FicWad

After breakfast Mikey and Gerard left. I picked up the phone and dialed Lia's number. Gerard said he was going to come back over later. After he showered and changed and what not. I think he wanted to just go home and see his mom but whatever. I couldn't blame him. He's been with me for like almost two days already. And if I had a mom or dad at home I'd probably want to see them too....

He did say he was gonna come with me to the rave tonight but I don't know if he really wanted too or if he was just going cause I was. Didn't matter. As long as we were together I thought as I listened the phone ring... Ah pick up Lia...Oh fuck! I didn't even think about what I'm gonna say to her! Say to her? I might not SAY anything to her? I might just fucking tell her off!

"Hello?" she answers

"Hey" I say. Oh good fucking start Elle! That's REALLY telling her off!

"Oh hey what's up?" She says cheerfully. Okay focus now. Just be blunt. That's the only way to get through to her.

"Gerard and I are together now." I tell her roughly.

"Oh can I talk to him?" she says still kinda cheerful. What the fuck?

"What?" I ask.

"Gerard." She says plainly

"What about him?" I ask confused.

"Can I talk to him?" She repeats. "He's there right?"

"Uh no... he's not here." I tell her looking around. What the fuck is she talking about?

"You just said you guys were together." she laughed

"No I didn't." I say lighting a cigarette. I mean are we even having the same conversation here?

"Yes you did Elle." She laughs. "Are you okay?" What?... oh she means am I fucked up.

"No - yes..I mean, yes I'm okay but no he's not... fuck.. he was here..but now he's not anymore.- why did you want to talk to him anyway ?" I say shaking my head. Fuck this conversation is so not going well.

There was silence. I look at the receiver to see if it's still on. It was. What the fuck? Lia starts talking again. I pull the phone back to my ear. "Did you ask why I wanted to talk to him?" she stammers.

Oh give me a fucking break Lia! Like she didn't fucking hear me ask her why she wanted to talk to him. But that was Lia for you. If she didn't want to answer something she just ignores it. Repeats things a lot. That's how you know she's lying. I mean I repeat things to but mostly cause I don't know what the fucks going on... But when Lia repeats things- it means she's stalling. Trying to come up with something. This was not good.

"Never mind Lia. I was just saying that Gerard was here. Actually he was here all night - and now we're together, you know like to-gether." I say taking a drag from my cigarette. It was silent for a moment again.

"He asked you out?" she finally says softly.

"Huh?" I say

"I said- did he ask you out?" She repeats louder. Fuck. I start thinking about it. No actually we didn't talk about that. I didn't answer. She snickered a little. "He didn't ask you to be his girlfriend did he." She said softly. My mind was racing. No actually he didn't....

"It never really came up." I said rubbing my temples. My head started to throb. Fuck she was right. He didn't ask me to be his girlfriend. We didn't talk about anything like that... I started to feel sick. I smashed my cigarette into the ashtray even though I wasn't finished with it yet.

"Oh Elle..." Lia said with a hint of worry in her voice.

"He said he loves me. " I sighed into the phone.

"Was that before or after you fucked him?" She said bluntly.

"Lia come on." I groaned.

"No I'm serious Elle. Gerard's a good guy and I don't like you fucking around with him." She said. Holy shit! She did not just say that. A wave of anger passed over me.

"what?" I snapped.

"You heard me." She said back.

"Lia...you're fucking gonna say that I'm... oh god! I mean... you..." I stammered

"I what?" She says mockingly. "Look Gerard is a friend of mine Elle and I'm not just gonna stand by and watch you rip his heart out." She tells me.

"Since when is Gerard your FRIEND?" I ask "And my relationship with him is none of your business anyway. What the hell did you tell him yesterday?" I ask.

"Yesterday?" She says. Oh fuck. Here we go again - with the repeating.

"Yes yesterday or Tuesday.. or whatever the fuck day it was. He said you went over there." I said lighting another cigarette up. Fuck Lia always stressed me out...

"Where?" She asks. Oh this is just bullshit.

