FicWad

“Motherfucker went to Maple drive.” Gerard says to Bob and I felt the blood instantly drain from my face…Maple drive? …That’s where Mr. Samuel lives…

Suddenly all the memories from that day came flooding back at me and I felt faint…shit, I thought I heard him but I wasn’t sure…And just like that I began to panic…‘Okay, don't panic Elle. It’s a big street; lots of people live on it…just cause Gerard followed Sinatra there, it doesn’t prove anything… Its just a coincidence…’ I told myself silently as I took a slow and somewhat steady deep breath in. I was trying so hard not to freak out…

“643 Maple drive to be exact.” Gerard says and Bob grumbled something under his breath I didn’t quite catch but I'm pretty sure it was about Mr. S –and it wasn’t very nice.

“Gerard 643 is Mr. Samuels address.” I say stupidly to him and he sorta nodded back in agreement but he wasn’t looking at me as he did it. He was actually looking over me at Bob. I mean I know I'm fucking short but come on! I lifted my hand over my head and waved it slightly at him and for a second he looked down at me like what did I want. But it was obvious. I was upset by his ‘news’…

“Aw Elle, don't worry about baby. He didn’t actually go in, just drove around the block seventeen hundred times” He says like he wished he could take back what he said, or at least no have said it in front of me… But I was tired of the secrets; I was tired of not knowing shit like everyone else did…

“And then?” I question him and he shrugged.

“And then nothing.” He cracked his knuckles as he spoke and I cringed.

“No don't shut me out of this Gerard.” I tell him and he kinda tried to brush me off.

“Look, I followed him and then I ran out of gas so-“ He sighed. “Anyway you get to see your penguins Elle?” He says as he reached up and stroked my cheek lightly.

“Mm-hmm.” I sighed lightly in response as I nuzzled my cheek against his hand. I just loved the touch of his hand on me like that… Made me feel so safe.

“Bobby took good care of you?” He says as he pulled my face towards his.

“Yeah he did.” I told him softly and he leant over and brushed his lips against my cheek and I just found myself latching on to him and refusing to let go… I was just so relieved he was okay. I wrapped my arms around his waist and had pulled myself so tightly against him, but I still ached to be closer. “But not like you do.” I sort of whispered at him as I nestled my face into his neck.

“You eat yet?” He says casually and I shook my head no. He had his arm loosely around me and when I said no he sorta dropped it from me. “You didn’t feed her?” He says accusingly to Bob and I pulled back from Gerard like what the hell.

“Gerard!” I tell him scoldingly. “I can take care of myself, if I'm hungry I’ll eat, I don't need him to feed me.” I tell him and he didn’t say anything he just shifted his eyes from me to Bob.

“We were gonna eat now.” Bob tells him and he nodded back like that was okay. But it wasn’t… I was tired of being treated like some helpless creature. I just stood there with my arms crossed on my chest staring at Gerard.

I was just waiting for Mr. Bossy to make his appearance. I mean that’s usually how these scenes play out. He makes a decision, confers with Bob or whatever other guy is around and once they're in agreement he turns and gives me his ‘commands’ and I was sick of it…

I was so ready to say something too. I mean I didn’t want to fight with him but I had to stand my ground –speak up for once. I mean I've been trying to be better…trying to hold it together… Like before –I didn’t faint and pass out when he said he went to Mr. S’s! No. I held it together. And I didn’t cry and fall apart when he drove off after him either… I wanted to, but I didn’t, I was mature about it… And I was gonna list all theses things out for him but I didn’t get the chance.

He turned back to me and I don't know exactly why, maybe it was cause of the way I was standing with my arms crossed defensively like that, or maybe it was the determined look in my eye. Or maybe it was just cause Bob was there and he didn’t want to start quarrelling in front of him.

“And what do you want to do?” He says and for a second I honestly didn’t think he was talking to me. I mean he was looking at me. Right in my eyes too no less, but the words didn’t make any sense…

“Who me?” I replied back and he smiled as he pulled me back towards him.

“Yeah you.” He sorta laughed and I was still kinda in awe… I mean he was asking me what I wanted to do!? It was like a weird alternate universe kinda moment. “You wanna eat?” He says and I just stared at him blankly. I mean I was trying to figure out if any of this was real… I mean maybe I did pass out before and this is some kinda dream… “You hungry Elle?” He says and I nodded hesitantly.

