opportunity to get up and tried to sneak away.

"He's escaping!" Another child pointed out.

"He's a fake! Fake! Fake! Fake!" The same boy from before continued.

"He's real!" The girl argued.

"He's a fake, he doesn't have fangs. Vincent's a vampire so he has to have long sharp fangs sticking out of his mouth!" The boy yelled.

"He's not a vampire, he's a human!" The girl then hugged Vincent's leg in a deadly grip. "He's a very handsome human who can make really good chocolate fudge."

"What does fudge have to do with it?" The boy was confused.

"I don't know, I like chocolate fudge it's yummy and my older sister once said 'Vincent would certainly make a yummy fudge.'" The girl pointed at her older sister, who happened to be the one who brought he there.

The older girl immediately pulled her sister away by the arm, "time to go," and rushed out of the mall.

"Me next!" Another little girl, smaller than the first, held on to Vincent's leg.

"Let me go," Vincent was ignored. Suddenly he saw his savior, the materia stealing ninja. "Yuffie!" He had never been happier to see her in his entire life.

"That's right Yuffie's here!" Suddenly from a line of cardboard figures of Cloud, Tifa and some others, jumped a young woman dressed as Yuffie, while the real Yuffie gave her an odd look.

"What's going on?" The real Yuffie asked.

The girl in the Yuffie costume whispered to her. "You're supposed to be Tifa, I'm Yuffie remember?"

The store manager returned with none other than Rufus Shinra. "As you can see, sales are going quite well. This special promotion with the children getting their pictures taken will improve the sales even more."

"Very good, Shinra Inc. shall rise again." Rufus was about to give an inspiring corporate speech when he noticed that there was something wrong. There were two Yuffies and one of them looked too much like the real Yuffie. That Vincent also looked like the real Vincent.

"You've been marketing us?" Yuffie had been flattered by the fact that she became an action figure at first, but to be marketed in such a way and by Shinra no less, that was too much.

"Let me explain what I had in mind," Rufus began; it was a fine day for Tseng and Elena to decide to disappear. Rude had gone off to find them and baby Reno, leaving Rufus without his Turks.

"No need," Yuffie handed Reno to Vincent and chased Rufus around the cardboard display, accidentally knocking down Kadaj.

As Rufus ran, cursing the fact that he was unarmed, thinking the mall would be a harmless place to be, he grabbed baby Reno from Vincent's arms. "Do something Reno, fulfill your duties as a Turk!"

"Ufu!" Reno squeezed the toy shuriken, making it squeak and continued saying his own version of Rufus' name. "Ufu! Ufu!"

"A hostage? That's not fair!" Yuffie yelled.

"Reno is part of my Turks team. He's coming with me" Rufus declared.

"Absolutely not!" Yuffie stomped her feet. "Where were you when he got kidnapped by Don Corneo? Did you even try to save him?"

"He was kidnapped? Why wasn't I informed of that? Clearly he's better off with me. He won't get kidnapped now." Rufus walked away with Reno.

Yuffie tried to stop him, but Vincent prevented it. "He's right Yuffie, Reno is one of his Turks, we have to let them go."

"He was my little materia," Yuffie pouted. "This doesn't end here. I'll certainly tell the others about Shinra's marketing issues unless I get Reno back within an hour! Then and only then will I keep my silence!" Vincent as about to suggest she told everyone anyway, but decided to remain quiet.

The little girl who had been attached to Vincent's leg the entire time finally let him go. She stood in front of Yuffie and stepped on the ninja's foot as hard as she could, then ran away.

"Ow! Come back here you little brat!" Yuffie hopped on one foot.

"Let her go Yuffie," Vincent spoke, "let's leave this cruel place."

Yuffie agreed to leave and as she and Vincent walked towards the exit of the store, the alarms went off. Vincent looked at her suspiciously. "I didn't take anything!" Yuffie stepped back and let Vincent pass first. Then she tried to exit herself and the alarms went off again. "Honestly, I didn't steal anything this time!"

"This time?" The manager was suspicious.

"Innocent until proven guilty," Yuffie lifted her foot to walk out and suddenly felt a cold metal hand on her ankle. "Vincent, you almost made me fall!"

Vincent removed a tag from Yuffie's foot. "This must have been triggering the alarm."

Yuffie recognized that tag. "It's from the shuriken toy. Rufus must have removed it and tossed it on the floor for me to step on as he left. He set a very sneaky trap."

"I doubt he knew you would step on it," Vincent commented.

The store managed then cut in, "who will be paying for the toy?"

