FicWad

“Let her go.” A deep voice calls out and an arm reaches in and grabs me off of Gerard's lap. At first I panicked and grabbed Gerard desperately, but he was just kinda frozen, looking over my shoulder at…fuck…It was a cop.

But not just a cop. The cop…The same cop I've been running into all day. Officer fuck-face or whatever the hell his name was. He kinda just pulled me out of the car in one swift motion.

“I wasn’t…” Gerard tries to say and the cop motioned for him to get out too.

“Out.” He says roughly and Gerard sighed a little but did what he was told. “Put your hands on the hood.” He tells him and Gerard kinda chuckled a little under his breath as he did what he was told.

“We were just kidding around!” I cry out and the cop looks over at me and frowns a little.

“You again.” He says and I bit my lip a little as he looked me over.

“Really, we were just kidding around.” I tell him and he crossed his arms on his chest. “He wasn’t trying to hurt me I swear!” I insist and he nodded for me to go stand next to Gerard.

“Turn back around.” He says to Gerard and now we’re both kinda leaning against the hood of the car, while the cop stood in front of us... I scuffed my boot against the pavement a little nervously as he looked us both over. “I'm standing clear across the lot by the doorway and I can hear you yelling stop.” He tells me and I frown. I really didn’t think I yelled it that loud. But I guess since the windows were open and there was no one else in the lot it kinda echoed…

“I'm sorry.” I say looking up at him and he shook his head a little.

“Do you understand what I'm saying that looked like?” He says to me and I nod.

“I didn’t mean to.” I say and I sniffle a little intentionally…”He was just teasing me, trying to make me feel better and…I…” I start to cry a little. I figured it was the only way out of this… I mean what kinda bully cop is gonna stand there and ream out a poor crying girl…”I'm really sorry, I didn’t realize how loud I yelled.” I sniffled. Gerard reached over and squeezed my hand a little comfortingly…The cop however didn’t have as much sympathy…

“How many times have I seen you now today Miss Waller?” Officer what's his name says sighing a little as he crossed his arms on his chest again.

“Um three?” I offer and he frowns. I think maybe it was one of those questions that you're not suppose to answer…

“And how many more times am I gonna see you?” He says and I just looked at him blankly… I mean I'm not a fucking psychic. I don’t fucking know… I was about to say that too but Gerard spoke first…

“None...sir.” Gerard says and I frown a little confused. I kinda looked over at him like are you sure and he nodded so I shrugged.

“I guess this is the last time.” I say not sounding to convinced. The cop kinda just stared at us for a few seconds and I tried my best to look remorseful…

“All right both of you, just get out of here.” He says and Gerard exhaled a little relieved I guess as we got back in his car…

It took him a minute to fix his seat, and put his buckle on. And then he pulled out like incredibly carefully. I guess cause the cop was still standing there…

“Fuck Elle.” He kinda chuckles once he pulled out on to the highway.

“Hmm?” I say looking up at him. I was trying to light my cigarette but my lighter wouldn’t spark up right.

“I mean does trouble like follow you around or what?” He laughs and I wrinkle my face a little.

“What?!” I gasp and he smiles at me.

“Aw, nothing baby.” He says and I shake my head a little.

“That was not my fault!” I tell him widening my eyes at him and he looked at me like whatever…”You're the one who got all grabby.” I tell him and he laughs.

“That’s cause I just cant help myself with you baby.” He says eyeing me over and I laugh as he smiled at me. “So where we going?” He asks me and I shrug a little. My mood suddenly plummeted…

“I don’t know. I gotta make some phone calls.” I tell him and he reaches over and puts his hand on my leg.

“At your house?” He says and I frown.

“I don’t know if the phone’ll even work at my house Gerard.” I say and he kinda made a face at me. "They told me not to go back there." I tell him sighing a little.

“It’s that bad?” He asks me and I nod. “What the hell happened Elle?” He says and I kinda looked out the window.

“I don’t know.” I sigh.

“No really baby.” He says and I turn back to him. Figured I better just get it all over with now…I mean he was driving so its not like he could walk out on me…

“Well you know how my nightlight burnt out?” I say and he frowned a little.

“Uh yeah.” He replies.

“Well Frankie put a shirt over the lamp to kinda make it dark and it caught fire.” I say and he makes a face like I had to be kidding.

“What!” He says and I shrug. “Elle… I don’t understand.” He tells me and I just looked at him.

“What part?” I ask a little confused. I thought it was pretty clear…

“It caught fire and…” He shook his head a little, like he was missing something. “Elle I don’t see how…” He stammered a little.

