FicWad

Frankie looked at Gerard for like a spilt second like he was deciding what to do… He should've just sat his ass down; you know they could’ve just talked it out... But no. I guess its more fun to be chased down like a dog and beaten unconscious… Eh. Its probably a guy thing, you know the adrenaline rush and all. I don’t know.

Frankie paused for a second before tossing the popcorn bowl down to the floor and turning and running out of the room…Gerard was close behind. I tried to yell for them to stop but it was pointless since before I could blink they were already out the back door and in the yard… And poor Mikey was still bitching about wanting to know what the fuck was going on but I wasn’t in the mood for his shit right now…

I kinda just snapped at him something like ‘go ask them’, or some crap. He made a face at me but I ignored him and went downstairs to Gerard's room to call the guy from the insurance company back. Apparently there's a whole bunch of forms and shit to fill out and I had to tell the guy that I still didn’t know where I was gonna be staying. I mean Lia totally stiffed me! I was still so upset about that. After all the crap I've done for her… And I wasn’t gonna be able to stay at Gerard's that was for sure. I mean I know his mom is cool and all but I just wouldn’t feel right.

I told the insurance dude that I was probably gonna get a hotel but I didn’t know where or when or anything really and I guess he felt bad cause he offered to fill them out for me over the phone. Stupidly, I agreed. I mean if I knew it was gonna be 150 stupid fucking questions that I didn’t know half the answers to I would’ve put it off, had him mail it to me or something…

Although I don’t know how much a difference that would’ve made…I still would’ve had to fill it out. And it wasn’t multiple choice either, although I doubt filling it out Elle rules would’ve went over any better with the insurance company then it did with the principal…

And that’s when I realized that fucking school helps with shit in the real world. I mean who gives a fuck who won the Battle of Normandy! How bout a class on how to file an insurance claim? Cause that shit I could use right about now. And fucking algebra man! I mean who gives a fuck about what X times Y is … How bout teaching math that you can actually use?

“Can you say that again?” I ask the guy on the phone for like the tenth time now.

“Okay, no problem.” He sighs a little and I could tell he was regretting offering to help me… “How many square feet would you estimate the room to be?” He repeats and I frown a little as Gerard comes down the stairs. He kinda looked at me like what's the matter and I just shook my head at him a little.

“You mean my room?” I ask into the phone.

“Uh yes, the damaged room.” The guy replies.

“Yeah that would be mine.” I sigh a little as Gerard sits on the bed and looks over at me. “Square feet you say?” I say shifting the phone a little on my ear.

“Yes that’s right.” The guy replies.

“Um well I don’t know.” I tell him as I strain to think. I don’t fucking know! I mean I have no idea how to measure square feet. Am I suppose to know this shit? I mean seriously- am I?

“Well how wide is the room? If you were to measure it?” The guy asks me when I don’t answer. “You multiply the length and the width and that’ll give you the square footage.” He tells me and I rub my eyes a little.

“You want me to multiply!” I say and I look over and Gerard grins a little at me. Well fuck. I ain’t asking him for help. I saw how he multiplies. I'm gonna be fucking opening doors for him for the rest of his life…

“You know I can just send you these forms if you need time-“ The guy starts to say when I don’t respond and I cut him off.

“No, no I can do it now I just need a minute.” I tell him desperately. I just wanted to get this over with already… “You got a calculator Gerard.” I whisper over at him as I pulled the phone from my ear, and he nods and goes back upstairs to get it I suppose.

“You don’t need a calculator Miss Waller.” The insurance guy tells me once Gerard was already gone. “Just give me the measurements and I’ll fill it out.” He says and I frown a little offended. I mean what was he implying? That I'm too stupid to figure it out on my own?

Aw fuck Elle. Why do you always assume that? Why are you always so fucking defensive when people try to help… He’s just trying to help… He doesn’t have to be filling out these forms on the phone with you. He could be like fuck you lady when you get your shit together call us…

“Well I’d give you the measurements but I don’t have them.” I tell him and he laughed.

“The what were you gonna put in the calculator?” He says and I feel my eyes well up with tears.

“I don’t know.” I sniffle.

“I'm so sorry, please don’t cry.” The guys says a little pathetically and I sniffle again… He mumbled something under his breath. I guess he's not supposed to make the customers cry. I don’t know…

“I'm just really trying here and I don’t know how many feet there are and I….” I say getting a little worked up…I mean it was just hitting me so hard all of a sudden, all the crap he was saying. I mean he was a nice guy and all. He wasn’t being mean. He was actually quite pleasant… I was just so down and so defeated from the whole ordeal that I just wanted to curl up somewhere and die…

“All right listen, I’ll just fill this out for you when I get the information back from the inspector okay?” He says and I nod a little. I knew it wasn’t right. I should've fucking told him no. Send it to me. I mean even if its difficult I should have to fill it out myself… Everyone else does, so I should have to too…

But no.

