FicWad

Everyone else had left since they were done changing and class was starting, but I was still lacing up my sneakers…. Shit I was so fucking slow… and I was definitely gonna be late, but that was nothing new… But something else was still kinda off though, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it until I was actually walking into the gymnasium… I mean I had never really been alone in the locker room before… I mean someone’s always in there…

“Aw fuck!” I mumbled to myself suddenly realizing what it was that was so different today.

It was Jessica!

She wasn’t in there this time hanging over my shoulder like she normally was! I glanced around the room and quickly spotted her on the far side of the gym…She must’ve change in record time too, cause I didn’t even see her in the locker room at all…I mean usually she stalls a lot, reties her shoes a couple times, shifts the crap in her locker around, shit like that -just so she can fucking spy on me I suppose.

I honestly don't know why she fucking hangs over my shoulder like that, she just does…but noooo, not today. Oh no, today she was already in the gym, not hanging on my shoulder.

No, no, no. It was so much worse then that… The bitch was hanging on my Bobby!

Like physically hanging over his shoulder as they sat on the bleachers. I mean it looked like she was trying to show him her watch or something, I don't know… What a fucking slut! And I mean him not her…He was just letting her hang on him like that! I think he kinda liked it too. I mean she was pressing her breasts up against him and he was sorta smiling. Like he was enjoying it! Ahhh what a bitch she is! Seriously, she never showed the least bit of interest in him until she found out we were married! …

Or did she? Fuck. I stood by the doorway just kinda watching them…Damn it… Bob seemed so fucking happy, and I loved to see him happy. He deserved a girl that was gonna make him happy. But Jessica?

Fuck… I always thought Jessica was a slut, and she honestly is, but she did flirt with Bob before she knew about ‘us’ and Bob always did flirt back with her… And then that whole thing that happened after the dance, where Bob told me I would get mad if he told me the truth… Shit, I wonder if the truth is that it’s Jessica he likes… But that would mean that Bob lied to me and he swore he’d never lie to me… Fuck, maybe he really does like Jessica and he's just too afraid to tell me after that scene that I made…

“Damn it!” I cursed softly as I went and sat on the bottom row of the bleachers. I was kinda alone in the corner, away from the rest of the class but I didn’t care. I mean normally I hated being alone. It terrifies me- but now, right now it was exactly where I wanted to be… Where I needed to be to clear my thoughts at least…cause even if he did like her, even if he still does like her, it doesn’t matter -Jessica is no good for him… she's just not… And I don't even think she really likes him back anyway…

I kinda glanced back over at them… Jessica was smiling too and she looked sincere, she really did… fuck, maybe she does like him… I don't fucking know…. I mean the way she was going on about him in study this morning…

Okay, so lets say she really does like him, and honestly, I couldn’t blame her. Bob is a great guy, but I know for an absolute fact that she still has feelings for Gerard. I mean it’s so fucking obvious that she wants him back! So what kind of a slut does that make her? I mean she wants both Gerard and Bob?!

“Bitch…” I found myself muttering softly as I looked over at her.

Well fuck her! She can’t fucking have Gerard back. He's mine now! Bob is mine too! They're both mine! And yes, I do know how hypocritical that sounds but I don't care… I could feel myself getting so very upset, quite unexpectedly too… I quickly turned so I wouldn’t be facing them anymore.

My feelings were swelling up so quickly inside me now. I felt like I was losing control and I wasn’t sure why. Maybe that pill Gerard gave me was wearing off or something…But everything just felt so raw…And I wasn’t sure exactly what it was that was bothering me… I don't have to justify myself to Jessica that’s for damn sure! But it was more like the fact that I couldn’t justify, let alone explain my feelings for Bob to myself that was bothering me…

“You okay honey?” I heard Bobs voice say softly and I turned and peeked over my shoulder at him. He had ditched Jessica I guess and came to sit with me…

“Oh um, yeah I was just thinking.” I sighed a little and he nodded.

“Yeah, I had talked to Ray before.” He says and I shrugged. That means he knows what happened at lunch…

“It wasn’t about that.” I tell him and he looked at me quizzically.

“Then what?” He asked and I just blurted out the truth.

“I was thinking about you and how much I love you…”

“Aw I love you too honey.” He says with out missing a beat and I smiled.

“Yeah I know Bobby, but I wanna ask you something.” I say softly and he sorta nodded. “You gotta promise to tell the truth though.” I tell him and he tried not to smile.

“I always tell you the truth Elle.” He says and I nodded.

“Yeah no I mean you got to promise to answer.” I tell him and he sorta smirked. He knew what I was saying. Whenever he didn’t want to lie to me he would just not answer, so like that way he wasn’t lying and he didn’t have to say something he didn’t want to either… He was a sneaky bitch my Bobby, and he knew it too…

“Well what's it about?” He says still not committing to an answer.

“Jessica.” I say plainly and he laughed.

“Aw Elle, are you still on that! I told you a fucking million times already! I know how you feel about her.” He says trying to sound lighthearted, but the frustration was evident in his voice.

“No Bob, I changed my mind.” I tell him and he kinda cocked his head to the side slightly and looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language all of a sudden. “I mean I still don't like her, but I don't want to be the reason that like you're not with her.” I tell him and he sighed.

“Elle, that’s not-” He tries to say but I wouldn’t let him talk.

“No Bob, just listen to me for a second okay?” I tell him and he nodded silently. “I just… I love you so much and it was so selfish of me to tell you not to date her, like I want you to be happy you know?” I say and he nods once more. “Like if you were to date Jessica, it would totally piss me off but I want you to be happy….so go ahead and date Jessica if its what you want.” I tell him and he sorta shook his head no.