He received a double deadly glare from Yuffie and Vincent, "Rufus," they agreed.

xoxox xox xoxox

Rufus wasn't exactly having the time of his life. "I can't believe this, Reno. Couldn't you wait?" The baby only complained. He needed his diaper changed and he was tired of waiting. "You can say goodbye to that bonus I was going to give you for assisting me back there." Perhaps it was best to return the child to his babysitters, but Rufus didn't want to give up so easily. He suddenly got an idea and pulled out his cell phone. "Hello, Elena? Yes, it's Rufus. I'm sending you on a mission."

Elena was a bit surprised since everything appeared to be so peaceful. "What's the mission? Should I get Tseng and Rude?"

"I'm sure you can handle it yourself."

Elena heard a faint cry of discomfort in the background that soon turned louder and louder. "Is that Reno? Do something, he's crying!"

"That's what I was trying to tell you. He needs a diaper change. I'm over at the mall." Rufus was interrupted by the sound of the communication link being ended. The cell phone beeped as it displayed a message on the screen, indicating that Elena hung up. "She hung up on me... The Turks are not supposed to hang up on their boss," Rufus was in disbelief.

"Found you!" Yuffie pointed at Rufus and Reno, as if the crying materia baby didn't attract enough attention already.

"Let me guess, Reno's cries led you to me? Very well, I return him to you. Take good care of my little Turk." Rufus gave little Reno back to Yuffie.

"Oh sure, give him back when he needs a diaper change!" The materia stealing ninja glared. "C'mon Vincent let's get him changed."

xoxox xox xoxox

Yuffie stopped in from of two doors, one of them had a little blue sign with a white stick figure painted on it and the other had a little pink sign with another white stick figure painted on it, that one had a triangle on the bottom half, as if wearing a skirt.

Assuming Yuffie would take care of the diaper change in the women's bathroom, Vincent stood there waiting. "I'll wait here," he voiced when she didn't move, as if to assure her she could go in and take care of everything and he would still be there when she came out, despite how much he disliked being at the mall.

"Normally, it's fine for a woman to change her child in the girls' bathroom, but Reno's a boy, furthermore he was once a grown up. I'm not sure it would be ethically correct to take him in there now," Yuffie mused. Reno was screaming impatiently and kicking as much as the round costume allowed him to. He didn't care were he got changed as long as it got done.

How Yuffie managed to gather the energy to overanalyze the situation despite Reno's cries and complaints was beyond Vincent. His brain was just about ready to explode. "No one will know."

"That's exactly what makes it even more unethical, but I have the solution. You will take Reno to the boys' bathroom and change him there." Then Yuffie overanalyzed the situation even more. "Now that I think about it, Reno might be a little uncomfortable knowing Tifa, Elena and I all changed his diapers. I wonder if he'll ever be able to look at us in the face after he grows up again."

"If he ever changes back I doubt he would remember," Vincent theorized.

"If... I hope he doesn't, but I have a bad feeling that he will." A soft little shuriken hit Yuffie right in the nose, squeaking as it made a direct impact on its target. " Alright, I get it, you need to be changed now." She handed the child to Vincent, dug into her bag which had all the necessary supplies and pulled out a soft glove that looked like a bath glove. "Here you go." She covered Vincent's metal claw with it.

Vincent had a feeling she intended to get out of this chore from the start. "I do not have knowledge or skills in such matters. It would be best if you did this."

"Gotta learn some day," Yuffie insisted and poor Vincent looked helpless. "Go on in, I'll tell you what to do. Here's the new diaper and everything you'll need." She handed him the supplies and practically shoved him into the bathroom.

Yuffie appeared to have a very special talent for ignoring people's odd looks. Although Vincent was inside the bathroom, with no one else there other than him and Reno, he was embarrassed as he imagined the looks people must be giving Yuffie as she shouted instructions behind the closed door. It took him a while to figure out how to free Reno from the materia costume and get the ordeal over with.

Vincent sighed in frustration, he better get a good amount of experience points after such a torturous task. After a long hard battle and a lot of instructions from Yuffie, who could only picture in amusement what was going on, Vincent was finally victorious.

"Yuffie!" The ninja turned in direction of the voice and found Elena. "Rufus called saying that Reno needed a diaper change. Did you find him?"

"Yup, Vincent already took cake of that," Yuffie announced as Vincent emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of baby powder. He was holding the materia baby, whom Elena soon picked up.

"You dressed him up as a materia? Somehow I'm not surprised you would do this," Elena concluded.

"Doesn't he look cute?" Yuffie gave him back his shuriken toy, which Reno happily made squeak.

To be Continued

Disclaimer, I don't own Final Fantasy VII.