FicWad

"No you're not gonna tell me what?" I say kinda loudly with out opening my eyes. I didn't move at all off of Gerard's lap.

"oh fuck." I hear Ray say under his breath a little. I guess they were surprised I was awake...

"You eavesdropping again?" I hear Gerard's voice say as he starts stroking my hair again. "I thought you learned your lesson last time baby." He says and I roll over and look up at him.

"And I thought you were gonna respect me." I say and he smiles a little. I still had my head on his lap. He reaches over and brushes the hair from my face. Ray reached over and raised the volume back up on the radio.

"I do Elle." Gerard says looking down affectionately at me.

"Then don't fucking keep things from me." I say realizing the irony in what I'm saying. I mean I didn't tell him what Crystal and Lia said yet... Fuck.. He's gonna freak out too...

"All right Elle." He sighs a little. "We umm went by your house after school." He starts and I cut him off.

"What for?" I yell out.

"You gonna let me talk or what sugar?" He teases me a little.

I smiled a little and he stroked my cheek gently. He was spacing out a little looking into my eyes.

"Well go on..." I exhale lightly.

"I changed your locks Elle." He says shrugging a little.

"And you weren't gonna tell me?" I laugh. "I think I might have noticed that Gerard." I smile. He smiles back. "So that's it?" I say and he ran his hand through his hair a little. "You know if you don't tell the whole truth it's considered a lie." I say teasing him slightly.

"Oh yeah?" He says running his hand along my stomach. I giggled a little. "Who told you that?" he says reaching over and smoothing out my skirt a little. I was still stretched out in the back seat with my head in his lap. My skirt had kinda run up again. He tugged it back down and looked me over adoringly.

"mmm some guy." I say softly as he slides his hand along my thigh up under my skirt. He was pretending like he was fixing my skirt but he was really just touching my legs. I smiled a little as his hand ran along my skin. It tickled slightly. Just enough to make me smile, but not enough to make me laugh.  He seemed to be enjoying watching my expression change as his hand moved further and further up my leg. Oh fuck..if he's thinks he's gonna distract me... "Wait." I say grabbing his hand and lifting it off of me. "That's it... that's all you have to say?" I ask him and gave me a look. A look like oh fuck now I've got to tell her... I raised my eyebrows slightly.

"Fine Elle..It's ummm." He exhaled a little and looked down at me. He reached over and started stroking my hair again softly. Like what he was gonna say was bad and he was trying to comfort me.

"It's what?" I say getting a little worried now. "Was there something wrong at my house?" I ask him raising my voice slightly. Frankie glanced over. Ray nudged him to turn back around. Oh fuck. This is not good...

"Naw baby. Everything was fine. Just the way you left it." He says and I frown.

"Then what the fuck is with all the looks?" I say as Ray glances over again. I went to sit up and Gerard kinda held me down.

"When we went to change the locks Elle..It looked like..." He paused and started stroking my hair again.

"Like?" I encourage him.

"Like someone had broken in to it...It was fucking busted." He says softly and I laugh a little sitting up and pulling away from him.

"That was Jay!"  I say laughing a little.

"What?" he replies.

I sigh a little. "It was Jay." I repeat. "He fucking popped the lock open that day Gerard, cause I didn't have my keys." I explain to him.

"No Elle you're not listening." He tells me and I roll my eyes a little. "Your lock was busted like the pin wasn't catching. It was broken." He says and I continue to smile.

"Yes because Jay fucking-" I say loudly and Ray interrupts.

"No Elle this wasn't just one time." He says and I frown. "The um door jam was all marked up." Ray says and I felt myself getting nauseous.

"What do you mean?" I ask him leaning forward a little. Gerard reached over and started rubbing my back.

"The pin was bent." Ray says plainly.

"What the fuck does that mean?" I say looking back at Gerard.

He sighed a little. "How long did it take Jay to pop the lock open Elle?" He asks me and I lean back and shut my eyes for a second.

"Like not that long." I say remembering back.

