FicWad

So I put the kids booster seats in to my truck and we drove over to IHOP. Well Gerard drove but I didn’t care. I was too hungry to complain.

The hostess lady sat us in a booth kinda towards the back. Bobby insisted on sitting next to me, so we sat on one side and Gerard and Billy sat across from us. Bobby wouldn’t look at Gerard. Wouldn’t speak to him… not at all. It was kinda cute too cause Gerard was trying so hard.

“Whatcha drawing there Bobby?” Gerard leans over to see what Bobby’s scribbling on the back of his menu placemat. Bobby didn’t answer him.

“Bobby.” I nudge him. “Gerard's talking to you honey.” I say and Bobby reluctantly looks up at him.

“What is it?” Gerard repeats.

“A picture.” Bobby replies dryly.

“Oh.” Gerard says and I smile. He shrugs his shoulders at me a little defeated. “Well what are you drawing Billy?” Gerard asks turning his attention to the boy next to him.

“Wolverine.” Billy tells him and Gerard nods approvingly.

“Mine is wolverine too.” Bobby says and Billy frowns.

“No it’s not.” Billy tells his brother.

“Is to.” Bobby replies.

“Its just scribbles.” Billy says harshly and Bobby frowns now too.

“All right now.” I tell them. “You can both draw the same thing.” I say and Gerard picks up one of Bobbys crayons.

“I can draw Wolverine too you know.” Gerard says and Billy looks over at him skeptically.

“You know who wolverine is?” Billy asks in disbelief.

“Of course.” Gerard replies and they start talking about all this crap I didn’t understand. Comparing superhero powers and crap. I just absentmindedly stirred my coffee cup and stared over at Gerard and Billy…Gerard was showing him how to sketch something on the back of his menu now… Fuck. He was gonna make a great father one day. He was really good with kids that was for sure. I mean this is what I wanted. This was the family that I always wanted… And one day I was gonna have it. I just know it…

“Elle.” Bobby whines tugging on my shirtsleeve snapping me out of my daydreams.

“What is it?” I ask as I look over at him. He was holding his paper up for me.

“I'm done.” He tells me proudly as I take it from him and look it over.

“Oh it’s very nice Bobby.” I compliment him and go to hand it back to him.

“It’s for you.” He says and I smile appreciatively.

“Why thank you.” I say not sure of what to do with it. I mean it was a placemat for Christ sakes. And he fucking scribbled all over it.

“Mine is for you too.” Billy says forcing his ‘masterpiece’ across the table towards me.

“Oh okay.” I say a little surprised as I pick it up.

“And mine.” Gerard adds holding his placemat out towards me. I guess he wasn’t gonna be out gifted by some kids.

“Gee thanks.” I say and he smiles at me and I cant help but smile back.

All of a sudden I look up and Mikey is standing in front of our table.

“Mikey?” Gerard says just as surprised as I was. “what are you-I mean is everything okay?“ He starts to say and as Frankie and Chrissy and Bob come up behind them.

“Chill, we just came to eat.” Frankie laughs.

“Eat?” Gerard replies. “I thought you guys went to eat like two hours ago!” Gerard laughs and Bob shakes his head no.

“Hey can we sit here instead?” Frankie says as he pointed to the freestanding table a few feet away from us and the hostess lady just shrugged.

“If you want.” She says and Frankie quickly grabs the table and starts to slide it up against the booth. “Oh okay.” The lady says nervously caught off guard. I guess she wasn’t expecting that! Fuck,no one was. The table let out a horrible screech as Frankie slid it over. Bobby covered his ears and squeezed his eyes shut as Frankie kinda pinned us in. I mean I was already kinda pinned it since I was against the wall and Bobby was to the left of me. Gerard was across from me, and Billy was across from Bobby. But now Frankie fucking slid their table against our booth permanently blocking us in.

“So how did we end up beating you guys here?” I ask Bob and he smiles. “I mean I figured you guys would’ve been long gone by now.” I laugh and Bob makes a face.

“An hour and forty five minutes Elle.” Bob says and I smile.

“What?” Gerard says a little confused.

“Chrissy’s shower was an hour and forty five minutes.” Bob repeats and Gerard laughs as he looks over at Chrissy.

“That’s just as long as it takes!” Chrissy squeals a little as she sat down. Frankie had sat in the seat he pulled up next to Billy. Chrissy had sat next to Frankie… Mikey sat across from her. Which put Bob next to Bobby… “Am I right Elle?” Chrissy asks leaning over looking down the table at me.

“Uh.” I kinda laugh nervously.

“How long did it take you to get ready today Elle?” Chrissy insists. “Seriously now.” She tells me

“Like five minutes?” I say and she rolls her eyes at me.

“And you look just as pretty honey.” Bob says and Mikey starts coughing loudly glaring at Bob slightly.

“You need some water there Mikey?” I yell over at him. Mikey shakes his head no as the waitress approached.

