FicWad

“The end?” I sorta gasped. That was the last thing on mind. I mean I know all things come to an end sooner or later, but the end of me and Gerard? The thought itself was almost blasphemous…”What do you mean?” I tell him a little panic stricken and he laughed.

“Aw nothing.” He tells me and I lifted myself up and sat upright on top of him once more as I glanced around the room…

What a fucking mess! Some how we ended up undressed. Clothes strewn about. I guess I wasn’t really paying attention before cause I was only in my bra and panties and he was down to his boxer shorts. He must've been tossing shit all over the place...

“Really -don't worry about it Elle.” He tells me trying to pacify me and I shrugged. I wasn't sure if he was referring to the mess, like he knew for a split second I had considered getting up to clean it. Or if he had meant cause of what he said.

And I don't know why I get so lost in my thoughts like that. Why I always panic over the simplest comments. I guess I just cant help myself, I automatically assume the worst and once a thought gets into my head I'm reluctant to let it go…

I just looked down and watched him as he ran his hands along the edge of my bra. He was moving them slowly, purposely almost, like he wanted some kinda reaction from me… I wanted to just scream at him to hurry up and take it off already but I bit my tongue and didn’t say anything. I just sat there completely motionless, wondering how long he was gonna keep teasing me.

I mean I figured one of us was gonna snap and who ever it was, was gonna be at the other ones mercy. And I didn’t know about him but I was gonna hold out as long as I could.

As he sorta sped up his movements I silently cheered to myself, I mean it was sorta a victory for me, but I don't know cause once he cupped my breasts in his hand I got the feeling I was the only one playing the ‘who’s gonna crack first game.’

But what the hell? If he's not playing then what? Why is he just not doing anything? I mean I know why I'm not doing anything –cause I'm trying to win. But if he's not playing then what the hell? Does he not want me? I mean I'm sitting here waiting and he's not doing anything! In fact he had now dropped his hands from my breasts and was resting them on my waist as he looked at me…

I was just about to ask him if there was some kinda problem but it’s a good thing I didn’t cause he spoke first…

“You're so fucking beautiful –I don't even want to touch you.” He tells me as he squeezed my waist and I felt myself sorta blush so lightly that I didn’t think he noticed but he did… “You blushing?” He says like he couldn’t believe it, which only made me blush more.

I leant my head forward so my hair sorta swung in my face and he shifted his hands up on my waist. I knew he was gonna call my name any second, to make me look up at him so I didn’t give him the chance. I lifted my chin up slightly and looked at him sheepishly.

“No.” I tell him but I still felt my cheeks burning, not as badly now, but still… I lowered my eyes back down from him and I heard him sorta chuckle.

“You playing me Elle?” He says and I lifted my eyes back up on to him. He was sorta looking at me like… I don't know… Like he couldn’t quite figure me out.

“What?” I replied with what seemed to be the perfect amount of shock in my voice.

“Come on Elle, you're not that innocent.” He says to me and I found myself extending out my bottom lip slightly, it was quite a pout but it was close enough.

He sorta dropped his jaw open and looked like he was gonna apologize. For what I don't even know. But then I think he saw the bottom corners of my mouth. My lip was slowly turning into a smirk no matter how hard I tried for it not to. And once he saw this –forget it! He grinned which made me smile and he laughed.

“Ohhh! You're bad.” He tells me as he grabbed me off of him. He flipped us over and had pinned me underneath him.

“You gonna spank me Gerard?” I teased him and he laughed.

“Now that’s my Elle.” He says and I felt my cheeks flush at his words once more.

“I'm your Elle?” I sorta whispered back to him as he ran his kisses along my collarbone. I mean he had never called me that before.

“Well who else’s?” He replied and I smiled.

I was his Elle… I don't know why that made me so happy but it did. The thought of belonging to him like that… It was weird. I mean I remember getting upset when Paul would talk to me like that sometimes. Yeah sometimes I thought it was cute but it mostly annoyed the fuck out of me, but yet to hear Gerard say it… It just felt…good…

I wanted to belong. I wanted to be kept safe by him. I wanted to be there when he needed me…I wanted to be all I could for him… I wanted to be his everything.

“Gerard?” I asked him between breaths. I mean he was really picking up the pace now…

“Mmm?” He replied back and for a second I forgot what I was gonna say. I was too busy thinking how ironic it was that I was too busy getting lost in my thoughts about loving him that I was missing out on actually loving him. I mean he was sliding down his shorts now and I didn’t even notice…

“Tell me about Jade.” I say to him as he lowered his body back down onto mine and he paused.

“What?” He replied like he could not believe I just said that.

“Jade.” I repeated back. “Mmm tell me what she was like.” I sorta mumbled as I pulled him back towards me. I buried my face in his neck and either bit down too hard or he was still thrown off by what I said cause he sort of gasped.

“Elle.” He says like he didn’t want to answer me.

“Gerrrrarrrd.” I whined and he went to pull back but I wrapped my legs around him tightly and wouldn’t let him go. “I'm not gonna get mad, I just want to know.” I tell him and he looked at me like I was nuts.

“Right now?” He says and I shrugged. I mean I saw his point. I knew why he was all thrown off! We were about to have sex and I ask him about his ex. Well she actually wasn’t even technically his ex, I didn't even know what you would call her.