"That's cause the pin was bent." He says repeating what Ray just said. I looked at him confused still. "All you had to do baby was fucking stick a screwdriver or a knife in and it would pop right open." He says lowering his voice a little.

"And judging by the number of marks on the door jam someone's been doing that... a lot." Ray says as he pulls into my driveway.

My mind was swirling...a knife?... a lot?... I could feel myself going faint...

"Elle." Gerard grabbed me a little and shook me. I took a deep breath and nodded a little.

"I'm okay." I mumbled as they started to get out. I just sat there. A little in shock. A little afraid to go in...Fuck that's probably why he wasn't gonna tell me.. No...I can't be afraid... not of my own house...I wont be...

Gerard reached in and kinda lifted me out of the car.

"I changed the locks Elle." He tries to reassure me as we go up the steps. "Here." He says handing me a key ring. I look at it.

"Its only one set." I say dangling it a little in my fingers.

"I have the other one Elle." He tells me and I smile a little.

"That's a little presumptuous don't you think?" I say.

He kinda ignores me and keeps talking. "Rays got one and Bob too." He says and I shake my head a little.

"Why?" I say folding my arms.

"In case you get locked out." He tells me like I should've known that. I frown a little. "I don't want you fucking hiding your key under the plant or in a fucking squirrels nest anymore Elle" He tells me and I cant help but smile. "Its not funny." He scolds me. "Anyone could find it hidden like that, and use it to get in." He starts to yell at me as I try to fit the new key he gave me into the lock.

"Yeah but you said he wasn't using a key to get in." I say trying to turn the key into the new lock on my door. I must've been holding the key backwards or something cause it fit it just wouldn't turn. I pull it out and flip the key over. Now it didn't fit in at all. "What the fuck did you do?  This doesn't even work..." I mumble at him. Gerard sighed and took the key from me and easily stuck it in and it turned smoothly.

"You gotta push it in as you turn." He tells me holding the now unlocked door open for me. I look over at the door jam as I walk in. It was painted...yellow?...

"What the hell is that?" I say running my fingers along it.

"You'll be able to tell if anyone pries the door open now." Ray says and I roll my eyes. "The guy at the hardware store said..."

"Please...don't tell me." I say shaking my head at him.

"You'll be able to see a scratch mark right away on the yellow." Ray continues to explain.

"We put it on the doors and the windows."  Frankie cries out a little excitedly. I look over and notice some yellow paint on his shirt...

"Wait you painted?" I ask him and he smiles proudly...fuck...

"Yup." He declares. "So we'll know how he gets in..." Frankie tells me and I sigh.

"That's great...yellow paint huh?" I say sarcastically as we go into the living room. "So now when he comes in and fucking stabs me you'll know exactly how he got in." I say throwing myself onto the couch.

"Elle." Gerard says scolding me again.

"I'm sorry...I know." I say shutting my eyes a little. They were just trying to help. "This just changes everything." I say softly thinking a little. I felt someone sit down on the couch near my feet. I thought it was Gerard. I sat up and opened my eyes. It was Bob. I smiled a little at him.

"Tell him Elle." Bob nudges me a little. I shake my head no. He wanted me to tell Gerard about what Dave said... But Dave doesn't have a tattoo.. Neither does Jeff.

"Tell me what?" Gerard says lighting up a cigarette. I look around the room. Maire and Mikey were sitting on the loveseat. She had her math notebook out. Mikey seemed to be helping her. Frankie was going through the CDs on top of the TV. Ray had sat in the chair across the room.

"Nothing." I say and Bob stared at me. "Its not important anymore...fuck Bob." I say as he continued to stare at me.

"I'll tell him." He says and I jump up on to Bobs lap and cover his mouth with my hands.

"No!" I yell at him and Gerard frowns.

"What the fuck is going Elle?" He says stepping towards me.

"Elle thinks that Dave has something to do with this." Mikey says glancing up from his book.

"I do not!" I protest. Gerard just looked at me. "I mean I thought I did, but now I don't." I say pulling my hand from Bobs mouth.

