FicWad

Gerard silently tugged me across the entire parking lot. We didn’t stop till we reached the back of my truck and then even when we got there he didn’t say anything for a moment… I mean its not like was waiting for more privacy or anything since there wasn’t that many cars left in the lot now. I think he just didn’t know what to say…

I took a quick look around and I could see Bobs car. It was parked quite a bit away from us, almost totally across the lot actually. Frankie was sitting on the hood of it, waiting for Bob I suppose. I mean I guess Gerard told him the same crap he told me about us having to do all this shit immediately after school and all; so I couldn’t understand why we were just hanging around now…

But whatever. I guess Bob was gonna bring Frankie home and I didn’t really care. And Mikey was standing over there with him too. And they both fucking saw us, but neither one made any kinda movement like they were gonna come over.

“Elle I don't understand why you don't get this.” Gerard finally says and I see him patting his pockets lightly. He was looking for his keys, well my keys… I guess he forgot I took them back from him this morning. I pulled them from my pocket and he reached his hand out like maybe he thought I was gonna just hand them to him but I wasn’t.

“I‘m gonna drive remember?” I tell him and he pressed his lips together but didn’t say anything to me, instead he turned to Bob as I unlocked the doors.

I couldn’t really hear what he was saying to him either since he lowered his voice down significantly. I think it was about tomorrow though cause I heard Bob say something about talking to him in the morning.

“Wait aren’t you coming with us to the funeral Bob?” I asked him as I took my book bag back from him.

“Uh no Elle, I got some things to do.” He says and I frowned a little. I mean I kinda wanted him to come. In a weird way I sort of needed him. I mean I was so freaked about talking to Jeff’s parents and I could really use his support but then again at the same time I so did not want him there! Mostly cause I was still worried about him and Paul getting into it…

“You sure?” I asked him and he nodded repeatedly.

“Yeah I'm just gonna bring Frankie and Mikey home.” He says and I sighed softly. Eh, it was probably better Bob wasn’t coming, seeing as I had enough to worry about as it was...

“Yeah all right I guess. But um, can you tell Mikey that like I'm sorry about not bringing him to the library?” I tell him and Gerard looked at me out of the corner of his eye.

“Wait, you were gonna bring Mikey to the library?” Gerard interrupts me and I shrugged. I mean I had never told him about me asking Mikey to help me find out crap on my dad but it didn’t really matter now.

“Uh, yeah I was, but whatever.” I say brushing Gerard off slightly as I turned my attention back to Bob, “ Look, just tell him I said sorry okay Bob?” I ask Bob again and he nodded. “Oh and tell him what Pete just said too okay?” I add and Gerard reached over and took my bag from me now and tossed it into the truck with out uttering a single word.

But I knew he was sorta pissed. Even though he didn’t say it, I could see it on him. I mean I know he didn’t like me including Mikey. I think in a weird way he was sort of protecting him, like he did for me, but Mikey was smart and he knew how to handle himself… Sometimes I think Gerard doesn’t give him enough credit. Like he's always gonna be his dorky little baby brother no matter how old he gets…

“Yeah sure that’s no problem Elle.” Bob replies and I smiled. I knew I could count on my Bobby. I always could…

“Thanks Bob, and don't you forget to call me later okay?” I remind him and he shrugged like he wasn’t gonna commit to it. “Aw come on Bobby you know I can’t sleep unless I hear your voice.” I tease him and he smiled at me.

“Well if that’s the case then I guess I have no choice.” Bob teased me right back and I laughed. “So tell me honey where you gonna be sleeping tonight?” He says and all of a sudden there was a loud bang behind us and I jumped slightly startled. I turned around to see what happened and the best I could figure was that Gerard seemed to have accidentally slammed the trucks door shut.

“Gerard!” I scolded him a little. I mean he knows I hate when he slams shit around like that. Especially my shit…

“Aw sorry Elle.” He mumbled half-heartedly as he stepped closer to me.

“Well Bob was asking like where we’re gonna go tonight.” I tell him half assuming that he was gonna say his house but he didn’t, much to my surprise.

“Oh uh, we’re probably gonna go to the hotel man.” Gerard tells him and I just looked at him in awe.

“We are?” I asked and he nodded.

“Well yeah Elle, I thought about what you said.” Gerard says and I looked at him a little confused. “You know about being able to make all the noise we want.” He says slyly as he grabbed the waistband of my jeans and pulled me dangerously close to him. “And I'm gonna make you scream for me tonight.” He says and I giggled as he bit down on my neck.

“Gerard!” I laughed trying to push him off, but my efforts were weak at best. I don't know what I was thinking this morning. He did want me still! It was so freaking obvious too. I don't know what's wrong with me sometimes… One night he doesn’t touch me and I just automatically jump to the worst possible conclusion…

“Uh I’ll catch you guys later.” I heard Bob say and before I could even answer him back he was gone. And no sooner then Bob was gone Gerard dropped his hands from me.

“You sure you wanna drive Elle?” He says and I nodded. “Then lets go.” He says winking at me and I smiled.

“Why you don't think I can drive?” I ask him jokingly as I started the truck up and he smiled.

“No, it’s just… I wanted to talk to you.” He says and I glanced over at him as I backed out slowly.