“You said she wasn’t like me.” I tell him and he sorta made a face like he didn’t know what I was talking about. “I mean you said I wasn’t like her.” I try to clarify. “I heard you say that I was nothing like her so I wanted to know like how she was.” I tell him and he sorta smiled.

“Didn’t we talk about you eavesdropping?” He says and I tried not to smile.

“I wasn’t!” I exclaimed. “I just happened to over hear.” I try to tell him and he reached over and tickled me.

“That’s eavesdropping baby.” He tells me as I giggled under his touch. “I think I'm gonna have to punish you.” He says slyly and I laughed. Aw fuck. He was trying to distract me and it would’ve worked except I knew him to well…

“Come on just tell me.” I whined at him and he sorta groaned in annoyance.

“Elle why?!” He says a little flustered now and once more I shrugged.

“Cause you said she was something I'm not.” I tell him and maybe it sounded like I was hurt by it but I wasn’t.

“Baby come on.” He says with that pacifying tone and I just shook my head at him to stop. I mean I wasn’t upset.

“No I want to be everything to you Gerard, so tell me what she was that I wasn’t and I can be it.” I tell him determinedly and he smiled.

“Elle you are everything okay?” He says and I frowned at his words. Even though they were sweet and lovely and probably words that every girl wished their guy would tell them but they just pissed me off. “Don't pout.” He tells me and I didn’t realize I was until he had said it.

“If you wanted to know about me and Paul I would tell you.” I tell him and he groaned at me once more.

“Do not bring his name up.” He says and I frowned. Okay maybe that was a bad example, I mean Paul and I dated it wasn’t just casual sex.

“Fine. Or like Jay. I would tell you that if you wanted me to.” I tell him and he made a face at me.

“Joey Marshall?” He says in disgust and I nodded. I mean I slept with Jay-Joey whatever he wanted to call him, plenty of times and he knew it…

“Elle the only reason I even talked to him-“ He says grinding his teeth a little as he spoke. “The thought of him touching you…” He says like the words themselves were a sin. “The only reason I haven’t knocked him on his ass is cause I needed his connections.” He says and I smiled.

“Aw what cause Teddy wasn’t enough?” I teased him.

“Elle, Teddy’s a fucking bear.” He tells me and I giggled. I mean that was what I usually tell him.

“Well still I’d tell you about my ‘Jay ‘ if you tell me about yours.” I tell him and he shook his head no.

“The thought of you and Jay disgusts me.” He says and I could tell he meant it. This night was slowly slipping away. Once more I found myself wishing that I had just kept my mouth shut…

“Well the thought of ‘you’ and your ‘Jay’ turns me on.” I whispered at him and he grinned. And just like that he was back ‘on’. I mean men are so easy sometimes…

“Really?” He says running his hands back down my body and I giggled.

“Well yeah, tell me about her Gerard.” I encourage him and he didn’t say anything he just ran his hand up between my legs, in what was an obvious attempt to distract me. “I mean what does she look like?” I ask him and he sorta gave me a funny look as he pulled my panties down.

“You saw her Elle.” He says and I sorta rolled my eyes. I don't know why he was making this so difficult.

“Yeah I know but I mean, I didn’t really see her -she was dressed. But I did imagine her.” I tell him and he sorta smiled.

“You imagined her undressed?” He grinned at me and I shrugged.

“Uh yeah sure.” I tell him. I mean I really didn’t then, but it seemed to be helping my cause, and I sorta was now, so whatever… “So tell me what did she look like undressed?” I tell him and he grinned.

“I didn’t really undress her Elle.” He says and I scrunched my face a little as I thought about it.

“So that would mean like you just fucked her?” I asked a little confused. I mean I had this whole vision in my head and he was ruining it. I had just assumed he had treated her the way he treats me, slow and soft and gentle, but I guess that was kinda stupid… “So it was all rushed and-?” I asked him and he shook his head no.

“No not really.” He says and I tried not to roll my eyes. Could he be anymore vague.

“But she was dressed, like mostly dressed?” I asked him and this other thought flooded my mind. I mean maybe I'm thinking this all backwards, maybe it was all lusty and passion filled with no time to take their clothes off! I mean is that what's lacking between us?

“Naw sorta.” He kinda shrugged like he didn’t want to get into it but I did… I needed to, now more then ever.

“Gerard I don't understand.” I tell him trying not to sound whiney and he smiled as he ran his hand along my bra straps.

“Sorta dressed.” He says plainly. “She wouldn’t take her bra off.” He says as he tugged on the material. And I could see him thinking fondly of the memory.

“Well then I wont either!” I tell him pushing his hand down and he smiled at me.

“Elle!” He chuckled reaching up once more and I swatted his hand away.

“No I'm gonna be like Jade.” I declared and he laughed.

“Stop it Elle.” He tells me scoldingly, but he was teasing. I was too. “Come on take this off baby.” He sorta pouted at me tugging on my bra straps and I shook my head no.

“Call me Jade.” I tell him and he laughed as I tried to wriggle out from under him.

“I'm gonna kick your ass baby.” He tells me and I giggled.

“Now that’s romantic Gerard.” I tease him and he laughed once more as we struggled…

My bra did end up on the floor and as I drifted off to sleep in his arms, I felt incredibly satisfied… Mostly cause I knew the next time he thought of the name Jade and a struggle over a bra…that he’d be thinking of me…