(#) warjournalist 2010-04-01Hmm. I see you've watched the anime, & seem to be carrying out that particular incarnation of Dante. Not such a bad thing. But this first chapter could have had a bit more beef to it.
Introductions do add to the story. It tells the reader in what kind of light you're painting your main character(s). Just a few extra passing details would be nice. "Pizza & gunsmoke" is a good start, but just a start.
I'm not trying to burn you. I'm just trying to give a little constructive criticism. I like the way your story is going, so I shall read on.
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