FicWad

I look over at Mr. Samuel totally shocked... I just couldn't believe he was talking to me, especially after everything that happened in his office no less... And the last thing I expected was to see him here chaperoning... But yet there he was, standing a few feet away from Bob and I, talking to me like everything was normal...acting like nothing had happened... Like he didn't flip out and throw me and Gerard out of his office that day for no apparent reason ... It was weird...

And he had to see the confusion that was clearly plastered on my face. But like always, he chose to ignore it and keep on talking anyway...

"I'm glad to see you out having such a good time tonight Miss Waller. And I'm especially glad it's in the company of someone other than Mister Way." He chuckles.

"Excuse me?" I gasp totally taken aback. What was he trying to say? That Bob and I were what? ...acting too friendly? Did he seriously think that Bob and I were here together? That I'm no longer with Gerard? Is it any of his fucking business anyway? ...

He totally ignores me of course and keeps on talking.

"You know Elle, I was a bit worried when you didn't show up for school today." He continues on. I just looked at him a little unsteadily, not quite sure how to respond to that... I mean, did he know what happened with Will at the 7-11 this morning? No he couldn't possibly... or could he? ... fuck... "I suppose you drove up to visit your mom at the cemetery this morning?" Mr. S asks me when I didn't respond and I nod.

"Um yeah, yeah I did." I reply and I can feel the tears building up again as I remembered sitting on her cold grave... I could feel my heart literally tightening up inside my chest in pain... Fuck, don't do this Elle...just try to hold it together a little bit longer now...today is almost over... Do not fall apart...Especially not in front of /him/...

"I imagine it must've been hard for you." He says and I shrug a little... Of course it was hard... How could it not be hard for me visiting my mother's grave? I started getting a little angry. I mean what the fuck is wrong with him! Professional consular my ass! -I swear this guy must've got his diploma in the bottom of a crackerjack box or some shit....

"Would you like to talk about it dear?" He says and I shake my head no.

"What the fuck you gonna counsel me in the street now?!" I snap. I look over at Bob. He looked like he wanted to say something but he didn't want to interfere... And he didn't have to. I could handle Mr. Samuel myself, despite what Gerard thinks...

"Certainly not." Mr. Samuel replies with a hint of arrogance in his voice. "I was just wondering what you two were doing out here." He says trying to sound all official. "You do know that school policy prohibits loitering on the grounds; so I suggest you both get back inside and stay inside for the duration of the dance." He tells us and Bob snickers.

"Actually we were just leaving." I say and Mr. S frowns and looks down at his watch.

"The dance won't be over for another hour yet." He tells me and I shrug.

"Come on lets go." I say to Bob taking his hand back in mine as we step towards the gate.

"Elle you are certainly NOT going to be walking home are you?" Mr. Samuel calls out a little shocked and I turn and briefly look back at him -that was my first mistake...

"Well yeah, why not?" I ask -that was my second... and I immediately regretted it as he looks over me disapprovingly.

"You have no shoes on." He tells me pointing at my bare feet.

"So." I reply tossing my hands up, challenging his authority over me... and my feet.

"So I'm sorry I can not allow that." He says and I can see Bob about to lose it...

"Who are you to allow her?" Bob starts to yell and I grab his arm and tug it a little.

"Bob please." I say trying to calm him. Mr. S totally ignores him, exactly like he does to Gerard.

"Elle I can not allow you to walk home on the raw pavement like that, you are going to cut your feet up young lady." He declares. Bob opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off-

"I'm sorry are you like the fucking foot police now?" I snap at him.

"Elle." Mr. S scolds me with a tone that I hadn't heard in so long... A tone only a parent would use. I kinda froze up upon hearing it...

"I'll stay on the fucking grass." I reply a little thrown off. He frowns at my answer. I just stared defiantly back. I hate people telling me what to do...Especially people like him... People who think they can tell me what to do, just...just /because/...

"You know sometimes you can be just as stubborn as your mother I swear." He tells me sighing softly. I don't know if he knew how much that really hurt me... To hear him talk about her like that... To know that he knew her in ways that I never will...

"Please don't talk about my mother." I barely whispered, choking back my tears... He just looked at me. His eyes softened a little. I thought for a spilt second it looked like he was apologize, but he didn't. He just stood there looking like he had something to say but he wouldn't say it... And honestly, I was tired of asking...

