FicWad

The rest of the day kinda flew by. Gerard and I ended up taking the kids to the park and then they were hungry again so we stopped for pizza. We were almost home, well almost half way back to Pauls house, that is when Gerard suggested we stop and rent some movies. So it was pretty late when we got back…

Paul still wasn’t home. I wasn’t surprised. I mean he did say he was going out. I guess he was gonna stay at Mikes… And I was glad. I mean it was just better that way. I mean seriously. Him, me, and Gerard… There's no way that will end well…

“Come on guys you wanna watch a movie before bed?” I ask as we go into the house and the boys nod eagerly. ‘Well which one you wanna watch the cartoon or the one with the talking animals?” I ask.

“Cartoon.” Bobby says.

“Animals.” Billy insists.

“Gerard?” I ask hoping he’ll break the tie.

“I don’t care Elle.” He says and I make a face. “As long as I'm sitting next to you.” He whispers in my ears as he takes both movies from me and I blush slightly. “All right boys pick a hand.” He says loudly putting both movies behind his back. The boys debated for a while.

“I'm gonna go make some popcorn while you guys decide.” I say heading to the kitchen and Gerard winks at me as I walk out… What the fuck is up with him tonight? Winking at me? He never does that…

“You need help?” I ask him as I came back in with the bowl of popcorn and saw that the movie still wasn’t playing yet. He was just fussing with the TV trying to get the movie to play. The boys were sitting on the floor watching him press the buttons and not saying anything. I mean they didn’t know how the fucking thing worked… I didn’t even know how the thing worked!

“Naw I got it love.” Gerard says and I shrug and sit down on the couch. Finally the movie comes onto the screen and Gerard looks over his shoulder and smiles at me proudly.

“Come.” I say patting the spot next to me on the couch and Gerard smiles as he sits next to me. He leans over and kisses my cheek lightly and goes to wrap his arm around me when Bobby stands up.

“You forgot the light.” He says to Gerard.

“Oh.” Gerard says and he gets up and goes over to the wall switch to turn it off. Well, as soon as he stood up and had his back turned to us; Bobby jumped up onto the couch and took Gerard’s spot next to me, curling up in a little ball and resting his head on my lap.

Gerard came back to the couch and looked down at Bobby in his spot and wrinkled his eyebrows a little. He then looked at me and I just shrugged. I mean really now, what did he want me to do -ask the kid to move? Break his little heart? I think not. Gerard kinda smiled and shook his head a little as he sat down on the opposite side of Bobby. I know that killed him. He wanted to sit next to me. I knew it. And Bobby knew it too…

It didn’t really matter though. I mean Bobby had fallen asleep not even halfway into the movie… Billy too. Gerard went to pick Bobby up off the couch and I stopped him. I mean could you imagine what would’ve happened if Bobby woke up in Gerard’s arms as he carried him up the stairs?

So I ended up carrying Bobby up to bed and fuck… that little kid was heavier then he looked… Or maybe I was just tired, but I swear that staircase had more steps on it then it did before…

Once I had both the kids securely tucked in their beds, and their nightlights on I made my way back downstairs. Gerard was cleaning up the popcorn mess I left in the kitchen.

“You don’t have to do that.” I tell him as I walk in.

“That’s all right. I'm done.” He says shutting the sink water off. “You put the kids to bed?” He asks turning and leaning against the counter. I just stared at him and didn’t answer. “Elle?” He says snapping me back to reality once again.

“Uh yeah.” I say and he smiled a little at me.

“Come here baby.” He says holding his arms open a little and as I stepped towards him he pulled me into a hug. I leant my head against his chest and he stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head. “What is it Elle?” He says and I sigh.

“Nothing.” I tell him and he laughs. “I was just thinking.” I say softly shutting my eyes for a second.

“Yeah me too.” I hear him say and I nod. It was silent for a moment…

“Elle I have to tell you something.” Gerard suddenly says seemingly coming out of nowhere. He had a strange tone to his voice. It startled me. I pulled back and looked up into his eyes.