"Uh to his fucking house..." I snap. "You were in his room remember?! In his bed?!" I start to yell. "You want to talk about fucking around on people..look at you and what you're doing.!" I hissed at her and then took a deep breath. This wasn't going well...

"Uh yeah I went over there cause I was looking for Ray... you know my BOYFRIEND" She yells into the phone. "But uh I couldn't find him cause lets see now... uh where was he.. uh he was with YOU!" She's yelling into the phone. "What were you doing with him Elle? I mean you tasted Frankie and now you've had Gerard so what is Ray next?" She's freaking out now.

"Lia I didn't touch Ray." I say trying to keep my voice steady. I so do not want to get into a fight with her over the phone. Especially not over this. This was just ridiculous. I mean me and Ray?

"Yeah right.." She smirks.

"Come on Lia you really think that I would make a move on RAY!" I laugh.

"Hell I don't know Elle. I mean you're just..." Her voice trailed off.

"I'm just what??" I ask.

"Well you're you." She finally says softly. "You know I just worry about Ray and that's all." Lia sounded hurt now. "I really do like so much and I mean you're with him all day long at school and all and I hardly see them."

I felt ridiculous all of a sudden. Lia was right... I never thought about that... It was so not like her to admit things like that though. "Lia I'm so sorry." I said softly.

I started apologizing to her.. Telling her I was sorry I took off with Ray...sorry that I didn't call her...swearing I would never betray her with Ray like that. Fuck. I was on the phone with her for almost twenty minutes. She said she had some things to do today and we agreed to meet before the rave at the diner up the block around 10 at night.

It wasn't until I hung up from her that I realized what happened. I mean I called her to tell her to stop hanging all over Gerard and she fucking twisted the whole thing around and had me apologizing to her. To her! And for what! For being alone with Ray for what a few fucking hours?! Oh Lia! You are a fucking bitch! I was tempted to pick the phone back up but I didn't. I'll just talk to her tonight...

Well I wasn't just gonna sit around all day waiting for Gerard to come back... And I my head was still spinning from talking to Lia. I wanted to go buy something to wear for tonight. And I needed some kind of a present to bring to Pauls mom tomorrow.

I called Gerard up just to tell him that I was gonna take a bus into the city to do some shopping and that Id meet up with him later at the diner and he freaked out. Said it wasn't safe for me to go to the city all alone. I tried not to laugh. I mean it was sweet in a way, that he cared so much, but come on now Gerard. Its not like I cant fucking take of myself... I told him to come with me then, but said he really couldn't and blah blah blah...

After a while of going back and forth about it he said that he thought that Bob had some things to do today and if I could please just go with him instead of going alone. I hesitantly agreed.

Twenty minutes later Bob pulls up in front of my house.

"I'm so sorry " I tell him as I get in. He just shrugged. "Its not like I need a babysitter." I told him. "If uh you don't want to go that's cool." I said as he started to pull away.

"No really its ok." He said smiling at me. "Don't tell anyone but I really wanted to go see the tree." He laughs.

"The what?" I ask

"You know the big tree. At uh Rockefeller Center." He said as we drove towards the bus station.

"You've never went to see the tree growing up?" I ask stupidly.

"Well no its uh kinda far from Chicago!" he laughed.

"Oh yeah that's right!" I said remembering Bobs not from around here. "So you've uh never been to the city then? No sightseeing or nothing?" I ask. He shakes his head no as we get out of his car.

"You could've asked the guys to go." I said looking out the window. Bob just looked at me blankly. Yeah I guess not... We pay for our tickets and get on the bus.

"Well I'll bring you around Bobby... anywhere you want to go. Don't worry I'll take good care of you and we wont get lost.." I teased him as we sat down. "You can even have the window seat." I said smiling.

Hmmm. Me taking care of Bob? Somehow I don't think that's what Gerard had in mind when he asked Bob to come with me. Oh well...

We got to Penn station and started wandering around the streets. I brought Bob everywhere he asked. I practically grew up in the city. Papa use to work here and my mom would bring me all the time to go see him. It was strange being on these streets again. It brought back a lot of memories I thought I had forgotten.