“Mmm, you want me to start at the beginning?” I ask him and he smiled a little at me.

“Yeah, that would be nice.” He says and I kinda felt like maybe he was talking down to me, but I bit my lip and didn’t say anything about his tone… He looked over at me like start talking, so I did…

“Well, I kinda got really fucked up after you left.” I say and he swallowed a little and didn’t say anything. “I mean I was really upset you know? And I don’t know I just wanted to…to be.” I tell him my voice trailing off and he glanced over at me.

“Be what?” He asks me and I look down a little.

“I don’t know…be somewhere else… I don’t know I just… I just couldn’t help myself.” I tell him as my eyes welled up with tears. He glanced over and didn’t say anything… “You're angry right?” I say and he kinda made a face.

“I just don’t like to see you fucked up like that, I told you that already baby, that’s all.” He says and I look down remorsefully.

“I disappointed you right.” I say softly and he kinda frowned a little.

“Naw baby, It’s all right.” He tells me and I shake my head no… It wasn’t alright…I was a fuck up and he's starting to realize it…”Aw come on now Elle, don’t beat yourself up over it, it happens you know.” He tells me as he reached over and took my hand in his; squeezing it lightly…it was silent for a moment. “If I had been able to get my hands on something last night I probably would’ve taken it too.” He says and I just looked at him.

“Really?” I ask and he nods.

“Yeah.” He sighed. “I mean I figured that’s what you were gonna do.” He says and I frowned a little.

“So you're not disappointed?” I ask again and he sighed a little looking over at me.

“What do you want me to say Elle hmm?” He says and I just bit my lip a little and didn’t answer him. “I just want what's best for you, you know that right...” He says lowering his voice a little and I sniffled once again…

“I know that Gerard.” I reply.

“Then I don’t know why you keep fucking do this to yourself.” He says and I stare off out the window a little bit… I don’t know why I do it either…

“You hate me now right.” I tell him trying to pull my hand from his but he wouldn’t let me go.

“Come on.” He chuckles.

“No you do.” I insist.

“Elle, I could never hate you.” He says smiling at me.

“Well maybe you should wait till I finish the story before you say that.” I tell him and he kinda smiled at me like maybe I was exaggerating….

“Well then go head Elle, finish your story.” He says patronizing me a little...”You got fucked up and what? That’s how you burnt the house down?” He says and I shake my head no. “Well then go head baby, tell me what happened.” He says and I take a deep breath before continuing…

“Well you know how I can’t sleep with out my night light.” I say and he nods.

“But it was burnt out.” He says and I shift a little in my seat.

“Yeah so Frankie put the shirt on the lamp and he said he’d take it off when I fell asleep.” I tell him and he frowns.

“And what he fell asleep too?” He asks me and I shake my head no.

“No um actually he went in the shower.” I say and Gerard made a face.

“The shower?” He repeats back a little lost.

“Wait I'm getting ahead of myself.” I tell him as we pull up in front of his house. He shut the car off and went to open his door.

“You know what Elle. It doesn’t really matter.” He says and I grab his arm and stop him.

“No it does just listen.” I say and he sighed a little.

“Then go on.” He says and I take another deep breath.

“So, I was real upset right?” I say and he nods. ”And I was pretty fucked up.” I say and he mumbles something that sounded like uh-huh…”And Frankie was trying to make me feel better I guess and he was saying all this nice stuff and…” My voice trailed off a little. Gerard sighed a little impatiently.

“And what?” He says and I diverted my eyes from his.

“And I guess in my fucked up state I kinda took it the wrong way and…” I say and Gerard raised his eyebrows slightly at me like he knew what I was trying to say. “I tried to rape him Gerard. That’s why Chrissy slapped me.” I tell him and he smiled for like two seconds till he realized I was serious.

“You what?” He says and I looked down remorsefully.

“I just threw myself at him and he said no.” I said softly playing with the hem of my dress…

“He better have fucking said no.” Gerard says roughly and I look back up at him. He had this slightly amused yet slightly pissed off look on his face. It was a weird combination…

“He did.” I repeat and Gerard nodded a little. “But I um, refused to take no for an answer.” I tell him and he pressed his lips together like he was trying not to smile.

“You what?” he says and I look down again.

“I threw myself at him Gerard.” I say and he reaches over and lifts my chin back up. “I mean I threw myself at him.” I repeat.

“Yeah.” He says and I could tell by his tone he didn’t get what I was saying.

