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Gerard stormed out slamming the door behind him. I just sat there in shock. I glanced back at the mark on my neck in my reflection. Fuck. How did this happen?  It was so far down and back on my neck that I had to strain to see it. Motherfucker! I jumped up and ran out after Gerard. He was halfway down the hall.

"So you can just take off! What happened to NOT disappearing?" I yelled at him. He stopped and turned and held his hand up at me.

"What?!" He yelled back.

"Oh I get it- I cant walk away but you can!" I said moving towards him. I figured he'd step back but he didn't he just stood there, looking right over me. He wouldn't look me in the eyes.

"Elle." He says grinding his teeth a little.

"Elle.. Elle.." I say mocking him. "What the fuck Gerard!" I say loudly and he still won't look at me. "I don't understand why you're so angry?' I say and he steps back.

"Elle...you.." he mumbled a little still looking past me. Then all of a sudden he swung his eyes back on me. They locked with mine. "You're not that stupid." He says harshly to me. "You fucking play like you are but you're not." He says pointing his finger at me. I just looked at him blankly. I had no idea what he was talking about. "Maybe you're little 'act' worked with Paul but I don't play that way." He carries on.

"Well I'm sorry I don't know how you play cause you never explained the rules!" I interrupt him and he frowns a little.

"You're telling me I'm breaking rules I never knew we had! Its not fair." I protest.

"You need a rule to tell you not to fucking slut around with another guy!" He says and I see Ray peeking out from the living room. He quickly ducked back in.

"I thought we broke up, I swear to God I really did." I said lowering my voice a little. "But I didn't kiss him, he kissed me and it made me sick, it really did." I said and he shook his head a little.

"I have to go." He says taking a step back.

"You don't believe me." I say sniffling a little. He looked away. "Gerard please." I say reaching for his hand. He pulled back and didn't say anything. "Just say something! Anything!" I say getting a little worked up. He shook his head no and turned and opened the front door. "Why the fuck are you leaving Gerard!" I yell at him as I start to cry.

He turns back around and faces me. "I don't want to say something I'm gonna regret." He says lowering his voice a little, giving me a pretty hard look too.

"So the 'rules' don't apply to you!" I say loudly. "You're just gonna leave!" I say as he starts to walk out. "So what are we like over now or?..."  I call out after him and he stops shortly and looks back at me. "Well?" I say and he doesn't say anything. "How long am I supposed to wait for you Gerard?"

"I waited all night." He says and he walked out and shut the door behind him.

I couldn't hold back my tears anymore. I ran back to my room and threw my self on the bed and buried my face in my pillow and cried. Fuck. Why what is wrong with me. I never cry over a guy... Maybe that's cause Gerard's not just a guy...

He was right. Paul always let me get away with shit. I'd give him a lame excuse and he'd look the other way... Fuck, you are that stupid Elle. He got that part wrong. It's not all an act...

I got up a little disgusted with myself. I went over and examined myself in the mirror. I still had Frankie's jeans on.

And the green top I had just put on was making me look sickly. 'Aw come on Elle. You're better than this'. I said softly out loud. Trying to convince myself. Pull it together. Show him you're worth it. Rrrrghh.

I tore off my clothes and ransacked my closet and ended up in a black mini dress. It was kinda retro with a big red belt up high on the waist. It was short but it had a high neck and long sleeves so it wasn't really slutty. Well except for the length... I had changed into a black lace corset bra and matching underwear too. There was just something about wearing something like that, that gave me confidence. I was gonna need all the confidence I could get too, to face Gerard again.

I wanted to show him that I'm not a mess. I'm not a fuck up. That I could play the game... if he tells me the rules...

I picked up Frankie's jeans and went to fold them up, I was gonna bring them back to school for him. As I went to fold them my little girl underwear fell out of them. I laughed to myself. When I had taken them off I slid my underwear down too. They were kinda stuck in the pants. I almost folded them up and gave them to him. Just what he needs! Another pair of my underwear... I wonder what he did with the last pair? I should ask him. That'd really piss Chrissy off! Ha! I was gonna put them in the wash but I didn't have time. There were clothes thrown all over the room so it's not like it mattered. I tossed them on the floor by my closet door. I'll have to clean up when I get home. Wash some of these clothes...

I was in a much better mood as I went back in to the kitchen. Ray was sitting nervously at the table. He gave me a funny look as I sat down smiling a little. I picked up the sandwich he made me and started eating it.

"Uh Gerard came back?" he says looking over at the doorway. I shook my head no. "Oh I thought cause you're smiling..."

"No I just." I shook my head. Ray still looked confused. "Well do you want me to cry?" I say wrinkling my eyebrows a little.

"NO!" Ray cries out laughing a little. "Umm are you high?" He says leaning over and examining my eyes.

