FicWad

I went back to social studies and slouched down in my seat. I scribbled a note to Ray.

'so- ray what's up? I think you have something I want' I wrote and passed it to him

'what's that?--besides Lia' he wrote back

'Iron maiden cd' I drew a smiley face next to it

"yeah right" he said and he crumbled the note and tossed it at me. The bell rang. I got up and slowly made my way to the cafeteria. I had to end things with Paul once and for all. I saw him sitting in the back with Jeff and some other guys. I walked up to him. He reached over and grabbed me, pressing his face into my breasts. Jeff smirked at me. I pulled back from Paul.

"Can we talk?" I asked him. He groaned and got up . We walked over by the payphones.

"What’s up babe?" he said cocking his head to the side.

"Don't call me that." I said a little annoyed.

"Why not?" he says as he grabbed my arm roughly.

"Let me go.." I stammered. "Jesus Christ Paul its over!!...Why don't you see that?" I tell him. He rolled his eyes at me

"Elle you're just confused. Those fucking freaks are messing with your head.." He says and I shook my head no. "You think that motherfucking punk wants you?" He says obviously referring to Gerard…I looked up and folded my arms. "He just thinks you're an easy fuck Elle! You'll see...you wanna go with him…go...see if I fucking care...but you'll be crawling back to me...you wait and see...see if he fucking even wants you anymore." He says and I just let him carry on. The pill I popped before made me so mellow. I didn’t feel like arguing with him.

"So were done then?" I asked him. He gave me a creepy smile and turned and walked away.

I left the cafeteria and was making my way slowly towards English class, when Jeff came up behind me and took my bag. God damn it what the fuck did he want? "So I uh..hear you're not with Paul now?" He smiled at me.

"Yeah I guess good news travels fast huh?" I smiled back.

"So maybe you and I could .uh..hook up some time." Jeff was leaning forward trying to look down the front of my shirt. What a bastard! I gave him the finger and grabbed my bag back from him and went and sat down.

The time just dragged on and on. Finally the bell rang. I got to art and Gerard wasn't there. What the fuck first Mikey now Gerard? Is there like a fucking alien abduction spree going on?

Some lady comes in and hands me a note. I can't go to gym cause of my ankle. I have to report to the library. Why can't I just go home? I mean its the last fucking class do I really have to spend it in the library. The bell rings and I shuffle down to the library. I won't be going to gym and I kinda wanted to . Well I wanted to talk to Bob... Fuck. I wonder if Bobs missing too. Maybe they all just ditched and are hanging out somewhere...

I sit in the back facing the corner and open my notebook. Its not like I was really gonna do any work, but its gotta look like I'm trying right? Someone taps my shoulder I turn there's no one there. I look to the other side...Fucking Frankie... He's smiling at me. He sits down next to me. "What are you doing here?" He asks.

"Gym class" I said pointing to my ankle.

"Well, it looks like you're gonna be stuck with me for a few weeks then.." he said to me as he brushed the hair from my eyes. He was looking at me funny.

"Hey what happened to Gerard he wasn't in class.." I started to say and Frankie’s face dropped.

"You didn’t hear?" He said as he scratched his chin. I shook my head no. Hear?...Hear what?....Frankie continued "Uh someone jumped Mikey this morning.." Oh Fuck. Please don't say it was third period.

My voice shook "Who would do that to Mikey?"

Frankie shrugged and looked down at my notebook as he spoke. "He didn’t see. they knocked him from behind and his glasses fell off..." I put my face in my hands "but I'll give you three guesses as to who it was..."

"Fuck Frankie I don't need three.." I sighed as I rubbed my eyes.

"Yeah well neither did Gerard. They got in a fight in gym and he got suspended." Frankie’s voice trailed off as he pulled my hands down from my face.

"This is all my fault.." I said looking up at him… I was about to cry.

"Its not your fault your boyfriend...." he started.

"He's not my boyfriend...not anymore..." I sniffled as I looked down. I think Frankie smiled. At least I think he smiled, I was staring down at my notebook. Frankie didn’t say anything else and I didn’t feel like talking anymore. I flipped through a few pages and started my math homework. Then Frankie picked up one of my crutches and leant back in his chair. He started tipping the chair backwards-- balancing it on the back two legs and my crutch to the side. I stopped writing and looked up at him. Now he was leaning further back off to side on one chair leg using my crutch to steady it.