“No I mean I physically threw myself on top of him.” I say and Gerard just looked at me like he didn’t believe me. “I mean I took off my shirt and pinned him to the bed.” I said remembering back. “I tried to rape him.” I added softly.

“Wait you took off your shirt?” He says and I nod and look back up at him. He was shifting his eyes a little thinking.

“Gerard.” I say softly.

”Wait Elle, I'm trying to get a visual here.” He says and I bite my lip a little. “You have your pants on?” He says and I nod.

“Um yeah.” I say and he nods.

“Did he?” He says and he still wont look at me…

“Well yeah I was trying to get them off him but he kinda fought back.” I say and Gerard grinned a little amused. “I was just desperate Gerard. I don’t know what I was thinking.” I said sighing a little looking down again. “I just wanted to be loved you know, I didn’t really care by who.” I told him and he reached over and took my hand again…

“So you just took your shirt off, that’s it.” He says finally swinging his eyes back on to me. I couldn’t read his expression anymore… I don’t know if he was still pissed or amused or maybe he was both I dont know. He's hard to read sometimes…

“Uh yeah.” I say cautiously.

“But not your bra.” He says and I cocked my head to the side a little.

“Well no.” I say and he kinda breathed a sigh of relief. “I wasn’t wearing bra.” I tell him wrinkling my face a little and his expression suddenly went blank again… “Are you mad?” I ask stupidly.

“Nothing happened right?” He says and I quickly shake my head.

“No nothing.” I say firmly. I was a little panicked still that he was gonna tell me off, tell me he hates me…

“Then it’s all right baby.” He says squeezing my hand a little as he opened his door again. “I'm just gonna kill the motherfucker next time I see him.” He says plainly and I widen my eyes at him as I get out too…

“Gerard. What? He didn’t do anything.” I say a little loudly.

“Did he touch you?” Gerard says grabbing my book bag off the floor before slamming the car door roughly…

“Well, no I mean he pushed me off of him, he didn’t like grope me or anything.” I say as we go up the front steps to his house.

“But he looked.” Gerard says and I frown a little. “He did look at you right?” He says and I shrug.

“I suppose.” I say trying to make it not sound as bad as it was… Gerard smirked a little as he held the front door open for me... I went to go in and he paused.

“Aw fuck I forgot my bag.” He says frowning. I made a face at him. I mean he took my bag off the floor and my coat and my purse but he left his in the backseat.

“Gimme.” I said taking my crap from him and he darted back down the steps as I went in…

The TV was on in the living room but no one was watching it. I walked over and shut it off.

“Hey!” A voice cries out from the kitchen in protest. Oh fuck. It was Frankie…Coming back into the living room with a big bowl of popcorn. Mikey was right behind him too… “I was fucking watching that!” Frankie tells me, flicking it back on with the remote.

“Frankie what the hell are you doing here!” I say widening my eyes at him.

“I lost my keys.” He shrugs as he plops himself down on the couch. “They weren’t in my gym locker.” He tells me and I shake my head a little at him. Fuck Gerard was gonna be coming in any second now…

“What are you doing here?” He asks me shoving some popcorn into his face now. “You and Gee make up yet?” He says and I nod. “You told him about…” He says and I bit my lip a little…

“About what?” Mikey says a little lost in the conversation I guess…

“Yeah Frankie, it umm...didn’t go as well as I hoped.” I say and Frankie frowned a little at me…

“What didn’t?” Mikey asks eager to be included. All of a sudden the front door opens and Gerard comes walking in and Frankie’s face totally dropped.

“Uh hey bro what's up?” Mikey says still trying to figure out what was going on.

“Nothing Mikey.” Gerard replies back plainly as he takes off his coat. I felt a wave a relief kinda pass over me…Gerard wasn’t gonna do anything to Frankie…He was just teasing…”Elle baby, why don’t you go use the phone downstairs, its quieter.” Gerard tells me and I nod.

“Or not.” Frankie cries out, his voice cracking a little. "I think you should stay here Elle." Frankie says like he feared for his life and Gerard kinda just smirked at him....I shifted my eyes between Frankie and Gerard… Was Gerard trying to get rid of me… I mean was he trying to get me out of the room or something?

"Gerard are you trying to get rid of me?" I say cautiously.

"Will someone please tell me what's going on?" Mikey whines again.

"Elle you go downstairs." Gerard says firmly to me. Or should I say Mr. Bossy said to me... "You shut the fuck up Mikey and mind your buisness." He says pointing at Mikey. “And you.” He says pointing over at Frankie. “You better run motherfucker…”