"No!" I laugh and he shrugs. "Why does everyone think I'm always high?"  I say and Ray just looked at me.

"Cause you usually are." He says plainly. I just looked at him. Fuck he was right...

"Well not anymore." I say and he snickers.

"So Gerard's not coming back?" He says and I frown. "I'm just asking cause I kinda ate his sandwich," He says looking down at the empty plate in front of him.

"What?" I laugh.

"Well I made three sandwiches and then I heard you guys arguing and I figured one of you wasn't gonna eat... so I ate two." He laughed. I smiled at him. "I figured it was gonna be you though." He says and I frown.

Ray and I talked a little more and then we went back to school. I made it through English class okay. I was really trying hard  to pay attention too. I wanna be something. No one ever expected anything from me. And I was always okay with it. But Gerard makes me want to be... more...

I went into art class and he was already there. He glanced up at me and then looked back down and didn't say anything. He wanted me to 'wait' for him to be ready to talk-so I will. I'll wait forever if I have to... I went and sat down quietly. I didn't try to talk to him or get his attention or anything, even though it was killing me. I was actually surprised at how mature I could be.

The whole class went by. He was sketching something. It was taking all my will power not to peek over at it. He could tell too. He kinda angled it so I could see if I wanted but I shifted in my chair a little and looked the other way and I thought I saw him smile.

The class ended and he walked out with out saying anything. He was obviously not gonna be walking me to gym class that's for sure...As I headed down the hallway alone I started to have second thoughts... What if I'm wrong. What if he thinks that I don't care? That I don't care enough to pursue him? That I don't care that he's not talking to me? I mean I'm trying to do what he asked. Leave him alone... Wait for him... right? What if it's just a test? A test to see if I care... and I'm failing it... Fuck...why do I think so much??

Jessica saw me coming down the hall towards the gym alone and smiled. Bitch... I just ignored her. I wanted to talk to Bob, well yell at Bob actually. How come he didn't tell me I had a hickey on my neck! I mean he had to have seen it in the shower right? Rrgh.. Bob wasn't in class. Apparently he was at the guidance office.

Fuck I hope Mr. Samuels not harassing him about me seeing as he's my husband... No wait Bobs last name starts with a B, he doesn't even have the same consular...

Gym class was over. Kinda like and automatic reaction I headed towards my locker. I don't know why I didn't have my bag and I didn't have any books. I don't realize this until I'm kinda close. Gerard is at his locker already and he saw me. He glanced over and saw me coming and didn't say anything. As he reached in to pull out his jacket I saw her. Jessica. Fucking hanging around his locker again.

This must be a test. Either that or this girl seriously has some kinda death wish... Okay pull it together Elle. Frankie was standing there too and he saw me and waved me over. So I went. Gerard still didn't say anything.

"My pants!" Frankie cried out grabbing them from under my arm. Jessica smiled a little and looked over at Gerard. He was shuffling things in his locker kinda ignoring her. "You gonna bring me home Ellie?" Frankie said hugging his jeans a little. I smiled at him.

"Uh yeah my papas car's at my house." I said looking over at Gerard as he put his coat on.

"Mikey's gonna need a ride too." Gerard says out loud looking at Frankie. Frankie looked at me. I shrugged and didn't say anything. I thought it was obvious Gerard was purposely not talking to me but Frankie didn't seem to notice.

"And you're gonna what- fly home?" Frankie says flapping his arms like wings and laughing a little.

"I've got detention." He says shutting his locker. Jessica was carrying on about how unfair that was when Mr. Samuel went walking by. He saw us and stopped. I waved a little at him. He scratched his head and walked towards us totally ignoring everyone but me. I could see Gerard tensing up.

"Miss Waller." He says waving for me to come closer. I hesitantly took a step towards him.

"What did I do now?" I whine a little. He was holding a pink slip. I thought he was gonna give it to me. Fucking send me to detention, suspend me or something. I didn't even do anything.

He looks me over. "You're wearing a dress now." He says plainly and I nod.

"You don't like it?" I say stupidly. It was the first thing that popped into my head. I'm not sure what he was getting at. I mean yeah it's a dress, that was pretty obvious...

"No its... its.." He stuttered a little. "It's a little short though." He says and he reaches over and touches the bottom hem. I couldn't believe he was touching me. I mean he wasn't touching me, but it was wrong. Something was wrong with him touching the bottom of my skirt like that... It all happened so quickly though... I can feel his knuckles on my thigh for less than two seconds when Gerard grabbed my arm and pulled me back, causing Mr. S to let go.  "All though I am glad to see you back in more feminine clothing... I don't think that's appropriate to wear to school again Elle."  He says with a stern voice and I look over at Gerard.