I wrapped my arms around myself partly from the cold and partly to comfort myself. I felt Bobs hand on my shoulder. I turned and looked up at him. "Can we go I'm real cold." I say and Bob nods and rubs the side of my arms as he put his arm around me warming me slightly...

"Wait, at least take my coat Michelle." Mr. Samuel says as he goes to take off his blazer jacket and I could see Bob out of the corner of my eye tensing up.

"No!" I yell out sharply and Mr. S kinda froze. "I don't want your coat. I don't want your help. I don't want anything from you... except for you to just leave me the fuck alone." I say as brutally as I can.

"You know what...I was hoping we could talk tonight but since that’s not going to be possible I'm going to make you an appointment for Monday Elle." Mr. Samuel replies crossing his arms on his chest. I roll my eyes a little.

"Do you have to?" I say nastily.

"Well yes, I think we should talk alone on Monday." He says directing the alone part towards Bob... "And afterwards if you still feel that I can not help you I will recluse myself from your file." He says and I look at him a little untrustingly...

"You mean that?" I say stepping towards him slightly.

"Well of course." He tells me and I frown not really sure if I believed him. "That is unless you changed your mind and would prefer to go somewhere more private to talk right now dear..." He says lowering his voice down so low it was kinda scary.

And that was it! Bob totally lost it... Gerard would've been proud.

"What the fuck is wrong with you! She ain't going anywhere with you, you sick motherfucker." Bob yells as I desperately clung on to his arm as he stepped towards Mr. S.

Mr. Samuel just looked over at Bob in annoyance, which seemed to only enrage Bob more...

"Bob no!" I gasp holding on tightly to his arm...Fuck knows what he was gonna do...He had the same look on his face that he had that day in the club when he saw Brian 'tipping me'... "Bob please just stop!" I cry out pleading with him a little.

"Elle!" he says to me like he's warning me to stay out of it.

"Bob please don't do this, please just take me home." I whisper my voice trembling and he paused and looked at me and then at Mr. S and then back at me again and he kinda relaxed somewhat.

"All right lets go." He says reluctantly taking my hand in his and I pulled him towards the gate.

"I'll see you bright and early Monday morning Miss Waller." Mr. S calls out and Bobs grip tensed up a little but he didn't say anything until we were through the gate.

"Motherfucking bastard..." He grumbles looking back over his shoulder at Mr. Samuel. He was heading back into the gym.

"Come on Bob just stop." I say

"Elle what the fuck! He wants to give you his fucking coat?... Fucking take you off to god knows where to talk in the middle of the night!" He tells me and I shrug. I didn't know what to say. I don't know why Mr. S is the way he is...

"I guess he was trying to be nice." I offer, although I'm not quite sure why I'm defending him...

"Well you think that's 'appropriate'?" Bob laughs a little mockingly.

"Bob I really don't want to talk about him okay." I say a little frustrated... I was worried about Gerard.

Bob shrugged a little and pulled out a cigarette as we walked. He was kinda mumbling to himself as he tried to light it..."You'd think that after I fucking slashed his tires that he'd stay the fuck away from you..." He grumbles.

"Wait you what!-" I start to say.

"Aw shit." He groans realizing what he said.

"Bob are you saying that YOU did that!" I say getting all worked up. "You stole my book, you fucking-" I start to yell and he shakes his head no.

"I didn't steal your book Elle." He interrupts me. "Lia fucking saw it at your house and I guess she thought you got it for her and she took it with out saying anything." He says and I just looked at him... Well that made sense... Lia always takes crap like that with out asking...

"Yeah but-" I go to say but he keeps talking.

"So she gave it to me to give back to you that day and when I got to school Gerard was telling me about what happened in Dunkin Donuts that morning and I figured I'd just uh, give the book back to Mr. Ass with a message." He says grinning a little as we approached my house.

"Bob!" I say a little shocked. He shrugged. "Wait did you tell Gerard this?" I asked him as I rubbed the side of my head. I suddenly got such a bad headache it was unreal.

"Yeah afterwards." He sighs as we went up the steps. "I figured they were gonna blame him, but he was with you and Ray so..." He shrugs.

"But you did tell Gerard this?" I repeat as I tried to unlock the door... I was a little upset cause Gerard didn't tell me...and he said he wouldn't keep things from me...

