Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Beginning Is Never The End
This wasn’t right. I was suddenly flooded with a memory. Bobby telling me about his first day here. How nobody talked to him besides me. Maybe that’s why he fell in love with me! I mean I was his first. The first person who talked to him. Firsts are always important. You never forget your first anything, always has a special place in your heart. I couldn’t take back being his first. I mean I could’ve, but I didn’t. Fuck.
This is why I need a plan. I shouldn’t do anything with out a plan, or Im just gonna fuck it all up again. But maybe it wasn’t too late. Maybe I can still fix this. If Bobby meets a couple of other girls today, then it wouldn’t be like I was the first and only. We would all get blended into one memory maybe?
“Lisa!” I cried out stopping her. “This is Bob hes new.” I pointed at him and she sorta smirked at me but nodded hello to Bobby but just kept walking. “Well that went well.” I muttered to myself but Bob heard me.
“What?” He asked leaning in to me a bit and I stepped back.
“Um Im gonna introduce you to some people.” I announced and he smiled curiously at me. “Ok?” I asked and he shrugged.
“Who?” He asked and I frowned scanning the hallways.
“I don’t know.” I replied honestly cause I really didn’t. All these faces were vaguely familiar but not really. Bob kinda chuckled at me and I shook my head a little pulling my notebook out once more. I grabbed his arm and led him down the hall using him as my excuse to ask questions. I would be like this is Bob hes new, who are you? And quickly scribble down their name. Some people just laughed. Others looked at me like I was crazy. Some people were like Im so and so Elle duh.
We had made it all the way down the hall now, just a few feet from my locker when I saw him.
“Oh Bobby this is um-” I start to say and Bob finishes my sentence.
“Gerard.” He nodded and Gerard nodded back at him. Shifting his eyes from me to Bob quickly and then back to Bob. Oh my God Gerard just caught me with Bob. Again.
“So how was it?” Gerard asks and my jaw hung open a little. Then I realized he wasn’t talking to me.
“Good good.” Bob shrugged and I finally spoke up.
“Wait you know him?’ I tried not to gasp.
“Uh yeah.” Bob shrugged once more. “I met him in the guidance office this morning.” He starts to explain. “Chatted a bit before they hauled his ass to suspension.” He somewhat smiled and Gerard cocked his head a little so his hair swung in his face now. I don’t know if getting suspended on the first day of school was like a macho Im such a bad ass thing or what.
“Oh.” I said softly as thoughts swirled in my mind. That means Im not the first person Bobby met. Im not the first one he saw, or talked to today. Oh fuck. Does that mean hes gonna fall in love with Gerard now? I swung my eyes back on to Bob and I must’ve had a look of panic in them.
“What?” he asked and I quickly spun my back to him and twisted the dial around on my locker. “This your locker?” He asked and I spun back to face him.
“Um yeah.” I replied plainly and he just continued to look at me.
“You gonna open it?” He asked I guess wondering why I just standing there holding all my books. I glanced at Gerard who was almost done putting his books away and wouldn’t look up…
“Um yeah when you leave.” I tell Bob just as Frankie slammed into the locker next to me. He was holding some book in the air, trying to play keep away from some freshman.
“You need help?” Bob asks and I started to freak. This wasn’t right. Bob wasn’t suppose to be here. Gerard was suppose to help.
“No.” I said a little firmly as Gerard slammed his locker shut. “You can go Bob.” I told him and I suppose I was sounding a bit bitchy.
“Oh ok sorry.” Bob kinda mumbled and I should’ve said sorry but I didn’t. He turned and started to walk away and Gerard called out after.
“Hey wait up.”
And with that they were all gone. Gerard. Bob. Frankie. It was just me now. Practically alone in the hall.
‘fuck’ I muttered to myself. I stood there a few minutes just staring at the metal door. I closed my eyes for a second to steady myself and then reached in my bag and pulled out the combination.
Around and around the dial went.
It wouldn’t open.
I cant do this.
I cant do this.
“I cant do this.” I found myself starting to cry. Leaning my head against the cold steel door now. I felt like I was falling apart…
“Here give it to me.” Gerards voice came up behind me and I widened my eyes at the sight of him.
“Gerard.” I kind of gasped but he didn’t say anything. I wiped the tears in my eyes as he started turning the dial
"13...26...12" He shows me as he spins it around and it popped opened.
“thank you.” I said softly even those weren’t the words I wanted to be whispering to him right now…
“yeah sure.” He kinda mumbled and then he sorta glanced around me, so I turned too, to see what he was looking at. Oh fuck it was Frankie. He at the end of the hallway, waiting for Gerard I suppose.
“Dude come on!” Frankie yelled out and Gerard gave me a weak smile before walking off.
“Bye Gerard.” I called out after him. Watching him disappear through the doors my eyes welled up with tears once more. I blinked them from my eyes quickly and pulled my notebook out. I needed to get home. I needed to make a plan.