“What is it?” I say a little scared. I mean I had never heard him use that tone before. It was weak and vulnerable and I don’t know…. it was kinda like the one Paul used before…

“When we first got here…” Gerard started to say and then it looked like he changed his mind.

“What?” I encourage him.

“Never mind.” He says and I frown.

“Tell me.” I say and he just looked at me. “Please Gerard.” I say softly begging him with my eyes.

“Fuck it.” He says looking up at the ceiling for a second before turning his eyes back to me. “When we got here and you said you take it back-“ Gerard tells me and I frown.

“I didn’t mean it. I mean I did mean it but I didn’t mean-“ I start to babble and he shakes his head no.

“No I understand, believe me.” He says and I pout and he smiles as he runs his thumb along my lip. “I just.” He sighs.

“You just what?” I ask.

“When you first said it I thought you were taking back ‘I love you’.” He says and I make a face.

“What?” I say totally confused.

“You said –I love you too and then you said – I take it back.” Gerard tells me and I smile.

“Gerard.” I nudge him. “You're kidding!” I laugh.

“I know its stupid Elle.” He sighs a little embarrassed. “But in that one second I felt like maybe… I don’t know.” He shrugs.

“What?” I say encouraging him.

“Like maybe this was all some big joke or something.I mean me and you, and you know coming here, it just screamed set up” Gerard says and I can’t help but roll my eyes. “I know it was fucking stupid Elle.” Gerard says looking down at the floor.

“You're damn right it was stupid.” I tell him nudging him again. I mean really! What is wrong with him? Thinking our whole relationship was one big joke! A set-up even?!

“I know that you would never…” His voice trailed off a little and I frowned a little watching him struggle with his emotions. “And it’s just I know…” Gerard just stopped talking and looked at me. I reached up and ran my hand down his cheek and pulled my thumb across his bottom lip like he does to me and he kinda smiled. “I guess I'm trying to say I'm sorry Elle.” He says and I smile.

“Sorry for what?” I say as he wraps his arms around my waist.

“For doubting you. For even one second.” He says his voice filled with hurt. “Especially cause I know that you never…” He starts to say and I look away guiltily.

“Don’t Gerard.” I interrupt him and he frowns. “Please.” I say my voice shaking a little.

“Elle.” He says softly. I guess thinking his words were upsetting me and they were, just not for the reason that he thought…

“Don’t say things like that.” I tell him lowering my voice down.

“Why?” He asks me.

“Cause they're not true.” I say looking up and my eyes lock with his.

“Elle.” He kinda laughs.

“No I'm serious Gerard, you think I've never doubted you.” I say and he kinda frowned.

“Elle I asked you the other day when you took my ring.” He says holding my hand up and I nodded. “I asked if you had any doubts and you said no.” He says looking at me distrustfully.

“And I don’t Gerard.” I say squeezing his hand in mine. “I mean stupid doubts… fears, you know.” I say and he just looked at me. “Bob says I'm being silly.” I tell him and he makes a face.

“You talked about this with Bob?” Gerard asks me.

“Uh kinda.I mean he is my best friend.” I say and Gerard half smiles.

“Well what did your ‘best friend’ say?” Gerard says pushing the hair from my face.

“Besides that I'm nuts?” I say and Gerard laughs. “I don’t know.” I shrug. “I think maybe everyone kinda feels like that at one point or another.” I tell Gerard and he doesn’t answer me. Just kinda stared off past me. “I mean I guess its natural you know? to be afraid.” I tell him and he sighs and lifts my chin up so I'm looking right into his eyes.

“Is this what you want Elle?” He asks me, catching me off guard.

“To be afraid?” I ask confused.

“No this.” He says nodding towards the ceiling. He meant Bobby and Billy. He meant kids. He meant a house with him… he meant a…

“A family?” I ask and he nodded. “Yeah I do Gerard more than anything.” I say my eyes welling up with tears a little.

“With me?” He whispers as he pulled my face closer to his.

