FicWad

I was bending forward a little tossing my books into the bottom of my locker. Being careful not to bend too far over though, since my skirt was so short, and I felt a breeze behind me. Like had someone had walked up behind me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw an arm reach around me and they were holding something in my face. I looked up and it took me a second to focus on it…

It was bow-bow.

I mean he looked like shit, but it was him. His bow tie was sewn back on crookedly and the gash on his stomach was repaired horribly… The stuffing inside him was all lumpy looking too… He looked like Frankenstein. What the fuck did he do to him?! I just stared at bow-bow for a second with out turning around. And that’s when I noticed Gerard's hand. He must’ve had a band-aid on every fucking finger… I guess he's not good with needles…Actually he's afraid of needles. I can’t believe he did this…

“I fixed your bear.” I hear him say and I turn around to face him… He looked just as pathetic as bow-bow did…I just stared at him not sure of what to say... “Here.” He says forcing the bear into my hands. “I was gonna leave him your locker but I didn’t think you’d ever get him out.” Gerard says and I tried not to smile.

“So you left my locker open?” I say and he makes a face like he didn’t know what I was talking about. “My locker was open.” I tell him and he kinda frowns. “Well not like wide open but it was unlocked.” I clarify and he peeks around me to looks in it.

“Naw I didn’t touch it Elle.” He says and I shrug and don’t look up at him.

“So, you did this?” I ask running my hand along bow-bows scar… It was weird too cause as I did that I couldn’t help but notice my own scar and I felt my eyes welling up with tears… Seemed fitting that bow-bow ended up scarred too…

“I tried Elle.” He sighed. “I don’t know if it even matters to you now.” He says and I feel my face drop a little... Honestly. It didn’t matter anymore. It was just a stupid bear. Lia was right. I threw a a whole big hissy fit over nothing… I have to let go of the past… I have get over it. I'm fucking up my whole future cause I'm stuck in the past…

“No it really doesn’t.” I repeat back.

“Elle I never wanted to hurt you I just....” He says his voice trailing off a little as he looked down at the floor.

“…wanted to keep me safe.” I say softly finishing his sentence under my breath as he kinda kicked at the floor, scuffing it with his boot… I don’t know if he heard me or not…

“Even if you never forgive me, I know I did the right thing.” He says his voice suddenly filled with conviction. He looked up at me and I looked away ashamed… I didn’t deserve him, that was for sure… Lia was right. I was a selfish bitch. Stuck in the past. I looked down at the mangled bear in my hands and sighed a little… It all seemed so unimportant now… And suddenly things seemed so clear. It’s just stuff… I understood it now, what Mr. Bonner was saying and Mrs. Portman and the cop and the fireman and fuck know who else said it…

It was just stuff… Stuff can be replaced… People can’t… I could never replace Gerard, or the love I feel for him. And I never want to. I don’t want to spend another minute apart from him. Who knows how many we have left…I wanted to tell him this. Explain to him this realization I just had… Make him understand too…

“Gerard I have to tell you, last night, something happened and I realize that-” I start to say turning my eyes back to his and he bites his lip a little.

“With Bob?” He says lowering his voice down, interrupting me.

“What?” I say a little confused.

“With Bob?” He repeats diverting his eyes from mine. “Something happen with Bob?” He says and he was looking past me almost…waiting for my answer…

“Bob?” I say like I never heard the name before.

“Bob stayed with you right?” He says and his voice was suddenly filled with this anxiousness that I couldn’t really describe… It was weird…

“No.” I reply. “No he didn’t.” I say and Gerard frowned a little as he swung his eyes back on me. He seemed upset. I guess cause Bob was suppose to stay and he didn’t…

“He didn’t?” He says and I shake my head no. “You were alone, in that house all night?” He says and I could see the worry in his eyes… It was cause of that creepy dude who broke into Pauls…

“No. umm Frankie stayed.” I say and he looked at me like I had to be kidding. “I mean Bob was gonna stay but Mikey threw a hissy fit.” I say wrinkling my face a little. I still wasn’t sure what all that was about…

“aw mikey…” Gerard sighs under his breath a little and he kinda smiled faintly at the thoughts in his head I guess, I don’t know… I suddenly spotted Jessica coming down the hall way… I guess to tell Gerard I ditched gym class. I don’t know…

“Can we talk outside?” I say softly and he nods. The hallway was filling up with kids now.