"Why would you think Dave?" Gerard says taking a slow drag from his cigarette.

"He made a milk joke." Mikey blurts out and I give him a nasty stare.

"He what?" Gerard scoffs a little.

"Him and Jeff."  Mikey says and Gerard started getting upset.

"What?" He yells a little.

"Fuck Mikey."  I say and I toss the pillow on the couch at him. "It wasn't him okay." I say getting a little worked up myself.

"You said.." Bob starts.

"I changed my mind okay." I say loudly trying to wriggle off of Bobs lap.

"Calm down." Bob says and he squeezed me a little back on to him. He rubbed my arms a little and I leant back against him relaxing a bit. I was curled up on his lap. He hugged me a little.

"What exactly did he say Elle." Gerard mumbles a little pacing the living room floor cursing a little under his breath.

"Nothing. Its not them. Trust me." I sigh a little pressing my head against Bobs chest. I could hear his heart beating faintly. I pressed myself closer and I could hear it picking up a little. I shut my eyes and listened. I could hear Gerard still cursing under his breath. I started spacing out listening to Bobs heartbeat and ignoring Gerard's ranting.

"Elle." He yells loudly startling me. I lift my head up off of Bob and look over at him. "what the fuck did he say?" He tells me and I frown.

"I don't know." I whine. "It doesn't matter...neither one of them have a tattoo." I blurt out and Frankie laughs.

"A tattoo?" Ray says making a face at me.

"Lia said." I say and they all look at me. "aw fuck." I mumble. "Lia and Crystal went to a bunch of flower shops and they found a place who sold a glass vase to some guy." I tell them and Gerard frowned. "The lady told them he had a cross tattooed on his hand." I say and no one says anything.

"They called the florist shops?" Marie finally says and I nod. "Wow, that was pretty smart." She says and Mikey frowns.

"I would've called them too, but I was waiting for that suspects list from Elle." Mikey says glaring at me a little. Oooh. sorry Mikey. I guess he wanted to impress Marie with his detective skills...

"A tattoo cross?" Mikey said thinking a little out loud. "That's all she's got?" He asks me and I shrug.

"She said that umm he was like 20ish, kinda tall, athletic, had a tattoo of a cross on his hand, You'd really have to ask Crystal...she saw him." I mumble a little.

"Saw him where?" Mikey asks a little confused.

"At the club." I say and Bob flips out.

"When?" He yells.

"Yesterday, she said he came in looking for me." I say and Gerard looks over at Bob.

"Brian didn't say anything." Gerard says to Bob.

"She said Brian didn't see him." I sigh a little. "But he knows she was talking about me cause he mentioned the underwear I was wearing" I say lowering my voice a little.

"If Lia thinks that she and Crystal are going to..." Bob grumbles a little. "I told her the fucking perverts that go that club..." He tenses up a little. "That's why you shouldn't have been there Elle, especially dressed like that." He yells at me and I look down at the floor.

"It doesn't matter how I was dressed." I sigh a little.

"What exactly were you wearing babe?" Gerard asks me and I shrug.

"I'd show you Gerard but there gone." I say as my eyes well up with tears. "They were in my room and now there gone." I say softly looking down at my feet.

"You think..." I hear Marie say and Mikey hushed her.

"It doesn't even matter cause if he fucking saw me there, which he had to have, he didn't follow me from there... he followed me to there." I say and Ray kinda nods. I wiped my eyes a little...

"Its not much to go on but now at least you have something to work with Mikey." I tell him, teasing him a little. The tension in the room was getting to be too much for me... Mikey looked at me blankly. "You have a suspect now...you know anybody with a tattoo?" I ask and he shakes his head no. I look around at everyone. "Anyone?" I say.

"Just you Elle." Bob chuckles a little.

"You have a tattoo!" Frankie cries out and jumps over the coffee table coming towards me. "Let me see, let me see. Let me see." He carries on.

"Fuck off." I tell him and Bob snickers a little.