“Um yeah I am.” I replied and I was. But I was still all thrown off about the fact that he wasn’t gonna ‘order’ me to eat…

“Well what do you want to eat?” He says and I rubbed my eyes a little before looking back up at him. I figured if I was hallucinating or something that that might snap me out of it. “Elle?” He says when I didn’t answer him right away.

“Food?” I offer as my answer and he laughed and then Bob laughed too and then Gerard said something about the diner and the next thing I knew we we’re heading over there.

Once we got there and sat down I had pretty much convinced myself that this was all real. And I couldn’t have been happier. I mean for Gerard to have asked me for my opinion like that? Yeah it was just something small and probably insignificant to the rest of the world but it just meant so much to me… It was like he had faith in me. I mean he would always say he did but he never really showed it.

“So what do you want?” He says as I looked the menu over carefully… I had never felt so much pressure to pick something… I mean I wasn’t gonna mess this up. Instead of him forcing what he thought was ‘healthy’ on me, he was letting me pick it for myself… And I didn’t want to screw it up…

“Umm I'm looking.” I tell him and I bit my lip a little. My eyes kept wandering to the dessert section… they had a picture of a piece of cherry pie and it looked so good I could feel my mouth watering for it. But Gerard wasn’t gonna let me have pie for lunch!

But then again he was letting me pick… No. Stop it Elle. You pick something stupid like pie for lunch he's never gonna let you pick again…. Unless maybe I match it up with something else…. The only other thing on the menu that looked appealing was the pancakes… I mean it wasn’t really lunch-y though so I wasn’t sure. I did know they had some pretty good potato salad here but I couldn’t make a meal out of just that…

I guess Gerard could tell I was struggling with the menu cause he kinda leant over to see what I was looking at. He was sitting next to me and Bob was across from us.

“Uhhh what are you getting Bob?” I asked him and he shrugged as he tossed his menu down.

“I don't know, probably a burger.” He says and I frowned. Gerard was probably gonna get one too… And I don't really eat a lot of meat so that was no help…I bit my lip a little and scrunched my face up as I stared at the menu once more.

“Well what do you want to eat Elle?” Gerard says and I sighed a little as I answered him.

“I know what I ‘want’. I just can’t get it.” I tell him truthfully and he kinda smiled.

“You want pie don't you?” He says and I looked at him in shock. “I saw you looking at it.” He says and I tried not to smile.

Just then the waitress appeared and Bob ordered his burger and Gerard did too and then she turned to me and I had no idea what to say. I found myself ordering spaghetti and right before she turned to walk off Gerard tells her to forget the spaghetti and just bring me some pie instead. I didn’t say anything, I just sorta smiled at him and he smiled back as he ran his hand along my thigh under the table.

I was totally confused by the whole thing. I mean if I said I wanted pie he would’ve said no that that wasn’t a lunch. But its okay for him to get me pie for lunch?

“Pies not fucking lunch.” Bob sorta grumbled and then he called the waitress back over and told her to bring me a burger too. Great! I finally get Gerard off my back and Bob hops on…

I didn’t say anything about it to him though. And I don't know if Gerard was going to. I mean once the waitress was a few feet away, it looked like he was going to but he didn’t get a chance cause Bob immediately asked him what else happened at Mr. Samuels’s house. Gerard shifted slightly in his seat before answering him.

“I already told you, nothing.” He says and at first I thought he was just saying that for my benefit, you know to not upset me but he really wasn’t…

“Nothing?” Bob repeated back and Gerard sorta shrugged like there was nothing else to say.

“You didn’t get out did you?” I asked him and he kinda gave me a look.

“I promised I wouldn’t Elle.” He says like he couldn’t believe I asked him that and I found myself lowering my eyes down in shame… I didn’t really think he did. Honestly, I don't know why I even said it.

“Yeah I know but you were gone a long time.” I tell him trying to justify what I just said and he shrugged a little and didn’t say anything else which left me feeling uneasy and I think he could tell.

“I wasn’t doing anything.” He says defensively and I was a little confused by his words.

“I never said you did.” I tell him. I mean did he really think I meant it like that? I only said it to try to explain why I said something stupid in the first place, but now it was just snowballing away from me.

“Well it sounded like it.” Gerard says with a slight annoyance to his voice and I looked over at Bob to help me out. And at first he shifted his eyes from me like he didn’t want to get involved, but then I guess he had a change of heart.