“Uh yeah let me just get my books.” He says and he reaches over and his locker popped open too. “What the fuck?” He grumbles wiggling the handle a little.

“hmm?” I say not really paying attention. I guess Jessica saw that I was with Gerard and decided not to come over. She was whispering something to that girl Dana now and they were both kinda looking over at me from down the hall…

“My locker was open too.” Gerard says and I frown and look over at it.

“Is there anything missing?” I ask and he shrugs.

“I don’t think so.” He says shuffling some books around. He frowned and reached over and checked the handle on the Wang’s lockers…They were both locked… “That’s fucking weird.” He mumbles and I nod. I wasn’t really listening. Bob was coming down the hall now. He kinda smiled at me and I smiled back and waved a little.

As he started towards us Jessica reaches over and grabs his arm a little. She was saying something to him… But I was too far away to hear what it was, and I can’t read lips… Wouldn’t have mattered if I could anyway cause Bob kinda turned his back to me as he talked to her and that Dana chick…

“Elle?” I hear Gerard's voice say and I turned my attention back to him. ”You ready?” He says as he shuts his locker and I nod. He went like he was gonna take my hand but then stopped himself… I guess he wasn’t sure where we stand anymore…

“Gerard.” I say softly smiling at him and I reached over and took his hand in mine. He was being silly… didn’t he know how much I needed him? As soon my hand touched his I felt this warmth radiate through my body and I knew everything was gonna be okay. As long as I had him I was gonna be okay…

I squeezed his hand in mine tightly and he squeezed back…Kinda like he felt it too…It was just so right me and him, being together. I just know he had to have felt it too… I looked over and he kinda gave me a sheepish grin as he stroked my palm with his thumb and I smiled…

He was saying he loved me. Not with words… but with his touch. And I told him I loved him back with my smile…

His grin turned into a smile and I felt myself blush under his stare. I turned my face a little embarrassed and glanced over at Bob. He was still ‘talking’ with Jessica and Dana… But now they were all looking over at us…

Gerard reached over and lifted my chin slightly, turning my face back to his…I reached up and put my hand on his wrist and he went to pull his hand back but I stopped him. I loved feeling his hands on my face. I loved the touch of him… I pulled his hand up to my cheek and he stroked the side of my face softly as I stared up into his eyes…

But he wasn’t looking back at me. He was looking over my face like he was memorizing my features in his head. His eyes finally rested on my lips and I could see him licking his own slightly, like he wanted to taste me but was still afraid…

I parted my lips slightly and he smiled as he leant forward to kiss me. I mean I had kissed him so many times before. But this time was different… This kiss would mean we have a future. That our love still exists…It was a promise for the future… But his lips…

They never touched mine.

In the instant that they were about to crash down onto mine, someone reached over and grabbed me… right out of his arms…

It was Chrissy… And boy was she pissed…She came right up to me and grabbed my arm and swung me around towards her and before I could even blink to see it was it her, she slapped me…Hard. Right across the cheek.

“What the fuck!” I hear Gerard cry out as I clutched my face and looked up at her. It stung pretty badly too…

“How could you?” She says looking over me with the perfect mix of anger and outrage… I just stared at her… I mean for a second I had no idea what she was talking about…And then it hit me… Frankie…

“Elle are you-“ Gerard says reaching for me.

”No I'm all right.” I tell him rubbing my cheek lightly as I leant back from him. “I totally deserved that.” I tell him and he frowned a little as I turned my attention back to Chrissy… She shook her head a little as I looked her over. I mean I had never seen Chrissy not smiling… And here she was totally distraught.