I told Bob every single one of them too as we walked. He just smiled politely as I talked. I think I was making him uncomfortable talking so much about myself and my family... I asked him if I he wanted me to stop talking so much and he said no, that he just didn't know what to say... He felt bad and all about me losing my mom and my papa, but that he's never really lost anyone that close to him before. I told him he was lucky.

Finally we reached Central park. We sat on a bench next to a funky looking guy who offered Bob a joint for seven bucks. Bob took it and paid him. Again probably not what Gerard had in mind! We smoked it as we walked along back towards the streets. Bob seemed much more relaxed now. We went to see the famous tree and I think Bob was slightly disappointed. I mean it was just a tree. It didn't actually do anything!

We stopped and looked at it for a while. I smoked a cigarette as we watched the ice skaters go by. I looked down at my watch. It was almost 5 o'clock.

I was starving. I hadn't eaten since this morning. And then I realized that I spent every penny I had brought with me. I was shopping as Bob and I walked through the city. Along the way I had bought a blue halter top shirt thing to wear to the rave tonight and eight pairs of shoes. Did I mention I'm a shoe junkie?

I just can't help myself. I love shoes so much. I like to keep them in their boxes and stack them along my bedroom walls. The boxes practically hit the ceiling now. I have so many shoes I hardly wear the same ones twice... Bob couldn't understand why I needed so many shoes. Or why I bought two more pairs of mary jane heels when I was wearing a pair of them already... I tried to explain to him the subtle differences in the buckles and the heel height but it was like I was just talking to myself. He just shook his head at me as I talked.

Ah fuck it. I gave up trying to explain it to him... I should've just come by myself... I look over at Bob and sigh...But he is carrying like almost all of my shopping bags so I guess its good he's here!

The joint we smoked before was making me so fucking hungry I thought I was just gonna die right there in the street... And I had no money left. I dug through my purse as we walked.. Nope... not even a fucking quarter! Damn sales tax laws. They keep fucking changing them around. I should've brought more money...

I was begging Bob as we walked back towards Penn station to buy me some french fries from the McDonalds across the street. He said I should've thought about that before I bought so many shoes... I just kept pouting until he caved.

We stood on line arguing about what size fries to get. I insisted I was so hungry that I wanted an extra large. Bob said Id never eat that many and he was only buying a medium for us to share. I pouted some more on line until I won. Now we're sitting at a table and I cant finish the fries Bob had laid out on a tray in front of me.

"I just can't eat anymore!" I begged him grabbing at my stomach and moaning.

He folded his arms and frowned at me. "You made me buy them now you're gonna eat them!" He said tapping his fingers on the table.

"Oh I cant!" I cried picking a fry up and looking at it. "I'm gonna die!" I said dropping back down on to the pile. I pushed the tray towards Bob.

Bob chuckled. "You're not gonna die from eating a french fry Elle...but I will kill you if you don't eat them all." He said pushing the tray back towards me. I moaned in pain as I forced a fry into my mouth... Bob laughed.

"Please Bob!" I begged him again. "Can you eat some more?" I asked He shook his head no. "Well then can I just take them home? Ill eat them on the bus." I said getting up.

Bob pulled me back down. "No you're gonna eat them here." He said smugly. Oh fuck! He was so fucking stubborn.

"Every last one of them." He said pushing the tray closer towards me.

"Fine!" I said and picked another one up. I took a small bite of it.

"We're gonna be here all day if you keep eating like that!" He laughed. I shrugged.

"SO WHAT!" I said nibbling a little more on it. He shrugged back. I wanted him to be like you know what just forget it but he wouldn't give in... He just watched me nibble on it slowly and didn't say anything. I sighed. I guess we'll be here a while then...

"Tell me a story Bob." I say dunking my fry into the ketchup and swirling it around.

"A story about what?" He asked raising his eyebrows at me. That's when it hit me...

"Tell me ..uh... what you did on Halloween?" I tried to say like it was just some random thought that popped into my head...He looked a me for a second and didn't speak. I took a small bite of my fry and looked at him blankly. "I uh wasn't with you guys on Halloween, so uh tell me -what'd you guys do?" I tried to ask innocently, like I really didn't care...