If Bobby truly loved me all those years I don’t know how he did it. I don’t think I can survive another day like this with out falling to pieces…
This is why I need a plan. I shouldn’t do anything with out a plan, or Im just gonna fuck it all up again. But maybe it wasn’t too late. Maybe I can still fix this. If Bobby meets a couple of other girls today, then it wouldn’t be like I was the first and only. We would all get blended into one memory maybe?
“Lisa!” I cried out stopping her. “This is Bob hes new.” I pointed at him and she sorta smirked at me but nodded hello to Bobby but just kept walking. “Well that went well.” I muttered to myself but Bob heard me.
“What?” He asked leaning in to me a bit and I stepped back.
“Um Im gonna introduce you to some people.” I announced and he smiled curiously at me. “Ok?” I asked and he shrugged.
“Who?” He asked and I frowned scanning the hallways.
“I don’t know.” I replied honestly cause I really didn’t. All these faces were vaguely familiar but not really. Bob kinda chuckled at me and I shook my head a little pulling my notebook out once more. I grabbed his arm and led him down the hall using him as my excuse to ask questions. I would be like this is Bob hes new, who are you? And quickly scribble down their name. Some people just laughed. Others looked at me like I was crazy. Some people were like Im so and so Elle duh.
We had made it all the way down the hall now, just a few feet from my locker when I saw him.
“Oh Bobby this is um-” I start to say and Bob finishes my sentence.
“Gerard.” He nodded and Gerard nodded back at him. Shifting his eyes from me to Bob quickly and then back to Bob. Oh my God Gerard just caught me with Bob. Again.
“So how was it?” Gerard asks and my jaw hung open a little. Then I realized he wasn’t talking to me.
“Good good.” Bob shrugged and I finally spoke up.
“Wait you know him?’ I tried not to gasp.
“Uh yeah.” Bob shrugged once more. “I met him in the guidance office this morning.” He starts to explain. “Chatted a bit before they hauled his ass to suspension.” He somewhat smiled and Gerard cocked his head a little so his hair swung in his face now. I don’t know if getting suspended on the first day of school was like a macho Im such a bad ass thing or what.
“Oh.” I said softly as thoughts swirled in my mind. That means Im not the first person Bobby met. Im not the first one he saw, or talked to today. Oh fuck. Does that mean hes gonna fall in love with Gerard now? I swung my eyes back on to Bob and I must’ve had a look of panic in them.
“What?” he asked and I quickly spun my back to him and twisted the dial around on my locker. “This your locker?” He asked and I spun back to face him.
“Um yeah.” I replied plainly and he just continued to look at me.
“You gonna open it?” He asked I guess wondering why I just standing there holding all my books. I glanced at Gerard who was almost done putting his books away and wouldn’t look up…
“Um yeah when you leave.” I tell Bob just as Frankie slammed into the locker next to me. He was holding some book in the air, trying to play keep away from some freshman.
“You need help?” Bob asks and I started to freak. This wasn’t right. Bob wasn’t suppose to be here. Gerard was suppose to help.
“No.” I said a little firmly as Gerard slammed his locker shut. “You can go Bob.” I told him and I suppose I was sounding a bit bitchy.
“Oh ok sorry.” Bob kinda mumbled and I should’ve said sorry but I didn’t. He turned and started to walk away and Gerard called out after.
“Hey wait up.”
And with that they were all gone. Gerard. Bob. Frankie. It was just me now. Practically alone in the hall.
‘fuck’ I muttered to myself. I stood there a few minutes just staring at the metal door. I closed my eyes for a second to steady myself and then reached in my bag and pulled out the combination.
Around and around the dial went.
It wouldn’t open.
I cant do this.
I cant do this.
“I cant do this.” I found myself starting to cry. Leaning my head against the cold steel door now. I felt like I was falling apart…
“Here give it to me.” Gerards voice came up behind me and I widened my eyes at the sight of him.
“Gerard.” I kind of gasped but he didn’t say anything. I wiped the tears in my eyes as he started turning the dial
"13...26...12" He shows me as he spins it around and it popped opened.
“thank you.” I said softly even those weren’t the words I wanted to be whispering to him right now…
“yeah sure.” He kinda mumbled and then he sorta glanced around me, so I turned too, to see what he was looking at. Oh fuck it was Frankie. He at the end of the hallway, waiting for Gerard I suppose.
“Dude come on!” Frankie yelled out and Gerard gave me a weak smile before walking off.
“Bye Gerard.” I called out after him. Watching him disappear through the doors my eyes welled up with tears once more. I blinked them from my eyes quickly and pulled my notebook out. I needed to get home. I needed to make a plan.
If Bobby truly loved me all those years I don’t know how he did it. I don’t think I can survive another day like this with out falling to pieces…
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