Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Darling, I want to destroy you
I’m not a big fan of make up, so I had nothing on hand to cover up the very evident love bite on my neck. I gazed into the mirror trying to think of a way to hide it. I lifted up the collar on my shirt but it mad me look like an Elvis wannabe. I straightened out my collar and smoothed down my shirt. Fuck it. I have no choice. I have to go out there and face the music.
I exited the female toilets and went back to the desk and of course Gerard was there. He was leaning against the desk looking out into the lobby with the biggest smirk on his face. He turned to face me.
‘There you are. I thought you weren’t going to come back.’ I directed my eyes to the computer screen, surely if I ignored him completely, he would leave me alone.
As I tried to consume my mind with work even though I could feel his eyes staring at me. I finally caved in ‘What? What’s wrong now? Why must you stare at me?’
‘You smoke, yeah?’
‘Yeah. So?’
‘Lets go.’ He grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the desk. He lead me down a corridor and finally through a door. As soon as I stepped over the threshold, the smell of sewerage and week old rubbish filled my nostrils. I began choking on the smell.
‘I’m sorry this is the only place they let us smoke while on shift’ he said as he patted my back in a lame attempt to stop me from coughing. ‘You’ll get used to it. Trust me.’ I stared at him with daggers in my eyes. Trust him? Was he being serious. I couldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him, and that wasn’t far at all.
He pulled out a packet of cigarettes and took two out. He place them both inbetween his lips and lit them up. He passed one to me and leaned up against the concrete wall.
‘Aren’t we going to get in trouble for leaving the desk?’
‘Ahh, you do have a voice after all. No we won’t I got someone to cover us, and I checked the arrivals list our next arrival has had their flight delayed so they won’t be here for a while.’
I turned away from him and sucked on my cigarette. ‘So tell me Virginia, who gave you that hickey?’
He just couldn’t let it go could he?
‘My boyfriend did.’
‘Lucky prick.’
‘Excuse me?’
‘Are you deaf?’ He pushed himself off the wall and leaned in towards my ear. ‘I said lucky prick.’, he whispered into my ear, that sent a shiver down my spine.
‘Why is he a lucky prick?’ I said turning my head towards his.
‘Cause he is getting some and I’m not.’ He moved closer towards my face that was only a small gap between his lips and mine.
‘Are you suggesting that I sleep with you?’ I stuttered out, as I looked into his eyes.
‘Oh my god no’, he exclaimed as he leant back up against the wall and a smile grew on his face.
‘Oh thanks, you don’t think I am good enough?’ I battered my eyelids at him trying to give him the sexiest look I could come up with.
‘I didn’t say you weren’t good enough…’ He flicked his finished cigarette onto the ground and stepped forward to put it out. He lost his balance and I put out a hand to catch him. He grabbed hold of my hand and pulled me closer towards him and our bodies glided into each other ‘… I just don’t think my wife would appreciate me fucking someone else.’
He let go of me and headed towards the door.
‘Your married?’ I said in a high pitched squeal.
‘Yep sure am. And I have a wonderful little girl as well.’
‘But… you were… you were flirting and suggesting the idea of sex.’
‘I admit, I was flirting. I cant help it. My wife even knows I am a big flirt, but you thought about having sex with me all on your own.’
‘But you said that…’
‘Listen to hun. I’m flattered and all that you want to sleep with me and all, truly I am. But I’m married.’ He lifted his left hand to show me the ring. ‘I hope this doesn’t affect our relationship.’ He smirked at me and went back into the hotel.
What the hell was that? His messing with my head. I don’t really want to sleep with him, or do I? Shit! Why am I doubting myself. What is this asshole doing to me? He is so mean to me. Then so kind. And on top of it all, why am I even thinking about it all. I love Damien. Why do I even let this guy enter my thoughts? I stomped my foot on the concrete in frustration. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. I wanted to runaway and hide.
‘Are you coming back in or what?’ Gerard popped his head around the door staring at me. I rolled my eyes and walked towards him.
The rest of the shift I stayed at one end of the desk and he stayed at the other. I did my best to not look in his direction and fake genuine smiles at the guests I checked in.
Finally the two staff that started at 10pm showed up and we were both free to leave. I grabbed my handbag in a hurry and literally ran out the doors. I got to my car and once again was rifling through my bag in search of my car keys. Why is it that whenever I want to make a quick escape my dam car keys always hold me up?