"Yeah like the next day." He says and I frown fidgeting with the key. I couldn't get the door unlocked. No matter which way I twisted it, it wouldn't open.... Fuck... why didn't Gerard tell me it was Bob who did that... He knew I was seriously freaked... "I told him not to tell you Elle." Bob says like he was reading my mind. "I didn't want you to have to lie for me you know." He says and I sigh a little stepping back from the door.

"Bob you shouldn't have done that." I say and he shrugs.

"He shouldn't be fucking all over you." He replies like it was justified. "I'm telling you Elle, there's something about him I just don't like." He says and I start feeling nauseous...

"That's what you said about Will." I say softly as Bob reaches over and twists my key a little, easily unlocking the door. He looked back at me, but didn't say anything. He just held the door open as I went in.

As soon as he shut the door behind him I turned and kinda collapsed into his arms. "Fuck Bob where's Gerard?" I say choking on my tears again.

"Elle you know where he is." Bob says softly as he hugs me close to him.

"I know I know where he is." I say a little flustered. "I mean why isn't he here with me?" I say and a few tears roll down my cheek silently. "why is he with her?" I whisper.

"Elle." Bob sighs a little.

"He promised me I wouldn't be alone tonight." I sniffle.

"And you're not." Bob says as he rubbed my back.

"I told him I was gonna fucking end up crying myself to sleep all alone again." I start to sob.

"You wont." Bob says wiping the tears on my cheeks away.

"I will." I say looking up at him with a tear-streaked face. "I can't stop myself from crying." I say as a few more tears roll down my cheek.

"Well maybe so... but you wont be alone." He tells me firmly lifting my chin up and looking in my eyes affectionately.

"You'll stay with me?" I ask and he smiles.

"Of course honey, as long as you need me I'll be here." He says and I smile as he kisses my forehead. "Why don't you um go get ready for bed huh?" He says and I just held on to his waist. Afraid to let him go... Afraid to be alone...

He pried my arms off him gently. "Go head Elle." He says softly. "I'll bring you something hot to drink in bed okay?" He says and I nod as he kinda pushes me down the hall towards my room.

I stopped in the bathroom and washed my face and took a few aspirin from the medicine cabinet before heading into my room.

I slipped on a pair of terry cloth short shorts and pulled the dress off over my head. I knelt down in front of my dresser and opened the bottom drawer and pulled a tank top out. I was slipping it over my head when I heard a noise behind me. As I pulled it down I looked over at Bob who was now behind me in the doorway holding a cup of something.

I don't know how much of me changing he saw, but he didn't say anything so neither did I...

"Umm here." He stammers holding out the cup towards me.

"You could put it there." I say nodding towards the nightstand. He nods a little and puts it down and then just stands there uncomfortably..."Are you okay?" I ask him.

"Uh yeah" He says fidgeting with the button on his shirt collar.

"Oh yeah!" I cry out remembering. "I still have your shirt you leant me that day you wanna change?" I say opening my drawer and bending over and digging through it a little.

"Naw Elle I'm okay." He says and I shake my head no as I pull it out.

"No you got punch all over you still." I tell him and I suddenly remember. "Oh fuck Bob you left Julia!" I cry out. "You totally ditched her!" I panic.

"Its all right Elle, I told Mikey to have Ray and Laura bring her home." He says like it was no big deal.

"Oh my god!" I sigh covering my face with my hands. "I totally ruined your night Bob." I say disgusted with myself.

"No you didn't." He says but I know he didn't mean it.

"Come on Bob." I say a little frustrated. "I know you'd much rather be off with Julia somewhere then here alone with me in my room." I say and he smiles.

"Now that's not true Elle." He says as I toss him his shirt.

"Liar!" I say and I cant help but smile as I wave my finger scolding him a little. He holds the t-shirt up like he's debating whether or not to put it on. "Bob please don't piss me off, just put it on." I tell him and he sighs a little defeated and starts unbuttoning his dress shirt. "Gimme it, I'll put it in the wash." I say taking it from him once he took it off. He held the t-shirt up and kinda sniffed it before he pulled it over his head. He saw that I saw him do it too. "What?" I ask and he kinda blushed. I just looked at him.

"Nothing, it just smells like you." He says lowering his voice down.

"Sorry." I tease him and he smiles. "Come on." I say climbing up onto my bed and pulling the covers back for him. He just looked at me a little wide-eyed.

