FicWad

I mean what the fuck was I thinking? Gerard and Paul just had it out last night. You could still see a faint bruise under Gerard's perfect eye… I swear I must be the stupidest person on the face of the earth… Why the fuck would Gerard agree to come here with me?

“I love you Elle.” Gerard says to me out of nowhere. It was weird. Like he answered the question I never even asked out loud.

“I love you too.” I reply and he smiles. That’s why he's here… Cause he loves me. Cause he wouldn’t let me come here alone. Cause he's trying… Oh fuck… “Gerard I take it back.” I blurt out and his face drops a little.

“You what?” He says.

“What I said before I take it back.” I start to panic. This was a bad idea coming here… I just know it…

“What?” Gerard says his jaw dropping a little.

“Try.” I cry out as I hear someone fidgeting with the lock from the inside. “Fucking promise me you’ll try.” I say punching his arm roughly to show him how serious I was.

“Try what?” He says rubbing his shoulder where I had just hit him as the doorknob starts to turn slowly. “What are you talking about baby?” He asks me. What am I talking about? Is he kidding?

“Promise me you’ll STAY CALM!” I hiss at him and he smiles. I mean here I am freaking out telling HIM to stay calm.

“Elle really.” He laughs. “How old are these kids again?” He asks.

“Bobby is 4 and Billy’s 6.” I tell him and he nods. “But you know what Gerard maybe we should go-“ I start to say as the door swings open. Fuck. I was gonna say this was a bad idea and we should just leave…that I’ll call Jen and give her some bullshit excuse… But it was too late. Someone had opened the door it was- “Billy!” I say looking down at him.

“Elle!” Billy cries out and jumps up into my arms.

“Oh easy now Billy.” I say kissing his cheek as he went to wrap his greasy little hands around me. “Whoa!” I tell him grabbing his small hand in mine. “What’s this?” I say holding his chocolate covered hands up.

“Choc-late.” He grins and I smile. I glance over and Gerard's smiling too. “Paul gave it to me.” He says and I laugh.

“Well we’ll just have to thank Paul for that.” I say rolling my eyes a little. I mean chocolate? Really? This early in the morning? He knows fucking chocolate winds these kids up… I'm gonna kick his ass. “This is my friend Gerard.” I say and Gerard holds out his hand to Billy.

“Like in your story.” Billy says looking him over. Gerard was giving me a funny look but I ignored him.

“Uh-huh.” I say and Billy reaches his slimey chocolate covered hand towards Gerard. I kinda expected Gerard to pull away but he didn’t… He kinda shook it and then wiped it on his pants and I smiled. Fuck I love him so much…

“I thought I told you to you're not allowed to open the front door Billy.” Jen yells out sharply as she stepped into the hallway. “Oh Elle.” She says noticing me. “You're here.” She announces.

“Yeah.” I say as we stepped inside. Gerard shut the door behind us.

“David- Elle’s here.” She calls out towards the kitchen. “And she brought somebody.” Jen adds looking Gerard over.

“Uh yeah you’d said it’d be all right.” I remind her and she kinda half smiled.

“Oh its just, I thought you were gonna bring a umm girl-friend.” Jen says cautiously.

“She did.” Paul smirks as he comes down the steps. I look over at Gerard quickly. He kinda smiled at Pauls ‘joke’ but didn’t answer him. Didn’t even make eye contact with him. I guess cause Jen was standing there… I didn’t know. And honestly I didn’t care. As long as there was no trouble. That’s all I cared about. “Hey Elle.” Paul says smiling at me, as he looked me over dragging out the L sound a little. He kinda licked his lip at me too.. Ass… I mean I know what he was doing.-He was trying to get a reaction from Gerard, but it wasn’t working.

“Bobby come down here.” Jen yells up the steps and Bobby appears behind her suddenly.

“I'm right here mommy.” He whines and Jen tosses her hands up a little.

“These kids!” Jen tells me and I smile politely.

“Elle!” Bobby runs over and grabs on to my leg.

“Bobby!” Jen scolds him.

“Aw its all right.” I say pulling him off me. “How have you been Bobby?” I say kneeling down to his level. He just smiled at me. “Mmm I want you to meet my friend Gerard.” I say nodding towards him and Bobby looked over carefully. “You wanna say hello?” I encourage him. Bobby frowned as Gerard held out his hand towards him.

“Hello.” Gerard said but Bobby ignored him. Just circled around him looking him over. Scrutinizing him a little.

“Bobby!” Jen gasps and I laugh.

“Wow I'm being sized up by a three year old.” Gerard says and Jen shakes her head at Bobby.

“I'm four.” Bobby declares and Gerard nods repentantly.

“Of course. I'm sorry.” He says as seriously as he can muster as Bobby continued to size him up.

“You have to forgive Bobby, I'm afraid he's got a little crush on Elle.” Jen says grabbing Bobby’s hand and whispering something harshly in his ear about behaving.

