FicWad

I mean the place was so fucking crowded, and I was so fucking short, I couldn’t really see where Brian was pointing. But I didn’t really have to see to know that it was Mr. Samuel… I mean Gerard started clenching his hand so tightly around mine that he almost broke my fingers…

“Ah!” I cried out in pain and he gasped a little as he let go.

“Aw sorry baby.” He says and I shrugged a little as I rubbed my injured fingers…

“It’s him right?” I ask and Gerard didn’t answer, he just muttered some obscenities under his breath. The he took a step like he was gonna go over there. “Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing?” I called out grabbing his arm and stopping him.

“Elle.” He tells me like it’s one of those things that I shouldn’t argue with him about. Like he’s gonna do it anyway cause he knows what’s best…

“Nuh-uh.” I scold him. I mean he’s usually right, but not about this. “You can’t go over there Gerard.” I tell him and he smirked a little.

“Why the hell not?” He replies.

“Well first of all, it’s none of your fucking business.” I tell him. “And secondly, Lia’s 18. She can date who ever the fuck she wants.” I try to reason with him. Mostly cause I know Lia. If everyone starts telling her she can’t date him… fuck she’ll probably marry him to just show she can…

“Yeah I know she’s 18.” Gerard snaps at me and I frowned a little. He was getting all worked up over this and I wasn’t sure why…I mean I didn’t like the idea of Lia with him either, but the way he was carrying on made me doubt his feelings for her… I mean does he have feelings for her? Maybe something more happened between then on Halloween then either one of them had let on…I mean this is just like with Jessica…I hated to see him worry about another girl.. “How long has this shit been going on?” Gerard turns and asks Brian roughly.

“Hmph.” Brian kinda shrugged like he wasn’t quite sure and Gerard made a face at his lack of knowledge I suppose… But I mean what the fuck? Brian’s not Lia’s keeper... And what the hell is Gerard’s problem anyway? Well I guess Gerard must’ve said something back, but I don’t know. I wasn’t really paying attention… I was trying to stand up on my tiptoes to peek around Gerard to see Mr. Samuel for myself… I mean Gerard said it was him and all, and I believed him, but I don’t know… I still wanted see… I guess I'm just nosy like that.

“Sit the fuck down Elle.” Gerard tells me as he kinda pushed me down on to the stool… Fuck… Mr. Bossy was back… He only gets like that too, when he's like stressed… Like he’s trying to keep control or something…

“Yeah, I know what you’re saying man.” Brian tells Gerard, just fucking carrying on their conversation like I wasn’t there… Like I wasn’t pouting on my stool now.... “But I looked in to it. Unless like Lia was like to complain or something. Or her parents complained, there’s really nothing they can do about it.” Brian says and Gerard frowns once more. “Its illegal but-“ Brian starts to say and I cut him off.

“Illegal?” I ask a little shocked…What the hell was he talking about?

“Yeah Elle, it’s illegal.” Brian tells me and I make a face. I was so fucking confused…

“No it’s not. Lia’s 18.” I point out to them both once more. Gerard just kinda sighed like he was a little annoyed with me.

“She's 18 now Elle.” He tells me. “Like as of yesterday, like as of before then she wasn’t.” He tells me and I thought about it for a second… Fuck he was right… Lia was under age up until a few hours ago…Fuck…

“Well maybe he didn’t know that.” I try to defend Mr. Samuel and Gerard just fucking clenched his jaw a little and looked past me and didn’t say anything…

“Naw he knew Elle.” Brian tells me. “I told him the first fucking time I saw him hanging around her.” He tells me and I didn’t say anything… I mean what could I say… “He just likes younger girls I guess.” Brian adds and Gerard snickers a little…

“Well then I don’t know…Cause I know Lia’s parents don’t give a shit and Lia’s certainly not gonna complain.” I shrugged as I watched Gerard glare over at what I had to assume was Mr. Samuel since I still couldn’t see…

“Yeah then she's fucking stupid.” Gerard mumbles and I gasp a little.

“What?” I ask him and he turns his attention back on me.

“She's stupid for not complaining.” He tells me and I felt my eyes well up with tears.

“Gerard how could you say that?” I tell him holding back my tears and he shrugged.

“Elle come on, he broke the law.” Brian starts in now too… “He's a fucking pervert and he should be locked up.” He says and I just frowned slightly. “What kinda girl would let him get away that?” Brian cries out and I found myself looking down at the floor at a complete loss for words…

“A stupid one.” Gerard replies and I look back up at him totally crushed…

“You think I'm stupid?” I ask him and he just looked at me. I mean didn’t blink, didn’t do anything. Just stared right at me for a second…

“I didn’t say that.” He says but it was too late… I mean I could feel the tears running silently down my cheek as he spoke…

“Uh excuse me a sec.” Brian says as he suddenly jumped up off his stool. I don’t know if there was some kinda problem he had to handle or if he just didn’t want to be in the middle of our fight…

“You did say that.” I tell Gerard as he just calmly stood in front of me.