"Well just tell me where it is?" Frankie begs a little. I look at Gerard.

"Frankie." He tells him harshly.

"I just wanna know." Frankie whines.

I could feel my eyes welling up with tears. I still hadn't fully accepted what happened. Even thinking about it made my heart ache. I could still feel the needle poking me. Right into my heart. I shut my eyes for a second and tried to steady the emotions running through my head. Frankie kept carrying on.

"Fuck Frankie." Gerard yells at him. "Elle come here." He says pulling me up off of Bob and into his arms. He could see the hurt in my eyes. "Is that all she said?" he asks me and I go to shut my eyes. He touches my cheek and I flutter them back open quickly. "Yeah." I tell him and then it was silent... No one said anything..."Can I have some water?" I ask and Gerard nods a little.

"I'll get it." Bob says going into the kitchen. Gerard wiped my eyes and kissed my nose and I smiled a little. He smiled back.  "Elle come in here-' Bob called me from the kitchen.

Gerard followed me in. He kinda stood by the door and watched me as I went and took the glass of water from Bob by the sink.

"I'm sorry I said anything Elle." Bob kinda apologizes a little. "I didn't know you didn't want anyone to know about your tattoo." He says and I just stared at him.

"Aw honey its not that." I say and he frowns a little. "Its just umm.." I pause a little and look over at Gerard in the doorway. "Its just the tattoo is something new and I'm not really sure how to deal with it." I say taking another sip of the water. I better figure out how I'm gonna deal with too and soon. I mean I've been wearing things that kinda cover it. But a bathing suit wont. Neither will a dress... Fuck I'm gonna have to get a dress to wear for that dance Friday... Most formal dresses don't have high necks...  double fuck...

"Well why'd ya get it if you didn't want it?" Bob says smiling a little.

"I..." I bit my lip a little. Bob looked at me. I diverted my eyes away from him. "Brutus gave it to me." I say and I can see him tensing up out of the corner of my eye. I mean I could see the muscles in his neck and arms tighten.

"Before?" He says so low it was barely a whisper.

"After." I say looking over at Gerard. Bob nodded a little. Then he walked out the sliding doors with out saying another word. Gerard came towards me and hugged me a little. There was a loud crash outside. I went to look but Gerard pulled me closer to his chest.

"Just let him..." His voice trailed off and there was another loud crash. Sounded like Bob was beating the crap out of my lawn furniture.

"he's upset?" I ask and Gerard peeks out the window with out letting me go.

"Yeah of course." He sighs and pulls me closer. I shut my eyes and listened to him breathing. I hear him swallow. "He cares for you." He says and I sniffle a little trying to hold back my tears.

"Like you?" I ask and he pulls back a little confused. "He's my friend and look how upset he is." I say sniffling again. "What the hell did I do to you?" I say as the tears start falling from my eyes. "How much pain have I caused you?" I sobbed.

"Elle I'd gladly take your pain from you." He says softly pulling me closer. I felt myself melting in to him. "I'd give my life for you, you know that?" He says running his hand down my back slowly. I pressed myself against him. I was already so close. I just wanted to be closer. He held me as I sobbed into his chest.

"We're gonna take off man." I hear Ray say and I can feel Gerard nod I little. I didn't look up. I just kept my face buried into Gerard's chest.

"I'll call you later." I hear Gerard say to him as he stroked my hair delicately. There was some noise. I guess it was everyone leaving and then the house was silent. He stood there hugging me and stroking my hair until I stopped crying. It was still so early. Maybe 6 o'clock? I don't know. I was gonna ask Gerard but when I pulled back and looked up at him his lips crashed into mine.

I suddenly forgot what I wanted to ask him. I couldn't think of anything but his lips on mine. They way he tasted, they way he smelt. He pulled back to take a breath and I kinda broke out of my trance.

"Aw fuck. How you gonna get home now. They all left!" I cry out and he smiles.

"What makes you think I'm leaving?" He teases me.

"you just cant stay with me forever." I tell him and he smiles.

"Mmm watch me..."