“There's no one else I’d rather it be.” I say and he smiles as his lips press into mine. He ran his tongue along my lip and I opened my mouth willingly for him but he pulled away startling me. Putting doubt in my mind suddenly… “You don’t want this?…” I ask my heart tightening up in anticipation of his answer.

“Promise me.” He says looking deep into my eyes.

“What?” I ask confused again.

“Promise me that we will have this Elle.” He says his voice filled with need again. I just stared at him a little dumbstruck. “Promise me we WILL have this one day.” Gerard repeats.

“I promise Gerard.” I tell him keeping my eyes locked on his. “I will have your baby Gerard. I promise you that.” I say and he smiles.

“Mmm when?” He asks pulling me closer.

“Uh… six years from now.” I say and he laughs.

“Six years?” He repeats back and I smile.

“Well yeah, six is my lucky number.” I tell him and he chuckles.

“Aw baby.” He says kissing my forehead. “Bob’s right, you are nuts.” He says and I swat at him.

“I am not.” I try not to laugh. “Six is my number Gerard.” I insist. “In six years we’ll have a kid.” I repeat and he smiles. “Well what's your lucky number?” I ask and he pauses a moment.

“Two.” He says and I know he's lying. I mean first of all he doesn’t believe in luck or karma or anything like that… I think he just wants us to have a kid in two years…

“Okay then its decided -in six years we’ll have two kids.” I say and he laughs. “What Gerard?its just good karma.” I tease him.

“Elle are you telling me all our life’s decisions are gonna be ruled by karma and lucky numbers?” Gerard says and I smile.

“Well yeah.” I tell him and he laughs again. “Well what's wrong with that?” I ask nudging him again. He smiled at my seriousness.

“Nothing Elle.” He says mockingly and I try to frown but I can’t… All I could do is smile back at him.

“Well you have a better idea?” I ask.

“Uh why don’t we just do rock, paper, scissors huh? Any time anything important comes up!” He laughs.

“I can't do that Gerard.” I say and he nods like of course not.

“No cause that’d be ridiculous.” He says and I shake my head no.

“No cause I always pick scissors.” I tell him and he grinned widely.

“You usually pick scissors? Me too.” He says and I shake my head no.

“No I mean I always pick scissors.” I say as he stared at me curiously. “I ONLY pick scissors.” I clarify and he smiles.

“Why?” He asks.

“I don’t know.” I tell him. “I just cant help it.” I say as he continued to smile.

“Come on.” He says shaking his hand like he wanted to play. “Ready?” He says and I panic.

“No!” I say as he started to count.

“One…two…” He says and on three I make the scissor symbol and he laughs smashing my fingers lightly with his ‘rock’ fist. “Again.” He says and again I protest, but we play again with the same results.

“Gerard please.” I giggle as he forces me to play yet again.

“Well stop making scissors.” He laughs and I do too.

“I can’t help myself. Oww” I cry out as he smashes my poor scissors again.

“Come here Elle.” He laughs pulling me into his arms again. We were still in the kitchen. Leaning against the counter. He pulled me into his kiss again, but this time when I opened my mouth he found his way in. And he also found his way up my shirt slightly too…

“So what do you want to do now?” I tease stepping back from him. I mean I can see the lust in his eye. I can practically feel it coming off him…

“Well, lets see. The kids are in bed.” He says stepping towards me as I step back again. “Uh the kitchens clean.” He says advancing again.

“Uh-huh.” I reply backing away slowly.

“I think if we put our bodies together we can think of something.” He licks his lips a little looking me over and I smile.

"Isn't it heads?" I ask.

"What?" he says pulling me into his arms again and running his hands up the back of my shirt, trying to unhook my bra.

"Put our heads together?" I try to correct him. "Isn't that the expression?" I ask and he doesn't answer me. "Head. Not body." I repeat. "Isn't that what you want- ed -oh god." I moan as he bites down on my neck and I lose my train of thought.

"No Elle...I'm pretty sure I want your body..."