“So talk.” I tell him and he paused a moment to light his cigarette up.

“It’s about John.” He says and I tried not to squirm.

“You mean Mr. S.” I reply and he shrugged.

“Whatever you want to call him.” He says snidely and I kept my eyes focused on the road ahead of us. Yeah I know Gerard’s got a bunch of names for him and I had heard most of them already, fuck half the state probably heard them the way he was carrying on in front of the strip club like that…

“Gerard just cause you don't like him doesn’t make him guilty.” I say keeping my voice low and Gerard coughed lightly.

“Okay that’s not why I think he's guilty Elle, but that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.” He says and I shrugged.

“Then what?” I asked and he coughed once more.

“I want to know why you don't think he did anything wrong.” He says and I felt myself unconsciously gripping the steering wheel tighter but I didn’t answer him. “And don't give me that shit about you asking for it cause we both know that that’s bullshit.” He says and I sighed a little.

“But it’s true.” I say weakly and he shook his head in disagreement.

“Elle lemme tell you something.” He says raising his voice up and I guess he saw me tense up cause he quickly lowered it back down and took a deep breath before speaking again. “Okay, even if that’s true baby.” He says softly and I nodded. “Look what happened with Frankie.” He says and I scrunched my face slightly.

“Frankie?” I repeat back a little confused.

“Well yeah, you threw yourself at Frankie –no?” He says and I sorta nodded. I mean threw myself at him? It was more like begged him! but I wasn’t gonna point that out now…

“Uh yeah, I suppose.” I say faintly and Gerard nodded and continued talking.

“And even Frankie, the little horny fuck that he is, even he knew better.” Gerard says and I couldn’t help but smile at his words.

“Gerard!” I sorta laughed and he smiled too.

“I'm saying Elle, even he knows the difference between right and wrong.” Gerard tells me and I rolled my eyes slightly.

“Okay first I think you're giving Frankie WAY too much credit.” I tell him and he smiled. “You're making it sound like he's so noble or something and believe me that wasn’t the reason why he said no.” I tell Gerard and he grinned at me.

“Then what was it.” He says and I shrugged.

“Just forget it.” I tell him and he arched his eyebrows up at me.

“Naw you tell me.” Gerard says as he reached over and tickled my side lightly and I jumped, jerking the wheel to the left sharply. “You keeping secrets from me baby?” He teased me reaching over to tickle me once again.

“Fuck Gerard!” I cried out and he laughed. “I'm driving! come on don't do that to me!” I tell him anxiously and he looked at me remorsefully.

“Aw I'm sorry baby.” He says and I half expected him to take a jab at my driving abilities or lack thereof but he didn’t… “So then tell me.” He insists.

“Oh I don't know he umm said he was afraid Bob would kick his ass.” I tell him absentmindedly as I tried to adjust my mirrors and Gerard laughed.

“What?” I asked him glancing over at him to see what he was laughing at and he just shook his head at me like it wasn’t important… Either that or he didn’t think I would get it. “Mmm tell me what's so funny.” I whined but he didn’t. He just picked up the conversation from where he left off before.

“Anyway Elle,” He says shifting the conversation back. “My point is that even a little fucker like Frankie knows what's right and wrong. Mr. S is a trained professional... He fucking played you.” He tells me and I frowned… He knew how I felt about that, I think that’s why he said it…

Cause like he knows I hate to think people take advantage of me... Honest mistakes I can forgive in a heartbeat, no questions asked. But purposeful deceit? That’s something that I can’t let go…

“Gerard.” I said softly and he mashed his cigarette out and immediately lit another one.

“It’s true.” He says and I swallowed nervously but didn’t answer him. “You think back the first time you met him, he's done nothing but lie, he's been setting you up, giving you bits of information, making you think he was helping you and he wasn’t.” He says and I could feel my eyes welling up with tears but I wouldn’t let myself cry. Not while I was driving at least…

“Why would he do that?” I ask timidly and Gerard shrugged.

“I don't know, you think you're grandfather was paying him off too?” Gerard says and I felt this surge of anger building up on me. “Maybe he still owes them for-“ Gerard starts to say and I just lose it.

“Do not even imply that my grandfather was involved in this.” I say to him harshly and he sighed.

“I'm not Elle.” He says but I could tell by his tone that he didn’t really mean it, that he was just saying it to appease me. “But are you sure you grandpa made all that money.” His tone changing once again.

“Oh god Gerard!” I gasped suddenly at the horrible things he was implying. “Yes.” I tell him firmly.

”You sure?” He replied back quickly.

“Fuck Gerard yeah Im sure.” I tell him completely confident about what I was saying. “My grandpa was an honorable man.” That I was sure of.

“Can you say the same about John Samuel?” He proposes to me and I didn’t say anything for a second. Just stared out the window at the road ahead of me. Watching it start to get blurry from my tears now…

I just didn’t know. Mr Samuel lied to me. That was clear. But was it the hurtful deceitful lies, or the Im doing this to protect you kind? Gerard was waiting for my answer.

“Um I don’t know.” I shifted uncomfortably.

“Well you better decide quick.” He almost seemed to smirk and I looked at him curiously. “Well I mean you do know- Lia is with him…”