FicWad

Oh fuck. It was Mr Samuel. He was leaning over me holding a glass of what looked like water… He was reaching for me and I jumped back startled.

“What the hell are you doing!” I cried out in fear as I sat up. I was… I don’t know where the fuck I was. I was on a couch in some living room in some house I've never been in before…

“I could ask you the same thing.” Mr. Samuel says and I looked at him like he had to be nuts. He reached for me again and I screamed loudly. “Stop!” I yelled as loud as I could and he kinda winced.

“Ok calm down. You’ve already exceeded the limits of what I can safely give you” He says to me and I just looked at him completely thrown off. He was frowning at me. Like he was disappointed or some shit.

“What?” I widened my eyes at him in outrage.

“You were having an episode.” He says plainly and I felt my jaw drop.

“An episode?” I repeat back to him. Holy shit.

“Elle. Im going to have to serious consider reporting you to the school for a psychiatric evaluation.” He motioned like I was leaving him no choice.

“Well that’s funny cause I was going to do the same for you!” I snap right back at him. “You cant just fucking come to my house and fucking I don’t even know.” I sighed exasperatedly. I stood up and rubbed my head a little. I felt like shit. My head was pounding and I was so confused…

“You attacked me with a knife.” He holds his hand up and I couldn’t believe he was twisting this back on to me.

“You broke into my house!” I cry out and he shook his head no.

“I came to check on you after the fire.” He says and call me stupid but he sounded sincere. Maybe it was the after effects of the drugs but I wasn’t really sure what to believe anymore. Did I over react?

“No.” I answer myself out loud. Shaking my head a little as I looked around. “No, you came to my house you fucking injected me with something and brought me where? Where the hell are we?” I ask and he sighed a little.

“This is my living room Elle.” He says and I make a face at him.

“You brought me to your house!” I cry out. “What time is it?” I demand and Mr. S glances over at the clock at the wall.

“It’s almost 4.” He replies and I suddenly feel lightheaded… That means I was passed out most of the day… Funny it didn’t feel that long… Oh god… I had this horrible aching pain throughout my whole body still. I kinda slumped back over onto the couch and hung my head forward. I could only imagine what Gerards going through. He leaves me with Frankie. Frankie leaves me with Mr S and then I disappear for eight hours…“I have to get out of here.” I kinda sighed and Mr. S came over and sat down on the edge of the coffee table in front of me.

“Not so fast Elle. We have to talk.” He says and I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You kidnap me to talk.” I say under my breath but he heard me.

“Ok I didn’t kidnap you.” He says firmly. “I admit perhaps my conduct was less then professional.” He motions once again and I rolled my eyes at him.

“Perhaps.” I snickered and he frowned.

“Well perhaps I should’ve just brought you the nearest psychiatric hospital then.” He says getting all high and mighty. “Im sure a simple drug test would give them more then enough reason to admit you.” He cleared his throat and I shifted uncomfortably. “Look your mother and I have history together.” He softened his voice a bit. “That’s the only reason why Im here, why youre here.” He added and I sighed.

I look up and Mr. Samuel is just sitting there looking for me to say something I suppose… “Can I use your phone?” I ask him and a strange look kinda passed over his face, but then he nodded…

I wanted to call Gerard. I mean he was probably worried sick. Let him know I was ok.

I dialed his number and the answering machine picked up, so I hung up. I mean what the fuck was I gonna do leave a message? I tried it a few more times with the same result… Fuck… He's probably out looking for me. Looking for me where? I dunno. Where do creepy blue-eyed people hang out when they're not torturing and stalking young girls? The mall?

I dialed Bobs number and surprise surprise, it went right to answering machine too… Fuck… I bet he called Bob… I mean I should've been happy. I wanted them to talk, but not like this…I shook my head a little and racked my brain trying to think who else to call. And then it hits me. Ray.

I don’t know why I didn’t think of him sooner. He was always the most logical of all of them. If anybody could help me make sense of all this it was him!

I dialed his number and right as the answering machine picked up, so did he… He kinda sounded out of breath…

“Ray?” I ask and he coughed a little.

“Aw hey Elle what's up?” He says casually and I shrug.

“Uh not much.” I tell him plainly. “What's the matter you sound out of breath are you okay?” I ask and he coughs a little.

“Uh yeah I just ran in.” He says and I nodded a little. Sounded like he just ran up a flight of stairs...

"Where were you?" I asked curiously.

"Ah I ditched and went to get Lia a birthday present." He says and I replied with a 'hmm'. “Holy fuck, there's like a hundred messages what's going on?” He asks and I bit my lip a little. Oh fuck, what the hell is wrong with me? Sitting here chit chatting with Ray like nothing...

“Oh um yeah, they're probably all about me.” I say and I hear Ray groan a little.

“What’d ya do now?” He asks and I laughed lightly.

