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"You cut yourself?" Gerard said reaching out to touch my bandage. I pulled back a little. "How did you do that?" He asked a little confused. He thought I... fuck.. He thought it was an accident... Oh God...

"I..." I just looked at him blankly wiping the tears in my eyes. He never would've guessed that I...I...

He reached for my arm again. "It looks pretty bad, what happened babe? Your whole arm looks like it was bleeding!" He said as he held it up looking at the mess of a bandage Lia gave me. I looked over at Mikey. My eyes locked with his...He knew it was no accident. I could tell just by the look in his eye.

"Gerard, I think-" Mikey said reaching over and putting his hand on his brothers shoulder.

"Who the fuck wrapped this?" Gerard laughed a little ignoring him. He started to unravel the gauze... I pulled my arm back.

"Stop... leave it alone." I said pulling my arm close to me. Mikey was still staring at me. He had such a disappointed look in his eye it was actually making my heart ache...He knew. He knew what I did... He knew it was going to kill Gerard too when he found out... I was hurting him again. No matter how hard I tried not to...I was hurting Gerard... He's done nothing but love me and I just keep hurting him...

"Let me rewrap it." Gerard said pulling my arm again. He always wanted to take care of me. And I always wanted him to...I wished he could just wash away all the pain and hurt from my life but I knew that he couldn't. All the bandages and gauze in the world couldn't stop my heart from bleeding now... Gerard would try though...he'd give his soul if he thought it would ease my pain if only for a moment...

I couldn't let him... "No" I yell pulling my arm away. "Just leave me alone- I don't need your help! Its fine!" I snapped at him.

"Let him fucking see what you did Elle." Lia yells at me a little sarcastically and I make a face at her too. I pulled out my cigarettes from the drawer and put one in my mouth. "You're smoking now!" Lia says like she doesn't believe it.

"Fuck you Lia!" I yell at her. "I don't need you either!" I say lighting it up.

"You sure needed me before your little 'accident'..." Lia mumbled under her breath. Gerard raised his eyebrows at the word accident. I took a deep drag off the cigarette and shut my eyes a little, leaning against the counter. Gerard reached his hand out to touch me and I pulled back a little.

"Gerard I think -" Mikey started to say once more, still staring at me. He was going to tell him. My heart skipped a beat. I started to feel faint...

"What the fuck happened here Lia!" Gerard turns back to her ignoring Mikey again." Were you guys fighting again?" He says shaking his head at her.

"I think we should talk outside." Lia said in such a calm voice, it didn't even sound like her.

"Fine." Gerard said motioning towards the door.

"Whoa, wait I'm going too." Bob said following them. Huh... well I guess at least with Bob there they can't kill each other. I stood up and started to stumble towards the doorway. I wanted to go lay on the couch... I wasn't feeling so well.

"Wait Elle." Mikey said wrapping his arm around my waist. I was too weak to fight him off. He pulled me towards the counter and turned the sink water on.

"Don't." I said as he started to undo the bandage.

"I don't know what Lia did Elle, but this is shit." Mikey said unwrapping the bandage frowning a little. "Its not gonna stop bleeding like this." He sighed.

"I can't stand here." I said wobbling a little. I felt so weak and the sight of the bloody bandage was making me queasy.

"Ray give me that chair for her." Mikey yells over. Ray gets up and slides the chair under me as I collapse. Mikey unrolled enough gauze from my arm to wrap a fucking mummy. I can feel the air hit my skin as he undoes the last layer.

Ray was looking over Mikey's shoulder. He gasped a little and looked back down at me with the same horrific look Lia gave me when she picked me up off the bathroom floor.

Mikey pressed his lips together tightly and put some pressure on my arm. I cried out a little as he started wrapping the gauze tightly.

"What's the matter? It can't be that bad that you're crying Elle!" Frankie laughs getting up from the table. Chrissy and Sara were still sitting there.

Ray pushed Frankie back as he came towards us so he couldn't see. "Lets get out of here." Ray said a little unsteadily.

"Why?" Frankie says making a face at him.

"You know cause uh Lia and all." He nods towards Sara. "We'll go to uh my house or something Frankie." Ray tells him. Frankie shrugs. "You guys wantta go to my house- we can stop and get something to eat?" He says to the girls.
Chrissy giggles. "Okay." She tells him picking up her books.

"I hope you feel better Elle." Sara says as they leave. Ray looks back over at me quickly.

'Thank you' I mouth to him as Mikey finishes up my bandage. Ray sighed a little as he walked out with Sara. He knew too... He knew what I did.... I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Mikey go home." I hear Gerard's voice say firmly. I open my eyes and he's staring at me standing in the kitchen now. I didn't even hear him come in. Lia and Bob didn't come back in with him. They must've left... I look away from him...

"No." Mikey says defiantly back. "I want to know what's going on." He says to Gerard.

"Nothing." Gerard says with a steady voice.

"I didn't mean to..." I say softly looking down at my stomach.

Mikey putting his hand on my shoulder and I shook a little. "What happened Elle?" He asked me softly rubbing my shoulder as I tried not to cry. "Why did you....?"

"It was an accident Mikey." Gerard interrupted.

"I don't think so." Mikey replies.

"Come here." Gerard says pulling Mikey towards the doorway. I slid my chair over to the table and laid my head down on to it closing my eyes. I was so sleepy still. The vodka had really done a number on me. I could hear Gerard saying something to Mikey. Their words were muffled. I heard some rumbling, kinda like thunder... I wasn't sure if it was just my mind playing tricks on me or if it was raining out... and then it was quiet...

I heard footsteps coming towards me I didn't open my eyes. I could feel Gerard's hands wrap around me as he lifted me up. I could smell him as pulled me into his arms. I felt his breath on my cheek as he sighed carrying me in his arms...

"I'm sorry." I said in barely a whisper as he laid me down on to my bed.

"shh." He said looking down at me. "Just shut your eyes" he said as he kissed me goodnight.

"Just sleep..."