‘Hey Virginia!’ Fuck! It was him. I knew it was him.
I turned around and took a step back, he was right there. ‘What?’
‘Do you have time for a smoke?’ I looked at him as if he was kidding. He put an already lit cigarette in my hand. ‘I don’t want you to hate me.’
‘Are you joking? How can I not hate you? Have you even noticed the way you have been treating me? I think I have every right in the world to hate you.’
He ran his hand through his hair and rested it on his the back of his neck. ‘You’re right.’
‘Of course I’m fucking right.’ I was yelling now. ‘Your treat me like I’m an insignificant piece of shit, then you turn around and act like we are good friends. What the fuck is your problem with me? I have done nothing to you. Nothing at all. All I have done is started work here, I have done nothing to piss you off, yet sometimes you act as though I have.’ I let out a sigh and leaned against my car, exhausted with my outburst.
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Your sorry? Don’t you think it’s a little to late for apologises?’
‘Let me explain myself.’
‘Fine. Go ahead Gerard, I’m all ears, but don’t expect me to believe a single word.’
He blew out some smoke and stepped on the butt he threw onto the ground. He lit up another smoke and leaned up against the car opposite mine.
‘The thing is Virginia, there is something about you that I cant explain. There is something that has drawn me to you, and I hate it but at the same time I love it.’ I could see the sincerity in his eyes. ‘Since the moment I saw you in Ray’s office, I knew that you were going to play a big role in my life, but I don’t know what that role is because I thought all the positions in my life were full.’
‘Get to the point Gerard.’
He exhaled again and continued. ‘It’s just, you know when someone comes into your life, unexpectedly, and you get that feeling. Do you know what I’m talking about?’ I nodded my head. I knew what he was talking about, because that was the exact feeling I get when I think that about him.
‘And I’m scared Virginia. I don’t know why you have been introduced into my life. I was mean to you because I wanted you to disappear. I didn’t want you to be around me. But then I was kind because you are just a harmless little girl, what could you possibly impact on my life?’ I stood there looking at him taking in every last word.
‘I need you in my life Virginia. These past few days while you were with Tina, I was jealous. Jealous because I couldn’t be training with you, to spend my whole shift with you. Since I laid eyes on you, you have been plaguing my mind. Does any of this make sense?’
I took a deep breath and said ‘It does Gerard. Because the same thing is happening to me.’
I exited the female toilets and went back to the desk and of course Gerard was there. He was leaning against the desk looking out into the lobby with the biggest smirk on his face. He turned to face me.
‘There you are. I thought you weren’t going to come back.’ I directed my eyes to the computer screen, surely if I ignored him completely, he would leave me alone.
As I tried to consume my mind with work even though I could feel his eyes staring at me. I finally caved in ‘What? What’s wrong now? Why must you stare at me?’
‘You smoke, yeah?’
‘Yeah. So?’
‘Lets go.’ He grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the desk. He lead me down a corridor and finally through a door. As soon as I stepped over the threshold, the smell of sewerage and week old rubbish filled my nostrils. I began choking on the smell.
‘I’m sorry this is the only place they let us smoke while on shift’ he said as he patted my back in a lame attempt to stop me from coughing. ‘You’ll get used to it. Trust me.’ I stared at him with daggers in my eyes. Trust him? Was he being serious. I couldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him, and that wasn’t far at all.
He pulled out a packet of cigarettes and took two out. He place them both inbetween his lips and lit them up. He passed one to me and leaned up against the concrete wall.
‘Aren’t we going to get in trouble for leaving the desk?’
‘Ahh, you do have a voice after all. No we won’t I got someone to cover us, and I checked the arrivals list our next arrival has had their flight delayed so they won’t be here for a while.’
I turned away from him and sucked on my cigarette. ‘So tell me Virginia, who gave you that hickey?’
He just couldn’t let it go could he?
‘My boyfriend did.’
‘Lucky prick.’
‘Excuse me?’
‘Are you deaf?’ He pushed himself off the wall and leaned in towards my ear. ‘I said lucky prick.’, he whispered into my ear, that sent a shiver down my spine.
‘Why is he a lucky prick?’ I said turning my head towards his.
‘Cause he is getting some and I’m not.’ He moved closer towards my face that was only a small gap between his lips and mine.
‘Are you suggesting that I sleep with you?’ I stuttered out, as I looked into his eyes.
