Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Beginning Is Never The End
I froze up halfway in the doorway. I should’ve went inside but I was too chicken shit. My whole body was tensed up and I just dropped the crutch from under my arm, spilling almost everything in my arms as I darted back out. I still had the fries gripped tightly in my hand as I dragged my limping ass back to the car as quickly as I could. I jumped in and locked the door as quickly as I could letting out a soft eeek as I scrambled to start it back up.
Why the hell don’t I have a cell phone?? Um cause its 1997 that’s why stupid. I didn’t get a cell until 2002, not that it would have mattered if I had one anyway. Who would I even call? Gerard? Hes home sleeping, Id wake his entire house!
I found myself backing out of the driveway and pulling up the block a bit. I sat there for a long time just munching on my fries watching the dark street and my house. My paranoia from being stoned was out of control. I was so sure I would see someone coming out but I was almost out of fries and no one did…
Still too shaken to go back in alone I decided to drive around the block to see if Lia was home yet. I knew she wasn’t going to be, but I just wanted to check…. Disappointed that her car wasn’t outside I found myself driving back up to the 7-11. They had a payphone outside but I still didn’t know who I was going to call…
I could call Bob but I don’t know. I could call the cops but I was so fucked up theyd take one look at me and haul me in, that was for sure…
It was getting later and later and I was so freaking tired and now overstuffed from gorging on the fries that I decided to just take a little nap. I mean I was safe in my car. The 7-11’s parking lot was well lit, not too many people loitering around, but enough.
I reclined my seat back and was just settling into a sleep when a sharp rapping on my window startled me.
“Oh fuck Bobby you scared me.” I scowled at him as I rolled my window down and he leant into it disapprovingly. “What the hell are you doing here?” I rubbed at my eyes totally thrown off at his appearance.
“Funny I was gonna ask you that.” He nodded at me. “Why you passed out in your car?” He arched his eyebrows up at me and I frowned.
“Im not.” I replied and now he was frowning back at me. “I was sleeping, or trying to atleast until you woke me.” I corrected him and he chuckled slightly.
“Same thing Elle.” He declared and I feverishly shook my head no.
“Um. No passed out means unintentional and this was very intentional.” I waved my finger at him and he laughed lightly at me.
“Ok then Elle why are you are intentionally sleeping in your car?” He grinned at me and I couldn’t help but smile back at him using my name. I was so use to him calling me honey.
“Cause Lia left and I went to get fries and the light-” I started to babble explaining what had happened the best I could.
Bobby just sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck as I carried on. He thought I should call the cops but I was adamant that I wouldn’t.
“What are you doing here anyway, what time is it anyway?” I asked unsure of how long at all I was sleeping before he showed up.
“I dunno its after 1.” He shrugged and I pressed my lips together as I stared at him.
“And?” I encouraged him to go on. The paranoia still heavy in my mind for a second I thought maybe Bobby was in my house and maybe followed me here…
“And after I dropped of Tina I stopped to get a slushy and found you here. ‘sleeping.’ ” He says disapprovingly.
“Tina?” The name stuck on my tongue. One of his whores most likely.
“Yeah.” He shrugged it off like she meant nothing to him and she probably didn’t. I never heard the name before and the way Bobby went through girls I probably never would again… “Come on lets go.” He nodded for me to start the car back up but I shook my head no.
“Im not going back there till its light out.” I reminded him and he grinned a little at me.
“And Im not leaving ya here all night Elle.” He replied and I looked at him carefully.
“Youre gonna bring me home with you?” I said carefully remembering the weird night I spent in Bobbys house before.
“Im gonna go back with you okay.” He says as more of a statement then a question and I frowned.
“mmm I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I tried to discourage him. “It might be too dangerous.” I added and he smiled faintly at me.
“Look well just drive back, Ill take a look around and Ill call the cops if I need to. Just follow me okay.” He gave me no room to argue back because he just stepped back and got back in his own car. I sighed a little as I followed him back down the road to my house.
I didn’t like this. Not one bit. But what was the other alternatives? And at least he was letting me come back with him. Gerard would’ve insisted I stayed at the 7-11 and waited for him. Hmm or maybe not. Gerard and I weren’t as close as we were once were. Neither was Bobby and I for that matter…
He really is a good guy that Bobby Bryar is all I could think as we pulled up in front of the house. He shrugged a little as he walked around outside it. Nothing was obviously disturbed and my purse and crutch were exactly where I dropped them on the porch.
He took the keys from me and I gripped tightly to his arm as he opened the door as we stepped inside. The kitchen light was still the only one out…
“You think maybe Lia came back?” He asked and I shook my head no instantly.
“No I told you she went out.” I reminded him and he sighed a little as he stepped forward. I was still clutching so tightly to his arm. He looked like he was going to ask me to let go but he didn’t. Partially cause he could tell I was still so very scared and partially cause with out my crutch I needed to lean on him to walk.
