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I asked Bob if he wanted to stay another night so we could go see Mr. Reefer tomorrow morning...Since Bob was a little high too it took me like 10 minutes to convince him that Mr. Reefer is in fact a real person... An attorney actually... I mean I love Bob, I really do and someday some girls gonna be real lucky to be his wife but it sure as hell aunt gonna be me...and it sure as hell aint gonna be this day...

I called the front desk and told them I wanted to stay another night and that I needed someone to change the sticky sheets on my bed... Well I didn't say that they were sticky, but whatever... Lia asked if she could call her parents to let them know she's not coming home today. I just looked at her. I didn't know what to say... She was so fucked up she didn't even notice that I didn't answer she just picked it up and started dialing...She talked to her mom for a few minutes... Apparently her dad was not home, there was some sort of computer crashing problem in the office and he had to go... Bullshit... he wasn't in the office... he was with his whore... I made a face as Lia hung up...

"Elle do you think there's something funny going on with my dad?" Lia says to me as she hung up. My bottom lip started to tremble a little. I bit down on it...

"What do you mean?" Gerard said from across the room. He was still smoking by the window... Chain-smoking actually... If I had to count I'd say that was like his fifth cigarette.

Lia ignored him... "I mean." She says looking right at me.."When you were at breakfast with him did he say anything weird?" She says raising her eyebrows at me.

"Weird?" I repeat back trying to stall.. No, no he said nothing weird! I mean it's totally normal to threaten to disown your daughter... I mean he abandoned me didn't he??? He had to know he was my father... All these years... He had to have some kind of relationship with my mom... He worked with my papa for over 20 years...and I'm only 18... I don't know what happened back then... I'm sure the letter said... I look over at Gerard. He's giving me a funny look.

Lia sighed. "Okay well, I cant believe I'm gonna tell you this." Lia says a little softer. Gerard got up and walked closer to us and sat on the chair. "Last week when my dad came home he uh.. smelt funny." Lia said raising her eyebrows again.

"Elle... can I" He whispers at me nodding towards the bedroom.

"Funny like what?" Bob says to Lia lowering the TV volume a little.

"I don't know... funny like... It was like flowery." Lia said sighing a little. I went to get up and Lia grabbed my arm and pulled me back down. "Wait Elle... I'm not done talking to you" She said making a face at me.

"Well then what kind of flower? A rose?" I said trying to hurry Lia along.

"Actually it kinda smelt like your coat." Lia said nodding.

"My coat?" I asked a little confused.

"Give me Elle's coat sweetie." Lia says and Gerard gets up to get it from the hook by the door... Whoa! Gerard got up?? I was about to say something when Lia shoves my coat right into my face smothering me with it. "What is that?" She says pushing it closer as I try to back away.

"What?" I mumble from underneath it.

"That smell." She insists.

"Just- Fuck Lia, wait." I say pulling the coat from my face. She sighs. I lean towards the coat and smell it. "Its Calvin Klein." I sigh... Damn Chrissy and her trigger-happy finger... My fucking coat stinks still...

"So your dad wears Calvin Klein" Bob shrugs.

"Uh no actually he doesn't." Lia says sadly to Bob." It's a woman's scent right Elle?" She looks over at me and I shrug again.

"You think your dads cheating on your mom?" Bob asks her. I look down at my bare feet. I brought seven pairs of shoes and I'm sitting here bare foot...

"I don't know." Lia sighs.

"Well, did you ask him about the smell?" Bob says.

"He said he was at the mall and some lady sprayed him with it." Lia sighs again. I shrug. "But then a few days later he smelt like it again.." Lia frowns.

"I guess it takes a while to fade." I suggest. Fuck. I can't believe I just said that... Why am I covering for him still...

"Elle." Gerard says still waiting for me to get up...I stood up, I felt a little faint still...

"And then the other day...I got in his car and the seat was slid forward." Lia says like that was definite proof. No one says anything. "No I mean like totally forward, like Elle does cause she cant reach the pedals, I mean my dad is pretty tall so..." Lia says laughing a little nervously. I sat on the arm of the couch and rubbed my temples a little. I was a little dizzy. Gerard reached over and put his arm around me.

"Are you okay?" He whispered and I nodded.

"I just need a minute." I said closing my eyes.

"So you think a girl was driving?" Bob says. He sounded like he agreed with Lia...

"Maybe he just had to get something out of the back seat?" I suggest opening my eyes and looking at them. Bob had sat down where I was sitting next to Lia. Fuck.. Shut up Elle! Why are you defending him??? No... if Lia finds out.. it'll kill her... He'd make sure of it...

"That's bullshit." Bob laughs and I shrug again..."It sounds like he's fucking around on your mom, how long have they been married?" He says to Lia.

"Like 25 years." Lia says.

Bob laughs. "Yeah that sounds about right." Lia frowns. "Hey that's what happened with my dad." Bob said more seriously now. "Mid life crisis I guess-that's why we moved from Chicago." He sighed.

"I don't know." Lia shrugged not wanting to believe her dad would do that. "You know my dad." She says turning to me. "What do you think Elle?"

"I... I ..uh." I just say biting my lip harder now. Lia was staring at me. Waiting for an answer...

"You don't look so hot." Lia says giving me a funny look.

"I think I'm gonna puke." I say covering my mouth and jumping up off the couch. I ran into the bathroom and threw up in the toilet.

Lia followed me in. I don't know why... I was rinsing my mouth out in the sink now and she was just standing behind me. I looked at her in the mirror.

"That's the second time you've puked this week." She says frowning a little.

"So" I reply. She doesn't say anything she just keeps looking at me waiting for me to... to what justify it? "I guess I'm still hung over." I shrug as I walk past her in the doorway.