“Damn right you deserved it, you're a fucking slut!” She says and she kinda stepped towards me again and I couldn't help but grin at her. She had no idea how close to the edge I was...

“I let you have one Chrissy.” I tell her holding my hand up to her face and she frowned at me. “You touch me again and their gonna be scraping your blonde ass up off the floor.” I threaten her and she kinda stepped back a little and shook her head at me.

“Elle I thought we were friends! How could you do this to me.” She cries out, carrying on like a fucking drama queen and I tried not to smile, I really did… I mean there was no way she was serious! Us! Friends?! Cause what; we got drunk off of lemonade together that one time?

“Chrissy you're not serious right?” I blurt out. “You really thought we were friends.” I say laughing slightly and I guess she was cause the look on her face was suddenly one of pure hurt. Oh my god. She was serious! She did think we were friends…

“You're a real bitch Elle.” She replies and I shrug.

“Let me tell you something Chrissy.” I say snidely to her. I don’t know why, but I found myself taking out all my frustrations of the day on her… “The only reason why I tolerated you for so long was cause Frankie seemed to have a hard on for you.” I say and she frowned. “But I never liked you, or your fucking little peppy ass attitude, actually I kinda think I hate you!” I tell her and she looked like she was about to cry but I just carried on. “I do. I really do. I hate everything about you, from your fake pink nails to your fucking strawberry lip gloss.” I snap at her and Gerard grabs my arm a little.

“Elle!” He gasps a little at me.

“No whatever. I just don’t care anymore. The truth hurts right? That's what they say?” I tell him pulling my arm from his. I mean I figure if everyone else is gonna tell me the truth today, I’ll do a little truth spreading of my own…

“You're a real bitch Elle.” Chrissy says glaring at me a little.

"Say it again Chrissy, I dare you." I taunt her as I stepped forward towards her. She didn't say anything. Just kinda stared at me for a second. I guess debating in her head how serious I was... "Well?" I say putting my hand on my hips and raising my eyebrows up at her threateningly, just waiting for her to give me a reason...Gerard reached over and grabbed my arm, pulling me back again.

“Elle let it go.” He says roughly and I frown at him. “Come on.” He says tugging me a little towards the door.

“Gerard!” I protest as he drags me outside.

“Elle what the hell is wrong with you huh?!” He demands as we go down the steps.

“What?!” I exclaim back. I mean he saw what happened. What was I suppose to do? Take crap from HER! I don’t think so!

“What the hell was that all about?” He asks me and I looked at him like maybe he was kidding.

“She was pissed.” I tell him and he frowns as he pulled his cigarettes out.

“No shit Elle.” He tells me and he went to light it and paused… You couldn’t smoke outside the school. I mean not so close to the doors like that. “Come on my cars in the lot, I’ll drive you home.” He says nodding for me to go with him.

“No I cant.” I say and he makes a face at me.

“What do you mean ‘can’t’.” He says and I frown. I thought I was pretty clear but I guess not…

“I mean can’t.” I repeat and he arches his eyebrow up at me. “First cause I don’t have a house anymore it kinda burnt down and second even if I did I'm suppose to-“ I try to say and he cuts me off.

“Whoa whoa whoa, go back.” He says waving his hand in the air a little. “You're house what?” He says and I frown. I guess Frankie didn’t tell him, I was kinda hoping he did so I wouldn't have to…

“Frankie burnt it down.” I say and he looked at me like maybe I was kidding. “I mean not all of it…but most of it.” I stammer as he just looked at me in disbelief. “And if you ask him he’ll say it was my fault, but it wasn’t fucking my fault it was his!” I say getting a little worked up and Gerard shook his head at me a little.

“Just wait a minute Elle.” He says holding his hand up and I took a deep breath as he thought about what I said I guess. “You're telling me its burnt.” He says double-checking.