"Fuck Frankie, you're gonna fall" I tried to warn him.

"No I'm n-.." He cried out and then- a CRASH echoed out as Frankie slammed to the floor. The librarian appeared, frowning. Frankie jumped up hastily off the floor.

"I'm okay!" Frankie yelled out raising his arms above his head. A few people laughed. I rolled my eyes at him. Sometimes he was such a moron. He picked back up his chair. The librarian started to turn away then looked back at me.

"Are you suppose to be here?" She asked me. Like I'd fucking voluntarily be here.

"uh..I have a slip from gym" I said. She was waiting for me to hand it to her. Fuck where'd I put it. I stood up and dug through my bag. Shit! It wasn't there. Oh wait I think I put it in my pocket. In my left pocket I had the crumbled note I wrote to Ray and a half a pack of gum, I toss it on the table. The librarian is frowning. What a fucking bitch. In my other pocket is ... yes!! the slip. She takes the slip and the pack of gum off the table.

"There's no gum allowed in the library." she says walking away. What the fuck? Did she just steal my gum? Frankie picks up the crumbled note and starts reading it.

"She stole my gum!" I protest a little outraged.

"What do want Rays cd for?" Frankie asks ignoring my protests. What the fuck is he talking about? Oh yeah...

"Oh..Im gonna trade it to Gerard." I said. My mouth is suddenly very dry. I need a piece of gum. Like need gum or I will die!

"Ha! -never gonna happen!" Frankie is shaking his head at me.

"Why?-what's so special about it?.. Hey, do you have any gum?" I asked. He shook his head no.

"Bring your daughter to the slaughter? Are you kidding me?". Frankie said. What the hell is he talking about? I wrinkle my eyebrows at him.

"You don't even know what it is.." He was laughing. "Why do you even want it?"

"I told you I need to trade it with Gerard." I sighed. Shit this was gonna be harder than I thought. Frankie’s making it sound like a big deal. It's only a fucking cd.

"Well, what does Gerard have that you want?" He said moving his seat closer to me. I shrugged. He moved closer."Come on Elle, you can tell me.." He said making a puppy dogface.

"Ah..Frankie come on does that ever work?" I teased him with out answering him. The bell suddenly rang overhead. He got up and picked up my bag casually.

"Come on" he said as I stared up at him a little confused.

"Where?" I asked him.

"I'm bringing you home." He declared and reached out his hand to me...

You don't have to walk me home." I told him as we were made our way down the street.

"Nah..its ok..Gerard usually drives me home so..." His voice trailed off. "Anyway I've never been in your house.." He chuckles.

"Oh, so you think you're coming in?" I said sarcastically.

"Aw, come on I walk you all the way home and you won’t invite me in?" He said and he smiling cheekily at me. I shrugged. "I'll be good I promise." He said crossing his heart.

"Mmm, no not good enough" I shook my head and he smiled at my seriousness. I think he thought I was kidding but I wasn’t... We were in front of my house now... "Well. This is the end of the line bye Frankie." I said as I headed towards the steps.

"Ok Elle, How you gonna get up the steps?" Frankie said smirking at me.

"The same way I got down them." I sighed. He was being a smart ass. I hate that. I hopped onto the first step. I looked over my shoulder and smiled at him.

"Yeah you could do that or maybe..." He grabbed me and picked me up before I could even blink he had carried me to the top. "Ha- Now you have to let me in." He said standing in the doorway. Jesus Christ Frankie what the fuck do you want from me? I sighed and opened the door. Frankie followed me inside. He looked around at the emptyness. "Holy shit Elle were you robbed?!" He gasped and I frowned.

The day after papa died I woke up on the bathroom floor. I spent the whole morning doing coke in the bathroom. I should have OD'd. When I finally came out I was so strung out. I couldn't stand to see anything of papas or anything that papa touched. I called the Salvation Army. The only things I had left of papa was his throw blanket and his cane. That was last week. It seemed like an eternity ago. I felt sick to my stomach.

"You know what- goodbye Frankie." I snapped at him as I pushed him back to towards the door.

"No...wait .. I'm sorry." He looked down at the floor apologetically. "Uh...where should I put your bag?" He said trying to change the subject… Fuck… he wasn't going to leave. What the hell? I mean I like Frankie and all but what was he doing here?