I don’t do it. I fucking take the easy way out. Like always… I tell him yeah thanks a lot and all this crap…The he started saying something about going back to the house and trying to salvage any kind of valuables that may be left cause once they start the construction I could forget about it…I wasn’t really listening anymore. I was too lost in my thoughts…Fucking Lia was right… I fucking cry and bat my eyelashes until I get what I want... I get guys to do all this shit for me I should be doing for myself... I was so disgusted with myself by the time I hung up with him it was unbelievable…

I mean when am I gonna stand on my own two feet? When am I gonna stop being so pathetic that everyone feels sorry for me? Fuck…

I picked the phone back up and called information. Then I booked myself a room at the motel 6 on the corner. Well that was one problem down. I had a place to go tonight… It wasn’t even that far. It was actually right next to the diner… The diner where I left my truck…fuck! What am I gonna do about that…Well I found a place to stay on my own. I guess I can fix my truck on my own too right?

I dialed information again and the lady gave me the number for some auto shop that I never heard of, that does tires I guess. I should've fucking known though by the way the guy answered the phone that it wasn’t gonna go well… I mean you could hear it in his voice. It was one of those ‘guys’ only kinda shops… Where the only girls are topless and on calendars…

“Yeah, um I need some help, see I got a flat tire.” I tell the guy and I can hear him practically smirking at me.

“Uh huh.” He replies.

“Like, you guys sell tires right?” I ask and I can hear him clearing his throat a little.

“What size you need darling?” He says and I froze up at the word darling… I hated that word… Brutus use to call me that… Every time I hear it, it just tears at my heart.

“Um what?” I say trying to shake the thought of him from my mind…

“For your car.” The guy on the phone says.

“Oh no its for a truck.” I tell him and I can hear him typing something. I guess he was looking it up in his computer. I don’t know.

“What kind?” He says a little annoyed. Like I should've told him that already.

“What kinda of truck?” I ask a little confused. I mean did that really matter?

“Naw darling what kinda tires?” He says and now I'm totally lost. There are different kinds of tires?

“Just plain round ones.” I tell him very seriously and he laughs…

“Oh you want the round ones.” He says and I could see him in my head making some kinda face at me as he continued to laugh. Then he mumbled something to someone in the background and they laughed too…

“Look I-“ I tried to say and he cut me off.

“Listen honey there's some numbers on the side of the tire can you read them to me?” He says and I make a face.

“Numbers?” I repeat back. I never saw any numbers on my tires…

“Yes read the numbers… off the tire… out loud…” He says so condescendingly I swear to God if I was in front of him I would’ve kicked him in the shin…

“I'm not in front of the truck or the tires.” I tell him biting my lip a little to keep it steady.

“Well go take a look and call me back.” He says and I roll my eyes… It wasn’t likely I would be calling him back that was for sure… “No you know what, you got a boyfriend darling?” He says and I find myself lost again.

“Un yeah.” I say cautiously. I mean what the fuck, is he gonna ask me out or something?

“Yeah I bet you do.” He laughs but I don’t know why. “Why don’t you just have him give me a call back instead sweety.” He says laughing a little and then he went to say something else but I just hung up on him.

I went over and threw myself face down onto Gerard’s bed…I just couldn’t do this… I was so fucking stupid to think I could do crap like this on my own… I mean what do other girls do? I had suddenly had a flashback. I was with Heather going to the mall… It was months ago, back when I was still with Paul. Back when the hardest thing in my life was deciding which shoes to wear… We parked at the mall and when we came out she had a flat tire… And she called her dad. And he came over and I’ll never forget what happened. He gave her his keys and told her to take his car home, that he’d take care of it… And I was so jealous…

Jealous that she had a dad… a dad who was gonna ‘take care of things’ for her… I guess this is my punishment for always being so jealous…I mean it had to be… I shut my eyes, trying desperately to hold it all together, when all I really wanted to do was cry into Gerard's pillow… fuck his pillow, I wanted to cry into his shoulder… I just needed him so badly… Paul was right. All I ever wanted was someone to take care of me…

I heard some footsteps coming down the stairs again. I figured it was Gerard. I didn’t lift my head up, or open my eyes. I just laid there drowning in my anguish as the footsteps grew closer… Then I felt a hand on my back. It was warm…and gentle…and comforting…I sighed a little as it ran up along my back and squeezed the back of my neck and my shoulders… and I don’t know how but I knew it wasn’t Gerard…