“I didn’t do anything I just need a ride Ray.” I say and he sighed a little as Mr. S picked up the water glass and carried it out of the room. He was going back into the kitchen I suppose…

“Where are you?” Ray asks a little annoyed and I lowered my voice a little.

“I'm at Mr. Samuels house.” I tell him and he cried out sharply.

“You're what?! Why?!” He says and I sighed a little trying to keep my voice down. I still wasn’t sure what was going on…

“I don’t know Ray.” I tell him and he scoffed a little. “I was kinda kidnapped.” I whisper into the phone and Ray laughed.

“Elle come on.” He says and I bit my lip again.

“I'm not kidding.” I hiss into the phone and Ray laughed again. “Please I'm not kidding Ray, I need you to listen to me.” I insist as Mr. Samuel comes back in…

“You're serious.” Ray says his voice kinda anxious now.

“Yeah I'm serious. I just. I can’t talk now. I just need you to pick me up. Please.” I tell him trying to keep my composure together.

“Where are you?” He asks and before I could say I'm at Mr. Samuels house again, Ray pipes up with “I need an address Elle.”

“Oh.” I tell him and I look over at Mr. S. “Mmm what's the address here?” I say and he kinda just stared at me a second like he wasn’t sure what to say.

“I can drop you where you need to go.” Mr. S says and I suppose Ray heard him.

“I'm calling the police Elle.” Ray says and I panic.

“No don’t call the police!” I cry into the phone. I had had enough of the police to last me a lifetime. And I wasn’t going to involve them until I knew exactly what was going on. I mean Mr Samuel was right in a way. And who are they going to believe, a now homeless druggie or an established guidance consular? I glance back at Mr. S who looked a little panic stricken too.

“Its 643 Maple Drive, at the corner of Tablot Ave.” Mr. S says and I guess Ray heard him once again cause he tells me he knows where it is and he’ll be here in a few minutes, to just ‘sit tight’…

I hung up with Ray and sat back down on the couch and rubbed my eyes a little. Mr. S just stood in front of me with his arms crossed on his chest, looking down at me.

“What?” I say a little confused still.

“Youre so much like your mother you have no idea.” He says and I shrug a little.

“Please do not talk about my mother.” I tell him for what felt like the millionth time. He just kinda looked at me like he always does. Like he doesn’t get it… “I can not stand to hear you talk about her.” I tell him and he frowned slightly.

“I'm sorry you feel that way.” He says and I smirk at him.

“No you're not.” I snap at him. “Don’t you get how torturous it is for me to hear you speak about her?” I ask and he kinda took a step back into the other room. “You fucking never tell me shit.” I yell over at him squeezing my eyes shut. I could feel myself losing control of my emotions but I couldn’t help it…

“Elle.” I hear him say as he stepped back into the room but I wouldn’t look at him.

”No, all you do is taunt me with these little bits about her and I just cant take it anymore.” I tell him and I hear a hollow thud and I open my eyes back up. He had dropped the box of photos he gave me in his office on to the table…

“Bits?” He says and I frowned a little disgusted with myself... How could I say such mean things to him…? “You never came for them yesterday.” He says as I picked the box up off the table and stared down into it.

“I got distracted.” I tell him and he just smirked at me.

“Is that what you call it?” He says and I rolled my eyes.

“I wasn’t high. I didn’t miss our ‘meeting’ cause I was high” I tell him a little annoyed.

“Don’t lie to me.” He says and I frowned. He wasn’t gonna let me explain myself… And its not like I even could if I wanted to…“That’s exactly how it started with your mother Elle, and I cant stomach watching it happen to you too.” He says and I sighed a little as I pulled one of the photos from the box. It was a picture of my mom and of Mr. S and of some real pretty black haired girl…

I ran my hand along the image as Mr. S sat down next to me. I glanced up at the clock. Ray should be here any minute… I just wanted to take my box and get the fuck out of here already…

“She was really beautiful.” Mr. Samuel says softly leaning over slightly and looking at the picture in my hand.

“Yeah she was.” I kinda sighed in agreement.

“You look an awful lot like her.” Mr. S says his voice suddenly taking on a strange tone. It kinda made the hairs on my arm stand up… I turned my head a little to look over at him and my hair swung down into my face.

He reached over and kinda brushed it away. His hand grazing against my cheek softly and I got this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. Like when he tugged on the hem of my dress that day… something just wasn’t right, they way he was looking at me… it was just kinda uncomfortable…

I know he had a thing for my mother. And no matter how much I may look like her, I am not her. And there's no way that me and him are ever gonna... Fuck. Where the hell is Ray?! Mr. Samuel licked his lip a little and shifted forward and I instantly shifted back slightly. I mean there's no way I was gonna kiss him! I don’t even know if that’s what he was thinking but I wasn’t gonna take the chance…He was way to close for my liking…

“Um yeah.” I say shaking my head a little at him as I shifted back some more…”So that’s you?” I say pointing to what was obviously him in the picture…

“Mm-hmm.” He says and it was apparent he was still kinda distracted by something… He got up and looked out the window and then sat back down again. “Elle how would you like to keep everything in that box?” He gestures at it like we were on lets make a deal. Which was stupid cause he already said I could keep it all didn’t he?