“No because you don’t seem to think that anything wrong happened.” He says and I nodded.

“That’s cause it didn’t.” I tell him firmly and he shrugged.

“So then I'm not talking about you.” He replies. “I said if something happens and the girl doesn’t speak up she's stupid.” He declares and I just frowned… He was trying to trick me or something, I wasn’t sure what he was doing but I didn’t like it…”But since you say nothing happened...” He continued on shrugging slightly and I bit my lip a little as he spoke…

“That’s what I said.” I repeat once more.

“Then.” He shrugs. “Unless maybe you’re feeling like maybe you were wrong.” He suggests and I feel my heart tightening up… “I mean maybe that’s why my words cut so deep cause you know they're true.” He says and I jump up off the stool and kinda push him out of my way.

“Fuck you Gerard.” I snapped at him.

“Elle don’t walk away from me.” He says roughly grabbing my arm and yanking me back.

“Get the fuck off me!” I yell out louder then I meant to… I mean I don’t know why I do that… You think I would’ve learned my lesson, but no, I never learn.

”Hey! There some kinda problem?” Jimmy the bartender yells over at us, looking a little concerned and Gerard drops his hands from me as Jimmy reached under the counter…

“No were okay.” I tell him quickly as I waved over at him like I was fine and all and he did nod back. But I don’t know if he believed me cause he just continued to stand there watching us out of the corner of his eye… Fuck me and my big mouth. I'm gonna end up getting Gerard in trouble again... Why don’t I ever know when to fucking shut up?

“Elle sit down now.” Gerard kinda hissed at me and I smirked.

“Fuck you.” I reply crossing my arms on my chest and he took a deep breath and didn’t answer me for a second…

“Just sit.” He says once more as he shifted his eyes a little… Like he couldn’t even look at me…and I could feel my temper escalating as well…

“Stop fucking bossing me around, just leave me the fuck alone.” I tell him poking him roughly in the chest and he didn’t even flinch.

“That’s what you want?” He says and I nodded as I turned my back to him and took a step forward. “You walk away, I'm not coming after you.” He says and I shrugged a little.

“Good.” I replied as I walked away from him… I just needed to get out of there. I needed to be alone. I just needed to think, to get some air or something…I just had too many thoughts conflicting in my head…

What was right? What was wrong? What was I imagining and what was really real? How could I accuse Mr. Samuel of doing something wrong if I wasn’t sure that he did? But why does everyone else seem so sure he was wrong? And does it even really matter anymore?

I guess I was so lost in my thoughts I wasn’t watching where I was going and I ran smack into some guy who was coming in to the bar as I was trying to leave.

“Hey slow down, where’s the fire?.” The guy says kinda laughing as he grabbed me and steadied me back on my feet. I mean I really smacked in to him pretty fucking hard. But cause he was like twice the size of me I guess he didn’t really feel it… But I did and I felt bad, I mean I didn’t know the guy. Never seen him before in my life and I almost ran him down.

“Uh sorry.” I mumbled pulling back from him slightly…

“You all right there?” He says leaning over and kinda looking my face over and I kinda nodded uncomfortably as I took another step back. I mean he was still like awfully close to me… Like unnecessarily close to me still… And he kinda smelled like alcohol, like hard alcohol…But I don’t know. I think maybe he thought I was one of the dancers and I couldn’t really blame him the way I was fucking dressed… But still the way he was looking at me just made my skin crawl…I don’t know how Lia could stomach being on stage like that. With all these guys fucking leering and shit… It just made me sick…

“Excuse me.” I said weakly as I kinda tried to go around him but he leant to the side blocking the doorway a little so I couldn’t go past.

“Not so fast.” He tells me and I just looked up at him a little startled…“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you here before?” He tells me and I shook my head no. “What’s you're name?” He says and I just stared at him blankly… “Aw come on, you don’t know you're own name?” He laughs.

“Yeah no um. Its Elle, but uh…” I stammered a little. I mean I guess he was trying to pick me up or something. I don’t really know what the hell he wanted from me…but he was so fucking out of luck it wasn’t even funny.

“Well Elle, you wanna party?” He says grinning at me as he flashes me a small bag of white powder in his hand and I felt my eyes light up and my pulse quicken at the sight of it…

I think maybe I do…

I do wanna party…