“Elle, I'm not gonna-“ He starts to say and once more I cut him off.

“No Bobby, you don't understand. I'm telling you that like I want you to be happy like more then I want myself to be happy- that’s how much I love you.” I tell him and he tried not to smile. “You get what I'm saying Bob?” I ask him and he nodded.

“Well yeah Elle, that’s what I feel for you.” He says and I shook my head no… He just wasn’t getting it…

“I'm trying to say like even if I don't agree with your choices I'm still gonna stand by you cause I love you.” I tell him and he sorta laughed.

“Yeah I get it Elle, that’s what I do for you, you know?” He says and I frowned.

“You think I've made bad choices?” I ask him and he shook his head no quickly.

“No that’s not what I'm saying.” He tells me and I looked at him a bit untrustingly…

“But you would tell me if you thought I was right?” I say to him and he nods. “Well then I don't get it.” I say a little frustratedly and he sorta smiled.

“It’s all right Elle.” He says but it really wasn’t. I mean I didn’t understand what the fuck he was saying and I wasn’t sure if he understood what I was saying…

“But you get what I'm saying?” I ask him and he nodded. “Like if you're happy dating these girls then… I mean it just hurts me to think that you're not happy cause of me Bob.” I tell him and he sorta smiled.

“I don't ever want to see you not happy Elle, not ever.” He says as he looked right into my eyes and I broke my gaze from his and nudged his arm lightly.

“So you gonna ask Jessica out then?” I ask cautiously and he laughed.

“Uh we’ll see…” He replied and I shrugged. I mean that was all I could really do you know? Just let him know I was gonna support him. But I'm not really sure that he understood how hard it was for me to commit to such a thing…

I mean I never really badmouthed his choices of dates to his face. Well, okay sometimes I did. But he never really understood the full extent of my feelings about them… And I wasn’t gonna keep pushing Bob to find that ‘special someone’ anymore. I mean I wasn’t giving up, oh no. I’ll never give up on that. Bob deserves someone special, but I wasn’t gonna keep pushing the issue with him. If he was happy slutting around with the neighborhood whores, then so be it. Fuck. I’ll even help him…

“Well, if not Jessica then um you may wanna ask out Brittney. I hear she puts out.” I tell him and he laughed sharply.

“Elle!” He rolled his eyes slightly at me.

“What I'm just trying to help!” I laughed and he did too.

“Okay please don't.” He teases me as he grabbed my hand and helped me up off the bleachers just as Jessica came over. We were supposed to be playing some kinda game with a ball that I didn’t really understand the rules to, but it didn’t really matter cause Bob always covered for me.

“Uh you guys mind if I pair up with you?” Jessica asks sweetly and I glanced around the gym. I guess there was an odd number of kids again or something. She usually pairs up with Joey what's his name but not today…

Apparently Jessica wanted to play with us today and I had to tell her it was fine. I mean I meant what I said before about supporting Bob, I really did. It was gonna be hard cause Jessica was such a bitch but I was gonna do it for him…

We were playing with those fucking rackets again, the ones with those little feather balls that I can’t seem to hit for the life of me… And then by some freaking miracle I managed to hit it! Granted it was in the wrong direction, but I squealed in delight as it went flying up in the air over my head. Jessica made a face at me, but Bob laughed as the little feathered ball went flying up and into the bleachers.

“That was real good Elle, just next time aim in this direction.” He laughed and I shrugged.

“Aw Bobby now you're asking too much!” I teased him as I took a step towards the bleachers to go retrieve my ball.

“Naw I’ll get it honey.” Bob says stopping me and I just let him go get it. Jessica waited for him to get a few feet from us before turning on me.

“Elle I wanted to tell you I was sorry about this morning.” She says feigning sweetness and I took a short breath before answering her.

“About what?” I asked although I sorta knew what she was getting at.

“About asking about your ring.” She says and I shrugged, fuck she was really something else. I mean she waited for Bob to leave so she could ‘apologize’ but she wasn’t apologizing! She was just trying to stir shit up again…

“Its not a big deal.” I tell her trying to downplay it and honestly it really wasn’t… I mean I had so many other problems and in a way I was sort of grateful to her for bringing it up in front of Gerard like that. I don't know if I would’ve had the nerve to confront him on it like that if it wasn’t for her.

“I cant fucking find it.” Bob grumbles as he comes back over empty handed.

“What do you mean you cant find it Bob!” I laughed. “It went right over the top! I saw it!” I exclaimed and he shrugged.

“Well it’s gone honey.” He says and I frowned.

“Mmm, you think Coach Marcia will give us another one?” I ask coyly and Bob smiled.

“Well, if she does I’ll tell you one thing-“ Bob says wagging his finger at me. “You're gonna go fucking sit your ass on the bleachers while we play.” He says gesturing to Jessica and himself.

“Ha!” I laughed at him, like he was gonna punish me by making me sit out! Like I wanted to fucking play or something!

“I’ll go ask Bobby.” Jessica says and I rolled my eyes a little as she jogged off towards Coach Marcia.

“What?” Bob laughed and I shrugged.

“Bobby?” I said softly and he smiled.

“Oh you have it copyrighted I suppose?” He laughed and I shrugged.

“I should!” I teased him back. “But just promise me one thing Bobby” I tell him and he sighed a little.

“What now?” He asks like he was afraid to hear the answer.

“Just promise you’ll never ever, and I mean ever! call her honey…”