He was walking towards the dark kitchen and I had no choice but to go with even though every bone in my body was screaming for us not to.
“Bobby wait.” I gripped him even tighter once we were in the doorway and he was reaching for the switch on the wall.
“The light just burnt out Elle.” He sorta chuckled as he flicked it on and off a few times.
“No.” I made a face at him and he laughed a little louder. “Right as I walked in! It burnt out!” I cried out and he shrugged a little.
“Yeah I guess.” He tells me and I frowned as he led me over and forced me to sit at the table. “You got a bulb Ill change it for you.” He suggests and I shrugged a little.
“Um in the cabinet I think.” I pointed over to it. I was beyond disgusted with myself at this point.
I don’t know why I have such a hard time dealing with things. I don’t know why I just cant be normal. Normal people don’t go running out in terror when a light bulb burns out, and they don’t have other people change it for them either…
“Here let me do it.” I got up to try to help him but he just made a face at me as he slid the chair I was sitting in under the light fixture. He wasn’t going to let me climb up on it and change it with one foot.
“Just here.” He took pity on me and let me help, handing me the new bulb to hold as he reached up to unscrew the dead one.
I found myself standing inches from his belt buckle. And god help me I could not resist running my eyes down the bulge in his pants below it. The memory of his taste filled my mouth and I spaced out a bit cause the next thing I know hes calling my name.
“Elle.” He waving the dead light bulb at me for me to take it from him and hand him the new one.
“Oh sorry.” I felt my cheeks flush but I don’t think he could see it in the faint light that was filling the kitchen, spilling in from the living room.
“There you go.” He declared as the light bulb caught the socket and a blinding light filled the room. He jumped off the chair and went back to the wall switch. Flicking it on and off a few times with satisfaction.
I couldn’t help but smile at him as he did it. Nor could I stop myself from going over and wrapping my arms around him in a hug.
“Thank you so much Bobby.” I sighed as I pressed myself up against him. “You know youre my best friend.” I tell him and he laughed as he pushed me back off him slightly.
“Cause I changed your light bulb?” He teased me and I swatted his arm playfully.
“No, not just cause of that, cause of… mmm lots of things.” Was the only reason I could give him that wouldn’t make me sound crazy but he was still looking at me like maybe I was. “What you don’t want to be my best friend anymore?” I asked a little hurt and he laughed.
“Naw its cool.” He smiled at me and I smiled back before hugging him once more. Bobby always made everything okay. I loved him dearly. For the last few months all I wanted to do was jump in his arms and hug him and now that I was, I was reluctant to let him go…
As much as I loved Gerard, I loved my Bobby too. And Gerard wasn’t here… It was just me and Bobby tonight…
Why the hell don’t I have a cell phone?? Um cause its 1997 that’s why stupid. I didn’t get a cell until 2002, not that it would have mattered if I had one anyway. Who would I even call? Gerard? Hes home sleeping, Id wake his entire house!
I found myself backing out of the driveway and pulling up the block a bit. I sat there for a long time just munching on my fries watching the dark street and my house. My paranoia from being stoned was out of control. I was so sure I would see someone coming out but I was almost out of fries and no one did…
Still too shaken to go back in alone I decided to drive around the block to see if Lia was home yet. I knew she wasn’t going to be, but I just wanted to check…. Disappointed that her car wasn’t outside I found myself driving back up to the 7-11. They had a payphone outside but I still didn’t know who I was going to call…
I could call Bob but I don’t know. I could call the cops but I was so fucked up theyd take one look at me and haul me in, that was for sure…
It was getting later and later and I was so freaking tired and now overstuffed from gorging on the fries that I decided to just take a little nap. I mean I was safe in my car. The 7-11’s parking lot was well lit, not too many people loitering around, but enough.
I reclined my seat back and was just settling into a sleep when a sharp rapping on my window startled me.
“Oh fuck Bobby you scared me.” I scowled at him as I rolled my window down and he leant into it disapprovingly. “What the hell are you doing here?” I rubbed at my eyes totally thrown off at his appearance.
“Funny I was gonna ask you that.” He nodded at me. “Why you passed out in your car?” He arched his eyebrows up at me and I frowned.
“Im not.” I replied and now he was frowning back at me. “I was sleeping, or trying to atleast until you woke me.” I corrected him and he chuckled slightly.
“Same thing Elle.” He declared and I feverishly shook my head no.
“Um. No passed out means unintentional and this was very intentional.” I waved my finger at him and he laughed lightly at me.
“Ok then Elle why are you are intentionally sleeping in your car?” He grinned at me and I couldn’t help but smile back at him using my name. I was so use to him calling me honey.
“Cause Lia left and I went to get fries and the light-” I started to babble explaining what had happened the best I could.
Bobby just sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck as I carried on. He thought I should call the cops but I was adamant that I wouldn’t.
“What are you doing here anyway, what time is it anyway?” I asked unsure of how long at all I was sleeping before he showed up.