“What?” I shifted slightly in my seat, sliding the box closer on my lap now.

“Elle a long time ago I gave your mother a teddy bear.” He says and I wrinkled my face as I listened. “It was while we were dating and its very sentimental to me. I was hoping that you had it.” He stared at me for a second but I didn’t respond. “it’s a very unique looking bear with a little bow tie…”

Holy hell he was talking about bow-bow. I had this intense desire to jump up and tell him I knew exactly what he was talking about but I didn’t. Maybe it was the drugs. Maybe it was just my common sense kicking in finally. What the fuck did everyone have a hard on for my bow-bow for? Gerard opened him… there was nothing inside. Maybe Mr S was sincere….

“Well?” Mr S says and I blinked a few times before responding.

“Um I don’t know.” I lie. “My moms got some boxes in the attic. I guess I can look through them.” I shrugged and he seemed pleased with that response.

“You know if you find the bear I also have a box like that with some of your fathers things.” He tempted me and I bit at it eagerly.

“You know my father?” I asked softly afraid that if I said it too loud he wouldn’t answer…

“Of course I know Nicky.” Mr. S replies and then he got that look. The oh shit I said too much look. “But you stay away from him.” He adds roughly and I frowned.

“Fuck you! I’ll talk to whoever I want!” I yell at him and he frowned and I didn’t really care. “You cant tell me what to do- you're not my father- Nicky is.” I snap at him. I didn’t even know if what I was saying was true. But it felt so good to say Nicky. “Nicky is my father and Ill speak to him if and when I want”

“Elle I am warning you.” Mr pointed harshly at me. He was all wound up about something, I wasn’t sure what, but it was like he was too distracted to realize what he was saying to me… “He's the lowest kind of scum and filth in this world and you’ll do best to stay away from him.” Mr. S tells me and I can feel myself swell with anger at his words for a man that I didn’t even know…

“Don’t say things like that! That’s not true!” I cry out.

“It is true Elle.” Mr. Samuel shakes his head at me a little as he sat back down on the table in front of me. “He never loved your mother, he was just using her, no matter what they tell you.” He says and I frowned. I was getting kinda lost in the conversation again…

“whos they-“ I try to say but he just kept talking over me, he was all wound up.

“When your mother told him he was pregnant you know what he said?” He starts to kinda yell at me and I just looked at him blankly. “He said he didn’t care.” He scoffs at me. “He sold her out Elle, time and time again, He never cared for her Elle and he never cared for you.” He says and my eyes started welling up with tears.

“That’s not true.” I argue weakly… I mean it just couldn’t be true…

“Why was he never around then Elle?” Mr. S laughs a little and I frowned.

“I don’t know.” I replied sadly.

“Elle your grandfather gave him a choice.” Mr. S says and I looked at him quizzically. “The money or you.” He says and I shook my head no… that never happened… “You know what he chose?” Mr. S says and I tensed up.

“No that never happened.” I insist.

”I'm sorry Elle but it did... It’s the truth.” He replies back softly and he reached over and put his hand on my thigh and I just let him kinda stroke my leg.

“No its not.” I say under my breath, refusing to believe him. He kinda sighed a little.

“Elle, you know I asked your mother to marry me when I found out she was pregnant. That’s when I gave her that bear.” He added softly and I continued to just look at the floor.

“What did she say?” I reply stupidly.

“She said no.” He says and I nodded. Well of course she said no… Fuck are you stupid Elle. I mean your mom was never married to Mr. Samuel…

“She didn’t love you.” I tell him and a look of hurt kinda passed on his face.

“No she just foolishly held out hope for your father.” He sighs and I bit my lip a little thinking about what he said. “She thought he would change and he didn’t, and you wanna give him a chance too don’t you?” He says and I frown a little.

“I don’t know.” I say weakly and he kinda squeezed my thigh. Then he put his other hand on my other leg and I just let him… How could my father not want me? I mean am I that unlovable? I am that stupid to think that maybe he thought of me... I always held out hope that there was some reason, some thing holding him back from me. But now I dont know what to think... I dont know what to feel...

“Elle, I see you sitting here with the same look in your eye.” Mr. Samuel says, his voice lower now and I look back up at him, my eyes locking on his. “You're so much like her…" He says and I feel my heart tighten up.

"Am I?" I ask soflty.

"Mm-hmm." He sighs a little as he slid his hands, moving them higher up on my legs now. "So very much like her." He says as he breaks his eyes away from mine and runs them down my body... “So young, so innocent...so very beautiful…” He whispers and I felt his hands graze along the hem of my dress as he leant forward sliding them slightly up my skirt...

I should've pushed his hands off me. I should've said something… but I didn’t…