“That’s all right.” Gerard says and then Jen started babbling some shit about where they were going and all this crap. I wasn’t really listening. I followed her into the kitchen. Gerard was behind me and Paul was behind him.

David was standing by the kitchen island with a suitcase bag by his feet. He looked Gerard over and didn’t say anything. Then he looked at Paul and then me. I guess he was trying to figure out what was up. I mean the way he was looking at us… Like maybe he thought we were gonna have some kinda threesome tonight or something I don’t know… Paul went to the fridge and pulled out a water bottle and tossed it in his duffle bag.

“You going out tonight?” David says to him and Paul nods. David glances over at me and then turns back to Paul. “I don’t want no fucking trouble here.” He says harshly to him and Paul stood up a little tall but didn’t answer him. “You hear me?” David snaps at him.

“I'm not gonna be here.” Paul repeats looking past David a little.

“Pauls got practice.” Jen says scribbling some numbers down on a paper and hanging them up on the fridge. “That’s where we’re gonna be okay?” She tells me and I nod.

“And after practice.” David continues to interrogate Paul.

“I'm going to Mikes.” Paul tells him. I could see him clenching his fists a little. David and Paul did not get along. It was so obvious. I think even Gerard was picking up on it.

“You gonna stay out all night?” David barks at him stepping closer to him and Paul doesn’t even flinch. “You know you got a wrestling meet in the morning.” David says and Paul nods.

“Yes sir.” He says staring past him again.

“You better place too. I don’t want to hear your excuses when I get back.” David starts in on him…Fuck. I hated it…David acts like sports are the most important thing in the world. I mean what's wrong with doing the best you can? Its times like these that I'm glad I don’t have a father…

“I'm sure Pauls gonna do fine.” I interrupt him and Paul looks over at me and smiles.

“You think?” He says and I can hear the vulnerability in his voice… Paul always needed a lot of encouragement. I guess to balance out all the negativity from his step-dad. And now that I'm gone from his life… I guess no one is giving it to him.

“Of course Paul.” I say nudging his arm. “I have faith in you.” I say and he nods at me.

“Faith?” David laughs. “Its gonna take a lot more than faith to get you into a college.” David says meanly. But it didn’t seem to bother Paul as much anymore.

“I gotta go mom.” Paul says tossing his bag over his shoulder. His mom just nodded at him. “I’ll see you later Elle.” He smiles at me.

“Wait!” Billy cries out running after him. Paul looked down at him a little surprised. “You got anymore choc-late?” Billy asks and Paul smiled.

“Here you go.” He says pulling a bag of M&Ms from his pocket and handing it to Billy.

“Gee thanks Paul!” I yell over and Paul winks at me before leaving.

A few minutes later Jen and David left too. Bobby and Billy had went into the living room to watch the cartoon channel and I was gonna try to make something to eat. I mean I was fucking starving to death.

“So Pauls dad’s an asshole huh?” Gerard says sitting down at the table watching me pull crap out of the fridge.

“Step-dad.” I correct him and he nods looking around the room. “and yes… yes he is.” I sigh a little pulling a bowl down from the cabinet.

“Whatcha doing?” He asks looking over.

“I'm gonna make pancakes.” I say and he smiles. “You wanna help?” I ask holding up the spoon.

“Yes.” Bobbys voice calls out from behind Gerard.

“What?” I laugh.

“I wanna help.” Bobby says and I smile.

“All right Bobby, you can help.” I say handing him the spoon. Gerard just smiled as Billy walked in. “Billy you wanna help too?” I ask and Billy just looked at me for a second before shaking his head no. “You sure?” I ask teasing him a little. “Its gonna be fun.” I taunt him.

“Okay but do I have to eat them?” Billy says nervously.

“What?” I laugh.

“The last time you made pancakes Elle they tasted like feet.” Billy says and Gerard laughs. I frowned.

“Feet?” I repeat back and Billy nods.

“I put the eggs in.” Bobby says proudly holding the bowl out to me.

“Wow you sure did.” I say trying not to laugh. Bobby did put the eggs in. Shells and all… And he stirred it…

“Nice.” Gerard says looking over my shoulder and I nudge him.

“I'm starving to death here you know.” I tell him and he smiles.

“All right boys come here.” Gerard says kneeling down a little waving them over to him. “Look we all know Elle can’t cook.” He says and Billy nods enthusiastically. “So how bout we go out to eat hmm?” He says and I smile at him. “My treat okay?” Gerard says and Billy nods and Bobby hesitates. “You know at IHOP they have these chocolate chip pancakes-with whipped cream“ Gerard says and Bobby’s eyes light up. “How does that sound?” Gerard tells him and Bobby nods too. “Elle?” Gerard says looking up at me.

“Sounds perfect Gerard…” I tell him. “Just perfect.”