“Well we already ordered so go head-“ I tell Bob and he nods and they place their orders. We all kinda just had pointless conversation until the food came.

“Aw I'm fucking starving here!” Frankie cries out as the waitress approaches with some trays.

“Frankie!” I scold him… Fuck. I had already warned him twice about his fucking mouth. Cursing in front of these kids… What the fuck is wrong with him?

“Uh sorry.” He says and Billy grins looking up at him. Billy seemed to like Frankie. Even more then he liked Gerard… Bobby… well, Bobby still wasn’t talking to anybody but me.

“You want me to cut that up for you buddy.” Gerard says as the waitress puts a big plate of chocolate chip pancakes down in front of Bobby.

“No I want Elle to.” Bobby says and Gerard frowns.

“Ooooh burn!” Frankie laughs so Billy does too. Chrissy just giggled.

“Stop it.” I tell Frankie and he snickers. Billy does too. I roll my eyes a little and try not to smile. Billy was totally mimicking Frankie now. I mean every little movement, every little sound. It was priceless…

Frankie picked up his napkin and tucked it in to the front of his shirt like a bib so Billy did the same. Frankie then picked up the syrup and poured it circles around his plate. Billy watched him intently and then did the same. The funniest part was Frankie didn’t seem to notice this. I guess cause he was starving he was oblivious to everything else.

“Hey pass me the jelly Gerard.” Frankie calls out and Gerard looks up from his dish.

“Huh?” Gerard says glancing over at him.

“I want the jelly too.” Billy chimes in and Gerard just looked at the jars at the end of the table.

“Come on motherfucker.” Frankie says impatiently and I shoot him a nasty look. “Oh shit I'm sorry.” Frankie says and I widen my eyes more at him. “Oh fuck I did it again!” He laughs hitting himself in the head and Billy laughs and then hits himself too.

“One more time Frankie.” I say waving my butter knife in his direction. “One more time and I'm gonna stab you.” I threaten him and he smiles. Billy looked over at me nervously and then at Frankie. When he saw Frankie smiling he did too…

“I promise no more.” Frankie says and he pretends to zip his lips shut. “Not another fucking word.” He blurts out and everyone laughed.

“Frankie! Up. now…” I say trying to get up. I mean I wasn’t gonna stab him. Just maybe drag him to the corner and yell at him, but I couldn’t…I was blocked in the booth. I kinda picked Bobby up onto my lap to slide him over so I could squeeze out and Frankie jumped up.

“No Elle don’t!!. I’ll do it myself!” Frankie cries out standing up and grabbing his butter knife from the table. He pretended like he was pressing the knife into his heart moaning quite loud. He was being so dramatic and causing such a scene, that half the restaurant was looking at him. I guess he picked up the jelly too at some point cause all of a sudden a ton of red jelly squirted all over the table as he withered over in ‘pain’ pretending to die as he hunched forward onto the table.

Billy just thought it was hysterical. Bobby screamed and buried his face into my chest and started to cry.

“Frankie!” Gerard yells out a little upset. But I don’t know if it was cause Bobby was crying or cause the jelly had spattered all over him as well as Billy.

“Aw, I'm just kidding around little dude.” Frankie tries to apologize to Bobby but Bobby just screamed louder as Frankie reached for him.

“Just leave him alone.” I say shaking my head a little as Bobby gripped me tighter.

“Bob doesn’t like anyone but Elle.” Billy tells Frankie and Mikey laughs sharply.

“HA!” Mikey cries out and Chrissy giggled and covered her mouth a little.

“Bobby look.” Billy says as he picks up his knife and holds it up to his chest like Frankie did. He was two seconds from plunging it into his chest when I screamed out.

“No Billy!” I cry out sharply totally panic stricken.

“Fuck!” Gerard mutters as he grabbed the knife from Billy’s little hands. “Damn it Frankie.” Gerard says getting worked up himself. This just made Bobby cry harder. Bob reached over and rubbed Bobby’s back as he sobbed into my chest.

“Frankie was just kidding around.” Bob tries to tell him. “He's a bad, bad, bad man.” Bob says softly as Bobby sniffled.

“Dude! I was just kidding!” Frankie protests and I glare at him.

“You want some candy Bobby?” Chrissy asks reaching for her purse.

“Just stop! Everyone stop!” I kinda yell getting all flustered.

“Okay, okay come on. “ Gerard says as he pushed Billy out of the booth. Fuck. Billy had jelly smeared on his shirt and his face and some in his hair now. I mean Frankie didn’t make that big of a mess but Billy being just a kid and all stuck his hand in the jelly on the table and somehow managed to touch everything with in his reach with in seconds. “Come on let’s go wash off.” Gerard sighs as he took Billy’s hand.

“You too Frankie.” I tell him waving my finger at him.

“Yes mommy.” Frankie moans hanging his head down a little as he followed Gerard and Billy.

I shook my head a little as they walked off. So much for the perfect family…