"Uh no Elle, Gerard will be back any minute." He says and I shrug.

"Yeah so?" I say and he frowns.

"So he... I just... no..." He stammers.

"Bob you said-"I start to whine. He reaches over and pulls my vanity tables stool over next to the bed and sits on it.

"Here come on lay down okay." He says forcing me down and covering me with the blanket...

"Bob please." I argue and he reaches over and shuts my lamp off. The soft glow of my nightlight filled the room. It flickered a little like the bulb was going to burn out but it didn't... I sat up a little and looked over at it. Bob pushed me back down.

"Shh try to sleep." He says brushing the hair from my face as the light flickered again.

"Come on Bob this is stupid just lay with me." I say grabbing his hand off my face and squeezing it a little.

"No." He says plainly as the nightlights bulb continued to flicker menacingly...

"Why?" I whine.

"Cause." He replies.

"Cause why?" I moan.

"Just cause! -Elle come on now." He says a little frustrated. "Gerard will be back any second okay." He tells me and I glance over at the clock. It was after 10. The dance was over now...

"Fuck Bob you should've went with him." I say panicking a little. Trying to subtract the time in my head and figure out how long he's been gone...

"He'll be all right." Bob says and I shake my head no.

"Paul's gonna kill him." I sniffle a little.

"Elle." Bob chuckles.

"No Bob I'm serious you don't know him." I say pressing my palms on my forehead wishing I could undo time and force Bob to go with him...

"Gerard can take care of himself Elle." Bob tries to reassure me.

"Look Bob I know you don't know Paul cause you're new and all...but fuck.." I mumble. "Paul didn't get his reputation for nothing." I say and Bob kinda shrugs. "No I'm serious he's not just gonna..." I sniffle a little again and squeeze my eyes shut.

"Elle Mikey went-" He starts to say and I laugh.

"Mikey!" I cry out and Bob kinda smiles. "Fuck! Mikey!" I say shaking my head a little...Mikey was gonna get hurt too now, thanks to me... "I should've made you go with him." I sigh a little throwing my head back on to the pillow as the nightlight burnt out... It was pitch black all of a sudden. I screamed a little and grabbed Bob's hand desperately.

"Its all right, it just burnt out." He says soothingly as I gripped his hand. He reached over and started tucking me back in with his other hand...

"Oh Bob." I sighed sadly.

"What is it honey?" Bob says softly and I just started pouring my heart out to him in the dark... I don't know why...It was just so easy... maybe cause it was dark... maybe it was cause it was me and him all alone... maybe it was both... I don't know...

I started telling him how I freaked out when I heard the sound of Paul slapping Jessica... How it brought me back to that day with Brutus... I told him things about that day, Things that I've never told anyone else except Gerard... He didn't say anything... I mean what could he say... He just let me cry to him...And cry I did.

I cried about that day... about my mom... about my papa... about how hurt I was from everything... And even though I knew it wasn't fair to burden him like that, I mean husband or not -it wasn't fair, but I did it anyway...I was just so tired of carrying so much pain around... And he was so willing to listen...

The only time he spoke up was when I started saying how horrible I was for being jealous that Gerard was off saving Jessica... He said I was being to hard on myself. But seriously what kind of fucked up person am I.... My jealously is gonna kill me one day... That I'm sure of...

I glance over at the clock... It was after midnight...today was over... I made it through the day, completely sober no less... But Gerard still wasn't back yet and I was so worried still... Bob was stroking my hair a little, whispering to me that things were gonna be okay...that he knew I could get through this...that he had faith in me... I was so glad he was here with me, and I told him that too...

And the last thing I heard as I fell asleep was his voice saying that he was glad he was with me too and that he was never gonna leave me... not as long as I needed him... He stroked my hand in his and kissed the back of it gently as I drifted off to sleep...I think he might've said goodnight too as he stood up but I cant be sure...

I was just so spent... so emotionally and physically spent from today, that I fell into such a deep sleep...And so fast too....which I've never done before...

When suddenly I felt someone's lips pressing down onto my own... softly at first... and I kinda started to wake back up as they pressed harder and the kiss became so much more intense as they leant over the bed on top of me...

"Oh Bob..." I moaned into their mouth and they abruptly pulled away...suddenly the light flicked on blinding me...

And that's when I saw the lips that I was just kissing... so passionately too...

They weren't Bob's... they were...