"Well I don't think it's appropriate for you to touch her." Gerard says and Mr. S looked over at him. I think this was the first time I saw Mr. S actually make eye contact with Gerard. Mr. S didn't say anything. He just looked at him and then at me.The tension was cut sharply by the sound of  the detention bell ringing. Mr. Bonner suddenly came down the hallway.

"Mr. Way aren't you supposed to be in detention." He calls out. Gerard frowns. Mr. S nodded at Mr. Bonner and then walked off without saying another word.

Gerard hands me a folded up piece of paper he pulls from his pocket. "Bring them home babe, I'll meet you after detention." He says to me...  He was talking to me! I smile a little as he walks away.

I open the paper as Frankie and Mikey and I walk down my block. It was the picture he was drawing in art class before. It was me. It was beautiful too. He loves me... And I love him...

We didn't even go inside my house. I kinda rushed Mikey and Frankie into the car. I wanted to drop them off and come back as soon as I could. Gerard said he was gonna meet me after detention. I can't screw this up...

I dropped them both off and drove back home. Fuck... Gerard didn't say where to meet him. At my house? At his house? Was I suppose to stay with Mikey and wait for him? No no no. He doesn't have his car. How's he gonna get home? Fuck... Stop thinking so much Elle...

I decided to leave my car at my house and walk back up to the gate. Detention hadn't let out yet and I figured if somehow if I missed him he'd see my car at my house and know I couldn't be too far away.

The bell finally rang and people started coming out and there he was. I wanted to run over and grab him and hug him and kiss him but I held myself back. I didn't want to scare him off. I know he's still kinda pissed and just cause he gave me a picture doesn't mean everything's okay... or does it?? Fuck.

He comes towards me and takes my hand and I smile as we start walking... Some how it reminded of that day... The day my papa died and he was walking me home for lunch... Maybe cause he was so close and so far from me all at the same time...

"I thought about what you said." He says softly squeezing my hand a little as we walked. "You're right I never told you the rules. You said relationships were too hard and I let you." He says not making much sense.

"Let me what?" I say confused.

"I let you think it was okay. That I was okay with some kinda casual thing," He says biting his lip a little. "But I'm not." He says and he stops walking. "I want you Elle." He says pulling me towards him, wrapping his arms around me. "I want all of you. I'm selfish." He laughs a little and I smile.

"Well that's what I want too" I say. "Well except I don't want myself... I want you." I giggle and he smiles.

"So you'll be my girl." He says leaning in and kissing my lips softly. "No games. No shit. You'll promise yourself to me and only me." He says and I nod as he kisses me again before letting go. He wraps his arm around my waist and we continue to walk down the block.

"You know its gonna be hard." He says and I nod a little. I wasn't really listening. He was going on about how relationships are hard and all this crap. I was just so happy to be close to him again. "I expect you to tell the truth all the time." He says to me.

"I know." I sigh. "So that's it." I say and he looks at me a little confused. "That's your only rule- truth?" I say and he smiles.

"well what do you want Elle?" He says as we approach my driveway. I stop walking and think for  a moment.

"Respect." I say nodding a little.

"You think I don't respect you?" He chuckles a little.

"I just want you to think about how I feel before you do things." I say shrugging a little. "Think about how it would make me feel." I say softly. I was talking about Jessica and he knew it. He walked back towards me and lifted my chin up and looked into my eyes.

"I promise I will never disrespect you Elle." He said sincerely too. "I never want to hurt you. I love you." He says staring deep into my eyes.

"I love you too." I say and he kisses me softly on the lips again. He went to pull away but I wouldn't let him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he grabbed my waist and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around him and he carried me up the steps our lips pressed together tightly.

I guess he wasn't looking where he was going cause he almost tripped going up the front steps to my house. He almost dropped me too.

"Fuck." He mumbled as he stumbled a little, then I hear the sound of glass shattering. He caught his balance and put me down.  I look over and there was a glass vase full of fresh flowers knocked over by the door. It had shattered into a million pieces. He must've knocked it over. It was a shame too. The flowers were so beautiful.

"Ohhh." I cry out going over and picking up the glass-covered flowers and shaking them off. He really does love me. I wonder when he did this... he was in detention, wasn't he?

"Sorry." He says with a strange tone to his voice. He was standing there watching me as I knelt on the floor.

"That's all right I can wash them off. I think I have another vase too." I say and he's looking at me weird. "I don't know how you knocked them over." I laugh.

"I didn't see them." He says wrinkling his eyebrows a little.

"Yeah but you knew they were there, you should've been more careful" I say and he shakes his head a little.

"Elle I didn't know they were there." He says frowning. I was so confused. "Those." He says motioning to the bunch of flowers I was holding..."Those aren't from me..."