“I dunno its after 1.” He shrugged and I pressed my lips together as I stared at him.
“And?” I encouraged him to go on. The paranoia still heavy in my mind for a second I thought maybe Bobby was in my house and maybe followed me here…
“And after I dropped of Tina I stopped to get a slushy and found you here. ‘sleeping.’ ” He says disapprovingly.
“Tina?” The name stuck on my tongue. One of his whores most likely.
“Yeah.” He shrugged it off like she meant nothing to him and she probably didn’t. I never heard the name before and the way Bobby went through girls I probably never would again… “Come on lets go.” He nodded for me to start the car back up but I shook my head no.
“Im not going back there till its light out.” I reminded him and he grinned a little at me.
“And Im not leaving ya here all night Elle.” He replied and I looked at him carefully.
“Youre gonna bring me home with you?” I said carefully remembering the weird night I spent in Bobbys house before.
“Im gonna go back with you okay.” He says as more of a statement then a question and I frowned.
“mmm I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I tried to discourage him. “It might be too dangerous.” I added and he smiled faintly at me.
“Look well just drive back, Ill take a look around and Ill call the cops if I need to. Just follow me okay.” He gave me no room to argue back because he just stepped back and got back in his own car. I sighed a little as I followed him back down the road to my house.
I didn’t like this. Not one bit. But what was the other alternatives? And at least he was letting me come back with him. Gerard would’ve insisted I stayed at the 7-11 and waited for him. Hmm or maybe not. Gerard and I weren’t as close as we were once were. Neither was Bobby and I for that matter…
He really is a good guy that Bobby Bryar is all I could think as we pulled up in front of the house. He shrugged a little as he walked around outside it. Nothing was obviously disturbed and my purse and crutch were exactly where I dropped them on the porch.
He took the keys from me and I gripped tightly to his arm as he opened the door as we stepped inside. The kitchen light was still the only one out…
“You think maybe Lia came back?” He asked and I shook my head no instantly.
“No I told you she went out.” I reminded him and he sighed a little as he stepped forward. I was still clutching so tightly to his arm. He looked like he was going to ask me to let go but he didn’t. Partially cause he could tell I was still so very scared and partially cause with out my crutch I needed to lean on him to walk.
He was walking towards the dark kitchen and I had no choice but to go with even though every bone in my body was screaming for us not to.
“Bobby wait.” I gripped him even tighter once we were in the doorway and he was reaching for the switch on the wall.
“The light just burnt out Elle.” He sorta chuckled as he flicked it on and off a few times.
“No.” I made a face at him and he laughed a little louder. “Right as I walked in! It burnt out!” I cried out and he shrugged a little.
“Yeah I guess.” He tells me and I frowned as he led me over and forced me to sit at the table. “You got a bulb Ill change it for you.” He suggests and I shrugged a little.
“Um in the cabinet I think.” I pointed over to it. I was beyond disgusted with myself at this point.
I don’t know why I have such a hard time dealing with things. I don’t know why I just cant be normal. Normal people don’t go running out in terror when a light bulb burns out, and they don’t have other people change it for them either…
“Here let me do it.” I got up to try to help him but he just made a face at me as he slid the chair I was sitting in under the light fixture. He wasn’t going to let me climb up on it and change it with one foot.
“Just here.” He took pity on me and let me help, handing me the new bulb to hold as he reached up to unscrew the dead one.
I found myself standing inches from his belt buckle. And god help me I could not resist running my eyes down the bulge in his pants below it. The memory of his taste filled my mouth and I spaced out a bit cause the next thing I know hes calling my name.
“Elle.” He waving the dead light bulb at me for me to take it from him and hand him the new one.
“Oh sorry.” I felt my cheeks flush but I don’t think he could see it in the faint light that was filling the kitchen, spilling in from the living room.
“There you go.” He declared as the light bulb caught the socket and a blinding light filled the room. He jumped off the chair and went back to the wall switch. Flicking it on and off a few times with satisfaction.
I couldn’t help but smile at him as he did it. Nor could I stop myself from going over and wrapping my arms around him in a hug.
“Thank you so much Bobby.” I sighed as I pressed myself up against him. “You know youre my best friend.” I tell him and he laughed as he pushed me back off him slightly.
“Cause I changed your light bulb?” He teased me and I swatted his arm playfully.
“No, not just cause of that, cause of… mmm lots of things.” Was the only reason I could give him that wouldn’t make me sound crazy but he was still looking at me like maybe I was. “What you don’t want to be my best friend anymore?” I asked a little hurt and he laughed.
“Naw its cool.” He smiled at me and I smiled back before hugging him once more. Bobby always made everything okay. I loved him dearly. For the last few months all I wanted to do was jump in his arms and hug him and now that I was, I was reluctant to let him go…
As much as I loved Gerard, I loved my Bobby too. And Gerard wasn’t here… It was just me and Bobby tonight…
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