“You were gone a long time.” He says sorta backing me up and Gerard frowned but didn’t reply.

“Yeah and I wanted to wait outside, but it got too cold and then Bob said-” I go to tell him and he squeezed my leg tensely.

“Bob said what?” He says looking across the table at him and once more I felt things taking yet another wrong turn.

“Nothing, just that it was cold and you wouldn’t be back so quick.” I tell him quickly and he seemed to relax a little but I don't know cause the food came and he took his hand from my leg.

“I told you I ran out of gas so I parked on the corner, watched him circle a hundred times then he just went around the corner and never came back round.” He explains as he reached for the ketchup. Bob started eating and Gerard did too. I was the only one eagerly awaiting him to finish his sentence…

“Well did he?” I asked urgently and he shook his head no. “Hmm, so you didn’t actually see him with Mr. S did you?” I asked him and he rolled his eyes at me. “What?” I cried out. “I mean you didn’t seem him with Mr S, maybe hes stalking him too?” I asked them and Gerard didn’t say anything, he just proceeded to put ketchup all over my dish too even though I didn’t ask him to.

“Elle, come on.” Bob finally speaks up, I guess realizing that Gerard wasn’t.

“What?” I tell him defensively. “I'm saying that like you're just assuming that that means they know each other and that may not be the case- he may not be the enemy.” I explain to him as I picked up a fry from my plate.

“Holy shit Elle, you are not gonna sit here and defend him again are you.” He says and it wasn’t really a question, more like an accusation… I sighed a little in response. I mean neither one of them liked Mr. Samuel from the beginning and now they had both made up their minds that he was somehow involved in -I don't even know what, and maybe he was. But they had already decided that he was the enemy and I didn’t necessarily agree…

“I'm saying like you didnt see him go in.” I tell Gerard and he nodded.

“But Elle, hes gotta fucking know him.” He continued to insist and I continued to insist the opposite. Finally Bob points out the only way to know for sure is to ask Mr Samuel himself.

“So you gonna confront him?” Bob says to Gerard and I was glad he had asked me. Maybe then hed actually answer it. I mean if I asked I was sure all Id in response was a ‘we‘ll talk about it later‘…

Gerard sorta just tossed his hands up in response like he wasn’t sure if he was going to or not. I mean Mr. S had lied to us before -even if we confronted him about knowing the guy, he’d probably just lie again.

“Mmm maybe I should just tell Slim about all this and let him handle it.” I suggest and they both simultaneously scoffed at me. “What?” I say defensively. I mean they were looking at me like I was crazy and I wasn’t… “I told you Slim says he knows my dad.” I tell them and Gerard sorta nodded.

“I know baby, but that doesn’t make him a good guy.” He says and I frowned in disagreement as he pushed my plate closer to me since I wasn’t eating.

“But still.” I tell him as I poked at the now cold burger on my dish. I mean there was nothing wrong with it; I just didn’t want to eat it.

I mean I didn’t fucking order it, Bob did! He should have to eat it! I pulled off the lettuce and the tomato and tossed it to the side. I then cut it half, and then half again. And it looked so much smaller like that. Which was good cause I hated for the waitress to come back and be all ‘is something wrong with it dear’… This way it looks like I ate it…

“But still nothing.” Gerard tells me roughly and Bob sort of nodded in agreement. “You know, not everyone’s gonna be a good guy Elle.” He tells me and I sighed a little.

“Yeah.” I said softly as I swirled my fry in the ketchup… “It just seemed like there were more bad guys then good guys lately and I wanted to even it out better.” I tell him and he smiled as I tossed the fry back on to my dish… “fuck this.” I sorta mumbled in defeat. I mean I wasn’t gonna eat anymore and I figured why keep pretending when there’s a piece of perfectly good pie waiting for me..

Gerard must’ve seen me reaching for the pie dish too cause he reached over and slid it further back from me and more towards Bob. He tried to make it casual like he was just making space but I knew it wasn’t. He was telling me like ‘no pie until you eat’ with out actually saying it and I pouted slightly as I picked my French fry back up. What the hell? I mean he was the one who ordered the pie for me and now I can’t have it?

“It don't work that way honey, he can’t be good just cause you want him to.” Bob says chuckling a little and I shrugged sadly as I forced the fry in my mouth.