"Yeah I know you weren't there." He said with a hint of confusion in his voice. "It was uh Frankie's birthday." He said leaning back in his chair.

"Oh really! I didn't know that. You know mines the day before that." I said nibbling on the fry.

"Yeah I did." He said looking at me funny. He picked up one of my fries and ate it.

"So uh what'd you guys do?" I asked him leaning forward.

"uh we just hung out." He mumbled while chewing.

"With Lia?" I asked . He nodded.

"What do you think of Lia?" I asked him. He looked uncomfortable. He shifted in his seat a little.

"She's uh Rays girlfriend." He said plainly.

"Well yeah silly, I know that. I mean what do you think of her?" I repeated.

"I don't know." He said grabbing another fry. What the fuck? Suddenly he's hungry now? I think maybe he just doesn't want to talk, so he keeps sticking fries in his mouth. "Is this about Gerard?" He finally says. I felt nauseous. I look up at him and bite my bottom lip slightly.

"What do you mean?" I ask him softly.

"You and Gee are dating now right?" He asks me. I just nod. He smiles. "Yeah, I figured you really did like him." He smirks.

"What does any of this have to do with Lia?" I ask softly. I'm afraid of what he's gonna say. He shrugged. "Bob come on" I insist.

"Na, I just figured you know." He shrugged again. No I didn't know. I looked at him waiting for him to continue. "It was bound to happen eventually. There was no way you were that big of a bitch" He smiled. I didn't. What was bound to happen? Lia and Gerard? And why would he think that I'm a bitch? What the fuck was he talking about? I looked at Bob in disbelief.

"What was bound to happen?" I choked on my fry a little. He didn't notice...He went on.

"Well you know when you didn't come to Frankie's party..." He said. I just looked at him. I had no idea what he was talking about. I didn't even know that it was Frankie's birthday...

"You know it was like it was never gonna happen, that you were just fucking around with him." Bob said grabbing the last few fries and popping them into his mouth. He must've really wanted to get out of here and end this conversation. "But I never believed that." He added.

I just shook my head at him and waited for him to go on. "I don't know what you mean." I told him.

"Well when Lia said you didn't want to come to Frankie's-"Bob started to say. That was it...I cut him off.

"She said what?" I interrupted.

"Well she said when she told you that Gerard kinda liked you and was gonna tell you that on Halloween, well that you didn't want to come with us anymore." Bob mumbled getting up. I pulled him back down.

"what?" I demanded.

"Look Elle" He said looking into my eyes. "Don't tell her that I told you that she told me that." He said seriously. " I swore to her that Id keep it a secret." He said quietly. I just nodded.

"But that's what she told you?" I asked him. He nodded. "She said that she told me that Gerard said he liked me and I said what exactly again?" I stammered. Bob stood up again. I didn't. He looked down at me.

"Elle, I don't want to .." Bob started to say

"You told Gerard that she told you I was just fucking around with him didn't you?" I interrupted him.

"Ok Elle." He said sitting again. "Yeah actually I did and I'm sorry." He said shrugging. "I mean it was obvious to me that you liked him by the way you were carrying on around him at school." He said. I just looked at him. "But then you'd fucking tell Lia that you were just fucking around with him and all and I don't know." He said. "Something just wasn't right about it all and then when you started messing with Frankie...." He mumbled and his voice trailed off.

"I didn't do anything with Frankie!" I gasped. Bob shrugged.

"I don't really know Elle." He mumbled.

"I didn't!" I insisted. "It wasn't like that Bob!" I cried out

"Well I'm glad you worked it all out though." He added getting up again." You and Gerard seem good for each other." He said and then grabbed my arm and lifted me up out of the chair.. "Come on Elle, we've gotta get going." He said pulling me towards the door. I just looked at him dumbstruck.

It was all starting to make sense now. Lia was telling Gerard that I was just messing around with him. That's why he was always so cautious with me... Why the fuck would she do that? And there's something else Bobs not telling me....

Every time I said Lia's name he got real nervous...

Something else is going on...

I can just feel it...