FicWad

It was after noon by the time I got to Gerard's house. Actually it was almost 2oclock...I had driven straight home to change my clothes after he left...he left... ha ... more like bolted out of there...I figured he was pissed that I did so much coke all night again... I couldn't really think straight anymore... My jeans were dirty and a little damp even from sitting on the wet grass in the cemetery for so long. I just had to go home and change them...I didn't realize it took me so long though...

Also the fact that I smoked an obscene amount of weed as I changed clothes might have slowed me down more though...I think!... Anyway, I was just so stressed over everything that I needed to chill a little... once I started smoking a little, a little became a lot and the time flew by...

And then I even wasted time putting on more makeup but I wasn't sure what the point was in that... Gerard already saw the bruise... I had to talk to him...The weed had made me calmer... a little spacey but calm... Now's a good a time as any I thought as I knocked on his front door...

Mikey answered it. "Elle!" he said looking hard at me." Whoa!" He squints a little looking at my cheek. I guess I didn't put on as much make-up as I thought I did.

"Can I come in?" I asked shivering a little as the cold wind hit my back.

"Uh yeah I'm sorry."Mikey says holding open the door. His eyes are still fixated on my cheek. I was about to walk in when I had second thoughts.

"uh are you're parents here?" I ask looking inside... This was not exactly how I wanted to meet them.

"No" he said shaking his head. I raised my eyebrows at him."theyre not here!" he laughed. I sighed and walked in. I had never been inside before and I took a quick look around. We were in the living room. The TV was on and Frankie was sitting on the floor holding a controller playing some fighting game. Goddamn he had the volume up so loud.

"Hey Elle." He says with out looking up.

"Hey." I said back. "Uh is Gerard here?" I ask Mikey.

"I thought he was with you." Mikey says shaking his head at me. With me? Oh no...

"Damn!" Frankie yells looking over at me. He paused the game.

"What?" I say startled a little.

"Lia said you got in a fight with jock boy but I didn't think she meant that kinda fight!" He laughs and gets up off the floor. Instead of walking around the couch he climbs over it towards me and Mikey... Mikey is frowning at him.

"That's not funny Frankie." Mikey says folding his arms.

"Hey that fucker hits hard!" Frankie laughs rubbing his jaw. "At least tell me you got in one good hit for me!" Frankie laughs. I giggle a little at him. God I was so stoned...and Frankie is so funny...

"That's not funny!" Mikey scolds us. "You shouldn't be laughing... especially you Elle! You look really hurt!" He says adjusting his glasses looking at me. I tried not to laugh but I couldn't help it. Mikey's looking at me pretty hard now.

"Are you high?" Mikey asks totally shocked...

"A little." I say shrugging. Mikey frowns. "Oh chill out Mikey it was just one joint." I laugh... actually it more like 2 and a half but whose counting... "But Paul didn't hit me." I say pulling my hair forward on my neck more. "He's not like that." I add. Frankie is still smiling.

"Good cause any guy who hits a girl deserves-"Mikey started to say. Frankie cut him off grinning.

"Was it Lia?" he says.

"Huh?" I say looking over at him.

"Did you and Lia have like a chick fight?!" He says grinning widely. I laugh again. "Cause that would be so cool!" He says pulling around to the couch. He sits down and pats the cushion next to him for me to sit to so I do. "SO tell me..." he says nodding." What were you wearing... what was she wearing... was it all like...oooh"

"Frankie!"Mikey groans as I laugh again. I was tempted to lie and tell him yeah but I didn't...

"Lia and I didn't get in a fight Frankie." I laugh. "Sorry to disappoint you." I say as he sighs.

"So what happened then?" Mikey asks seriously. I just looked at him blankly. "Elle." Mikey sighs.

"I...uh..." I stutter. I didn't know what to say...Fuck.. I should've thought of something before I got here...

"When Gerard sees that he's gonna freak!" Frankie says unpausing his game and focusing back on the TV again. I guess since there was no chick fight he lost interest in the conversation...

"Uh he already did." I say. Frankie shrugs and focuses back on the TV.

"When?" asks Mikey. He stepped between the couch and the TV now. Frankie was leaning to the side looking around him

"Dude move!" Frankie calls out. Mikey took a small step to the left.

"I saw him this morning." I say to Mikey. He scrunched his eyebrows like he didn't believe me. "I did." I nod. "He was uh at the cemetery." I add.