“Well it should.” I grumbled back at him and Gerard laughed.

“Well when you write your ‘story’ you can make him good in it baby.” He sorta teased me and I smiled.

“Stop Gerard.” I whined at him. He was still fucking teasing me cause of what I said last night.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Bob asked and Gerard shook his head a little.

“Ah don't ask.” He tells him like it was stupid and Bob shrugged like he didn’t really care enough to ask again…Gerard shifted in his seat a little sliding closer to me in the booth now. “It was just uhhhh something Elle said in bed last night.” He says and he sorta winked at me as he said it and I laughed. I mean what the fuck was his problem. He was making it sound all kinky and shit and it wasn’t…

“Gerard.” I kinda nudged him and he laughed once more.

“Yeah you said that too –quite a few times.” He teased me and I tried not to smile at him but he was too damn cute…

“You want some more ketchup Elle.” Bob says out of nowhere as he nodded towards my plate.

“Uhh no.” I tell him as I stared down a little disgustedly at my fries… I mean Gerard kinda fucking splashed the ketchup all over them and I never do that cause it makes them soggy if you don't eat them fast enough – and I never do…

“Here have your pie honey.” Bob says sliding the dish temptingly towards me and I widened my eyes at it… I mean I don't know what heaven looks like, but I'm sure they have pie…

I went to reach for my fork and I saw Gerard looking at me out of the corner of my eye and he didn’t look too happy… I think it was a test. But I don't know… They were both making me fucking nuts! I mean first Gerard says I can have it and Bob says no and now Gerard's saying no and Bobs saying yes…I just don't get it.

“Mmm so what do we about Mr. S then if not Slim.” I say to them both stalling a little. I reached for my drink as they exchanged looks.

“I really don't know Elle.” Gerard says and I swirled the straw in my drink a little defeatedly.

“Well I do.” Bob says and I looked at him eagerly. “I think you should call Lia.” He says and Gerard scoffed at him.

“Fucking bitch.” He mumbled and he kinda pushed his plate from him in disgust.

“Gerard.” I scolded him but he ignored me.

“You're fucking kidding right?” He demands and Bob shook his head no.

“Naw, you wanna get in to his house, she's dating him. I bet she knows what's going on.” Bob says and I shook my head in disagreement.

“No I doubt it, but she would know who the guy is or if Mr S is actually friends with him or what.” I tell Gerard and he crossed his arms on his chest.

“You are not calling her.” He says firmly waving his finger at me.

“Can we go by then?” I ask weakly and he just kinda snapped.

“No Elle!” He cries out and I cringed a little. I mean he wasn’t really yelling at me but it was pretty damn close. “After the fucking shit she said to you –no!” He says getting all wound up now…

“Hey.” Bob sorta called out, like telling him to leave me alone but he shouldn’t have… I mean cause now Gerard swung his anger over at him.

“And what the fuck you suggesting shit like that for?” He tells him. And Bob looked at him like he wanted to say something back but he didn’t. Instead he just leant back against the booth and let Gerard ream him out. “Why don't you start fucking her again, that’ll get you in the door.” He says snidely to Bob.

“Gerard stop it.” I tell him but he wouldn’t… “And she's dating Mr S now.” I pointed out and he smirked.

“Well that didn’t stop him when she was with Ray.” He says and I widened my eyes at him. I can’t believe he brought that up! “Unless that’s your thing Bryar. –stealing peoples girls.” He says snidely and I swatted his arm as hard as I could.

“Gerard what the fuck!” I yelled at him and the people at the table closest to us looked over and frowned but I didn’t care. I mean that was just crossing the line. He knows how Bob and Lia ended up together, and now he's gonna throw it in his face.

“Naw Elle, its all right.” Bob says trying to calm me down a little. “He's right, I did fuck Lia while she was with Ray.” He says and I frowned.

“Yeah but it was only one time.” I tell him and he looked at me like how would I know that. “And she said it wasn’t even that good.” I tell him and Gerard grinned a little. Bob however became immediately defensive.

“That’s cause she's a fucking lesbian!” He cried out and the same people looked over at us once more.

“Shit we’re gonna get thrown out of here too.” I tell Gerard softly as the waitress came marching back over to us… and she looked pretty damn pissed. She had that look in her eye that I’d seen a hundred times before… “And I didn’t even get to eat my pie…”