Bob was letting the housekeeping lady in now. There was like 2 inches of rum left in the bottle on the nightstand table. Lia went to toss it the trash, which was stupid. I mean First why did I call housekeeping if we were gonna clean up ourselves and second-"Wait." I say taking the bottle and swallowing what was left in it all at once. No one said anything.

Gerard was lighting up another smoke. Lia was zippering her bag now and Bob... well Bob was watching Lia bend over zippering up her bag...The housekeeping lady looked at me made some sorta tsk tsk sound under her breath... It was obvious that she disapproved of us... I wasn't in the mood to be judged by some god damn stranger so I asked Gerard if we could go for a walk or something until she left...

Lia was paranoid that the lady was gonna go through her purse and find her stash so she wouldn't leave the room. Bob wanted to stay with Lia... So it was just me and Gerard now... Walking slowly along the cold streets, holding hands. I was kinda surprised how many people were up and out to seeing how it was New Years Day and all...

"Can I see my moms letter?" I say to him when we were a few blocks from the hotel.

"I didn't bring it." Gerard says plainly.

"You left it in the room." I panicked a little. "In the room with Lia?"

"I put it back in the safe." He said squeezing my hand a little.

"Then tell me." I said as we stopped walking. We were in front of some big office building. There was a brick wall pathway thing in front of it that some people were leaning on, some people were sitting on it. Others were just walking by... Gerard lifted me up and sat me on the wall. My feet barely touched the floor it was so high. He stood in front of me and rested his hands on my thighs. "well." I insisted.

"You should just read it." He sighed a little.

"Come on Gerard." I laughed a little. "Just tell me... I promise I wont pass out again." I laugh. Fuck... The rum was hitting me hard... I guess it was cause I threw up all that food...

"That's not funny." Gerard says squeezing my thighs a little. "You really scared me." He said frowning a little.

"Oooh I'm sorry." I said kissing his cheek.

"You really should have something else to eat." Gerard says rubbing his hand on my thigh.

"I'm not hungry." I say trying to kiss him again.

"Yeah but you haven't eaten in a while." He says leaning his head to the side a little so I could kiss his neck. I reached my hand up and ran it through his hair... It was so much shorter now. I pulled on the front a little.

"Now you can't hide." I laughed a little.

"What?" he smiled back.

"Behind your hair." I explained tugging on it again. "You'd always have it in your face." I laughed. "Now there gonna know if you're paying attention...before you could never see what you were looking at in class."

He grabbed my hands from his hair and pulled them towards his mouth and kissed them. "I was looking at you." He said softly. I smiled. "Come now... I want you to have something to eat." He said trying to lift me back down. I resisted.

"I'm not hungry." I said leaning back.

"You have to baby," He said firmly

"Jesus Christ Gerard, leave it alone you're not my father!" I snap and then there was an awkward silence. Gerard just looked at me. He didn't know what to say...

"What did my mom say about him Gerard?" I say holding back tears now. He looked like he didn't want to answer but he didn't want to see me cry cause he wouldn't answer either...

"I don't know." He sighed." I guess he was working with your grandpa and she was still in high school and then he was driving her home one time and..." Gerard's voice trailed off. I looked at him to continue. "And he got a little..."

"Rough." I said shutting my eyes. Trying to erase the memories I could feel creeping back up... I could hear Gerard exhale sharply. "And then." I say and I feel Gerard's hand on my face now...

"And she never told anyone." Gerard sighed. I opened my eyes.

"Why?" I ask stupidly...

"She was trying to protect you." Gerard says lifting me off the wall.

"From who?" I say.

"I don't know Elle." Gerard sighed taking my hand. "I guess Bill told her that if she told anyone he'd take you from her." My mind was spinning now... "Are you gonna tell Lia?" He said squeezing my hand.

"You're worried about Lia!" I exclaim.

"No I'm worried about you when you tell her." He laughed a little. "I mean she's a fucking nut!" he says smiling at me.

"Are you sure about what it said?" I said as we started to walk back towards the hotel.

"Yeah." He said softly. I sighed.

"I don't know then..." I said shaking my head as we got into the elevator. "You know I'm gonna go talk to him." I tell Gerard.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Gerard says as we get out and walk down the hall.

"I have to." I said and Gerard made a face at me. Lia and Bob were coming down the hall towards us. Bob said they were going to top of the empire state building if we wanted to come. I shook my head no. I was also afraid of heights...

Gerard and I went back into the room. It was nice and clean and it smelt like lemons for some reason... I go into the bedroom. The bed was made nicely and Lia had the suitcases on it. I was taking mine down off the bed and carrying it to the door when Gerard was coming in.

"You're going to see him right now Elle?" Gerard says laughing a little.

"No not right now!" I laugh. Gerard pushes the others off the bed and leans back on it.

"Hey do you know where Lia's pipe is?" He says sighing a little. I smile at him.

"I'll get it." I say. When I come back in the room Gerard had shut the curtains and it was a little dim...He had taken his boots off and he was laying on the bed looking up at the ceiling.

I climbed onto the bed and sat next to him. I took a hit from it and leant over and pressed my lips to his, blowing the smoke into his mouth...He inhaled it in and rubbed his tongue along my lip softly as he did so... We kept passing the pipe back and forth and the smoke back and forth between us until there was no more smoke left, just his lips pressing on mine. I crawled on top of him and pressed my head down onto his chest listening to his heart beating steadily... I loved to hear his heart beating...

"Can I ask you something?" He said running his hand through my hair.

"Umm okay" I say not sounding as sure as I meant to. I was so stoned...It didn't even sound like my voice...

"You don't have to answer." He says and I can hear his heart beating a little faster now...

"No I'll answer." I say running my fingers softly along his chest.

I hear him take a deep breath.

"Okay then...umm its about Paul..."