"Did you tell him what happened?" Mikey asked hesitantly..."Or did you give him that 'I... uh' answer you gave me and now you're hear to 'explain'." He said frowning... I don't think Mikey likes me very much...probably cause all the shit I put Gerard through...

"I didn't get a chance to say anything." I said shaking my head. "he just took off." I said softly.

"Elle don't tell me you didn't tell him it wasn't Paul at least." Mikey said looking down at me disapprovingly.

"I told you Mikey." I sighed. "I didn't get to say anything." Frankie paused the game and got up and stood next to Mikey.

"He's going to kill him." Frankie says and smiles a little.

"Who?" I ask stupidly...

"Uh Paul!" Mikey says shaking his head at me.

"Why?!" I cry out still not understanding.

"Uh cause he thinks Paul did that to you!" Frankie says giving me the same disappointing look as Mikey... "How much did you say you smoked again?" He adds laughing a little.

"Why would he think it was Paul?" I ask looking up at them. They were both frowning.

"Uh cause Lia said-" Frankie started.

"Holy shit! If I hear the words 'Lia said' one more time I'm gonna...argh!" I said rubbing my eyes.

"Well Lia said- I mean Lia made it sound like you and Paul were fighting." Mikey said looking around nervously.

"Why would she do that? that's not true!" I exclaim.

"I don't fucking know Elle." He says shrugging. Frankie is grinning now.

"What?" I ask him.

"Fuck... he's gonna kill him!" Frankie exclaimed.

I shook my head no... "he's not gonna kill him." I sighed. "he couldn't." I say looking down.

"Sure he could ... its easy see." Frankie smiles and makes some karate gestures in the air looked like from the game he was just playing.

"He's not gonna kill him Frankie." I laugh "At least not barehanded!" I said and Frankie and I laughed. Mikey frowned.

"That's not funny." Mikey scolded us. "What time did you say it was that you last saw him?" Mikey asked looking worried.

"Uh it was like 10 maybe." I said scrunching my face up... Mikey's face dropped. "He didn't come back yet?" I ask.

"Gerard left right after Lia came over Elle... he hasn't been back since." Frankie said looking at the clock on the wall.

"Actually he was here." Mikey says... Frankie and I look at him. "He uh... came in when you were in the bathroom." Mikey says looking down at his feet.

"What time was that?" I ask Mikey.

"Like maybe 11." Mikey shrugs. "Maybe 11:30 I dunno." He adds. "It was right before I hit level 10." He nods.

"I didn't see him." Frankie says giving Mikey a strange look.

"Yeah, no he just flew in here and grabbed 'something' from downstairs." Mikey said raising his eyebrows at Frankie.

"What?" I ask. They both just looked at each other. "what was it?" I repeated. Mikey looked at Paulie and raised his eyebrows.

"The shuriken?" He said softly. Mikey nodded.

"The what?" I say looking at both of them. They exchanged looks again. "Hey!" I say punching Mikey's arm. "What the fuck is going on."

"Damn.. he really is gonna kill him." Frankie says softly. "Are you sure?" he says to Mikey.

"I dunno, it looked like it..." Mikey says "I just hit level 10 I wasn't really paying attention." He said looking down at his feet.

"So much for being barehanded." Frankie said softly and opened a door in the hallway.

"Dude you cant go down there." Mikey said.

"I'm just gonna go check!" Frankie said flipping on a light illuminating the stairs going down to the basement...

I felt like I was invisible, just watching them. "What the hell are you talking about guys!" I yell. They both look at me.

"Come on Elle."Mikey says and takes my hand. I follow him down the stairs. Frankie was behind me.

"Gerard's gonna kill you if he catches you going through his room Frankie!" Mikey laughs.

I look around... So this is Gerard's room...I don't know what I expected his room to look like but this... this was...a basement? I don't know... I looked around at the figures and things he had on his shelves as Frankie opened a drawer and started digging through it. Mikey jumped on the bed. I looked over... Fuck... his bed... I could almost see Lia laying there like Mikey was now... Bitch...

"Its not here." Frankie sighed.

"Try the next drawer." Mikey suggested. I walked over to the desk. There were papers scattered all over it with pictures and scribbles and what not... I shuffled through them...