"Here come on, my room is this way, " I said and he followed me down the hall. I climbed up and sat Indian style on my bed and started rubbing my ankle. Frankie sat next to me. It was silent. Kinda creepy silent. I wonder how long he's gonna stay. Then someone rang the doorbell and I heard the front door open… It was Lia, she let herself in.

"Elle? ....You home yet?" she called as she came down the hall.

"Yeah, I'm in here." I said as she approached the doorway.

"Oh..you'll never guess..." she stopped talking when she saw Frankie and me sitting on the bed. "Oh." She said frowning a little as she looked at him, then at me. "Uh what's going on here?" She says and I gave her a funny look.

"Nothing’s going on." I said. She looked like she didn't believe me. She then turned and looked at Frankie. He jumped off the bed abruptly.

"Uhh. I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow Elle, bye Lia." Frankie said and he waved as he walked out the door. Lia jumped up onto the bed next to me. She punched me in the arm.

"What the hell was going on?" she asked. I shrugged. "Elle? I'm serious what's going on with you and Frankie?" she insisted. Me and Frankie? was she fucking nuts?

"Are you high?" I asked her. "I mean really Lia..Frankie?..as if.."

"Mmm. I don't know. you'd make a cute couple." She was laughing. I pushed her off the bed with my good leg. Fucking Lia! She didn't know how badly I was crushing on Gerard. Nobody did... oh god...Gerard!...


"Oh Lia you're not gonna believe what happened today...."

Lia stayed a while, just enough for me to fill her in. She didn’t say much though. Then she had to leave. Her tutor was coming. She promised to make a plan to get me Rays Iron Maiden cd, although she wasn't quite sure why I wanted it.

I woke up late for school the next day. Like a fucking hour late. I limp into the kitchen and pick up the phone and dial the schools number. There’s no fucking way I'm going in. I mean its fucking Friday. I'll just call out sick. The fucking bitch on the phone is giving me a hard time. She wants to talk to my papa. I tell her to call a psychic. She wants to talk to my dad..yeah well, so would I. She says she's marking me unexcused and hangs up.

I go and lay on the couch. I'm so fucking tired still...maybe I'll just take a nap....

I woke up a few hours later. It was after noon. I was starving. There was no food left in the fridge. I hadn't left the house since papa died, except for his funeral and school of course. I was going to have to go shopping. I picked up the phone and dialed Lia’s number. it rang and rang. Finally she answered. She wasn't up yet and didn't want to get up. I had to beg her to come over. There was no fucking way I could make it through the supermarket on these crutches. She finally promised she'd come. After a fucking hour and a half the doorbell rang and in comes Lia.

"God damn it Lia, Im fucking dying here." I snapped at her and she smiled.

"Whoa Elle take it easy." She laughed as she was looking around in the kitchen. "Shit Ellie you got nothing to eat, looks like my house." she said closing the cabinet doors. I rolled my eyes at her.

"Can we go now?" I ask a little annoyed.

"Yeah but, just wait-" she says as she pulls out a dime bag and puts it on the kitchen table. "You need to chill out first Elle" she says and she dumps the bag on the table and starts picking through the weed. I look over her shoulder. It's coated in white powder- Lia’s specialty. She pulls her pipe from her pocket and lights it up. We were stoned in minutes.

I felt so much better I was telling Lia about the bitch on the phone this morning when someone started knocking on the door. Lia got up to answer it. It was Ray. I could hear them talking by the door. Apparently he went to Lia’s house after school and she wasn't there so he came here. After school? Is that what Ray said?. I look at the clock. Fuck me! the whole day is going by and I haven't done shit. This is all Lia’s fault. She comes back in the kitchen with the Ray following her.

"uhhh Ellie..." Lia starts

"Fuck you Lia. You promised and I made a god damn list!" I yelled waving my paper around.. There was no way she was ditching me. Ray whispered something in her ear and she giggled. "Okay, okay, Listen Frankie’s outside- he can bring you to the supermarket pleeeease" I rolled my eyes at them. I was so fucking stoned.

"Come on what's the worst that could happen?" Ray asked

"Fine, whatever" I said giving up. What could happen? I mean I'm just stoned out of my mind. Me....crutches...Frankie...and a shopping cart....Yeah you're right Ray what could happen?.......