“Yeah all my crap is gone Gerard, my shoes and my clothes and my…” I start to sniffle and he pulled me into his arms.

“Aw Elle, come here.” He says as he hugged me. He kissed the top of my head and I pressed my face into his chest, taking a deep breath of him. “Come on let’s get out of here already baby huh?” He says and I shrug… I mean there was hardly anyone left in the school now…And I didn’t forget about going to meet Mr. Samuel… I just…

I just didn’t care anymore…I wanted to be with Gerard…I mean trying to chase down the past has brought me nothing but heartache and I was tired of it. I have to start looking towards the future… And Gerard was gonna be my future, I was gonna make sure of it…

We walked over to his car...He was kinda in the back of the lot. I guess cause he came in so late. He opened the door for me and I got in a sighed a little. I don't know where we were going and I hated it. I hated that feeling of uncertainty... And that's what everything felt like. I mean didn't know where I was gonna be spending the night. I didn't know where I stood with Gerard, I didn't know anything and I hated it...Gerard got in and went to start the car up and I reached over and grabbed his arm.

"Wait." I tell him and he looked over at me. "Where's Mikey?" I ask and he shrugged a little.

"He said he was gonna catch a ride with Ray." Gerard replies and I nod understandingly... Yeah I shouldve figured so much. I mean from what Mikey said their ride to school was less then pleasant...

"And Frankie?" I ask and Gerard smirks a little.

"I saw him just before. He told me he was taking the bus." Gerard snickers a little. "Motherfucker." He mumbles under his breath.

"I don't think it was cause of the fire Gerard." I tell him and he makes a face at me.

"Then cause of what?" He replies and I shift in my seat slightly...

"Before I tell you I want you to kiss me." I say and he kinda smiled at me.

"What?" He says a little amused.

"Please Gerard. I just wanna make sure there's something between us still besides this shifter thing." I say reaching over and putting my hand on it and he chuckled.

"Come here baby." He says leaning over and pulling my face to his. He pressed his lips against mine and I felt his tongue fill my mouth. I shut my eyes as my emotions overtook me... I reached up and grabbed the back of his head and tried to pull him closer to me. But he was stronger. He was pulling me towards him. I felt my waist scraping against the gear shifter thing. I kinda winced a little and I guess he noticed cause with his lips still pressed tightly against mine, he reached his hand under his seat . He must've grabbed the lever or something cause all of a sudden his seat slid backwards and he kinda dragged me with him. He lifted me over the shifter thing and onto his lap in the drivers seat. We barely fit like that. My back was kinda pressed up tightly against the steering wheel.

And I winced again as he leant forward, crushing me slightly as he reached for the other lever. I guess he found it cause suddenly his seat goes reclining backwards. Almost completely horizontally... I gasped a little into his mouth and he chuckled as he pulled back from me...I was straddling him now. I went to lift myself slightly off of him and he gripped my waist and pulled me tighter to him.

"Now there nothing between us." He whispered in my ear and I felt myself shiver a little as he ran his hands down my waist.

"You're such a fool sometimes." I tease him and he smiles back at me as his hands made their way up my skirt.

"Mmm did I ever tell you I love when you wear a dress." He says his hands running up the back of my thighs.

"Well that's good to hear Gerard." I laugh. "Cause seeing as this is the only clothing I currently own. I'm going to be wearing it a lot." I tell him and he smiles as he grabs the bottom of it.

"Well then you should take it off before it gets dirty." He teases me as he tries to lift it up.

"Stop!" I cry out laughing trying to wriggle away from him. He grabbed my waist tighter and pulled me back against him, kissing my neck roughly as I squirmed to get away from him.

"You're not getting away that easily." He says and I laugh. "Now come on take it off." He teases me trying to lift it again...

"Gerard stop!" I yell out louder smiling at him...

The thought never occurred to me what it might look like from a distance... me yelling stop and him trying to lift my dress off me... I mean that was until there was a loud rapping on the window and the car door swung open viciously...