Underneath was a portfolio book with pages sticking out. I picked it up. One of the pages sticking out looked familiar. I think it was from his notebook... I open the portfolio. Yes it was... It was the picture I saw him drawing that day of the lady ripping the guys heart out..."Gerard doesn't like people looking at his pictures!" Mikey says tossing a pillow at me.

I shrug." So."

"No Elle...he really doesn't." Frankie says looking in the next drawer now.

"What's he gonna do-beat the crap out of me?" I say and laugh. Frankie laughs too. Mikey frowns. "Come on Mikey lighten up!" I say as he opens another drawer. I thumb through the pages. They were all really good. I was halfway through the book when I saw it. It was a picture of me. I ran my hand along the page... there was no date... but I knew when it was... It was years ago actually...

My hair was a lot shorter and I had my mom's necklace on... I remember that day... We took a class field trip to the the museum and I begged my papa to let me wear it. I lost it somewhere in the museum...Papa was furious with me... But that was the only day I ever wore it... He had to have drawn this then...

I flipped the page...there was another one on the next page... My hair was curly in this one. Fuck...that was like 4 years ago... I flipped through page after of page...It was like I was watching my life unfold... When did he draw all these?? How come I never noticed him drawing me?

"Its not here either." Frankie sighs. I look up from the book.

"What the fuck are you looking for?" I ask him flipping through some pages.

"The shuriken." Mikey said plainly.

"What the hell is that?" I ask.

Mikey yawns a little. "It a uh..its a ninja star" He says pushing his glasses up.

I shook my head at him a little. "a what?" I ask again.

"Damn Elle." Frankie says in disbelief that didn't know what that was. He opened another drawer. "Its like a knife shaped like a star." He says digging through the drawer.

"What do you mean a star?" I ask. "Stars are just light.. they have no shape..." I say and they both frown. "Like a starfish shape?" I ask. No one answers "Is it dangerous?" I ask getting worried now. They still didn't answer. Mikey just looked up at the ceiling and Frankie acted like he didn't hear me. "Mikey!"I yell.

"What?" He says looking over at me.

"Dangerous?" I repeat. He looks at me blankly. "Come on Mikey can it hurt someone?" I ask. He nods a little..."like cause death?" I ask waving my hands in the air. He shrugs. "So its like a death star!" I exclaim and they both laugh.

"Death star!" Frankie says softly laughing as he opens the closet.

"Gerard has a death star?" I say weakly... "And he went looking for Paul??"I was feeling sick again...

"No!" Mikey laughs.

"You just said that that's what it was!" I cry out.

"The death star is like a fucking laser from star wars Elle!" Frankie laughs closing the closet door.

"What?" I hiss.

"Like a.. uh...like a ray gun." Frankie says heading towards the desk.

"Only much bigger." Mikey laughs again.

"That's not funny Mikey!" I yell. He's still smiling..."Gerard's out there somewhere with it" I yell as my eyes well up with tears. Mikey laughs again.

"He doesn't have a death star Elle." Mikey sighs and sits up on the bed. "It's a ninja star." He says plainly. "And he may not even have it..."He adds.

"Dude...I think he does cause I cant find it anywhere." Paul says shaking his head.

"Death star...ninja star...I don't fucking care what its called its still a ray gun!" I say seriously. "And someone's gonna get hurt." I say holding back tears now... Fuck.. this is all Lia's fault...

Frankie is scratching his head and giving me a funny look. Mikey gets up off the bed and is giving me the same look.

"Elle, Gerard doesn't have a ray gun." Frankie says to me like I'm two years old.

"Mikey just said-" I protested.

"I did not!" Mikey interrupts.

"You did too!" I cy out. "You said it's a ray gun!" I say folding my arms.

"No I said that." Frankie says.

"And he agreed!" I said pointing to Mikey.

"Elle you can't carry a death star around!" Mikey said exasperated. Frankie nods in agreement and starts looking under the bed now. "And we have to get out of here before Gee gets back!" He says taking the portfolio from me.

"Why cant you carry it?" I ask taking it back from him. I wasn't finished looking through it yet...

"First of all it doesn't exsist." Mikey sighs.

"Then why is Frankie looking for it under the bed?" I ask pointing at him.

"I'm not looking for a death star!" Frankie calls out annoyed now from half way under the bed. His voice was a little muffled but I could hear him cursing a little.

"Then what are you looking for?" I demand flipping through the portfolio some more as Mikey paces the floor.

"That's what I'd like to know." Gerard's voice called out from behind us.