‘Oh my god no’, he exclaimed as he leant back up against the wall and a smile grew on his face.
‘Oh thanks, you don’t think I am good enough?’ I battered my eyelids at him trying to give him the sexiest look I could come up with.
‘I didn’t say you weren’t good enough…’ He flicked his finished cigarette onto the ground and stepped forward to put it out. He lost his balance and I put out a hand to catch him. He grabbed hold of my hand and pulled me closer towards him and our bodies glided into each other ‘… I just don’t think my wife would appreciate me fucking someone else.’
He let go of me and headed towards the door.
‘Your married?’ I said in a high pitched squeal.
‘Yep sure am. And I have a wonderful little girl as well.’
‘But… you were… you were flirting and suggesting the idea of sex.’
‘I admit, I was flirting. I cant help it. My wife even knows I am a big flirt, but you thought about having sex with me all on your own.’
‘But you said that…’
‘Listen to hun. I’m flattered and all that you want to sleep with me and all, truly I am. But I’m married.’ He lifted his left hand to show me the ring. ‘I hope this doesn’t affect our relationship.’ He smirked at me and went back into the hotel.
What the hell was that? His messing with my head. I don’t really want to sleep with him, or do I? Shit! Why am I doubting myself. What is this asshole doing to me? He is so mean to me. Then so kind. And on top of it all, why am I even thinking about it all. I love Damien. Why do I even let this guy enter my thoughts? I stomped my foot on the concrete in frustration. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. I wanted to runaway and hide.
‘Are you coming back in or what?’ Gerard popped his head around the door staring at me. I rolled my eyes and walked towards him.
The rest of the shift I stayed at one end of the desk and he stayed at the other. I did my best to not look in his direction and fake genuine smiles at the guests I checked in.
Finally the two staff that started at 10pm showed up and we were both free to leave. I grabbed my handbag in a hurry and literally ran out the doors. I got to my car and once again was rifling through my bag in search of my car keys. Why is it that whenever I want to make a quick escape my dam car keys always hold me up?
‘Hey Virginia!’ Fuck! It was him. I knew it was him.
I turned around and took a step back, he was right there. ‘What?’
‘Do you have time for a smoke?’ I looked at him as if he was kidding. He put an already lit cigarette in my hand. ‘I don’t want you to hate me.’
‘Are you joking? How can I not hate you? Have you even noticed the way you have been treating me? I think I have every right in the world to hate you.’
He ran his hand through his hair and rested it on his the back of his neck. ‘You’re right.’
‘Of course I’m fucking right.’ I was yelling now. ‘Your treat me like I’m an insignificant piece of shit, then you turn around and act like we are good friends. What the fuck is your problem with me? I have done nothing to you. Nothing at all. All I have done is started work here, I have done nothing to piss you off, yet sometimes you act as though I have.’ I let out a sigh and leaned against my car, exhausted with my outburst.
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Your sorry? Don’t you think it’s a little to late for apologises?’
‘Let me explain myself.’
‘Fine. Go ahead Gerard, I’m all ears, but don’t expect me to believe a single word.’
He blew out some smoke and stepped on the butt he threw onto the ground. He lit up another smoke and leaned up against the car opposite mine.
‘The thing is Virginia, there is something about you that I cant explain. There is something that has drawn me to you, and I hate it but at the same time I love it.’ I could see the sincerity in his eyes. ‘Since the moment I saw you in Ray’s office, I knew that you were going to play a big role in my life, but I don’t know what that role is because I thought all the positions in my life were full.’
‘Get to the point Gerard.’
He exhaled again and continued. ‘It’s just, you know when someone comes into your life, unexpectedly, and you get that feeling. Do you know what I’m talking about?’ I nodded my head. I knew what he was talking about, because that was the exact feeling I get when I think that about him.
‘And I’m scared Virginia. I don’t know why you have been introduced into my life. I was mean to you because I wanted you to disappear. I didn’t want you to be around me. But then I was kind because you are just a harmless little girl, what could you possibly impact on my life?’ I stood there looking at him taking in every last word.
‘I need you in my life Virginia. These past few days while you were with Tina, I was jealous. Jealous because I couldn’t be training with you, to spend my whole shift with you. Since I laid eyes on you, you have been plaguing my mind. Does any of this make sense?’
I took a deep breath and said ‘It does Gerard. Because the same thing is happening to me.’
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